Associate Bonus Watch: Shearman Matches. Yawn.
This morning's news is that Shearman & Sterling announced bonuses that match Milbank. We haven't confirmed this yet, but we have no reason to doubt it, since it's what everyone else is doing. If you have a memo, please send it our way.
While we were over at Greedy NY, our eye was caught by this plaintive post:
I hope this year of bonus numbers causes a revolt. But it wont. Because, lets face it we are all total dorks. The guys that never got dates, that got beat up in the playground. Thats why we sit here and take this beating and just gripe about it. As much as we hate bankers, they have the chutzpah to step up and do something about being wronged. We go into law because its a "safe" profession, the one where we are "guaranteed" a job.Seriously, if you went to a top 5 law school as I did, if you compared the student bodies of our law school and the business school, the B-school students were better looking, more confident. The law school students, on the other hand, were total geeks. The partners know this, since they themselves are dorks and losers and make a living out of getting yelled at by 25 year-old bankers and as such there will be no Revenge of the Nerds this year (or any other year). So lets stop talking as if we are hard.
Whether you agree or disagree, it's one of the most well-written and thoughtful postings we've read in a while (although, to be sure, the standards for message-board discourse aren't set very high). If you have any reactions, please feel free to add them in the comments.
Shearman announced this morning [Infirmation / Greedy NY]
No revenge of the nerds [Infirmation / Greedy NY]
(19) Comments
It is funny because it is true!
XOXO >>>>>> Opinionistas > David Lat
Opinionistas used to be good until she quit her job. Now it's just a boring rant of an unemployed ex-lawyer. At least Lat says something interesting once in a while, unlike Opinionistas (who now only talks about things like picking out furniture and moving to Brooklyn).
I don't know which sounds more miserable - hanging out with the "better looking and confident" business-types or hanging out with the lawyers who idolize them. Actually, that's probably not a tough call, but neither group makes me want to go anywhere near New York.
It is my hope that all top 5 school graduates feel this way. I started law school at a tier 4 law school and was able to transfer to a tier 1 school. The girls got uglier and the guys were bigger dorks. When I am sitting in class now with a stanford grad to my left and a yale grad to my right I chuckle. I know that they paid up the rear for their education and will go work for some white shoe firm (much like the complainer in this featured piece). I enjoy so much informing them that I went to a crappy state school where I had a GPA they would scoff at. Moreover, I lived in a fraternity where we were twice recognized as having the best party in the country (and I was the social chair). So you big nerds out there, while you were sitting in the library working away to get to your elite law school and subsequent white shoe firm, I was taking bong loads and taking care of ridiculously hot NFL cheerleaders. See you ivy league mopes in court, I will be the plaintiff's attorney that you loathe so much, with the gorgeous wife by my side and the smile that is backed by a knowledge that you sacraficed so much for so little. It doesn't get any better than listening to a whiny ivy leaguer who wouldn't know how to have a good time if it pulled his pants down.
Bankers are providing capital and creating wealth. They deserve to be paid more b/c their sevices are more valuable.
This has nothing to do with an archetype of scared, nerdy lawyers. This notion--that we are being exploited and could make more if only we banded together and rose up against the evil partners--stinks of collectivism.
MBA/JD has never set foot in a law school.
MBA/JD, it's great you've taken perverse pride in your educational background, but you're probably also recognizable as that guy with the massive chip on his shoulder. And you're probably short. (Or a part of you is.)
PS Seriously though, those of you who were rockstars at less than reputable schools, I applaud you--but if you barely graduated from, say, Chico, then the only explanation is that you were seriously oppressed in a previous life and God is finally giving you your just desserts.
Bankers and lawyers are just different types of nerds. Outside of anonymous message boards, I've never heard bankers described as "confident and sexy."
When are we going to hear about the Wachtell bonuses ?
Thank you for the much appreciated attention, lord knows I like it. Nope, not short, in either place. Hate to break it to you. And, in law school, last year, finish MBA next year. Actually sitting in class as I type, preping for a final exam that starts in 20 mins. I am here to console any ivy leaguer that paid over $10,000 for their undergraduate education. Feel free to drop me a comment and I will shed a tear for you. I feel a tear coming on as I type, those poor disenfranchised attorneys at biglaw. Awe, how the world's heart aches just for them.
I can think of a better distinguishing characteristic of lawyers over investment bankers. Lawyers tend to engender a greater percentage of trolls on their legal message boards.
"Awe" = Freudian slip?
You people just got a $20,000 raise, give me a break! It's nto like anyone's suffering here! (Financially that is.)
PS Anon 10:22, I'm right there with you, Opinionistas sucks! But you forgot her other favorite topic, how much smarter/more insightful/more sensitive/more culturally aware she is than everyone she meets.
WTF is up with all this insecurity about lawyers being 'nerds?' Call me wacky, but I was never trying to crash the frat parties in the first place.
This all strikes me as rather bizarre; I had thought that geek culture was on the rise--not just in the computer arena, but in all areas. And here we are worried about investment bankers being less geeky?
Law geek and damn proud of it, here.
Hey JD/MBA... maybe people actually enjoy the intellectual stimulation of an ivy league school. Life isn't just about getting from point A to point B while expending the least amount of effort that permits you to arrive at point B (but I guess maybe it is for you). Of course you want to make the most of the journey, but what people seek in this journey is highly subjective. Some people like the challenge of Ivy League. Apparently you enjoy bong hits and strippers... I'm sure that will work out for you in the long run...
Seems as though Lat's brought over all of the riffraff from Greedy NY. I'll be happier when this bonus business is behind us.
When are you going to give us the scoop about the bonuses at Wachtell? I'm currently deciding between WLRK and Cravath.
The Wachtell bonus information is here:
http://www.abovethelaw.com/2006/12/associate_bonus_watch_wachtell.php
The rule of thumb is just to double a top-of-the-market base.