October 2014

stack of bills cash money.jpgLike many of you, we have to do a little holiday traveling. So we’ll be away from the computer for a bit.
We’ve prepared some content to be published while we’re gone, so do keep checking in. But if some breaking legal news emerges and we’re slow in responding, now you know why.
Here’s an open comment thread in which you can post any new bonus announcements (or sound off on any other topic of your choosing). At this point, nothing exciting is expected on the bonus front. But if more shops announce later today, even if just to say that they’re matching, please note that here. Thanks.

Chadbourne Parke Chadbourn Park Chadborn Park.jpgOver at Infirmation / Greedy NY, there’s an interesting thread about Chadbourne & Parke. It started off with this post:

I heard a rumor from a partner at my firm that C&P is in “turmoil” and that numerous partners are looking around for new firms. Has anyone else heard a similar rumor? Any comment from C&P associates?

Which was seconded by this one:

“I’ve heard the same thing. I actually know of multiple C&P partners who have been talking to other firms about moving their practices…..”

But opposing viewpoints were offered in these two posts:

“Not what I hear. To the contrary I understand that the mood is upbeat and that C&P is busier than ever and growing. And, they matched bonuses and said in their memo that some associates would get more than their class year. Sounds like a good place to be.”

“I am an associate at Chadbourne and have seen no turmoil. I hear many rumors, but have not heard these. Any more info? Looking at the firm from the inside, IMHO it seems to be doing well and heading in the right direction. I get market comp at a decent place to work. So, I hope for my sake that the OP has it wrong. Just my two cents.”

If you have any detailed, solid information that might help resolve this confusion, we’d love to hear from you.
Turmoil at Chadbourne [Infirmation / Greedy NY]

Whatcha doin’ for New Year’s? Unless your plans include the words “Diddy” and “yacht,” they’re not as fabulous as this fête:
tim wu evite supreme court clerks the elect.JPG

Some explanation is in order. This party is being brought to you by one of America’s brightest legal minds: celebrity law professor Tim Wu, of Columbia Law School. (We don’t know who this “Sue” character is.)

If you haven’t read ATL’s fawning past coverage of Professor Wu, here’s one detail that says it all: Richard Posner calls him “the Genius Wu.” Need we say more?

The invite list is equally spectacular. It includes these legal luminaries:

(1) Noah Feldman, the hottie-cum-public-intellectual that Harvard just lured away from NYU;

(2) Kermit Roosevelt, the hottie-cum-law-professor-cum-novelist (yes, descended from THOSE Roosevelts); and

(3) Tali Farhadian, the hottie-cum-hottie-cum-hottie.

Memorably described as a “lush Persian beauty,” Farhadian belongs on a Milan runway, a top-five law school faculty, or both.

All of these celebs — like their host, Tim Wu (Breyer/OT 1999) — are members of the Elect. Professors Feldman and Roosevelt clerked for Justice Souter (in October Terms 1998 and 1999, respectively). Farhadian clerked for Justice O’Connor (in October Term 2004).

But Feldman, Roosevelt and Farhadian, in all of their blinding brightness, might be eclipsed if a single invitee makes an appearance at the festivities.

Yes, that’s right. Also on “The List”: AQUAGIRL!!!

Allow us to paraphrase JFK’s famous words about Thomas Jefferson:

“I think this will be the most extraordinary collection of young legal celebrity and fabulosity that has ever been gathered together at a party — with the possible exception of when Aquagirl swam alone.”

Earlier: An Update on Aquagirl: Things Are Going Swimmingly
Wherein We Receive An Email from Celebrity Law Prof Tim Wu
Musical Chairs: Professor Noah Feldman Is Leaving NYU for Harvard!

stack of bills cash money.jpgAnnouncements just in from Kaye Scholer and Covington & Burling (NY). Guess what? They’ll be paying associate bonuses consistent with the New York market rates.
We realize this is thrilling news. But please, control your excitement.
We don’t have a copy of the Covington memo, but we understand that (1) the bonuses will be paid in January, and (2) the class of 2006/”stub year” bonus is a prorated $30,000.
The Kaye Scholer memo, after the jump.
P.S. We’re still interested in a copy of the Cahill Gordon memo from yesterday (assuming there was one).

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Associate Bonus Watch: Kaye Scholer and Covington Match”

Jed Rakoff Jed S Rakoff District Judge SDNY Above the Law.jpgWe’ve solicited funny holiday party stories from you. We haven’t received much thus far.
But from the legendary Southern District of New York, probably the nation’s most distinguished district court bench, we did get this account of its celebrated “Courthouse Follies” (which took place on the evening of Friday, December 15):

Item: The Southern District of New York’s “Courthouse Follies,” tonight.

