Harvard, Jews, Weddings

Legal Eagle Wedding Watch 5.27: Pierced Through the Heart

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LEWW is delighted to bring you the first all-Jewish edition of Legal Eagle Wedding Watch! The MOT really represented this week. Mazel Tov to all the happy couples and their proud parents!
Here are the finalists:

1. Rebecca Kristol and Elliot Silver
2. Talia Milgrom-Elcott and Aaron Dorfman
3. Lisa Gordon and Michael Kanner

More about these couples, after the jump.

1. Rebecca Kristol and Elliot Silver
(Buy them a cake pan.)
The Case:
– Rebecca and Elliot graduated from Duke, where they met. Elliot went on to law school at NYU, while Rebecca went to work as a web designer in New York.
– The father of the bride is none other than pundit, publisher, and neoconservative luminary Bill Kristol (That makes Rebecca the granddaughter of Irving Kristol and Gertrude Himmelfarb).
– Elliot’s parents are no less impressive: His mother is a doctor and professor of medicine at Cornell, and his father is a psychiatrist at NYU.
– Rebecca and Elliot could pass for high school sophomores, but you can also squint at them and picture how they’re going to look in about 40 years. LEWW pronounces them super-cute and predicts they will be adorable grandparents!
The Case Against:
– Why does Elliot have his back turned toward Rebecca? Taking a cue from US Magazine, LEWW consulted some body-language experts, who revealed that this is bloody poor engagement-photo-positioning: “Everyone knows that the woman should be turned toward the camera, wearing a self-satisfied smile, while the groom should be angled toward her, protectively but with a faint suggestion of supplication.”
– Elliot is starting at Skadden this fall. Yawn.

2. Talia Milgrom-Elcott and Aaron Dorfman
(Buy them a stand mixer.)
The Case:
– The bride was magna at both Harvard and Harvard Law. The groom graduated from the University of Wisconsin and got a public policy degree at Harvard. (Three degrees from Harvard — we smell a winner!)
– Talia now works at the Carnegie Corporation of New York, making grants to nonprofits; Aaron is director of education at American Jewish World Service (where his father-in-law is a board member).
The Case Against:
– These two were set up by Talia’s dad after Talia expressed a desire for someone “edgier” than the “nice, Ivy-educated lawyers” she was meeting. Here’s how Mr. Elcott pitched Aaron to his daughter: “He’s edgy. He’s pierced in three places that I can see.” Oy vey! Need we detail all the ways in which this is pathetic? No matter where you pierce him, Aaron has a public policy degree from Harvard, for Christ’s Pete’s sake. Unless he’s subsequently done prison time, he fails the edgy test. And look at their picture — these two score maybe a .75 on the edge-meter. (Also, we can’t see any piercings. Where was Mr. Elcott looking?)

3. Lisa Gordon and Michael Kanner
(Buy them a nut chopper.)
The Case:
– Lisa graduated summa from Penn and also received her JD there. She’s now an assistant general counsel for Hadassah, the Women’s Zionist Organization of America. Michael graduated from the University of Wisconsin and works in advertising for CSTV, which covers college sports.
– Fifty years ago in Brooklyn, Michael’s grandfather treated Lisa’s mother for chicken pox. Very sweet. They were probably hoping to make the Vows column with that story, but no dice. (It went to an Oscar-winning screenwriter and a socialite named Minnie.)
The Case Against:
– Michael’s father and grandfather were both doctors; he’s dropped the Jewish-heritage ball in a major way with this sports-advertising stuff.
– They’re both 30? Seriously? He’s swarthily ageless, but we’d have guessed about 45; Lisa looks like a very attractive, “well-preserved” 40. Bad lighting?
The Verdict:
Normally, the three Harvard degrees would propel Team Milgrom-Elcott-Dorfman to victory, but LEWW is muy unimpressed by that “edgy” nonsense. We’re going to take the opportunity to suck up to the neocon conspiracy by naming Team Kristol-Silver our Legal-Eagle Couple of the Week! Congratulations, Rebecca and Elliot!

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