Earlier this week, we explained why you shouldn’t file gay pornography with Judge Adalberto Jordan. No word on whether straight porn is okay with His Honor.

It seems we’re not the only ones with porn on the mind. Check out the the links collected below. In the past day or two, smut has been a major theme in the legal news and blogosphere.

What’s going on? Why is everyone feeling so frisky as of late?

A Prosecution Tests the Definition of Obscenity [New York Times]
Lawyer Admits Destroying Evidence of Pornography [New York Times]
The Origins of Justice Stewart’s “I Know It When I See It” [WSJ Law Blog]
How to make a federal judge really angry [Southern District of Florida Blog]

Earlier: ATL Practice Pointers: Do Not File Gay Porn With Judge Jordan

* Ann Althouse on the Chelsea Clinton restaurant photo controversy from earlier this week: “‘We reserve the right to exercise any and all options available to us.’ What kind of crap is that?” [Althouse]

* Our apologies to Brian Dalton of Vault for the snark from earlier today. How were we to know that a New York Times reporter would screw up a quote so badly? [Void for Vagueness]

* During a little over a year at Patterson Belknap, Michael Mukasey apparently earned about $1.9 million. And he wants to be AG to a lame-duck president, for a little over a year, because… [Bloomberg News via WSJ Law Blog]

* Congratulations to Hofstra on its #1 status! (Among tier 3 and tier 4 faculties.) [TaxProf Blog]

* John Carney argues that SEC chairman Chris Cox should reject the new proposed proxy access rule, which would actually harm ordinary investors. That Carney, he’s so contrarian. [DealBreaker]

* Are you a young lawyer looking for financial advice? Check this out. [WSJ Law Blog]

Courtesy of ATL’s career partner, Lateral Link, here is the latest Job of the Week:

Company: Osiris Therapeutics, Inc. (Columbia, Maryland)

Position Description: The medical care company, which commercializes products from adult bone marrow, seeks a Chief Intellectual Property Counsel to work in Columbia, Maryland. As the successful candidate will manage the company’s IP-related matters, the position requires 6+ years of experience, with a law firm and/or biotechnology corporate environment; a scientific background, preferably a Ph.D. in a biological or chemical field; admission to a State bar and the U.S. Patent & Trademark office; and experience with preparation and prosecution of patents (U.S. and foreign).

Location: Columbia, Maryland

Earlier: Prior Job of the Week listings (scroll down)

This email exchange is rapidly making the rounds. It doesn’t rise to the level of Dianna Abdala, but it’s not bad — and perfectly suitable for a slow Friday afternoon.

The tipster who sent it to us introduced it as follows:

This is pretty funny. It goes to show you that tier four students are just as entitled and obnoxious as their tier one counterparts!

Here’s the first email, from a student at Wayne State University Law School (who shall remain nameless; please keep him that way):

From: [redacted]
Sent: Friday, September 21, 2007 9:05 AM
To: [Partner at four-person law firm]
Subject: Interview?

Sir, let me begin by noting that I understand your time is very valuable
and I anticipate that your work day is very hectic. However, my time is
valuable to me and sitting at the interview location waiting for you has
resulted in a fantastic waste of a potentially productive Friday
morning.

I was very interested in your firm. I believe that there are many ways
of becoming a good lawyer, and felt that employment at your firm would
be one of them. Though I find myself being pushed in the direction of
the large firms as a result of my grades, I had high hopes that getting
involved in a smaller and yet equally productive camp would be the best
fit for me. Sadly, it seems that I will not find out if my suspicions
were correct.

I realize I am just an naive law student in your eyes but I assure you
sir that a day will come when I command a level of respect that would
make [sic] idea of standing me up unimaginable. As I was your first interview
this morning I feel that a phone call was in order from your end. Good
luck with the rest of your interviews.

Sincerely,
[redacted]

Right now you might be thinking, “Good for you, Wayne State Guy! Just because you go to a Tier Four doesn’t mean you can be jerked around.”

But the truth turns out to be more complex. Read the partner’s response, after the jump.

We’ve been having a lot of fun with Non-Top-Tier Law School Week here at ATL. So we’re extending it, to include all of next week. As we mentioned before, if you have a story idea that fits under this theme, please email us.

As part of this special celebration, each day we’re going to highlight a successful non-top-tier law school graduate, and honor this person as our Non-Top-Tier Law School Graduate of the Day.

Here is today’s winner:

Name: Eric M. Krautheimer

Law School: Western New England College School of Law, 1993

Current Position: Partner, Mergers & Acquisitions, Sullivan & Cromwell

Why He’s Our Winner: Eric Krautheimer is a partner at S&C, one of the world’s most prestigious and profitable law firms. In 2006, profits per partner at S&C clocked in at $2.82 million. Innumerable Harvard-Yale-Stanford grads would KILL to be in his shoes.

The best part of his job: (allegedly) ordering a prissy little Columbia boy to “bend over” and take it (where “it” = a corporate document).

Talk about living the non-top-tier dream!

How have we not heard of her before? She’s fabulous! And for reasons that will soon become obvious, a Pennsylvania state court jurist, Luzerne County Judge Ann Lokuta, is today’s Judge of the Day.

From the Citizens Voice:

A former intern of Luzerne County Judge Ann Lokuta testified tonight the jurist called her a tramp for wearing a sleeveless shirt to work.

Rebecca Sammon took the stand in Lokuta’s misconduct trial and described another incident where Lokuta yelled at her for being nice on the phone.

Awesome. And there’s more:

Prothonotory Jill Moran testified lawyers got yelled at for clicking pens or writing too loudly in Lokuta’s courtroom. Prothonotary clerk Maura Cusick said Lokuta was either a good judge or a wicked judge.

A dichotomy couldn’t be more false: a wicked judge IS a good judge. The Honorable Ann Lokuta is a delicious judicial diva.

[Ed. note: Yes, we just learned what “prothonotary” means too. See here.]

More obscure terms for judicial staff members, after the jump.

Our last open thread on year-end bonuses, focused on San Francisco, generated a healthy number of comments. Like this one:

Where’s the TEXAS bonus thread? Texas is definitely ahead of SF/SV when it comes to biglaw. With the various carpetbagger firms paying NY bonuses and the Bigtex firms paying anywhere from nothing to 80k, I think Texas deserves some discussion.

We’re not going to get involved in the pissing contest. But we’re happy to provide you with this post, in which you can discuss and speculate about law firm bonuses in TEXAS. Enjoy.

Earlier: Year-end bonus open threads for New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Boston, San Francisco, and Washington, DC.

Ed. notes: First, B. Clerker is unavailable this morning, so we’re doing Morning Docket ourselves. Second, by the time you read this, we’ll be attending this event. But we’ve arranged for previously written posts (like this one) to be published in our absence.

* John Edwards tries to put a noble spin on the financial desperation of his flailing campaign. Stick a fork in him; he’s done. [WP; NYT]

* Jena One released on bail. [AP]

* Fourteen “high-value” terrorism suspects will be allowed to request lawyers. KSM will use his to sue Teleflex. [WP]

* In Pakistan, the Supreme Court gets involved in elections too. From the gallery: “Go, Musharraf, go!” [AP via WP]

* Set your TiVo, judicial groupies: Justice Thomas will be on 60 Minutes this Sunday. Thankfully, his interview — in which he’s rumored to call Anita Hill “a nappy-headed ho” — doesn”t conflict with the season premiere of Desperate Housewives. [WSJ Law Blog]

This morning’s New York Times has a painfully earnest article about law firm recruiting videos. It’s not a particularly juicy piece; they should have called us for comment (‘cause we “give good quote”).

But it’s still neat to see Biglaw getting a shout-out in the NYT. Here’s the lede:

Law firms have discovered YouTube.

Well, actually, they have discovered that the law students they are trying to recruit as summer associates watch YouTube, the popular video Web site.

Several firms are trying to parlay that discovery into a hiring tool, creating recruiting videos and Web sites with the look and feel of YouTube. The firms hope to persuade students that their lawyers, and by extension the firms, are young-thinking and hip.

Okay, that didn’t say anything that ATL readers don’t already know. We weren’t surprised to see the byline of crack reporter Karen Donovan, author of that publicist-generated puff piece Pulitzer-worthy profile of Gallion & Spielvogel.

But the article gets a little better as it goes along. More after the jump.

So LEWW was at a wedding the other weekend, and who should plunk down next to us but a reporter for the NYT Vows section! It was a deeply emotional, humbling experience — like being face-to-face with Gandhi, or Bono — but after we recovered, we waved our ATL press credentials and had a nice chat with the correspondent.

Turns out it was her first Vows column, so we briefed her on the most basic rules of Vows column writing: Make sure you refer to the bride, groom, or both as “honest,” “courageous,” “spirited,” or “down-to-earth,” etc., and definitely include at least one forced simile (“as white as a sun-bleached seashell” is good; “as grounded and unshakable as a redwood” is a two-fer!).

We can’t wait to read about that wedding in this coming weekend’s NYT, but in the meantime, we have two weeks worth of LEWW to catch you up on. Here are our featured couples:

1.) Kate Edmonds and Alex Donner

2.) Denise Delgado and Keith Kerman

3.) Fell Ogden and Charles Gray Jr.

4.) Daisy Wademan and Luc Dowling

5.) Deecy Gray and Douglas Ginsburg

6.) Aielleen Fajardo and Stefan Schick

More about these couples, after the jump.

Over the past few months, a number of you have written to us about A Lawyer Walks Into a Bar. It’s a critically acclaimed, independent documentary film about lawyers and the legal profession.

The movie made the rounds on the film festival circuit earlier this year, and now it’s out on DVD. Here’s a brief synopsis:

A Lawyer Walks Into a Bar… is a celebration of the law and triumph over adversity that follows 6 future lawyers of all ages and backgrounds as they undertake the rigorous and excruciating California Bar Exam while also dealing thematically with certain hot button issues in our profession. The [themes of the film] include, among other things, stress, big firm economics, substance abuse, law as a calling, frivolous litigation, bar exam economics, women in the law and other threads that you can likely intuit.

These subjects are all near and dear to the hearts of ATL readers. And there’s stuff in the film that ties into this week’s special theme, non-top-tier law school graduates:

The cast members run the gamut, from a former Marine who has taken and failed the California Bar Exam 41 times, to top and middle graduates of the Loyola and UCLA Law Schools, to a Latina activist from East L.A. who attended a non-accredited law school, to other diverse and interesting people.

Sadly, the film was produced before the rise to fame of Loyola 2L. But it features other legal celebrities, such as Alan Dershowitz, Scott Turow, and Nancy Grace — all of whom appear in this short clip:

Some of our favorite films are documentaries — e.g., Spellbound, Capturing the Friedmans — and some of our favorite people are lawyers. We haven’t seen A Lawyer Walks Into a Bar yet, but we intend to; it looks like it’s right up our alley. Exciting stuff!

A Lawyer Walks Into a Bar [official website]
A Lawyer Walks Into a Bar [trailer]
A Lawyer Walks Into A Bar [Amazon]

Oooh boy. What is it about jurists with the surname “Thomas”?

More lurid allegations are being made against Judge Herman Thomas, the Alabama state court judge who allegedly likes to spank male prisoners. From the Mobile Press-Register:

In affidavits filed in support of Michael Dewayne Anderson’s 2003 federal suit against Mobile County Circuit Judge Herman Thomas, three men made similar accusations about Thomas.

John Richardson said he saw Thomas “constantly” driving up his block to pick up a neighbor. That neighbor, Richardson said, “told me that as long as he plays the sex game with Judge Thomas, he wouldn’t have to worry about staying in jail.”

Nathaniel Agee said Thomas “inflicted burden and humiliation in my life.”

“Herman and I started off going fishing together, hanging out together. He would even drop by my house early some morning(s), and say he wanted to talk.”

Brokeback Pond? Apparently so:

Thomas increased the visits to his home, Agee said, “but when he found out my children were there, he started to become angry because we couldn’t be alone with each other. I tried to explain to Judge Thomas that it was all right to be friends and hang out, but I’m not into sexual relationships with a man.”

The funny and talented Jolene Roxbury, the ex-paralegal turned comedian and singer, has dedicated another song to Judge Thomas: You Bring the Paddle.

