Dude has a disease, give the guy a break

why is he still an associate?

Michael K. Brandow destroyed the periodic table of elements because the only element he recognizes is the element of surprise.

Where's the joke? I don't get it.

The whole crew is pretty rough looking. Like law zombies.

Mr. Brandow is legally blind. He chose to take his firm profile picture without his dark sunglasses to feel and perhaps appear more normal. Good job mocking the disabled.

I remember reading an article a while ago about a hiring partner at a biglaw firm that liked to consider candidates outside the top school. specifically he mentioned people with investment experience. Can anyone please remind where the article is? I tried to search the site and go through the archives but had no luck.
tyia.

Perhaps Billy won't be asked to blog-sit anymore when Lat is away.....

Merck,

You are a lame and pathetic excuse for Lat. So this guy didn't do anything stupid, yet you decide to publicly humiliate him based on nothing more than the fact that he went to a no-name law school and has a bad picture? You're an asshole.

I don't get the joke either. How did you even come across this?

Michael had been up all night drinking coffee to make a deadline, after suffering through a rectal exam by a proctologist with big fat sausage fingers. Unfortunately, it was the last day the firm photographer was available to take pictures.

http://bmerck.googlepages.com/BillyDoor_copy.jpg

what about this one Billy- want to make fun of this guy for the crap on one of his chins? That would probably be more fair than some of the other stuff on this page.

bad picture????? This is the worst picture on a firm website of all time! That's the comedy!

Come on! This pic is great!

I agree that the choice to mock this particular lawyer is in bad form. I believe it is important that the knives only be pulled out for the deserving, and this guy ain't it. Admittedly, the firm as a whole seems to have had a very bad photographer for most of their photos; as you will see if you view their profiles, the ones with the cloudy grey background all appear to have been done by Glamour Shots drop-outs, leaving the subjects looking washed out, and with overall less than flattering results. The more recent additions to the firm have better pictures. I can't believe that this photographer thought these were all good takes, and that the firm signed off on putting them on the Web. But that's hardly newsworthy. We lawyers are a pretty fugly breed, by and large, and so bad pictures are hardly worth more than a yawn.

This was on autoadmit months ago and even there (not exactly the most sophisticated crowd) it got shot down as a cruel attempt to make fun of a blind person.

I don't know if this guy is blind. I had never even heard of the firm before. Still, the fact that it has been out there for months makes this at best a lame, Carlos Mencia-esque retread of an old internet joke, and at worst an ignorant finger pointing at someone less fortunate.

I hope Lat is back from vacation soon.

This is actually hilarious. Many of you need to get over yourselves.

Even worse... Billy stole this entire blog posting from another blog. You should be ashamed of yourself for not giving any credit!

http://mononcqc.wordpress.com/2007/03/26/this-lawyer-is-fierce/

I agree with 2:30. This post EATS SHIT. And, you eat shit too, Merck, you fat, ugly assbag.

At least Lat, while infantile from time to time, rarely uses this forum to assert mindless insults against anonymous and otherwise innocent victims.

THIS POST PISSES ME OFF.

http://trickeries.com/83/michael-k-brandow-terrifying-lawyer-update/

If the guy is blind I feel really bad. Either way, it is one of the funniest things I've seen in a while.

Did the photographer just tell him that he slept with his wife?

2:38 - hiliarious! This post, hilarious! I've been laughing for 10 minutes now.

Billy: While I cannot claim to be a graduate of such laudable institutions as Whitehead Road Elementary and Clark Central High School, I am intellligent enough to know when not to cast stones. Even according to your post, this guy has done "nothing" to earn your ridicule. Under such standards, and from the looks of your website, you too deserve ridicule.

I read that Billy Merck rapes children.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

HEY, EVERYONE, LOOK AT THIS GUY!

WHAT A LOSER!

HAAARRRDDDDEEEE---HHHAAAARRRR!

http://bmerck.googlepages.com

Wow, what a low class post.

Sure, Billy's fat, but how many of you aren't? By the looks of things in my building, most of you are fat. But, how many of you were electrocuted while taking the photo for your firm?

Billy Merck was born and raised in Athens, Georgia. He attended Whitehead Road Elementary School, Burney-Harris-Lyons Middle School, and Clarke Central High School, where he played football.

