The X-Summers: What If the Katten Kreep Met Aquagirl?
Yesterday we wrote about a former summer associate in the Chicago office of Katten Muchin Rosenman. He was fired earlier this month, after he allegedly (1) made racially insensitive remarks and (2) engaged in inappropriate physical contact with female summer associates.
With respect to the first allegation, it’s claimed that he first made a racist comment to another summer associate. When she got angry, he supposedly told her he liked “angry black women.”
(Hmm… What’s he doing for the rest of the summer? We hear that Shanetta Cutlar is hiring.)
With respect to the second allegation, it’s claimed that the ex-SA “repeatedly smack[ed] the asses of female summers” or “play[ed] grab ass with female summers.” What was he thinking? This is obviously unacceptable.
(Silly summer. Ass-grabbing is for partners!)
Read the rest, after the jump.
Now, as we explained yesterday, this is the kinder, gentler ATL. We have no intention of naming this summer associate. We’ll also delete any comments that name him or speculate as to his identity.
But this gives rise to a dilemma: How shall we refer to him? The “Katten Kreep” is serviceable, but surely we can come up with a more colorful nickname — ideally, a superhero nickname.
Kneel, former Katten summer. By the powers invested in us, we hereby dub thee: The Rumpshaker.
Former summer associates are like superheroes. Sure, they’re fantastic as individuals. But when they join forces, like the X-Men — that’s why we call them the X-Summers — they’re even more powerful!
Imagine a meeting between The Rumpshaker and Aquagirl. He grabs her toned swimmer’s ass — which, to him, is the equivalent of a handshake (hence the nickname).
The Rumpshaker and Aquagirl are now in physical contact. Together they exclaim: “Wonder twin powers, activate!”
The Rumpshaker says: “Form of… the Hudson River!” Aquagirl says: “Form of… A giant, ass-shaped raft!”
And together they make their great escape from Biglaw, leaving others to draft Asset Purchase Agreements and review document dumps. Later, suckas!!!
Earlier: Summer Associate of the Day: The Katten Kreep
The X-Summers: Submissions, Please
(33) Comments
Comments
first
lat...are you bored?
But Aquagirl hasn't made her escape from Biglaw. According to the Observer, she's going to A&P in DC:
http://www.nyobserver.com/2007/my-very-special-summer
Is this "kinder, gentler" policy the reason you've stopped profiling SCOTUS clerks for us, Lat? You can be kinder and gentler and still stay true to your roots.
He's trying to include a lot of news so as to make it seem that there is not enough time/rooom to write about the XO hacker.
Lat must be really bored.
He's trying to include a lot of news so as to make it seem that there is not enough time/rooom to write about the XO hacker.
What is the story of the XO hacker?
Why should those of us who don't visit XO care?
Lat, you're lame. I'm now an X-ATL reader.
seriously, someone just post a summary of the latest xoxo drama.
1:30: Bye bye, I'm sure you'll be missed, now the site will go bankrupt.
(If you respond to this comment, it means that you didn't live up to your promise to stop reading.)
Lat, what are you smoking today?
My ex works at Katten.....she is hot but thick as two short planks. She makes about $8000 a month after taxes and spends $4000 of month on renting a swanky 1 bedroom. what an idiot.
Lame
Every now and then, Lat goes a little insane (last link):
http://gawker.com/news/blogorrhea/blogorrhea-nyc-well-they-got-the-often-part-right-206233.php
Also, today is Friday.
Lat, Lat, Lat -- if you're going to have a pic of the Wonder Twins, make it the COOL one! ;-)
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a6/Wondertwinsross.jpg
Rumpshaker is cool, but I think in this context "Ass Man" does the job better.
All in favor?
Rumpshaker?
booooooo!
Who made Lat the guy who gets to bestow nicknames on people?
My vote would have been for Racist McRoosterfingers, but I guess my opinion doesn't count.
We need some process here: a comment period, and then a click-poll... something. Anything so that I don't have to refer to anybody as the Rumpshaker.
Rumpshaker? FAIL.
2:12 - Yeah, because [name] Mc[name] is so fresh.
2:17
Shut up Crabby McCrabbypants. :-P
And still better than Rumpshaker.
Combine bigot and octopus for "the Bigotopus"
I sense a poll coming.
what's going on at XO? Someone please explain. No need to name names.
Or, we could combine a Michael Richards character with a Michael Richards real life tirade, and the Katten summer could be, "Kosmo Katten - "The Ass Man"
(Thanks to 2:04, the name namer, for the suggestion.)
this is lame -- is this a slow news day, Lat? Why don't you tell us what is going on at XO?
Check the IP addresses, Lat. I bet all the requests for coverage of XO come from the same person (posting under different names). Nobody gives a rat's ass about that TTT (to use XO terminology).
2:17/2:20 -
Why not try [witty name #1] O'[witty name #2] for a change of pace.
Racist McRoosterfingers to 190!!!!!!
"Who made Lat the guy who gets to bestow nicknames on people?"
Uh, the thousands of people who read his blog every day...
I'm not sure why the "Katten Kreep" can't be a superhero name. I'm kind of partial to it.
Rumpshaker's lame. Sounds like a goffball name for a someone who did something related to dancing. Rumpshaker to Loyola.
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