Check it out here. For more about Jolene, see her website. Delightful stuff — thanks, Jolene!

Claims Against Judge Thomas [Mobile Press-Register]
Jolene Roxbury: Certified Verbal Conversationalist

Earlier: Prior ATL coverage of Judge Herman Thomas (scroll down)

Okay, so you didn’t graduate (1) from a top-tier law school or (2) at the top of your class from a non-top-tier law school. Please don’t get discouraged, even in the face of depressing news articles.

Before you leave the law to become an electrician, consider this inspirational tale, from an ATL reader:

Finding a job after graduating from a lower tier law school might be harder, but it is certainly possible. A lot of it depends on what type of job you wish to pursue. Knowing I wanted to practice in a law firm who actually tried cases, throughout law school I worked for several small firms and solo practices and gained experience.

The summer studying for the bar I found a part time clerkship with an attorney who practices business litigation. After the bar exam he offered me a position full time. I don’t make anywhere near the big firms in terms of salary. But I make plenty for my first year out, and I get a percentage of our contingent fee cases (which will actually put me a little less than big firm salary if all goes well).

Also, I get great experience. My first week I attended two hearings on motions for summary judgment in court, and a month after I pass the bar (hopefully!) I already have an assignment to participate directly in a trial. The salary is not “equal”, but I feel I am gaining better experience and enjoying my quality of life much more than if I was in a mega firm.

Good stuff — and a reminder that Biglaw isn’t the be all and end all of legal practice.

Also, we have a question about working as a paralegal, from a different reader. Check it out, after the jump.

We previously wrote about the mysterious leave of absence taken by Judge Samuel B. Kent (S.D. Tex.). It now appears that part of the mystery has been revealed. From the Galveston Daily News:

In the months before U.S. District Judge Samuel Kent was temporarily relieved of his duties, an employee of the court filed a sexual harassment complaint against him, sources have told The Daily News. The sources refused to be identified in speaking about a complaint that court officials have ordered to be kept confidential.

A sexual harassment complaint? You know what that means: elevation. Hello, Justice Thomas!

If you have any details about the allegations against Judge Kent, please email us. Thanks.

Sources: Judge took leave after complaint [Galveston Daily News]

Earlier: Musical Chairs: Federal Judges Fleeing the Bench?

We should have written about this earlier — in fact, weeks earlier, since it has been up since early August. But sometimes things fall through the cracks, emails get caught in our spam filter, etc. Anyway, better late than never.

From a helpful reader:

check out this blog. it’s sort of a one trick pony, but its good for a laugh and is pretty out there. as a wlrk alum, figured you would get a kick out of it. thanks.

We agree — it’s funny and bizarre. From the inaugural post of The Poison Pill:

This blog is devoted to our hero and idol, corporate law phenom Martin Lipton. Mr. Lipton, name partner in the prestigious and venerable firm Wachtell Lipton Rosen & Katz, has been practicing law since the mid-1960’s after he graduated from NYU law school, and is considered by most in the industry to be the “dean” of the M&A bar. This legendary advocate is most famous in legal circles for inventing the “poison pill,” a takeover defense now used by virtually all public companies to delay and deter hostile tender offers and other solicited acquisitions.

That’s right, you heard me—not only is Mr. Lipton a skilled and accomplished lawyer, he is an inventor as well. We also hear that he is a marvelous ballroom dancer, but have yet to receive confirmation on this point.

You can read the rest of the post over here.

Could this blog turn into the Biglaw equivalent of the Fake Steve Jobs blog, which developed into a sensation of the business world? Stay tuned.

The Poison Pill

Our recent post about contract attorney work, part of Non-Top-Tier Law School Week here at ATL, generated almost 200 comments. We’re happy to report that we have more for you on that front.

Here’s a question from a contract attorney reader:

I’ve done some contract attorney work (doc review, ick) in the past and have been offered jobs that pay a flat fee of $35-$45 an hour, but want 60 to 80 hours a week.

The Fair Labor Standards Act seems to say that professionals (attorneys) are only exempt from OT pay when they’re salaried. We contract attorneys, obviously, don’t fall within that category. It also seems to say that it’s illegal for an employer to make an employee waive that right to overtime pay.

Any idea why it is that so many major law firms can hire contract staff for flat rates and make them work overtime without OT pay?

More after the jump.

Following up on our recent coverage of changes to the salary and benefit schemes for federal law clerks, here’s an interesting article from the Daily Business Review:

Federal judges around the country will feel the belt-tightening that has cut into other areas of the judiciary in a rule change that limits their ability to hire permanent, career law clerks, rather than cheaper, fresh from school, term clerks.

The cost-containment move, approved Sept. 18 by the judiciary’s 27-member policy body, the Judicial Conference of the United States, is predicted to save tens of millions of dollars in salary costs over the next decade, according to an internal report by the Committee on Judicial Resources.

Discussion picks up after the jump.

We met Chelsea Clinton at a wedding once. She wasn’t super-friendly; in fact, she was downright standoffish. She gave off this aloof, “stay away starf**kers” sort of vibe.

Chilly Chelsea couldn’t be more different from her gregarious parents, whom we’ve had the pleasure of meeting. Bill and Hillary Clinton are friendly and down-to-earth, despite being far more recognizable than even their famous daughter.

(Yeah, we know, they’re politicians and she’s an ordinary citizen. But that doesn’t means she can’t be nice to people.)

Based on our firsthand experience with Chelsea Clinton — and it was an overseas wedding, so we were actually in her presence for several days — we weren’t that surprised to read this story. From WCBSTV:

A celebrity photo has led a former president to send a threatening letter to a Manhattan restaurant owner.

President Bill Clinton has demanded that the owner of Greenwich Village restaurant Osso Buco remove a picture of his daughter Chelsea that’s been gracing the walls of the family-style Italian eatery, alongside other celebrity photographs.

Owner Nino Selimaj tells CBS 2 that the picture has been up for years and has never posed a problem until now.

What’s the big deal? Such pictures are commonplace in restaurants of a certain type, and they’re all over the place at Osso Buco — placing Chelsea on notice, when she posed for the photo, that it might be hung on the wall.

More after the jump.

We received this information from a tipster last night, and a firm spokesperson confirmed it for us this morning. Here it is:

Patton Boggs just raised starting salaries to 160,000 for first years for 1950 billable hours. This is a 50 hour bump and a $15,000 bump. They also introduced a new 1800 billable track that is full-time, but paid on a lower scale (obviously).

No memo yet. The full scale closely approximates the Hogan & Hartson scale and caps out at $280,000. Still a 100 hour/year pro bono requirement.

So does anyone know what the DC List of Shame now looks like? Feel free to post it in the comments.

Also, are you aware of any recent pay raise news that we haven’t covered in these pages? If so, please email us. Thanks.

* Secret search provisions of Patriot Act ruled unconstitutional violations of 4th Amendment, in the case of an Oregon attorney who was mistakenly linked to bombings. [NYT; CNN]

* Larry Craig will remain in Senate until judge rules on his motion to withdraw his guilty plea. [WP; NYT]

* Mistrial for Spector after jury deadlock. [CNN]

* Bro tasered her. [CNN]

* Ohio and Florida pass voting laws that could make vote caging easier in 2008. [McClatchy]

* Royal Bank of Canada sues Michael Vick over $2.5m loan. [MSNBC]

* Harvard med student gets extra exam time for nursing. [WSJ Law Blog]

When it comes to knowing how to make proper court filings, don’t bother with the FRCP, or even the local rules. Just read ATL.

We tell you everything you need to know. E.g., don’t file an egg with Judge James Muirhead (D.N.H.).

And don’t file gay pornography with Judge Adalberto Jordan (S.D. Fla.). From GamePolitics.com:

That gurgling sound you hear could be Jack Thompson’s legal career swirling down the ‘loo.

The frequent video game critic, already facing professional misconduct charges from the Florida Bar which could see him stripped of his license to practice law, has outraged a U.S. District Court judge by including images of men having sex in a document filed with the court last week.

What was he thinking? And no, the gay porn was not essential to the case (as it might have been in, say, an obscenity prosecution arising out of said porn).

More details — if you want them — after the jump.

This story is a few hours old, but we heard about it just now. From a tipster at St. John’s University Law School, in Jamaica, Queens:

If you haven’t already heard — nearly the entire law school has been stuck in the school since a gunman was apprehended at 2:30 this afternoon. Seeing as how you are dedicating this week to second-tier law schools, we thought you could highlight the incident for us.

Sure! In light of how we covered the recent, mysterious passing of a Yale Law School student, of course we’ll cover an incident presenting a serious public safety issue at St. John’s.

So consider this post a shout-out to all ATL readers at St. John’s — especially the hotties. We hope that you are safe and doing well (and not too bored, despite being trapped inside the school building).

It appears that the situation is under control. From our tipster:

I think the law school staff has been doing a superb job of keeping everyone calm and providing us with information as it becomes available.

Update (6:10 PM): From a second source at the school:

They caught one person on the way to the school president’s office wearing a black mask and carrying a rifle in a duffel bag, and are still looking for a second gunman. No shots were fired and no one was hurt from what I have heard. The whole campus has been on lockdown for the last few hours, but I think they are evacuating the campus as we speak.

You can read about the latest developments in this story over at WABC.

St. John’s University student found with weapon [ABC7.com]

* Crazy pro se lawsuit against Google, seeking $5 billion in damages, touches upon the war on terror and a Burton snowboard. And no, it wasn’t filed by Jonathan Lee Riches. [TechDirt]

* A misdemeanor count of cruelty to animals? Guess he wasn’t that good. [Denver Channel]

* Law professors get their academic gowns in a wad over the gender divide in faculty hiring. [TaxProf Blog]

* Dewey LeBoeuf? Already done it. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Debevoise & Plimpton lords it over the competition. [Times of London]

Here are some of the comments appended to our recent post about Gibson Dunn’s snazzy new website:

“I like the pictures on the main directory. Those are the best part. Except that they don’t have too many women, and one of the women is in a very high school girl peek-a-boo around the brick wall pose. They’d never put up a picture of a man doing that.”

“I agree… Shame on you, peek-a-boo posing Asian woman!”

“Uh, that ‘peek-a-boo posing Asian woman’ is Debra Yang, the former U.S. Attorney for the Central District of California, whom GDC allegedly paid a $1 mil signing bonus. She can peek-a-boo around whatever the hell she wants to peek-a-boo around.”

“Debra Yang’s picture’s been taken down.”

“Wait, the peek-a-boo is still there. Now spotted in the mix over at Practices. Please, GDC, put up a different picture of Ms. Yang.”

Curious to see what all the fuss is about? Check out the controversial photo of Gibson Dunn partner (and former U.S. attorney) Debra Wong Yang, after the jump.

As we mentioned before, we regularly receive all sorts of apocryphal rumors related to the fall recruiting process.

The gossip can be salacious and fun to read — even if turns out to be untrue. Like this rumor, which we heard from a University of Virginia law student quite some time ago:

Skadden has not interviewed here on grounds yet…. [Ed. note: We believe that they have by now.]

There are some rumors going around the school that a handful of my classmates, all of whom are minorities, have already received offers from Skadden. Obviously, any rumor must be taken with a grain of salt, but the word here is that offers were made very early to minority candidates in an effort to attract more minorities. I know of at least two with offers and both are African-American. Neither worked for Skadden last summer, which is the red flag in my eyes….

As I said, I’m not too familiar with the NALP rules, but others have indicated to me that those early offers are not proper given the NALP rules and regulations. I personally could not care — I’m not interested in Skadden or the markets in which Skadden is interviewing for at UVa — but I read the site regularly and wanted to pass along the information.

Sadly, it appears that this gossip — while juicy and potentially controversial — is not true.

The explanation appears after the jump.

In the comments to yesterday’s open thread on Boston bonuses, which we thought was going to be the final bonus thread, a number of you requested a thread for SAN FRANCISCO.

We don’t know if bonus policies and expectations in San Francisco / Silicon Valley will differ that much from those in Los Angeles (previously discussed here). Many big national firms appear to have uniform California bonus policies.

But if there are differences you’d like to note, or if you’d like to talk about bonuses at firms that only have an S.F. office, this is thread for doing so. Thanks.

