At large law firms around the country, summer associate programs are nearing their end. But we still have a decent supply of summer associate stories. If you can add to our cache, please review our submission guidelines, and then email us.
This latest SA tale is, like that of Aquagirl or Jonas Blank, something of a classic. As a result, most of you have probably heard it already. But for those of you who haven’t, here it is:
1. Superhero name: The IncrediPaul(Hastings) Hulk
2. Special power: Ability to transform from a mild-mannered South Asian fellow into a raging, belligerent a**hole — with the aid of just a few drinks.
3. Summered: Paul Hastings, Los Angeles, summer 2006.
4. Claim to fame: This narrative is a bit lengthy — but it’s worth it. Check it out, after the jump.
Here’s a contemporaneous account, from an email that made the rounds last summer:
So they were having a firm sponsored happy hour. You know the drill.
One of the summer associates apparently got out-of-his-gourd wasted. He goes to [redacted law school] (figures), and he was reported to be a very quiet and polite Indian guy. Not this night though.
A very well-liked senior associate was there with his pretty, blonde fiance. The summer associate starts to say, really loudly and angrily, [that] he would like to f**k her. Everyone around, including the associate, can hear this. [The summer associate] keeps going, despite people trying to shut him up, and is extremely vulgar and profane.
Eventually the associate whose fiancee this is comes up to [the SA] and tells him that he understands that he is drunk, but he should really just keep it down, because he’s making a scene. Very nice way of dealing with the situation, considering.
Instead of shutting up at this point, the summer associate goes off. Things along the lines of “You don’t f***ing know me, you f***er!!!”
And he apparently threatened to stab the associate. YEAH.
5. What happened to him: Gee, whaddya THINK happened to him?
“[T]he next day he has the balls to show up at work, only to find that his desk has been cleared out, his carpets all freshly vacuumed, etc. Done for.”
“I’ve heard of people not getting offers, but never straight-up fired in the middle of the summer. Can you imagine? How will he ever work again? He’s going to have to become a solo practitioner in Oklahoma…”
We don’t wish to impair this individual’s chances of working again, whether in Oklahoma or elsewhere. So the usual rules apply: please do NOT name this former SA, or speculate about his identity, in the comments. Thanks.
Update: If you can fill us in on the current employment status of this former summer associate, please email us (subject line: “Paul Hastings SA”). Thanks.
Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of summer associates (scroll down)