After graduating from high school, he initially went to college at Georgia Tech in Atlanta, Georgia to study chemical engineering. However, having decided to change his course of studies, he transferred back home to the University of Georgia, where he completed an undergraduate degree in sociology in 2000.

He then attended the University of Georgia School of Law, graduating in 2004.

Billy has worked for the Legislative Counsel Bureau of the State of Nevada, drafting legislation and advising members of the legislature as a Deputy Legislative Counsel. He has also worked as a judicial law clerk for Judge N. Kent Lawrence of the Athens-Clarke County State Court.

He was admitted to the State Bar of Georgia in January 2005. He is a member of the Western Circuit Bar Association and a representative for the Athens district on the Executive Council of the Young Lawyers Division of the State Bar of Georgia.

why does everyone here defend Lat? his whole website is built on holding up people for public ridicule - and no, not just when people "deserve" ridicule. e.g., when he attacked the family of a ninth circuit judge.

Okay, fine. Lat sucks too.

However, this gem remains the most pathetically dimwitted of all posts that have appeared on these pages.

I have filled innumerable toilet bowls with funnier material that this (and, less stinky too).

This is really fucking bad......really fucking bad. Take it down.

Oh, for crying out loud! It's a funny post. Normally, I would have no need to express my sentiments, but the vitriol contained in many of these comments compels me to dissent. I'm sure there are many who also find the post funny who choose not to comment.

Yikes!!!

This guy makes Nancy Pelosi look natural.

Eyelift gone terribly wrong?

WTF is so funny about this post? Dude is blind and his eyes look weird. So the fuck what? There's nothing remotely funny about your post. Ooh, his eyes look weird!!! OMG call the cops!!!11 Please.

Christ, at least when Lat made fun of the 9th Circuit judge and her family it had an element of catty humor to it. Billy, on the other hand, seems to be a no-talent assclown who's been practicing for a whole 3 years, as opposed to Brandow's 26 years (and, har har, Billy can't even spring for ten clams to register his own domain, it seems).

EPIC FAIL! EPIC FAIL!

Yes master, I will obey.....

Is the guy blind or have some other physically ailment that makes him look so goofy in the photo? If not, it's mildly amusing. If so, take it down and apologize.

This post was like reading a Garfield comic strip. Unfunny and incomprehensible.

Lat, can this fat bastard and hire some real bloggers to fill in while you're away.

No, you have it all wrong.

Lat, judging from the Halverson comments logically concluded that the blood lust of his gentle readership has not been sated; Mr. Brandow is merely being offered up as fresh meat.

And the guy did post the picture on his website, right?

Can anyone actually provide evidence supporting the claim that Brandow is blind?

That picture is hilariously bad.

I don't care if the guy is a blind, deaf, mute AIDS relief worker in Sub-Saharan Africa who volunteers to save orphaned baby seals in his free time, the picture is appalling. Even if the guy can't change his appearance, the photographer and law firm deserve all the ridicule for allowing such an unflattering picture to represent Mr. Brandow.

Holding strangers up for baseless public ridicule is NEVER funny, Merck.

While such conduct might be acceptable in Backwater, Georgia, it is frowned upon here in civilization.

And as for you Lat, how far you have fallen. From the gilded cage of Wachtell to the muck of some redneck's vendetta against the world (perhaps borne of his difficulties getting laid at Georgia Tech).

The ship is truly sinking.

This picture looks familiar didn't Lat have a post about this guys before. Maybe not ... just wondering?

See http://www.ytmnd.com/keyword/Stares_Into_Your_Soul?start=322&PHPSESSID=17a9a...c

For a completion of similar “stares into your soul” photos.

3:25 - How do you know Billy has no game? I know it because I looked at his picture.

The guy is either blind or has Graves' Disease. The latter is a thyroid disorder which makes the sufferer's eyes bulge out in bizarre ways.

To wit:

http://tinyurl.com/yrcomc

Oh please. 3:29, if you do not have a medical degree to back up that tenuous diagnosis, refrain from the sanctimonious comments. It's probably just a bad picture. That makes it amusing.

never thought I'd see the day where XOXO has more class than this place.

Anonymous 3:35 - 3:29 here.