Earlier: Year-end bonus open threads for New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Boston, and Washington, DC.

That’s the question we tackle in our latest column for the New York Observer. Here’s an excerpt:

Among associates at large law firms, Facebook passed the tipping point sometime over the summer. Since the site opened to the public last year, adults everywhere have been joining—there are 40 million people already on Facebook, and about a million more every week. But lawyers seem to be particularly enamored of it (as is Microsoft, which is reportedly considering an investment that would value Facebook at as much as $10 billion).

It’s an expensive love affair…. Next year, the AmLaw 200 law firms are expected to hire 10,000 new associates. Let’s estimate, conservatively, that half of them spend one billable hour a week on Facebook. If we assume (again conservatively) an average hourly billing rate of $200, that comes to about $50 million a year in lost billable hours—and partner profits. Fifty million bucks will buy you a lot of Hermès ties.

You can read the rest of the piece by clicking here.

From Bluebook to Facebook: Social Site Seduces Firmland [New York Observer]

Yesterday we declared this week to be Non-Top-Tier Law School Week at ATL. We’ll be focusing on the career prospects of graduates of non-elite law schools.

As noted, many such grads work in the field of insurance law. Here’s another popular option: working as a contract attorney.

We’ll kick off the discussion with a comment from a reader. Here’s one:

How about a post on JD’s who are doing contract work while waiting for bar results? There have to be more people like myself who don’t have jobs wit the Am 100, who once bar exam results emerge will be hitting the legal market in search of the dream job.

Maybe you would tap into a large section of people like myself who are presently in a legal no-man’s-land…. [F]rom what I hear, only about 20% of students actually have jobs coming out of law school or before bar exam results come out.

So, any takers? Are any of you similarly situated, doing contract work while waiting to hear from the bar examiners? Any recommendations about landing such gigs?

(We have fodder for more general discussion of contract attorney gigs, but we’ll save it for future posts. Feel free to send tips our way, by email. Thanks.)

We have to step away for a bit. We’re attending this panel discussion, in which various Supreme Court experts will offer a preview of the upcoming Term. We also plan to attend another SCOTUS preview panel, taking place on Friday morning, focused specifically on the Court’s business-law cases.

But fear not; we’ve arranged for content to be posted while we’re gone. We wouldn’t dream of leaving you for two and a half hours without fresh procrastination material. So check back soon.

A Preview of the Supreme Court October 2007 Term [Federalist Society]
Annual Supreme Court Briefing [American Enterprise Institute]

Even when they’re not getting indicted or pleading guilty, high-profile plaintiffs’ lawyers can still entertain us with their antics. From Walter Olson, over at Overlawyered:

Looks as if the legal tactics of one politically ambitious Texas plaintiff’s lawyer may have blown up in his face:

“Democratic U.S. Senate candidate Mikal Watts of San Antonio once tried to pressure a legal opponent into a $60 million personal injury lawsuit settlement by claiming he would have an advantage on appeal because of his firm’s ‘heavy’ campaign financial support to an appellate court’s justices, ‘all of whom are good Democrats.’

Guess Brad Schlozman isn’t the only arbiter of “good”-ness. Anyway, back to Watts:

A “nine-page letter Watts wrote to opposing counsel in 2001 apparently was intended to make an out-of-state corporation think the donations could sway” the 13th Court of Appeals in Corpus Christi. The letter was sent to a defense lawyer representing American Electric Power in an auto-accident case. “Politely put, south Texas venue by itself makes this a very dangerous lawsuit,” Watts wrote.

We commend Mikal Watts for his candor. Why should walking into a south Texas courtroom be a trap for the unwary?

Furor over Mikal Watts “judges owe us” letter [Overlawyered]

Good things about Cadwalader, Wickersham & Taft: profits per partner of $2.9 million, third behind Wachtell and Cravath. Visits from Cameron Diaz.

Bad things about Cadwalader: bed bugs. And $70 million malpractice lawsuits.

The indefatigable Anthony Lin has this report, in the New York Law Journal:

As the global slowdown in the market for mortgage-backed securities threatens a core practice area of Cadwalader, Wickersham & Taft, the New York law firm is also wrestling with a $70 million legal malpractice suit brought by a major issuer of such securities….

Nomura Asset Capital Corp., a U.S. division of Japan’s largest securities firm, filed suit against Cadwalader last October in Manhattan Supreme Court over documents the law firm drafted for a 1997 securitization transaction in which Nomura pooled 156 commercial mortgages worth around $1.8 billion.

We’ll spare you the details of the suit, since they’re boring and kinda hard to follow. CWT is represented by Cravath, and they’re moving to dismiss.

More discussion — including talk about associate layoffs, triggered by the generally grim climate for mortgage-backed securities work — after the jump.

It’s not as great as this lawyer ad. Nor does it rise to the level of the Nixon Peabody non-theme song.

But this lawyer advertisement, spotted in a Houston area convenience store, is pretty cute. And in a world in which software license agreements have choice-of-law clauses like this one, who’s to say that it won’t be effective?

(The attorney behind the ad is Wayne Heller, who appears to be a solo practitioner focused on criminal defense work.)

Trust me, I know… [Flickr]
Wayne A. Heller [FindLaw Lawyer Directory]

* SCOTUS to hear some pretty interesting cases next term. [Washington Post; New York Times; CNN]

* Apparently, Ross Perot owns the Magna Carta, for now. [CNN]

* Jack Bauer arrested for DUI, was allegedly speaking in an urgent, raspy tone. [MSNBC]

* Attorney sues Larry Birkhead for defamation. [MSNBC]

* Calls for campus paper editor to resign. [CNN]

We’re sorry to report that we haven’t heard serious and credible raise rumors lately. In fact, we’ve heard more gossip about layoffs in recent weeks than about associate pay increases. The rumors of “NYC to 190”, which used to flood our email inbox, have gone the way of Testa Hurwitz.

But here is some reason for optimism. From the National Law Journal:

Nearly two decades ago, [Georgetown law professor] Philip G. Schrag said he saw the need to help law students with crippling law school debt….

Help is finally on the way with the College Cost Reduction and Access Act of 2007. Passed by Congress on Sept. 7, the bill aims to help law students and other graduates with high debt through an income-based loan-repayment plan. The bill also would allow for loan forgiveness for qualifying employees after 10 years of service to government agencies or nonprofit organizations.

Tex Frank explains why this might be good news for some of you, at Overlawyered:

Bush has indicated he’d sign the bill.

The market currently reflects a private-public pay gap reflecting the fact that public jobs are generally considered to have better working conditions and that private-sector law firms need to offer substantially higher pay to encourage attorneys to work there. If the government is providing thousands of dollars of loan subsidies to government and non-profit attorneys, the private sector will need to raise its salaries to continue to compete, some of which will be swallowed by the partners, but most will be swallowed by the clients, who, increasingly facing bet-the-company litigation, have inelastic demand for top law firms. Too, as attorney salaries increase, and loans are subsidized by the government, law schools will be empowered to extract some of that surplus by raising tuition.

Winners: most attorneys, law school employees, and some clients of non-profits. Losers: taxpayers, clients, partners at non-top-tier firms.

Do you concur with Ted Frank’s analysis? And what about graduates of non-top-tier law schools, who are the focus of this week at ATL — how will they be affected by this legislation?

(We’d think that they would be thrilled by anything that might ameliorate crushing loads of educational debt. But if this change could be bad news for non-top-tier firms, it could indirectly be bad news for non-top-tier grads, insofar as non-top-tier firms provide jobs for so many of them.)

Taxpayers to provide additional subsidies for law-school education [Overlawyered]
Law School Loans About to Be Lightened for Some [National Law Journal]
Bush Will Sign Loan-Relief Bill for Public-Interest Lawyers [Daily Journal (subscription)]

* We know you guys never tire of talking about the tough job market for graduates of non-top-tier law schools. Here is Sam Kamin’s take on Amir Efrati’s WSJ piece. [PrawfsBlawg]

* Can’t get a Biglaw gig, perhaps because you’re a Tier 2 (or Tier 3 or Tier 4) grad? Why not hang out your own shingle? [Build A Solo Practice, LLC]

* Still on this week’s non-top-tier law school theme, Dave Hoffman wonders: “[I]s there a point to law school beyond sorting students?” [Concurring Opinions]

* Vault is beloved not just by prestige-obsessed law students, but by investors, too. A private equity firm just bought a stake in Vault that values it at $60-$85 million. [alarm: clock]

* We have no difficulty believing this SCOTUS clerk gossip. [BeldarBlogs]

* Maybe Vanessa Hudgens should pay her lawyer in kind. Autographed nudie pics would surely fetch a pretty penny on eBay. [E! Online]

* Wondering whether there’s a double jeopardy issue with respect to the state charges against Michael Vick? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Want to pick up some advice on the voir dire process — and catch up on the last week of legal blogging at the same time? Check out Blawg Review #127, by trial lawyer and jury consultant Anne Reed. [Deliberations via Blawg Review]

It appears that Quinn Emanuel isn’t the only law firm with a snazzy new website. The WSJ Law Blog reports:

Okay, we’re not necessarily proud of our law-firm Web site fetish, so forgive us for spilling a few pixels over the spanking-new page the folks at Gibson Dunn put up.

[Ed. note: Racy stuff, esp. for the Wall Street Journal! That sentence — with its references to a “fetish,” “spilling a few pixels” (hehe), and “spanking” — is chock full of double entendres.]

We’re not sure it offers more or better content than the average firm site… but check out that design! We’re big fans, from the newspapery layout to the McSweeney’s-esque literary feel to the overall minimialist aesthetic….

Take, for instance, the six videos on firm diversity. There’s one entitled Out, with gay partners talking about their sexual orientation. And then there’s one called Red & Blue, about the firm’s political diversity, including an interview with former Congressman Mel Levine (Blue) and former Solictor General Ted Olson (Red)…

Unlike those rascals over at Quinn Emanuel, the GDC folks haven’t pulled their videos. And hopefully they will leave them up, even after we poke (gentle) fun of them.

Which we proceed to do, after the jump.

As we previously mentioned, this week is Non-Top-Tier Law School Week at ATL. Even our open threads on job hunting will reflect this theme.

One graduate of a non-elite law school sent us this suggested topic:

Lots of non-top tier law students end up working for insurance companies.

The dumb ones end up doing insurance defense (hired by insurance company to defend slip and fall, med mal, etc). The smart ones do insurance coverage (represent the insurance company which denied coverage).

How about postings where we can compare salary info? Salary info at these firms is much more guarded. I have no idea what anyone else makes.

So, what ARE salaries like in this area? From our tipster:

I’ll get the ball rolling from the insurance coverage perspective. When I started as a first year at one NYC insurance coverage firm, I was making $75,000 with no bonus (and a billable hours minimum of 1900).

Now, I am a fifth year doing insurance coverage at a different firm in NYC, my salary is $128,000, and our firm offers a $7,500 bonus to associates deemed the cream of the crop at year end. Name partners are rumored to make a boat load of cash, but other partners are rumored to be nothing more than senior associates. Our minimum billables are 2100.

More discussion, after the jump.

No wonder the producers of The Bachelor are so eager to have a lawyer as the Bachelor. With their impressive educational pedigrees and generally high incomes — even non-top-tier law grads earn more than the average American — lawyers are a desirable demographic. And relying upon the contestants to keep lawyers watching might not be a smart idea, since legal eagles keep getting shot down on the show.

From a tipster (a distinguished law professor, which goes to show that even geniuses enjoy trashy TV shows):

[O]n last night’s season premiere of the Bachelor, both of the law students were sent home in the first cut. The Phoenix Suns dancer stayed.

I only caught the beginning, when they were all being introduced, and I noticed the two law students – couldn’t figure out for sure what schools they were at. I’m guessing this show was taped over the summer, so this may have been their substitute for a summer associateship. In hindsight, a bad decision….

I was on the phone the rest of the time, and only learned later that they were both cut. They were decent-looking, though, so I wonder if it was their winning law school personality that made the difference…

We agree. The eliminated contestants — Juli, 24, of Chicago, and Natalie, 25, of Duncanville, TX — are quite comely. We’re guessing they go to non-top-tier law schools, which have hotter students.

