Bad Ideas, Biglaw, Oral Sex / Blow Jobs, Sex Scandals, Summer Associates

X-Summers: Loose Lips Sink Ships Offers

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Can you wear white after Labor Day? Or drink a gin and tonic? Or tell a summer associate story?
August is almost over, and our series of SA stories is winding to a close. If you have an anecdote to share, please review our submission guidelines, and then email us.
1. Superhero name: Loose Lips
2. Special power(s): Ability to broadcast his sexual misadventures from coast to coast — in the pre-internet age.
3. Summered: A Los Angeles Biglaw firm, summer 1988. (As we’ve said before, we’re happy to post old stories; this is a “greatest hits” compilation.)
4. Claim to fame: From our tipster:

“Two summers from top-10 east coast schools, one female, one male, were working at the main office of an LA Biglaw firm. The firm had just installed an elaborate door-locking system. When the office door was locked, a red ‘Do Not Disturb’ light appeared outside the office. An unlocked office, door closed or open, had a green light.”

“Late in the day, after the support staff had left, these two associates slipped into the office of one of them. (They had private or semi-private offices.) After they closed (but didn’t lock) the door, the female associate began pleasuring the male associate.”

“A senior associate, seeing the green light, walked into the office — and got an eyeful.”

Learn the fate of our star-crossed lovers hook-up participants, after the jump.


5. What happened to them:

“They were both told that if they did not speak of the incident, it would not affect their chances of getting an offer. But the next day, the phone lines on the East Coast were burning up. By the end of the day, 99% of the 3Ls in the two schools heard the story and knew the names of both parties.”

“The blabbermouth was male; he didn’t get an offer. The female summer did. She has gone on to a brilliant career in a different city.”

Moral of the story: Loose lips sink offers, while tight lips spell career success.
This episode does raise a profound question that has recurred throughout U.S. history: How much trouble is a BJ worth?
Is it worth going down (hehe) in history as the second president to be impeached? Is it worth two years in prison?
Lawyerly answer: “It depends” (on how skillfully it’s administered).
P.S. This story may be ancient, but the usual rules still apply. Please do NOT name these former SAs, or speculate about their identity, in the comments. Thanks.
Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of summer associates (scroll down)

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