In case you’re just joining us, pull up a chair, and listen up (or scroll down the page):
CHARNEY V. SULLIVAN & CROMWELL IS ABOUT TO SETTLE!!!
So plaintiff Aaron Charney probably doesn’t give a rat’s ass about how much your piddling law firm is now going to pay you going forward. He doesn’t care who has raised associate salaries and who hasn’t. He won’t have to work a Biglaw job for quite some time, we’re guessing.
We’re not very good at math. But with the help of our trusty calculator, we’ve put together some back-of-the-napkin figures for you.
Sullivan & Cromwell has about 160 partners. See here (158 partners, as of May 2006; AmLaw 100; subscription may be required). S&C’s profits per partner for 2005 clocked in at an impressive $2,410,000.
Last year, 2006, will probably be even better for the firm. Their M&A practice had a banner year. In the 2006 AmLaw 100, they came in at #5, with $2.41 million in PPP. In the 2007 rankings, we wouldn’t be surprised to see them right behind Wachtell and Cravath, at some figure in the $3 million range.
Anyway, the point is that S&C is FILTHY RICH. And there are only 160 partners to split up that huge pot of gold.
Here are some figures for your consideration. We assume (1) 160 partners, and (2) that the Charney settlement money comes straight out of partner pockets (without regard to taxes, insurance, etc.).
Charney Settlement — Reduction in Profits Per Partner
1. $100,000 — $625 per partner
Yeah, that’s right. Six hundred bucks a head. That’s not even Alexandra Korry’s weekly car service bill.
2. $500,000 — $3,125 per partner
Again, chump change to a Sullivan partner. Won’t even buy you a Brioni suit.
3. $1,000,000 — $6,250 per partner
In the AmLaw 100, anything under $10,000 in profits per partner is a ROUNDING ERROR.
4. $2,000,000 — $12,500 per partner
We’re still not impressed. This trivial amount will NOT determine whether S&C comes in 3rd, 4th, or 5th in the AmLaw 100 for 2007. In last year’s top 10, the smallest gap was a $20,000 difference in profits per partner, between #9 (Milbank) and #10 (Davis Polk).
5. $5,000,000 — $31,250 per partner
Okay, MAYBE this is the point at which S&C will cry uncle. If you’re an S&C partner, you could use this money to buy your wife a Lexus ES 350 for Valentine’s Day, to use as her “second car” when her Jaguar is in the shop (and to let your mother-in-law drive around when she comes up from Boca Raton).
So here’s what every single gay lawyer in America is wondering right now:
IS AARON CHARNEY SINGLE???
Update (11:55 PM): As it turns out, the premise of this post was COMPLETELY WRONG. The case is definitely not settling. Rather, Sullivan & Cromwell has turned around and sued Aaron Charney!!!
Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of Charney v. Sullivan & Cromwell (scroll down)