We don’t watch The Bachelor; we prefer to spend our trash TV time on Gossip Girl. But if you saw the season premiere, and paid more attention than our tipster, we welcome your thoughts on why the law students got cut.

Update: From another source:

“Not sure what law school Juli attends (I believe it’s Michigan, but I don’t have confirmation on that), but I CAN confirm that she was a summer associate at Katten’s Chicago office. She left partway through the summer to film the show, and she STILL got an offer. True story.”

Hopefully she left Katten early enough to avoid having her ass grabbed.

Season Premiere: Episode Recap [The Bachelor (ABC)]

Earlier: Here’s One Way To Escape from Biglaw

Our recent open threads, dedicated to discussion of year-end bonuses in different legal markets, haven’t been generating THAT many comments (at least compared to prior open threads). Maybe it’s too early for bonus discussion. Or maybe people just aren’t expecting much this year, given the recent base salary increases. So this may end up being the last post in the series.

Some of you have requested an open thread for discussion of law firm bonuses in BOSTON. Here you go.

Please discuss Boston bonus policies and expectations, in the comments. Thanks.

Earlier: Year-end bonus open threads for New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Washington, DC.

It’s only Tuesday morning, and we’ve already done several posts on the professional plight of non-elite law school graduates. So we’re declaring this week Non-Top-Tier Law School Week at ATL. If you have a story idea that fits into this theme, please email us.

Here’s our latest tale about the plight of “non-T14” law school grads. It suggests that Mahmoud Ahmadinejad isn’t the only person making controversial appearances at New York area schools.

From a tipster at New York Law School (a Tier 3 school, not to be confused with fourth-ranked NYU; if you ever want to piss off an NYU grad, refer to their alma mater as “New York Law School”):

“New York Law School in Tribeca had David Boies speak at our graduation this past July. Yet his firm does not hire from New York Law School. The only NYLS alum there graduated in 1968.”

Ouch. But for the record, our tipster later emailed us a correction: there’s one more New York Law School grad at Boies Schiller. That makes for a grand total of two (2) NYLS alumni at the firm. But the point is still the same. As our source observes, “they still don’t even do on campus at NYLS.”

“Anyway, this is intended to be more damning of NYLS than it is of Boies Schiller, which has the right to follow any hiring practices they desire. However, NYLS should maybe be a little more selective in who they choose to speak to us third-tier graduates.”

Do you agree with this tipster? Is NYLS degrading itself by, in the words of our tipster, “giving out honorary degrees to people who don’t even hire its graduates”? Or would the tipster’s approach unduly limit the universe of possible graduation speakers?

More discussion, including some email correspondence between an NYLS student and the school’s dean, after the jump.

Never heard of Duval & Stachenfeld?Well, that’s about to change, thanks to the firm’s innovative approach to associate compensation, which is getting some media mentions. From an article by Kellie Schmitt in The Recorder:

The 50-lawyer firm, based in New York but with a small L.A. office, starts first-year associates at $60,000 — or $100,000 below the starting salary at many Am Law 100 firms.

Mid-year and senior associates, however, are promised the same total pay — or more — that they’d earn at Latham & Watkins or Skadden, Arps, Slate, Meagher & Flom.

For third-years on up, the firm says it checks what top New York firms like Cravath, Swaine & Moore are paying in base salary and bonuses, and matches that. Last year, the firm added a $10,000 sweetener.

So what exactly is the point of this unusual system?

More discussion, after the jump.

* New York Times Magazine profiles Justice Stevens. [New York Times Magazine]

* Breaking down the New York Knicks sexual harassment trial. [ESPN]

* Prosecutor contradicts Sen. Craig’s story. [CNN]

* NY AG subpoenas Facebook. [MSNBC]

* Vick may face state charges related to dogfighting. [Sports Illustrated]

Earlier today, Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad made a controversial appearance at Columbia University. The decision to invite Ahmadinejad was defended by President Lee Bollinger, who criticized Ahmadinejad and his views while introducing him, but condemned by Columbia Law School Dean David Schizer.

Dean Schizer’s statement provides us with enough of a “law” hook to write about the controversy. Here’s what he had to say:

This event raises deep and complicated issues about how best to express our commitment to intellectual freedom, and to our free way of life. Although we believe in free and open debate at Columbia and should never suppress points of view, we are also committed to academic standards. A high-quality academic discussion depends on intellectual honesty but, unfortunately, Mr. Ahmadinejad has proven himself, time and again, to be uninterested in whether his words are true. Therefore, my personal opinion is that he should not be invited to speak. Mr. Ahmadinejad is a reprehensible and dangerous figure who presides over a repressive regime, is responsible for the death of American soldiers, denies the Holocaust, and calls for the destruction of Israel. It would be deeply regrettable if some misread this invitation as lending prestige or legitimacy to his views.

Our university is a pluralistic place, and I recognize that others within our community take a different view in good faith, and that they have the right to extend invitations that I personally would not extend. I know that we will learn from each other in discussing the difficult questions prompted by this invitation.

Do you agree with President Bollinger or Dean Schizer? Take our poll:

Statement By David M. Schizer Re: SIPA Invitation to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad [Columbia Law School]
Tough US Welcome for Iran’s Ahmadinejad [Associated Press]
Columbia law dean slams Ahmadinejad invite [JTA]
QuickSpec- Judgement Day edition [The Bwog]

Many judges are done hiring their law clerks for next year. We’re happy to report that several of our friends, whom we were informally advising on the process, landed clerkships with their top picks.

For those of you who are still going through the process, this gossip might be of interest:

Rumor check: word on the street is that a raft judges have made a decision to only hire graduates for clerkships. One person told me that means there are about 60% less positions open for 3L applicants. The end result is that a number of schools are having their worst clerkship hiring year in memory (at least for their 3L’s). Have you heard the same?

We haven’t heard this specific rumor until now. But we do know that some judges have started hiring more graduates simply because the hiring of grads — e.g., junior associates at firms — isn’t controlled by the elaborate timetable of the law clerk hiring plan. With the possible exception of feeder judges, who have no choice but to try and snag top recruits early, most judges probably think it’s less viciously competitive — or at least less of a hassle — to hire recent law school graduates (who come with the added benefit of practical experience).

So, readers, any thoughts?

Earlier: Clerkship Hiring: Today’s the Day

We aren’t the only ones having fun with the story of the Quinn Emanuel recruiting junket to Deer Valley. Check out this cartoon, over at The Recorder.

As noted by some commenters, Quinn Emanuel just launched a new, upgraded website. Sadly, the “Day in a Life of an Associate” video — which featured a fictional associate, a Yale and Stanford Law-educated hottie named “Ivy” (geddit?) — appears to have been pulled. (The site says that the video is “coming soon.”)

Some of the speculation about why the video was pulled is amusing. Check it out, after the jump.

Maybe not. A summary of the findings of a recent study, from Freakonomics:

[R]esults were unequivocal: no relationship existed between law school courseloads and the passage rate of students ranked in the first, second or fourth quarters of their law school class, while only a weak relationship existed for students who ranked in the third quarter. Overall, Rush writes, “students in the upper two quartiles passed the exam at an extremely high rate and those in the fourth quartile failed at a high rate, regardless of which classes they took in law school.”

So taking Secured Transactions really has no redeeming qualities after all.

The Science of Passing the Bar Exam: Does First-Year Torts Really Matter? [Freakonomics]

We have to step away for a bit. We’ll leave you with another open thread to discuss year-end bonuses. Today we focus on our base of operations: WASHINGTON, DC.

If your firm has a stated bonus policy, what are the basic terms? If not, what are you expecting by way of a bonus this year? How will the move to $160K affect year-end bonuses in the D.C. market?

Please discuss these and related subjects, in the comments. Thanks.

Earlier: Year-end bonus open threads for New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago.

On the front page of today’s Wall Street Journal, there’s an excellent article, by Amir Efrati, about the not-so-hot job prospects for non-top-tier law school graduates. Here’s the lede, which nicely summarizes the situation:

A law degree isn’t necessarily a license to print money these days.

For graduates of elite law schools, prospects have never been better. Big law firms this year boosted their starting salaries to as high as $160,000. But the majority of law-school graduates are suffering from a supply-and-demand imbalance that’s suppressing pay and job growth. The result: Graduates who don’t score at the top of their class are struggling to find well-paying jobs to make payments on law-school debts that can exceed $100,000. Some are taking temporary contract work, reviewing documents for as little as $20 an hour, without benefits. And many are blaming their law schools for failing to warn them about the dark side of the job market.

It’s a most worthwhile piece (although somewhat reminiscent of this article, by Leigh Jones for the National Law Journal). Here’s our favorite part:

Some un- or underemployed grads are seeking consolation online, where blogs and discussion boards have created venues for shared commiseration that didn’t exist before. An anonymous writer called Loyola 2L, purportedly a student at Loyola Law School, who claims the school wasn’t straight about employment prospects, has been beating a drum of discontent around the Web in the past year that’s sparked thousands of responses, and a fan base. (“2L” stands for second-year law student.) Some thank “L2L” for articulating their plight; others claim L2L should complain less and work more.

Loyola’s Dean Burcham says he wishes he knew who the student was so he could help the person. “It’s expensive to go to law school, and there are times when you second-guess yourself as a student,” he says.

One tipster quips: “Loyola Dean David Burcham wants to find and help Loyola 2L. How? By refunding his tuition?”

So, will the real Loyola 2L please stand up — and email us? We’d love to discuss potential opportunities with you. Thanks.

Hard Case: Job Market Wanes for U.S. Lawyers [Wall Street Journal]
The Dark Side of the Legal Job Market [WSJ Law Blog]

Earlier: It’s Hard Out Here for Non-Top-Tier Law School Graduates

More good press for Jeffrey Toobin’s new book, The Nine: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court. It scored a front-page review in the New York Times Book Review, which is the Holy Grail of the publishing industry.

But we’re partial to this great Slate piece, by Emily Bazelon and Dahlia Lithwick (two of our favorite Supreme Court correspondents). Bazelon and Lithwick conduct a meta-review of critical reactions to Jeff Toobin’s book, which they use as a jumping off point for broader reflections on media coverage of the Court. They include a generous shout-out to ATL:

One of the oddest byproducts of the Internet has been the growth industry that is the Supreme Court gossip blog. These folks are less interested in the court as the place where Law Is Born, or where Politics Really Come From, and more fascinated by which clerks are sleeping with whom, and how much they earn while doing it.

No blog has a better bead on those items than David Lat’s Above the Law. Sure, ATL invariably tends to reduce the entire sweep of modern constitutional history to a form of girl-on-girl Jell-O-wrestling. But then at bottom, what else is there?

As one reader jokingly suggested, “Looks like your Facebook group membership finally paid off!”

Nine Ways To Read The Nine [Slate]
Meet the Supremes [New York Times Book Review]

* Wall Street Journal front page article on bleak JD job market. [WSJ via Law Blog]

* Ohio State must pay former coach $2.5 million. [ESPN]

* Florida dems risk delegates with early primary. [CNN PoliTic]

* If he did it, was it because of football injuries? [Slate]

Update: We’ll be doing a full post about the WSJ Law Blog post, featuring a huge shout-out to Loyola 2L, later today. Please bear with us; it’s Monday morning.

* As a judge, Michael Mukasey cited Shakespeare in snarking on — and striking down — the federal sentencing guidelines. [AP]

* Speaking of district judges, the well-regarded Judge Paul Cassell (D. Utah — at right) is resigning from the bench — partly due to low judicial pay. [Sentencing Law & Policy via WSJ Law Blog]

* What not to wear when you go to the airport. [Boston Globe]

* Unlike, say, the Ninth Circuit, the Second Circuit follows on-point Supreme Court precedent. [TaxProf Blog]

* Your submissions for Blawg Review #127 are respectfully requested. [Deliberations]

Update: The citation for the Mukasey opinion is United States v. Mendez, 691 F. Supp. 656, 663-64 (S.D.N.Y. 1988).

Back in this post, in which we incorrectly predicted that Mukasey wouldn’t get the AG nomination, we wrote: “We’d also add that Judge Mukasey probably isn’t solidly conservative enough for the White House. See, e.g., his views on the federal sentencing guidelines.”

Federal judge Ursula Mancusi Ungaro was sighted at a recent “Constitution Day Party” down in Miami. She posed for photos with other guests — including TV judge Alex E. Ferrer, better known to television audiences as Judge Alex.