Actually, I do have a medical degree.

And go fuck yourself with the "sanctimonious" stuff.

Have a nice day.

Billy Merck thinks he's the shit because he's merely massive double-chin fat, and not fat-scooter fat.

Lat probably associates with him because he also has a weird way of using the royal "we." http://bmerck.googlepages.com/aboutus

Lat has apparently missed the fact that Mr. Merck slums in state court most of the time. http://bmerck.googlepages.com/biography

Sweet picture in your living room with your "brief case." What's in there - crackers?

Also, sweet state court clerkship - is that the trial court of general jurisdiction or even lower - like juvenile or traffic.

Also, sweet webpage.

"After graduating from high school, [Merck] initially went to college at Georgia Tech in Atlanta, Georgia to study chemical engineering.

However, having decided to change his course of studies, he transferred back home to the University of Georgia, where he completed an undergraduate degree in sociology in 2000."

===========

Couldn't hack it in the big city, huh, Merck?

This is lame.....like egging on the short kid to fight the Downs' Syndrome kid in junior high.

How about I make fun of Billy Merck for not getting a Big Law raise? Nevermind, that's lame too.

Now back to my big problem of the day....should I buy a 335i coupe or wait for the G37 and S5?

With Terry Schiavo, Dr. Frist at least had a moving picture. Dr. 3:29 can make diagnoses based on a single photo.

That's it? You're goofing on this guy b/c of a bad photo SOMEOME ELSE took of him?

Geezus, man. You can't come up with anything better than THAT?

Is there some deeper, meta meaning to this post that has somehow passed me by?

Who the fuck ARE you, Billy Merck?

"should I buy a 335i coupe or wait for the G37 and S5"

Wait for the new V8 M3. Maybe Billy Merck can wash it for you, using his double chin as a sponge.

Nah, just couldn't hack it at Georgia Tech. Place is fo' real'...

Little John ran me out of the ATL, yo.

Me and him had beef.

(Well, actually, Mr. John had this thick roast beef sandwich, whch was oozing horseradish sauce... and I was wicked hungry from getting off the bus too quickly... and, you know how it is... my blood sugar was a little low and I wasn't thinking straight... and, well, you understand, right... I could have passed out.)

Merck, it's one thing to mock someone's looks. But you have gone way far and mocked someone's legal ability. Who are you? Some arbiter of legal ability? I beg to differ.
http://www.mercklaw.com/index.php?option=com_contact&Itemid=3

Dear 3;20:

If you find Garfield “incomprehensible”, I would avoid the New Yorker at all costs….

Bring back Lat.

This post is below the belt.

Abovethelaw is turning into XOXO now? Unprovoked attacks on non-public figures who haven't done anything wrong?

For shame.

BILLY BLOWS!

Keep some perspective. It’s just a goofy mug shot from an attorney website.

I say "fair game".

Billy, you're a no-talent hack. The wit of Lat's humor is obviously lost on you. How difficult would it be to go and find an original entry for lawyer of the day? This is a retread of an ancient picture with no substance whatsoever... not to mention, that your picture is about as hideous as his and your resume isn't any more impressive.

Here, I'll do the work for you:

The 10803 5/29 lawyer of the day goes to:

Reynold Mason, a former judge in Brooklyn who was just shipped upstate for failing to pay a cool quarter-mil in child support.

(Link to law.com article below)

Quit now, Billy. We'd be better off with no posts until Lat's return, rather than your hamhanded (pun intended, in case you missed it) attempts at humor.

Jesus Christ.

ATL posts a picture of a random chick that's somewhat unflattering, and you, the readers, come out from under your rocks to mock her and talk about how fat and not-hot said random chick is, simply because she's there and you don't think she looks enough like Angelina Jolie.

ATL posts a picture of some dude who clearly never learned to smile for the camera, and has an OBJECTIVELY CREEPY stare, regardless of whether or not he can help it, and suddenly we're supposed to feel bad about mocking random strangers???

You are all a bunch of fucking sexist pigs. EAT SHIT AND DIE.

(This picture is fucking HILARIOUS.)

Peace out, ATL. It was good while it lasted.

Making fun of goofy photos is fine.