Showstopping performance: A boisterous musical number by Judge Jed Rakoff (at right), Judge Laura Taylor Swain, Magistrate Judge Ronald Ellis, and Chief Magistrate Judge Lisa Margaret Smith. Sung to the tune of “There Once Was a Man” from Doris Day’s “The Pajama Game,” with additional lyrics and dialogue by Judge Rakoff, the act featured Judge Rakoff in a blond fright wig, Judge Swain in a Groucho mask with cigar, Judge Ellis in an oversized red polka-dot bow tie, and Judge Smith in what I can characterize only as a goofy black hat.

Was that a woman’s blond fright wig? If so, Judge Rakoff can kiss any elevation hopes good-bye. Senator Brownback opposes all judicial nominees who have appeared in drag.

Highlight: A musical shoutout to Underneath Their Robes! The patter leading up to the song was about changes in the courthouse under the new chief judge. One of them was (I’m paraphrasing slightly), “I get all my case info from www.underneaththeirrobes.com.”

Less a joke than a name check, but it suggests that Judge Rakoff is a fan.

Interestingly enough, the new chief judge of the Southern District is none other than Kimba M. Wood — the reigning Superhottie of the Federal Judiciary, per UTR.
P.S. In case you’re wondering, yes, we will be holding a new Superhotties of the Federal Judiciary contest. Look for it in 2007.

As if you needed it, here’s proof that billing 3000 hours a year is NOT the ultimate aphrodisiac:
atl poll results attorney lawyer sex life sex lives.jpg
And if you’re hoping to spice things up by stuffing a sex toy in your S.O.’s stocking, please confirm that your gift is not illegal under state or local law.
Sex toys still banned in Alabama, guns okay [Boing Boing]
Earlier: ATL Reader Poll: Are You Happy With Your Sex Life?

This case summary, from CourtBriefs, was emailed to us with the following subject line: “Why I saw this and thought of ATL, I have no idea.”
Regardless of your views on abortion — and we’ll just say, for the record, that we are not unsympathetic to the pro-life cause — this lawsuit should strike you as a bit dubious:
Doe v Planned Parenthood 1.jpeg
This is like suing a bear for failure to warn that he might attack. A bear is as a bear does; and so is Planned Parenthood.*
Here’s our favorite part of the Doe v. Planned Parenthood summary:

As a result of the counseling, assertions and representations of the Planned Parenthood personnel and various Defendants, [Doe] underwent an abortion that day. Her unborn infant, Michael Doe, died as a result of the abortion procedure.

That tends to happen when you get AN ABORTION, dear.
(In all seriousness, even pro-lifers — or pro-choicers who, like Bill Clinton, believe abortion should be “safe, legal and rare” — should not support a lawsuit like this. Awarding money damages to women for undergoing abortions seems like unwise public policy.)
Doe v. Planned Parenthood [Court Briefs (subscription)]
* We’re setting aside all the other problems, including jurisdictional ones, with suing a bear.

The five-year-old had a better excuse.
(In all seriousness, we have nothing against solo practitioners. And one could argue that, if anything, Biglaw attorneys are more likely to engage in sexual harassment than solo practitioners.)
School accuses 5-year-old of sex harassment [Herald-Mail]
Attorney Censured for Pinching Secretary [New York Law Journal via ATL]

* The Volokh Conspiracy wins Best Law Blog. Congrats to the VC crew! [The Weblog Awards 2006 via 2nd Place Winner How Appealing]
* F&@% you, FCC!. [CNN.com]
* And in my-home-state-is-not-completely-backward news… [Jurist]
* If he sold it, Ron Goldman wants the money. [AP via FindLaw]
* Internet illiterate NY Mom, who doesn’t know “a kazaa from a kazoo,” is dropped from recording industry’s suit against her children. [AP via lexisONE]

Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky oral sex blow job Bill Clinton impeachment.jpgAmerica’s SweeTart just graduated from the London School of Economics with an M.S. in Social Psychology. Interestingly enough, her LSE master’s thesis was law-oriented: an examination of the effect of pretrial publicity on jury selection.
(Monica: Please don’t treat that rolled-up diploma like a cigar. Thank you.)
Lewinsky graduates from London School of Economics [Reuters via Drudge Report]
In Search of the Impartial Juror: The third person effect and pretrial publicity [London School of Economics (Psychology Dept.)]
Nature of President Clinton’s Relationship with Monica Lewinsky [Starr Report]
Now Here’s an Oral Sex Scandal for You [Volokh Conspiracy]

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