This photo of Judge Ungaro and Judge Alex, by lawyer-blogger David Oscar Marcus, was our favorite. Behold how the taut white fabric stretches tantalizingly across Her Honor’s ample bosom. Here are some suggested captions:

“They’re real, they’re spectacular — and they have life tenure.”

“Guess they have strong air conditioning down in Miami.”

“Underneath her robes, indeed.”

Wow. We fully expect to see Judge Ursula Ungaro as a nominee the next time we hold a judicial hotties contest.

Update: We have been offering irreverent commentary about the physical appearance of federal judges, male and female, for years now. If the Washington Post can parse the cleavage of Hillary Clinton, then surely a blog — which is not bound by the standards of decency and respectability that apply to the MSM — can parse the cleavage of a federal judge (who is also a public figure).

If you are so deeply offended by the playful, good-natured paying of compliments to a federal judge who also happens to be attractive, then don’t read ATL. This isn’t the first time that we’ve engaged in such commentary, and it won’t be the last. Thank you.

For the record, our admiration for Judge Ungaro is not prurient in the least. Trust us.

Further Update: We are now authorized to share this information with you, which we’ve known for a while. It may change your view of things:

After her nasty divorce in 2003-2004, [Judge Ungaro] got a boob job. She bragged about it to her clerks and asked them how “they” looked.

If Judge Ungaro is proud of “them,” who are you to tell her she shouldn’t be?

P.S. Speaking of cosmetic surgery, if you’re looking for a plastic surgeon in the New York / New Jersey area, check out our dad. He’s a talented, board-certified plastic surgeon. Be sure to ask for the special discount for friends of ATL!

Pictures from Constitution Day Party [Southern District of Florida Blog (via Google Cache)]
District news (item #3) [Southern District of Florida Blog]
We the People [Miami Herald]
Judge Ursula Mancusi Ungaro [Federal Judicial Center]
Judge Alex [official website]

We’ve devoted an insane amount of coverage to Quinn Emanuel’s plan to take recruits to a resort in Deer Valley, Utah (in lieu of callbacks). Now The Recorder has this interesting article:

Instead of bringing students met during on-campus interviews back to the office for a series of sit-downs, the firm will take them on the road. Quinn Emanuel is arranging an all-expenses-paid October weekend of dining and drinks in Deer Valley, Utah, for about 40 students. They’ll stay at the Stein Eriksen Lodge, a Scandinavian-inspired chalet where a suite runs more than $2,000 a night in peak season.

“We stole the idea from an investment bank — I don’t think any law firm has tried it,” said firm leader William Urquhart.

Reporter Kellie Schmitt confronted Quinn Emanuel partners with some choice comments from ATL readers. Learn about their reactions, after the jump.

So you can’t get a decent horse meat sandwich in the Windy City. How about a decent year-end bonus?

In the comments, please discuss the subject of year-end bonuses for law firm associates in CHICAGO. Topics might include hours cutoffs for hours-based policies, historical patterns in bonus size (e.g. what happened last year), and gossip about what might happen this year.

And how about those legendary Kirkland & Ellis bonuses? Pretty sweet, aren’t they?

P.S. In case you missed it, since we posted it at an odd hour, our L.A. bonus thread appears here.

Earlier: Year-end bonus open threads for Los Angeles and New York.

Well, not in Illinois. In Cavel International v. Madigan (PDF; via How Appealing), the Seventh Circuit upheld an Illinois law making it unlawful to “slaughter a horse if that person knows or should know that any of the horse meat will be used for human consumption.”

It’s a quirky and interesting case. Howard Bashman provides a concise summary and more discussion over here.

Don’t miss page 11 of Judge Richard Posner’s slip opinion, which features a photograph of a “birthday cake” made of horse meat. YUM!!

Cavel Int’l v. Madigan (PDF) [U.S. Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit]
Horse meat was until recently an accepted part of the American diet [How Appealing]

Is this litigation kosher? You bet. From Vos Iz Neias (Yiddish: “What’s News”):

A New Hampshire prison inmate’s file drove a federal judge to rhyme to express himself.

A prison inmate protesting his [non-Kosher] diet attached a hard-boiled egg to documents sent by mail to U.S. District Court Judge James Muirhead.

“I do not like eggs in the file. I do not like them in any style. I will not take them fried or boiled. I will not take them poached or broiled. I will not take them soft or scrambled Despite an argument well-rambled,” Muirhead wrote in his response to inmate Charles Wolffe.

Wolffe, 61, says he is an Orthodox Jew and has accused prison officials of refusing to feed him a kosher diet. He is seeking… proper foods and $10 million from the state. His case has been scheduled for a trial.

More discussion, plus the full text of Judge Muirhead’s order, after the jump.

Here’s a sign of changing times: lawyers are picking up luxury real estate holdings that hedge fund guys can’t afford to keep.

From the Daily Business Review:

A high profile Miami litigator is expanding his real estate holdings on Key Biscayne.

Attorney Eugene E. Stearns and his wife, Diana, purchased a two-story home at 250 Cape Florida Drive for $8 million Aug. 31 from United Real Estate Ventures owned by trader D. John Devaney.

The 7,852-square-foot house has eight bathrooms, six bedrooms and a first-floor master suite. The house built in 1985 features cathedral ceilings.

Who says the Miami real estate market is dead? A thousand bucks a square foot, for a single-family house not on the island of Manhattan, doesn’t sound half-bad.

Discussion continues after the jump.

Time for a quick update on a recent Lawsuit of the Day — the case filed by Nebraska state senator Ernie Chambers, against God. Yes, God.

From the AP (via TaxProf Blog):

A legislator who filed a lawsuit against God has gotten something he might not have expected: a response.

One of two court filings from “God” came Wednesday under otherworldly circumstances, according to John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha.

“This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here — poof!” Friend said.

Or maybe the court clerks didn’t notice when it was dropped off, since they were too busy gabbing about why Tyra picked a chick with Asperger’s for America’s Next Top Model.

More after the jump.

Here’s the latest Job of the Week from Lateral Link, ATL’s career partner:

Title: Attorney In Charge Of Firmwide Private Equity Knowledge Management

Location: Chicago

Description: This position is a combination business and legal position at a top international law firm, with no billable hours and no client development expectations. The position is full-time, affording the attorney holding the position the ability to remain deeply involved in private equity law with a more regular and predictable schedule than most private equity attorneys experience.

The attorney would have responsibilities in a number of areas related to the firm’s highly regarded private equity practice — precedent, training, publications and knowledge development, among other things. This firm offers a highly competitive salary and bonus eligibility, which is expected to be comparable to the salary and bonus eligibility of an attorney at a similar level of experience. This position is ideal for a private equity attorney seeking to scale back their practice and increase their role in business development, marketing and management.

More details, after the jump.

Last night’s Colbert Report was a bonanza for law nerds. The featured guest was Jeffrey Toobin, who spoke about his new book, The Nine: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court. Toobin and Colbert had a relaxed and easy rapport, and their conversation was highly entertaining — perhaps the best CR appearance since Neal Katyal. You can check out Stephen Colbert’s interview of Jeff Toobin by clicking here.

Before turning to the SCOTUS, they discussed the most recent legal troubles of O.J. Simpson. As you may recall, Toobin was one of the lead correspondents on the original O.J. trial, as well as the author of a bestselling book about it, The Run of His Life. Toobin summarized the defense strategy in the armed robbery case against Simpson as follows: “If it’s his s***, you must acquit.”

But that’s not all! There was a special shout-out to Bingham McCutchen, during the ThreatDown.

More details, plus a video clip, after the jump.

If you enjoy spotting legal celebrities, then the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts, here in Washington, DC, is where it’s at. Check out these latest Eyes of the Law sightings:

“On Sunday, it was the symphony opening at the Kennedy Center. I walked in with Justice Alito, and Justice Ginsburg came a bit later. And Vernon Jordan.”

“There were also non-legal celebrities in attendance: Steven Schwarzman, Alphonso Jackson, Tom Friedman, and Nancy Brinker, the former head of the Komen Foundation and the new U.S. Chief of Protocol.”

“On Monday, at the opera, I spotted Nina Totenberg. She wore a nice blue suit and had full metal makeup and hair.”

“She stood in line for her drink in the lobby along with everyone else and did not push to the front or demand that others get her drink for her. Apparently this is very out of character for her.”

If you spot a legal celeb out and about, please let us know, by email. Cell phone pictures and even TMZ-style video are always welcome. Thanks.

* A criminal action. [AP via How Appealing]

* Another criminal action: as expected, Mel Weiss indicted. [DealBook]

* 3 years of probationizzle. [BBC]

* Can’t go to Yale? No worries if Yale’s your name and O.J.’s your client. [CNN]

* Been duped into seeking asylum? Blame Canada. [New York Times]

* Ten Commandents display in Kentucky courthouse OK. [Jurist]

As we announced earlier today, we’re doing a series of open threads on year-end bonuses. We’re organizing them by city, since bonuses tend to vary by legal market.

This post — which some of you have been eagerly anticipating, judging from the attempts to hijack the New York thread — is about LOS ANGELES. Please discuss bonus policies at L.A. law firms in the comments. Thanks.

Earlier: Year-bonus open thread for New York.

* A synopsis of the Jena 6 controversy, and Glenn Reynolds’s thoughts on it. [Instapundit; Instapundit]

* We’re relieved to learn we’re alone in finding the “Don’t Tase Me” guy “slightly annoying.” [Wonkette]

* Should law professors impose mandatory attendance policies? [Concurring Opinions]

* Humorless lawyer who can’t handle being parodied in video game = Lawsuit of the Day. [PrawfsBlawg]

* White Judge With Asian Guy = Judge of the Day. Especially when she berates him for crying in court as he describes why he fled from China. [New York Times]

Lawyers have a pretty decent track record as reality show contestants. We went to law school with Yul Kwon, winner of Survivor: Cook Islands. So maybe this idea isn’t as dubious as it might seem:

An alert reader sent us along his very own invitation to be on The Bachelor. ‘“Apparently they are randomly spamming New York lawyers,” says our spy, who works at a top-ten firm. Casting directors are looking for someone “who is successful, good-looking, has an out-going personality, is ready to settle down, is around 6 ft tall and, usually, is between 27 to 36 years of age.” Guess you’re shit outta luck, shorties!

“We’ve never had an attorney be ‘The Bachelor’ so we are definitely looking to go that route,” the e-mail admits. The producers seem to know a little bit about the law profession — specifically, that good catches are harder to find than you’d think. So they’re casting their net wide and offering $5,000 reward to anyone who finds an attorney who could make the show.

If you get cast on the show, please mention that you read about it on ATL — we’d be happy to collect the five grand.

But though they know a bit about lawyers, it’s clearly not enough. Here’s the last line of the e-mail: “Please DO NOT forward to the press. We try to make this part of the process as private as possible.” Silly casting agents! Don’t you know that 50 percent of all law firms’ billable hours are spent forwarding private e-mails?

So, so true. Please continue to forward us private emails, early and often.

Update: A reader forwarded us the original email, which appears after the jump.

‘The Bachelor’ Casting for New York Lawyers [New York Magazine]

Yesterday we broke the news of Sullivan & Cromwell’s new bonus program for its most senior associates. To read the memo from firm chairman H. Rodgin Cohen, click here.

Now we have more details, thanks to the WSJ Law Blog (which has a nice shout-out to us) and the New York Law Journal.

Some ballpark numbers, from the NYLJ:

A Sullivan & Cromwell partner who asked to remain unnamed said Wednesday that the supplemental bonuses would probably range from around $15,000 for fifth-years to around $30,000 for eighth-years.

With the supplemental bonus, the most senior associates at Sullivan & Cromwell can expect to earn total compensation of around $400,000, based on the current top base salary of $310,000 and last year’s $60,000 year-end bonus.

The WSJ Law Blog scored an interview with Rodge Cohen, who explained: “Retention is clearly an objective… 95% of the associates we lose we’re sorry to see go.”

Five percent = Aaron Charney + Gera Grinberg.

But will a little extra cash make a big difference in retention? Law firm consultant Peter Zeughauser has his doubts.