But Billy totally failed at it, because (1) the post is as unfunny and head-scratchingly strange as, yes, a New Yorker cartoon or any Saturday's worth of "Garfield and Friends", and (2) it's a 2-month-old story, which is an eternity as far as the internets are concerned.

6:33, you sound like an exceedingly unattractive woman, both on the outside and on the inside. Do you really fail to see the difference between a disease that could affect any good person, and fatness? Hint: Gluttony is still a sin. Blindness isn't.

"William Merck is the founder of the Law Offices of William R. Merck, a law firm specializing in legal research and writing and appellate law."

Translation: William Merck has never tried a case on his own.

Prior to starting his own firm, he served as law clerk to the Hon. N. Kent Lawrence, State Court of Athens-Clarke County, Georgia, and as Deputy Legislative Counsel to the Nevada State Legislature.

Translation: William Merck has never tried a case on his own. And the mighty William Merck was a law clerk to a judge of a Georgia court of limited jurisdiction. In other words, not just an icky state court, but an icky lower state court headed by an elected judge.

http://www.georgiacourts.org/aoc/selfhelp/court_diagram.html

Wait a second. Which Billy Merck are we talking about?

Is it the William Merck in Athens, GA who does other lawyers' research and writing, billing himself as "Your Virtual Associate"?

http://www.mercklaw.com/

Or is it the Billy Merck in Athens, GA who practices in
"General Civil Litigation, Misdemeanor Criminal/DUI Defense, Election/Campaign Law, Small Business, Environmental Law, Civil Rights, and Appellate/Substantive Motion Practice"?

http://bmerck.googlepages.com/

Merck- I must have the name of your tailor. His eye for detail (and sleeve length) is amazing.

Billy's posts are awesome. It is truly hilarious how underachievers are jealous of his accomplishments and try to put down Billy for making fun of fat people or people who went to crappy schools. Can we say insecure?

Dear 6:33:

I am with you on the fucking HILARIOUS part. (For the record, the balance of your post is hereby disputed.)

Further, your jagoff sayeth not.

7:48, 7:56 and others: Lat went to Harvard, Yale Law and Wachtell. If Billy was really an underachiever, do you really think he would hang out with Billy?

8:09 -

Hey, what's up, Billy?

7:47, lol -- yes, clearly I'm unattractive. Because every woman who objects to sexist nonsense is clearly ugly. LMAO. I love how people like you can never think of anything more clever to say.

I wasn't referring to any fat women. I was referencing the random posts Lat puts up ALL THE FUCKING TIME with women who range from average-looking to pretty, and people immediately rain down the sexism on them. Plus, I've yet to see proof that this guy suffers from an actual disability. I do, however, see proof that you suffer from mental retardation. And yet, strangely, I feel no guilt laughing at you and your 47 IQ. (Preemptive insult-prediction: I'm a fat, hostile bitch or somesuch. Again with the creativity of a six-year-old).

But will it play in Peoria?

(For those of you not paying close attention, and why would you, the joke is strictly visual, “Mr. Brandow is active professionally as a member of the Peoria Bar Association”, dontcha know.)

So, 8:50, I'm convinced. Got any pix to share?

Dear 8:09:

Yes.

Hey, 7:56 - you don't have to choose. They're the SAME PERSON. Check phone numbers.

8:09, Lat is like the moderately pretty girl who hangs out with ugly friends to make herself feel like Angelina Jolie.

In other words, yes.

8:56, as a matter of fact I do, you can find them on the internet right next to pics of YOUR MOM.

9:00,

Obviously ironic sarcasm is lost on you.

Duh, of course the two Billy Mercks are the same. My question is why he has two websites that advertise that his law firm does entirely different things.

Maybe Billy Merck will hire me as a summer associate?

Oh, thank god, L2L. We thought you'd never come back.

8:50 - you're my heroine. You're absolutely right on all fronts. I love, also, how "you must be fat and unattractive" is supposed to have this silencing effect on women. Those traits have never hindered dudes, so why should a woman crumble if they are, in fact, fat and ugly?

Counting down to comment that 8:50 and I are jus' jellus.....

9:05:

Mom?

Dear 9:02,

Lest get this straight. You think Lat is “like the moderately pretty girl who hangs out with ugly friends to make herself feel like Angelina Jolie”?

