A Classic Kozinski Benchslap
In his dissent today from a order denying rehearing en banc in the case of United States v. Ziegler, Kozinski basically calls the rest of the panel morons, or at least hack magicians. The best part is this paragraph:
By plucking consent out of its judicial top hat, when neither party has argued it and the district court made no findings to support it, the panel gives the unfortunate impression that it is seeking to vindicate a result it has reached on other (nowrepudiated) grounds. It is not our business to reach particular results, nor may we jiggle the rules of procedure to achieve an outcome we prefer. Our responsibility is to apply the law in an objective and impartial manner, and let the chips fall where they may. Here, the government lost the one issue on which it chose to make its stand—Ziegler’s expectation of privacy in his own office. At that point it was our responsibility to reverse the district court and vacate the defendant’s sentence. Appellate review is not a magic wand and we undermine public confidence in the judicial process when we make it look like it is.
But he basically rips the panel a new one throughout the dissent.
Access the entire opinion here.
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Can a dissenting judge deliver a "bench slap" to the court majority? I always figured that a "bench slap," like a b*tch-slap, could only be delivered by a position in power to, well, a b*tch. Sounds to me like Kozinski was the b*tch this time around- maybe a b*tch who walks away with a couple of wry witticisms, but a b*tch all the same.
(Almost wore out the asterisk key on that one.)
Good point, 3:41.
Also, sometimes I pick flakes of dandruff out of my hair and eat them.
Ok, I've criticized the grammar police on here before, but come on:
"a order"? *A* order? Merck, read it out loud next time, see if it sounds right.
Why do people hate Billy Merck? Who is he? Is he a blogger, too? What's the deal?
Love me! Please!
I just want to make clear that I am fine with Billy Merck, but writing "a" next to words that start with vowels flips my OCD alarm.
So that's more on me than him i guess.
--3:47
Seriously, Merck, stop trying to use Lat's cool-kid words when you obviously don't understand what they mean.
3:41,
Since when can we not say bitch in here?
What Kozinski really needs is some new glasses - those ones make him look like a special needs boy.
Seriously, what's with the Merck hatred? Why do people hate him so much?
4:25 - since Merck didn't go to a top-tier school, and of course EVERYONE who anonymously posts here in the comment graduated from either Harvard or Yale, they find it makes them feel superior to make fun of him.
Also he is not Lat, who all the boys have secret gay crushes on.
Also, apparently he is fat, which clears the way for a merciless but guilt-free assault by all those with free-floating hatred to dispense.
Merck makes fun of people with disabilities
4:25: Because we can. Because we can.
Ralbylove--love yourself, then others will love you.
What a tool!
When Kozinski writes them, they are called 'cert petitions'.
homey the clown strikes again.
Lots of people are also jealous of Merck because he is friends with Lat and they don't have friends from Harvard/YLS and/or Wachtell.
Well, 6:28, a big difference is that here Kozinski is with the *liberal* block on this one. the conservative and moderate-conservatives were in the majority, whereas all the liberals + Kozinski joined the W. Fletcher dissent, and Kozinski wrote his own in addition.
Illusions, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money. (sees kids listening) And candy!
The poster by the name of “Ralbylove” is in no way associated with the individual named Ian M. Ralby, but is instead an alias created without the consent of Mr. Ralby.