The WSJ also asked Rodgin Cohen about a subject near and dear to all of your hearts: possible increases in base salaries. Cohen said that the subject won’t be discussed for another month or so.

More discussion, plus a reader poll, after the jump.

We regularly receive all kinds of wacky gossip related to the fall recruiting process. Some of these rumors are true, and some of them aren’t.

We found this rumor, about the Chicago office of Morgan, Lewis & Bockius, quite amusing:

“I heard from a friend there that during summer associate callbacks, only students from ‘good schools’ get lunch. E.g., Harvard, Northwestern, University of Chicago.”

“Students from Illinois, DePaul, etc. must starve. You should look into this.”

Loyola (of Chicago) 2Ls: What say you?

We looked into this rumor. Alas, it appears to be untrue.

More after the jump.

Here’s some law firm merger scuttlebutt that’s making the rounds:

Rumor is that White & Case is acquiring Moore & Van Allen, a native Charlotte firm with a national syndicated finance practice. Any truth to this?

We reached out to both firms for comment. A White & Case spokesperson issued this statement:

“We do not respond to inquiries of this kind.”

Should we take that as a “yes”?

If we hear back from Moore & Van Allen, we’ll let you know. If you have any info, please email us. Thanks.

As you’ve made clear to us, through comments and via email, you’re dying to talk about year-end bonuses. For example:

— If your firm has a bonus policy that’s spelled out in advance, what are the general terms?

— If it’s a bonus based on billable hours, what are the cutoffs?

— If your firm doesn’t have a bonus policy, what are you expecting (or hoping) to receive this year as a bonus?

Here’s an open thread for discussion of bonuses at law firms in New York. We’ll roll out posts for other major legal markets over the next week or two.

We might compile bonus information in a more organized fashion at a later point in time. But for now, this will have to do. Have at it!

Update (1:10 PM): Originally this post was oriented around firms (alphabetically), but we’ve decided it makes more sense to organize by city. As this commenter correctly notes, “bonus policies vary more along market lines than firm lines.”

Are you trying to remember whether any of your law school classmates or colleagues clerked for former judge Michael Mukasey (S.D.N.Y.), President Bush’s nominee to replace Alberto Gonzales as attorney general?

Well, you’re in luck. Every single one of Judge Mukasey’s former law clerks signed a glowing letter of recommendation for the judge, in which they praise him as a jurist and mentor and urge his speedy confirmation as AG. Their letter was transmitted to the Senate last night.

You can check out the letter, including the list of signatories, after the jump.

The Honorable H. Emory Widener, of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit, passed away yesterday morning. From the Bristol Herald Courier:

Judge H. Emory Widener, 83, died at his Abingdon home around 11 a.m. Wednesday, according to court personnel in Bristol Virginia….

Widener began his law career in the Navy, then opened a private practice in Bristol in 1953. Ten years later, he was appointed to the U.S. District Court for the Western District of Virginia.

President Richard Nixon appointed Widener to the 4th Circuit in 1972, and he reached senior status in July, Schrinel said.

A source notes:

I was sad to hear that Judge Widener passed away. They literally worked that man to death. I’ve heard that the other judges on the Fourth Circuit basically begged him to stay active until Bush could find a replacement… He complied — but a replacement was never confirmed.

The Fourth Circuit is now operating at two-thirds capacity. It has 15 judgeships and five vacancies. For more detailed discussion of the state of the court — long regarded as a conservative bastion, but now up for grabs — see this article, published when Judge Widener took senior status in July.

A 4th Circuit Court of Appeals judge from Abingdon, Va., died on Wednesday [Bristol Herald Courier]
Judge H. Emory Widener Jr. steps down as active member of 4th Circuit [The Daily Record]

We noted this development in passing yesterday. Now here’s an AP article with a great title:

And then she headed off to a clerkship interview?

P.S. Results of our recent fashion poll after the jump.

Dry Cleaner in Pants Suit Closes [AP]

Sometimes it seems like we talk about the same handful of general practice Biglaw shops again and again. So let’s mix things up a bit. Here’s a suggestion from a loyal reader:

I’m in the field of patent law. It might be interesting to post a Fall Recruiting Thread that discusses both patent boutiques (Finnegan Henderson, Fizpatrick Cella, Kenyon & Kenyon) and general practice firms with a strong IP practice (Kirkland, Irell, MoFo, Jones Day, Ropes & Gray).

Yes, it might. So here’s that post — an open thread in which people can talk about firms that specialize in or excel at intellectual property law.

(Last month we had a post dedicated to discussion of compensation issues at IP firms. But this open thread is intended to be broader, to go beyond pay to discuss quality of life, strong practice areas, type of work, etc. Enjoy.)

Earlier: Nationwide Pay Raise Watch: IP Firms

* Didn’t they just execute somebody with an electric chair? And this is what gets them in trouble with the Constitution? [Jurist]

* Mel Weiss to be indicted. [New York Times]

* Oh, Al Sharpton, you’re incorrigible. [CNN]

* Judge withdraws jury instruction in Spector case; has he set up an easy appeal if there’s a conviction? [CNN]

After we did a post about foreign clerkships, we received a number of follow-up inquiries. Readers wanted to know whether any firms pay clerkship bonuses to (1) staff attorneys and (2) administrative law judge clerks:

“I was wondering if there are bonuses offered for ALJ clerkships - you can clerk in D.C. for, among others, the EPA, the FERC, the Department of Labor … It seems like some firms carefully excludes these from their bonus policy, but others are a bit less clear on the question. It seems to me, though, that if you’re going to a firm that does a lot of regulatory work, a clerkship with the appropriate agency would be quite valuable.”

“What about former administrative law judge clerks? For example, how much would one of the clerks coming from a Federal Energy Regulatory Commission judge this past summer pull from a DC energy firm?”

“Do you have information on whether firms pay clerkship bonuses to staff attorneys at circuit courts?”

We’re don’t know of such firms, but we’re not omniscient. If you know of any, please share your info in the comments. Thanks.

* Ahoy, matey. Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day! [TortsProf Blog]

* My kingdom for… $14 million? Someone tries to sell Belgium on eBay. [What About Clients?]

* If he wins his lawsuit against CBS and Viacom, Dan Rather can buy five Belgiums. [Overlawyered]

* David Bernstein on Chemerinskygate, Larry Summers, and academic freeom. [Los Angeles Times via Volokh Conspiracy]

* Ann Althouse wonders: “Speaking of upstart Taser-boy Andrew Meyer, how many Americans do you think would agree to get tased if it would get them the attention it got him?” [Althouse]

* Crime & Federalism, RIP. [Crime & Federalism via Volokh Conspiracy]

* Custom Cleaners, RIP. Roy Pearson, are you happy now? [Raw Fisher; Overlawyered; WSJ Law Blog]

Sullivan & Cromwell gives out Kiehl’s toiletries at conferences for gay law students and lawyers. But senior associates at S&C get an even better gift: cold, hard cash.

In a memo that was sent out by email within the last half hour, S&C Chairman H. Rodgin Cohen announced the creation of the “Senior Associate Supplemental Compensation Plan.”

The two-page memo appears after the jump.

Here’s a little riddle: What do these three senators have in common?

Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho)

Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska)

Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska)

First, they’re all Republican senators from underpopulated sparsely populated states.

Second, they’ve all run into ethical, legal, or political problems. You know all about Senator Craig — in fact, more than you ever wanted to. As for Senator Stevens, see here and here. As for Senator Murkowski, see here.

What’s the third thing they have in common? Find out, after the jump.

It seems that the family of this woman may have a stronger cause of action than Andrew Meyer:

A Clay County woman’s family said it’s seeking justice after their loved one died shortly after being shocked 10 times with Taser guns during a confrontation with police.

The family of 56-year-old Emily Delafield said it would take the Green Cove Springs Police Department to court, according to a WJXT-TV report….

Family attorney Rick Alexander said Delafield’s death could have been prevented and that there are four things that jump out at him about the case.

“One, she’s in a wheelchair. Two, she’s schizophrenic. Three, they’re using a Taser on a person that’s in a wheelchair, and then four is that they tasered her 10 times for a period of like two minutes,” Alexander said.

That may have been a bit much.

Wheelchair-Bound Woman Dies After Being Shocked With Taser 10 Times [Local6.com via Drudge]

Earlier: Sadly, John Kerry Wasn’t Tasered (But He Could Have Used the Electricity)

As we mentioned in passing yesterday, infamous plaintiffs’ lawyer William Learch will be pleading to a federal conspiracy charge, related to his involvement in Milberg Weiss’s secret scheme to make payments to name plaintiffs in class-action cases. Under the deal that was so skillfully cut by Lerach’s lawyer, John Keker of Keker & Van Nest, Lerach will cough up $8 million in forfeiture and fines and serve one to two years in federal prison.

Is Bill Lerach getting off easy? Quite possibly. But a judge still has to sign off on the deal.

Not surprisingly, Lerach spread his cash around liberally among several Democratic candidates for president. But his favorite was fellow plaintiffs’ lawyer John Edwards. From Ben Smith over at Politico:

Edwards and Biden each gave away money from Lerach; no word yet on whether Hillary will give back the money he gave her 2006 Senate campaign.

Edwards, though, is particularly tied to him. Though he’s giving away the $4,600 from Lerach, Lerach is also listed as a bundler, and employees of the lawyer’s firm are his third-largest group of donors, mostly giving in the first quarter.

If we had to choose between disgraced Democratic fundraisers, we’d pick Norman Hsu over Bill Lerach any day. That Hsu is so cute — he looks like a Treasure Troll! And he didn’t intend to skip out on court the other day. He was “sick and confused,” you see, and “may have thought he was boarding a Bay Area Rapid Transit train when he instead caught an Amtrak train heading out of the state.”

The Lerach Case [Politico]
Fortunes Darken for Lawyer Melvyn Weiss [New York Sun]
Bill Lerach Agrees to Plead Guilty [WSJ Law Blog]
Is Bill Lerach Getting Off Easy? [WSJ Law Blog]
Hsu Didn’t Intend To Skip Court, Spokesman Says [CBS5.com]

Last week we asked, “What’s going on with clerkship salaries and benefits?” Now we have some answers.

Yesterday the Judicial Conference issued a press release that discussed law clerk salaries, among many other subjects. Here are the money (haha) quotes:

The Conference today also voted to continue implementing its cost-containment program by adopting a series of recommendations relating to law clerks and the Judiciary’s Court Personnel System in general….

[T]he Conference agreed that each judge will be limited to one career law clerk. Those 291 career law clerks now in chambers where more than one career law clerk is employed will be able to retain their career status in those chambers, with the assent of their judge, or with another judge if their judge dies, retires, resigns or is otherwise unable to retain a law clerk. Most federal law clerks are “term” clerks and typically serve one or two years. “Career” law clerks are expected to serve four or more years. This new policy limits a term law clerk’s term of employment to no more than four years, to be applied prospectively for current term law clerks. Another step replaces law clerk salary matching with a system aimed at achieving salary parity between those law clerks who gain their work experience within the Judiciary and those who gain their experience outside the Judiciary.

For those of you who might be interested in this subject — e.g., people interviewing for clerkships this week — additional commentary appears after the jump.

You don’t have to take our word for it. Just attend “Backpack Awareness Day” at Georgetown:

Backpack Awareness Day
Join us in the Chapel Area
1:30-3:30 p.m.
September 20th

Tips to Prevent Back Problems:

- Wear both straps to distribute the weight evenly

- Wear the backpack resting evenly over the middle of the back. The backpack should not extend below the low back

- Adjust the straps so they are not too loose but still allow for free arm movement and ease in putting on and taking off the backpack

- Carry only those items needed for the day with the heaviest items closest to the back

- When selecting a backpack, choose one with

- A padded back
- Hip and chest belts
- Multiple compartments
- Reflective material to enhance visibility at night

Who knew that wearing a backpack could be so hard?

As weird Georgetown Law events go, Backpack Awareness Day isn’t as much fun as GULC’s yearly 1L moustache contest. That competition, which “renders the male 1L population even more unattractive than usual during finals period,” features “a dog show-style competition, kegs, professors judging, drunk spectators, 2L interlopers, and a Burt Reynolds commemorative plate for winner.”