Wow.

"I was referencing the random posts Lat puts up ALL THE FUCKING TIME with women who range from average-looking to pretty, and people immediately rain down the sexism on them."

this is completely true. (said the married guy.) but not lat's fault.

I wonder if he had class with this prof at John Marshall:

http://www.jmls.edu/directory/kamp_allen.shtml

Oh calm the fuck down. Anyone who puts a picture like that on the web has no judgment. Its a damned funny post.

Sigh...

Once again, Brandow did not take the picture at issue or "put it up" on the firm website. He is just a piss-ant associate who likely had no role whatsoever in the matter.

Making fun of the result is like watching a person get beat up, and, while he writhes on the ground in pain, walking over and pissing on him.

Not nice; not funny -- end of story.

I also agree with 8:50.

I can't believe the level of umbrage here from people who otherwise seem to condone mockery on ATL of other people (i.e. women) for their looks. Yeah, yeah, "it's different because he's blind." So it's just fine to mock people for their looks unless the object of your mockery has some affliction that reminds you to feel too guilty to go through with it?

Actually, I don't think it's a funny post, and I don't think it's defensible to mock this anonymous innocent person. But then, I also dislike the ATL commenters' ritual of scorning the looks of every moderately attractive woman whose picture shows up on the blog. I wonder if any of you who are so outraged now have said anything before on the many occasions when that was going on.

The lowest of you are those personally attacking Billy Merck. What point are you making, exactly? "See what it feels like to be mocked for your looks?" Fine. Post your own picture so we can show you what it feels like too.

Oh, 1:52, aren't you so above-it-all; so right in every way?

You're probably a fat assbag like Merck.

No one wants to hear from you, pig.

Cccccant wwwe all get along?

Dear 12:59:

Night of the Living Dead?

I'm not above anything; I just hate hypocrites. Count yourself among them, sanctimonious ass.

Also, aside from the laughable and irrelevant assumption that I'm fat, I bet you also think I'm female. Or would you even think of calling me a pig otherwise?

But thanks for voicing the consensus on who should be heard from. I'll be sure to concoct a spinelessly vicious attitude like yours next time I actually care about being heard by you.

Now, why not link to a picture of your homely self so I can mock you anonymously? No? Okay, I'll just take your tack and assume you're a dickless leper.

No one wants to hear from a dickless leper!

Yeah, keep it up! This thread has been going for 36 hours straight!

Now, children.

The picture is not an unflattering, personal picture. It's a public picture put up by a law firm, and it's hilarious.

Let me ask you. If you saw the law firm webpage, would you hire this guy as your attorney?

Again, the picture is hilarious.

I don't recall anyone making fun of this guy for his LOOKS. Seems to me people are making fun of the POSE he's making for the camera.

Totally, one hundred percent up for grabs. If people started saying shit like, "talk about your British dentistry" or something I could see that being a little personal and mean-spirited. But the dude's face clearly says "I WILL KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP."

Totally legitimate making-fun-of territory.

(Three days and still going strong!!)

It is more than a little likely that Mr. Brandow did not INTEND to "pose" in the manner captured by the photographer. Indeed, such an assumption necessarily follows such a terrible photo.

Making fun of a result Brandow did not intend, and, apparently, was powerless to alter, is now and ever shall be: CRUEL.

Dear 10:48:

I would definitely hire this guy. Imagine sitting opposite this face at a deposition? Opposing counsel would wet his pants, or at least be unable to concentrate.

HEY! All you lame assholes shut the fuck up! I looked at the picture. He doesn't look blind and I initially thought, "Hey! He might scare the other attorney." Then I read his bio. Life sucks: he seems to specialize in workman's comp cases. Which means that he probably doesn't handle stuff I'd need help with. Still, he seems to be real good at what he does. If I needed help with that stuff, he'd be a likely candidate. And with that stare he probably would un-nerve the other lawyers. More power to him.

lol

I know this guy. He is not blind.

Google Image Search, of "thyroid eye disease" does turn up a lot of pictures which resemble this one, so it's possible that Brandow is indeed afflicted.

However, if he doesn't photograph well, why put his picture on the firm web site at all? Is there some Illinois law requiring them to do so?