Bad Ideas, Depositions, Rudeness, Weirdness

Deposition Train Wreck Stories, Please

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Yes, we linked to it previously. But we love this video clip so much, we’re going to link to it again. Check it out here.
Speaking of hilarious depositions, we’d like to solicit your funny stories about depositions gone awry. Please submit them to us by email (subject line: “Deposition Story”).
Most of the depositions that we attended back in the day were pretty boring affairs (and once we fell asleep in one). But lately we’ve heard some amusing deposition anecdotes.
We heard an especially good one involving a Cravath partner who couldn’t keep her hands to herself. Or maybe she could — and that was precisely the problem….
Anyway, check it out, after the jump.


Caveat: Like our Judge Marsha Berzon story, this is another one of those “as told to” tales. We wrote this up based on something that was related to us orally — the write-up was not done by our tipster.
(So please read it with that warning in mind. We believe we have been pretty faithful to the story. But there is always the chance that some inaccuracies have been introduced in the recordation process.)
Without further ado, here’s the story, from an associate at a large law firm.
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I’m assigned to cover a deposition being defended by a Cravath partner (hereinafter “CP”). I hear from a colleague, who had previously covered another CP-defended depo, that CP has a tendency to fidget.
So I’m prepared for some minor thumb-twiddling during the depo. No big deal. We all get restless during depos.
The deposition begins. While her client is being deposed, CP starts playing with this roll of Scotch tape in front of her — like a kid with ADD. Presumably she is listening to her client’s deposition testimony. But she seems far more engrossed in the tape, as if she had never seen tape before in her life.
CP starts cutting off little pieces of tape, maybe about an inch long, and sticking them to the dispenser. She takes one of these tape shreds, sticks it to her hand for a few seconds, removes it, and crumples it. She takes another tape shred, sticks it to her hand, peels it off, discards it.
CP keeps doing this, while her client is testifying. She’s doing it again and again and again, as if she has OCD. I’m thinking she’s a complete freak show.
But maybe it’s a deliberate strategy on her part? Because I just realize that, completely riveted by her Scotch tape antics, I’ve missed the past five minutes of her client’s testimony.
Realizing that I’ve zoned out, I try to refocus on the deposition. But CP kicks her game up a notch.
She takes a piece of Scotch tape, sticks it to HER FOREHEAD, removes it, and folds it up. She does this again. And again. The little crumpled-up tape pieces are littering the conference room table in front of her.
I can’t believe what I’m seeing; I can’t help staring. I’m also trying very hard not to laugh.
Needless to say, I’ve lost all track of what’s going on in the depo. I’m also wondering, since CP is sitting next to her client (the deponent) at the head of the table, whether the videographer is recording any of this “fun with office supplies” for posterity.
Just when I think it can’t get any worse, it does. CP takes a piece of tape and sticks it on HER NOSE. She leaves it there for a few seconds. Then she peels it off.
And then, I swear to God, she LOOKS AT IT. She scrutinizes it, presumably for the detritus of her pores — as if it were a Biore strip. I suppress an “oh no she didn’t” gasp.
After a few seconds of intent gazing, CP looks up from the oh-so-fascinating tape strip — and realizes that pretty much EVERY ATTORNEY AT THE DEPO is gawking at her. A look of embarrassment registers on her face.
CP desists from her antics. For the rest of the deposition, CP conducts herself in pretty normal fashion.
But WOW. I have to wonder what her client, who was being DEPOSED while all this was going on, was thinking.
Why would a large corporation pay someone $600 an hour to “Biore” her face with scotch tape in the middle of a depo?
What Is It With Texas Depositions? [Sui Generis]

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