But if you’re desperate for a way to procrastinate, perhaps Backpack Awareness Day will do the trick.

Moustache Law [official website]

It’s a subject of tremendous importance, since it has a major effect on the day-to-day lives of associates, but it doesn’t get talked about as much as one might expect. So to everyone going through the fall recruiting process right now, don’t be afraid to ask:

How does the law firm assign work?

It might not sound very sexy. But the assignment system employed by a law firm might determine whether you’re staying until midnight every night while the guy next door, who’s getting the same paycheck — and maybe even the same bonus, if you’re at a firm with lockstep bonuses — is leaving every day at 6 p.m.

There are many different ways that firms can handle the issue of assigning work. Some have an assigning partner (or partners); some have a non-lawyer administrator who makes assignments; some have a “free market” system. Sometimes assignments and hours are tracked by computer, and sometimes they’re not.

Please discuss the subject in the comments. To get the ball rolling, we reprint a recent memo from Bingham McCutchen that lays out their approach to the issue. You can check it out after the jump.

We’ve done relatively little about the nomination of former judge Michael Mukasey to serve as attorney general. While the WSJ Law Blog was dredging up his third-grade book reports — okay, not quite, but some college newspaper articles that he may or may not have written — we didn’t have much. But now we’d like to atone for that, with a piece we just did for the New York Observer.

We speculate that Michael Mukasey might be in D.C. longer than he might expect, especially if his good friend Rudy Giuliani wins the presidency (and possibly even if fellow New Yorker Hillary Clinton does). We discuss how he might have come to be picked as AG, despite not being a D.C. denizen like Ted Olson, Laurence Silberman, or George Terwilliger:

Mr. Mukasey was simply more of a known quantity to the White House than the typical Beltway outsider. The White House staff includes three former assistant U.S. attorneys from Manhattan, as well as other ex-New York lawyers who regularly practiced before Mukasey as a judge. Among the New Yorkers at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Mr. Mukasey enjoyed great respect, and was viewed as ideologically acceptable too, especially on war on terror issues.

The rest of the piece, including a discussion of what might be called the Curse of the Southern District (from President Bush’s point of view), is available here.

Mr. Mukasey Goes to Washington [New York Observer]
An Old Friend Joins Giuliani in a Spotlight [New York Times]

* O.J.’s really just pulling all of these stunts so that he can make it up to the Goldmans. [CNN]

* Jury hung for the moment in Spector trial; judge might send them back in to consider manslaughter instead. [BBC]

* To catch a predator-catcher. [Athens Banner-Herald]

* She needs to undergo some tests for crazy. [CNN]

* I say once you get old enough to play with it, it’s your call. [WSJ Law Blog]

In case you missed this story from last week, here’s a recap. Earlier this month, a plaintiffs’ lawyer in Montana by the name of William Managhan sent out the following email, to the entire Montana Trial Lawyers Association:

From: William L. Managhan
To: Montana Trial Lawyers
Sent: Sunday, September 09, 2007 6:32 PM
Subject: [mtla_members_all] Firm Name Change

Managhan & Kortum-Managhan Law Firm will no longer be known as such. The name is returning to Managhan Law Firm as Santana Kortum-Managhan is leaving the firm. Turns out that she was having sex with Tim McKeon of Anaconda while attending MMLP hearings in Helena.

Call me silly but I no longer fill [sic] comfortable with her as my law partner or wife. Some will think this is an inappropriate announcement, but considering the small legal community in our state, I might as well preempt the roomer mill [sic]. Please address communication to William L. Managhan through Managhan Law Firm.

More discussion, including accounts of our telephone conversations with Bobbi Bonnington and Tim of Anaconda, after the jump.

* A Manhattan hedge fund manager — who would grunt loudly, cry out “Great song!”, and yell “You go, girl” during a spin class at Equinox — was thrown into a wall. And wonders why. (The alleged assault is being prosecuted as a misdemeanor, which he’s unhappy about.) [DealBreaker]

* Speaking of pain, owww. What kind of anesthesia do they use for that? [WSJ Law Blog]

* Between Lerach and a hard place: prison. [The Recorder; New York Times]

* Before writing The Nine, Jeff Toobin tried his hand at fiction writing — but that didn’t go so well. [SCOTUSblog]

Pro bono work is near and dear to your hearts. When we posted an open thread on the subject last month, it generated a slew of comments. Like this one:

I was actually told by the partner I worked for at my firm, in no uncertain words … “If you have time to spend on matters that firm isn’t collecting fees for, then you have time that I can be giving you more work that you should be collecting fees for.” And that was my official talk on our “pro bono policy.”

Well, who says that fee-earning work and pro bono work are mutually exclusive? From the Seattle Times:

Lawyers at Davis Wright Tremaine didn’t charge a parent group for seven years of work on a U.S. Supreme Court case against Seattle Public Schools: They took the case pro bono.

But now that the firm is trying to collect $1.8 million in legal fees from the school district, several national legal experts say the term — technically, “pro bono publico,” meaning “for the public good” — may no longer apply.

The firm’s effort has put a local lens on a national debate: If attorneys get paid for pro bono work, is it still pro bono?

The full article, which lays out both sides of the argument, is quite interesting. You can check it out here.

Some argue that financially strapped school districts shouldn’t have to shell out millions of dollars to line the pockets of law firms. But others argue that making them pay fees will discourage them from violating rights in the future (and that the law firms can donate the fees to charity). Thoughts?

Billing in “pro bono” cases is fodder for ethics debate [Seattle Times]

Earlier: Biglaw Perk Watch: Pro Bono Work

Here’s a twist on clerkship bonus news, from a reader:

With all the talk about rising bonuses for domestic clerkships, I was wondering if any firms were extending bonuses for foreign clerkships. I am clerking at a major foreign supreme court in a common law country and my BigLaw firm says it only offers bonuses for US or Canadian clerkships.

So, does anyone know if firms that provide bonuses for foreign clerkships? We’re not really aware of any. But if anyone can help out this reader, please pass along info in the comments.

In response to yesterday’s quick post on the Charney v. Sullivan & Cromwell litigation, a tipster sent us this:

I don’t have any information on the case, but thought you might be interested in this minor tidbit on Sullivan & Cromwell.

The Lavender Law conference (the annual GLBT CLE fest) was in Chicago last weekend. S&C did not send anyone for the conference itself, as far as I know, but they flew in several associates just for the closing ceremonies.

They also offered the nicest swag of any firm: gift sets of Kiehl’s products. Seems they are trying to repair some damage with the gay community, even if it’s only through cosmetics.

“Only” through cosmetics? Kiehl’s products are no ordinary cosmetics. S&C is shrewd: they know the way to our hearts is through our pores.

Sure, that Aaron Charney might seem cute and well-meaning. But who wouldn’t kick him to the curb for a lifetime supply of Facial Fuel?

Correction: According to various commenters, Sullivan & Cromwell personnel were present for the job fair as well. “S&C was front-and-center at Lav Law. A friend of mine called me from the fair to tell me how pallid and haggard they looked.”

Kiehl’s [official website]

It’s me, Ernie — Nebraska state senator Ernie Chambers. And I’m suing your divine ass! From the AP:

The defendant in a state senator’s lawsuit is accused of causing untold death and horror and threatening to cause more still. He can be sued in Douglas County, the legislator claims, because He’s everywhere.

State Sen. Ernie Chambers sued God last week. Angered by another lawsuit he considers frivolous, Chambers says he’s trying to make the point that anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody.

Chambers says in his lawsuit that God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents, inspired fear and caused “widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants.”

And he pledged allegiance to Al-Qaeda, and microwaved a few pooches. Jonathan Lee Riches, holla!

What relief is Chambers seeking? The WSJ Law Blog reports:

The lawsuit seeks a permanent injunction against God, ordering him to cease certain harmful activities. Chambers asked the court to waive personal-service requirement. Because God is omniscient, he argues, he will have actual knowledge of the action.

And you thought the $54 million pants lawsuit was crazy. If God’s deposition ends up being taken, can someone ask him about the proper construction of this contractual provision?

P.S. Props to the AP reporter who conferred a Jesus-like halo upon Senator Chambers. You win the prize for Most Creative Use of an Electric Fan as a Background Element.

[AP via WSJ Law Blog]

We’re suckers for taser gun stories. Like this one, from the AP:

A University of Florida student was Tasered and arrested after trying angrily and repeatedly to ask U.S. Senator John Kerry about the 2004 election and other subjects during a campus forum….

Videos of Monday’s incident posted on several Web sites show officers pulling Andrew Meyer, 21, away from the microphone after he asks Kerry about impeaching President Bush and whether he and Bush were both members of the secret society Skull and Bones at Yale University.

“He apparently asked several questions he went on for quite awhile then he was asked to stop,” university spokesman Steve Orlando said. “He had used his allotted time. His microphone was cut off, then he became upset.”

More discussion, plus video, after the jump.

We continue our occasional series on Ex-Lawyers of the Day, with this interesting email from a Biglaw tipster:

In the interest of lawyers turned novelists turned vigilantes — this is for all of us who have received several calls an hour from headhunters — the email below deserves a mention in your blog.

Rudy Delson is a former Simpson attorney who left law firm life for fairer pastures in Brooklyn to write a novel. His book is being published today. There are lawyers in the book. I understand it may even be literature.

Here’s an explanatory email, from Delson to our tipster:

So, check this out. When I worked at Simpson, I saved the email address of every headhunter who ever contacted me. And then this morning, I was able to send them this…

Rudy Delson’s blast email / spam to the headhunters, after the jump.

* I sense a lucrative products liability niche practice area. [CNN]

* Both New Yorks sue Vioxx. [Jurist]

* ACLU takes a wide stance in favor of Larry Craig. [CNN]

* California can’t sue the car companies for breaking the planet. [New York Times]

* Lerach to plead guilty in Milberg Weiss case. [WSJ Law Blog]

Time for another installment of Lawyerly Lairs, in which we follow the high-end real estate purchases of high-profile attorneys. Today’s subject is Allen Grubman, the hotshot entertainment lawyer with oodles of celebrity clients, who has become a celebrity in his own right.

From the New York Observer:

[The Grubmans] paid $3.07 million for a condo and two storage rooms at 200 Chambers Street, a glitzy new development in Tribeca.

Their new plush place has 2,201 square feet, not including those two storage spaces. Mr. Grubman can drive down in his 1961 Jaguar convertible, a gift from his wife.

The monster Park Avenue music lawyer, whose clients include Springsteen and U2, plus Martha Stewart and Barbara Walters, might have heard about the place from his wife, Corcoran Group power broker Deborah Grubman.

Sounds pretty faboo, right? Well, not so fast. From real estate blog Curbed:

[O]ver at the Wired New York forum, they’ve been trashing the place. Writes monknyc, “The interior courtyard, with its puny waterfall, resembles the plaza design of a New Jersey suburban office building… Given the lackluster design and poor material quality, the people behind 200 Chambers Street should get up off their high horse and quit insisting that it’s a premier luxury building.”

As a celebrity lawyer, Allen Grubman understands the power of publicity. His daughter, Lizzie Grubman, is a queen of public relations (even though she’s had some bad publicity herself).

Could his purchase be intended to generate favorable buzz for 200 Chambers Street — and help move some inventory for his broker wife Deborah, who currently has two listings in the building? How long will the Grubmans hold on to their condo before flipping it? We’re pegging the over/under at about eight months.

Mom and Pop Grubman Go Downtown—The Boss’ Lawyer Buys Tribeca Condo [New York Observer]
200 Chambers St. Nearly Half Full [Curbed]
200 Chambers Street [official website]

* Don’t try doing #2 at the Larry Craig airport bathroom, unless you want tourists photographing your ankles in a “wide stance.” [BBC via Althouse; Idaho Statesman via Drudge]

* Did President Bush pick Michael Mukasey as his AG nominee to avoid a “bruising, potentially embarrassing fight” with the Democrats? Or is that analysis “way too facile”? [NYObserver.com; Marc Ambinder]

* Can New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick deduct his $500,000 fine? [TaxProf Blog via WSJ Law Blog]

* Blawg Review #126 is now available — with a heavy emphasis on business and the law (subjects of great interest to many of you). [Small Business Trends via Blawg Review]

During his tenure as attorney general, Alberto Gonzales made it a policy priority to “keep our children safe” from creeps on the internets.

