Monica Goodling

All Hail the Queen: Monica Goodling on Capitol Hill (Part 1)

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The Democrats have gotten a lot of political mileage out of the U.S. Attorneys firing “scandal.” But their luck is about to run out. They never should have messed with the Magnificent Monica Goodling.
We’re liveblogging the Monica Goodling’s appearance before the House Judiciary Committee, which is just getting underway. Our commentary will be added continuously to this post (until we eventually migrate to a new post). So just refresh your browser for the latest.
10:19: WOW. Girlfriend looks FANTASTIC. A bona fide hottie. She has definitely shed a few pounds since the red Solo cup photo — which needs to be tossed in the dustbin of history, stat.
10:22: Monica Goodling is wearing a sober black suit, which strikes just the right note for congressional proceedings. Her dark blonde hair is immaculate: lustrous, straight but not flat, with the perfect amount of volume. The look is finished off with demurely curling tendrils — elegant and feminine, but still businesslike enough for Congress..
Goodling is in her early 30s; but today she looks like she’s in her 20s. For those of you who aren’t watching this on television, who wait for the photographs in tomorrow’s newspaper, take our word for it: you will be struck by the totality of her “makeover.”
Discussion continues after the jump.


10:27: Chairman John Conyers gavels the hearing to order. He scolds the Capitol Hill paparazzi for being so disruptive and distracting. But can you blame them, when a celebrity like Monica Goodling is in the house?
10:31: “Good morning, Madam witness…”
(We are like pigs in s**t right now…)
10:33: Chairman Conyers — who has a great voice, by the way — reads his opening statement. Monica Goodling’s face is completely flat and expressionless.
We’ve heard tons about her alleged crying fit:

[A] veteran career Justice Department attorney testified Goodling had come to his office and couldn’t stop crying.

“She proceeded for the next, it seemed like forever, but it was probably only about 30 or 45 minutes, to bawl her eyes out and say, ‘All I ever wanted to do was serve this president and this administration and this department,’ ” Associate Deputy Attorney David Margolis said.

“My goal was to try to calm her, so I gave her some advice to calm her — calm her down, which didn’t work,” Margolis said.

“I tried to make her laugh, which didn’t work, and to give her some personal advice, which she didn’t take,” Margolis said.

In light of her past emotional fragility, combined with her utterly affectless, robotic face this morning, we have to wonder: Is Monica Goodling on medications today?
(Chairman Conyers: Like a lawyer in a cross-examination or deposition, ask the “Madam witness” what meds she’s on this morning.)
10:39: Monica Goodling’s attorney, John Dowd of Akin Gump — who was the partner that the Akin Gump Escort worked for, by the way — introduces himself. He’s no stranger to high-stakes, inside-the-Beltway proceedings.
10:40: MONICA SPEAKS!!! In response to Conyers’s question as to whether she received certain documents from the Committee, she said: “Yes thank you.”
Her voice is high, musical, lilting. We couldn’t tell from only three words; but did we detect a hint of a southern accent? Goodling is from York County in Pennsylvania; but she did spend her law school years down south, at Regent University Law School in Virginia.
10:44: Conyers asks her how the list of the fired U.S. attorneys was concocted. And Monica Goodling… invokes the Fifth Amendment!!! (And the Sixth Amendment too, for good measure.)
We are now going through the motions with respect to Goodling’s grant of use immunity. Goodling is presented with a copy of the judicial order concerning her immunity. FUN FUN!!!
10:47: Conyers tells Monica to pull the microphone a bit closer, and to speak in a loud, clear voice. Monica does so — and smiles a shy, apologetic smile. Great teeth!
10:49: Right out of the gate, in her opening statement, Goodling THROWS THE DAG UNDER THE BUS. She goes on and on and on about how thoroughly she briefed Deputy Attorney General Paul McNulty about the firings — contrary to his prior, public statements.
OMG — Paul McNulty told Monica Goodling to stay away from a congressional briefing about the U.S. attorney firings because, if she were to be recognized as White House liasion, questions might be raised about the White House’s role in all of this. WOW….
10:53: Goodling says that she interviewed “hundreds” of DOJ job applicants during her time at the apartment. Most of these applicants were for political positions, but some were for career positions.
Goodling suggests that sometimes the line between political and career appointments blurred in her mind — and admits that she “may have gone too far” in taking political considerations into account when filling career posts.
10:54: Goodling states that she wants to introduce herself to the committee, because “the person I read about on the internet is not me… At heart I am a quiet person. I try to do the right thing and help people along the way.”
10:56: Conyers wants to know who put David Iglesias’s name on the list of U.S. Attorneys to be fired. Goodling says she doesn’t know — just like everyone else has said.
This reminds us of those Family Circus “Not Me” cartoons. A mother asks her kids who broke a vase in the living room; the kids all say, “Not Me!” And a little ghost labeled “Not Me” is seen scampering away in the background…
Digression: We have the memo for the Goodwin Procter raise, referenced in this comment. We will post it, and put up a thread for salary discussion, during the lunch break of the Goodling testimony. Check back at that time.
Update: Lots of great discussion in the comments. Please continue the conversation over in this new thread.

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