As it turns out, at least one alleged creep worked for the DOJ:

A U.S. Justice Department official has been arrested on suspicion of traveling to Detroit over the weekend to have sex with a minor.

John David R. Atchison, 53, an assistant U.S. attorney from the northern district of Florida, was arraigned in U.S. District Court in Detroit Monday afternoon.

An undercover officer posed as a mother offering her child to Atchison for sex, according to police.

And it gets worse:

The detective, acting as the child’s mother, allegedly arranged a sexual encounter between Atchison and her 5-year-old daughter, police said….

The undercover detective expressed concern about physical injury to the 5-year-old girl as a result of the sexual activity. Detectives said Atchison responded, ” I am always gentle and loving; not to worry, no damage ever, no rough stuff ever. I only like it soft and nice.”

If convicted and sentenced to prison, Mr. Atchison can try that line out on his new friends behind bars. But whether they’ll give it to him “soft and nice” is open to question.

Federal Prosecutor Arrested In Child Sex Sting [ClickOnDetroit.com]

Has Quinn Emanuel’s unorthodox approach to the callback process ruffled some feathers? Maybe. Why does the firm brass keep on sending out emails about it?

Last Thursday, firm founder John Quinn sent out this email. Then, on Friday, name partner Bill Urquhart chimed in:

From: “A William Urquhart”
To: “Attorneys”
Date: Fri, 14 Sep 2007 10:38:28 -0700
Subject:

We have received several questions about the recruiting weekend at Deer Valley. Here are some answers.

Question: Who is attending the weekend?

Answer: There will be approximately 20 lawyers from the firm—both associates and partners. There will be lawyers from all the firm’s four offices.. There will be law students from Texas, Chicago, Harvard and Yale. All of them will have received call backs. As you know, the vast majority of those students invited back to our offices receive offers. If the on campus interview processes operates as intended, this number should be close to 100% because nobody should be invited back unless they meet our minimum objective standards. They should also have met our more subjective standards.

Question: How did you choose these schools?

Answer: These were the schools whose interviews were late in the recruiting season. If this experiment is successful, we may decide to have two such events next year—one in late September for the students of the schools which schedule interviews early (e.g. Columbia, Stanford, U Va, NYU, etc.).

More discussion, after the jump.

An associate at an LA law firm sent us the following language, found in the governing law/disputes section of a software license agreement:

“This agreement is governed solely and exclusively by the principles written in the Holy Bible. All disputes must be mediated by a mediator nominated by the Institute of Christian Conciliation under the Rules of Procedure for Christian Conciliation.”

Our source asks “Have you ever seen this before? How are disputes resolved? If you don’t pay the other side what you owe, are you going to hell?”

If only you had gone to Regent Law School.

This email message, from Professor Erwin Chemerinsky to Duke law school faculty and students, went out ten minutes ago.

Also, here’s some coverage from the Los Angeles Times.

————— Forwarded message —————
From: “Erwin Chemerinsky”
To: [redacted]
Date: Mon, 17 Sep 2007 13:07:53 -0400
Subject: news

It is with excitement and sadness that I am writing to tell you that I have accepted the position to be the founding dean of the Donald Bren School of Law at the University of California, Irvine. After meeting with Chancellor Michael Drake at length this weekend, I accepted his renewed offer. He provided me the greatest possible assurance of academic freedom for the dean and all faculty.

It has been one of the strangest and most difficult weeks of my life. I cannot possibly express my thanks for all of the support that I received from the law school’s faculty, administrators, and students. I am sad to be leaving this wonderful supportive community, though excited about the new challenges ahead.

Chemerinsky to return as UC Irvine law dean [Los Angeles Times]

We heard about this first from a tipster with an offer. But it’s confirmed by the firm website of Winston & Strawn:

Winston & Strawn associates who join the firm from judicial clerkships receive a clerkship bonus. Currently, the bonus paid to U.S. Court of Appeals and District Court clerks is $50,000. U.S. Supreme Court clerks receive a clerkship bonus that is competitive with the bonuses paid by other large national firms.

There’s no longer any doubt that $50K is the going rate for clerkship bonuses. But we will keep covering the subject, even if it’s not super-exciting, to encourage the firms that have yet to match to ante up.

Are you aware of clerkship bonus news that we haven’t previously reported? If so, please email us (subject line: “Clerkship Bonus Watch”). Thanks.

Judicial Clerks at Winston: Compensation & Benefits [Winston & Strawn]

Okay, so the folks over at TMZ.com don’t chase them around yet. But here at ATL, we adore legal celebrities — and invite you to send in your encounters with them, for our Eyes of the Law sightings column.

Last Friday, for lovers of legal boldface names from the left or the right, William & Mary School of Law was the place to be:

William and Mary Law School (and the College) had a series of speakers of today, all wedged into a very tight schedule. They included:

At noon, former Dean of UC Irvine School of Law Erwin Chemerinsky. Unfortunately, I didn’t go to his talk, so I can’t say whether he talked about the controversy.

At 1 PM, UC Berkley professor (and evil incarnate if you believe some blogs) John Yoo spoke. Yoo said in his introduction that he was being “wedged in” between “the former Dean of UC Irvine” and Stuart Taylor, who was speaking at 2 on his book on the Duke rape case, “Until Proven Innocent.”

We also had a panel on Saturday on “Judicial Modesty,” which included such leading lights as Dahlia Lithwick, Michael McConnell, Carter Phillips and Jeffrey Rosen. See here (PDF).

Quite the weekend for legal geeks! (Er. You know. If I was one of them).

Although this tipster wasn’t at the Chemerinsky talk, other ATL readers were. Check out this video, posted on the blog of the W&M chapter of the American Constitution Society. Isn’t Chemerinsky adorable?

Additional discussion of the Erwin Chemerinsky and John Yoo appearances, after the jump.

* GM workers take break from, um, not working. [New York Times]

* Jena 6 charges thrown out because not filed in juvenile court. [CNN]

* O.J. gets squeezed for alleged Vegas robbery. [AP via Athens Banner-Herald]

* Mukasey it is. [New York Times]

New Yorker writer Jeffrey Toobin’s exciting new book, The Nine: Inside the Secret World of the Supreme Court, is being released tomorrow. But it’s already provoking some interesting discussion in the blogosphere. See, e.g., this post by Professor Rick Garnett (esp. the comments).

And it’s garnering some favorable reviews. The dean of the Supreme Court press corps, Nina Totenberg of NPR, has given The Nine her blessing.

How does The Nine compare to other recent books about the Supreme Court? Here is Totes’s take:

Jeffrey Rosen’s book about famous court personalities and rivalries is an interesting history packed into a professorial thesis. [A] biography of Justice Clarence Thomas by the Washington Post’s Kevin Merida and Michael Fletcher is a credible, but limited, look at the justice. In addition, Thomas himself was paid a reported $1 million to write a book that is slated to come out this fall.

If you’re interested in the Supreme Court as an institution and as a collection of personalities, though, Toobin’s is the book to read.

Hey Nina, what about the book by that rather attractive lady reporter?

Supreme Conflict, by ABC’s Jan Crawford Greenburg, contains a fair amount of good conservative gossip about the nomination of Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Samuel Alito, but it lacks the balance, substance, and context of Toobin’s book.

Ouch. Jan, remember all those nice things you had to say about Nina? Care to take any of them back?

Toobin’s ‘The Nine’ Reveals Politics of High Court [NPR]
“The Nine” [PrawfsBlawg]

Earlier: In Defense of Nina: Jan Crawford Greenburg

Are you wondering what’s going on in the case of Aaron Charney v. Sullivan & Cromwell? You’re not alone.

We went to check the case’s status on the electronic docket, but couldn’t find the case by party name or by index number (Charney v. Sullivan & Cromwell LLP: 100625/2007; Sullivan & Cromwell LLP v. Charney: 600333/2007). This caused us to wonder: Has the litigation been settled?

Apparently not. Sources close to the case tell us that it hasn’t been settled and that there was a court hearing not too long ago. We don’t have more details, but if we get them, we’ll pass them along.

So what can we tell you?

1. S&C Man of Mystery Gera Grinberg — perhaps the critical witness in this case, who left the firm under mysterious circumstances — had his birthday last month. A reader pointed us to his attorney registration information on the New York courts website.

This tipster also noted that Grinberg’s attorney registration status was recently updated, but does not list an employer. This suggests he has not yet found new employment since leaving 125 Broad Street. Does anyone know where he might be?

2. Could the Charney case be affecting S&C’s recruiting this year? Possibly. We reprint an interesting tip, suggesting that it’s affecting the firm’s reputation, after the jump.

Do you have any inside info on the latest developments in the Charney case? If so, please drop us a line. Thanks.

No official announcement has been made (despite the claim of Wikipedia that “[o]n September 16, 2007, President George W. Bush nominated Mukasey to serve as the 81st Attorney General of the United States”). But numerous news outlets are reporting that President Bush has selected Michael B. Mukasey — currently a partner at Patterson Belknap Webb & Tyler in New Yorker, and former chief judge of the S.D.N.Y. — as his attorney general nominee, to replace Alberto Gonzales.

We’ll have more to say after an official announcement, which could come as early as tomorrow morning. In the meantime, read Judge Mukasey’s interesting, frequently cited Wall Street Journal op-ed piece, on the Jose Padilla case (which he handled in part).

If you have firsthand experience with Judge Mukasey — e.g., as a litigant who has appeared before him, or as one of his law clerks — please share your thoughts in the comments, or by email. Thanks.

Bush plans to pick Mukasey for A.G. [Politico.com]
Bush Settles on Mukasey to Replace Gonzales [Washington Post]
Bush Expected to Name Judge as Gonzales’s Successor [New York Times]
Judge Top Contender to Replace Gonzales: Aide [Reuters]
Bush Picks Mukasey as Attorney General [AP]
Sources: Retired judge may replace Gonzales [CNN]
Jose Padilla Makes Bad Law [Wall Street Journal]
Michael B. Mukasey [Wikipedia]

We reminded you on Friday, but we fear our post got lost in the shuffle. If you’re part of the plaintiff class in the Bar/Bri class action — and since you’re reading ATL, you probably are — then the deadline for filing your proof of claim is this Monday, September 17. So if you want your $125 or so, you need to act now.

Is the settlement a good deal? We largely agree with this commenter:

That settlement is a disgrace. The plaintiff class was sold up the river…. But I’ll take the money and run.

Just like most of you (see poll results), we filed a claim, knowing that we’re being undercompensated. And knowing that we’re acting against the advice of The Legal Diva — a named plaintiff in the case who now opposes the settlement. From The Recorder:

Loredana Nesci, a 2005 graduate of Quinnipiac College School of Law in Connecticut, said lead attorney Eliot Disner initially convinced her he’d built a strong case against BAR/BRI and would seek to break the company apart. “We were promised the moon and stars by Disner,” she said.

But Nesci said everything changed after Disner’s former firm — Los Angeles’ Van Etten Suzumoto & Becket — was acquired by McGuireWoods.

“After that merger, I think that McGuireWoods took Eliot, gagged him [and now] he’s in a basement in their firm, because I can’t find the guy,” said Nesci, now a practicing attorney based in Studio City.

It seems that the Legal Diva — er, Ms. Nesci — was right about Disner. Her “gagged in a basement” comment appeared in a February 2007 article. A few months later, in May 2007, Eliot Disner was fired by McGuireWoods (after he criticized the settlement).

For more on her Diva-ness, check out her website, which is a real trip. Her bio describes her past work as a police officer for the LAPD, explains how she earned the title of “Legal Diva,” and boasts of how she was “quickly gaining notoriety for being a colorful and cunning attorney.” It also mentions that she “enjoys working with feral cats,” which sounds apropos for a Legal Diva. MEOW!

(See especially the super-cute testimonials from her clients, including Doug Smith, at right. We don’t want to know what types of matters she handled for him….)

Bar/BRI Class Action Litigation [official website]
The Legal Diva: Loredana Nesci [official website]
$49M Disappoints Some in Lawyers’ Class [The Recorder]

Earlier: A Friendly Reminder: The BAR/BRI Proof of Claim Deadline Is Monday!

As promised, here’s an update on the recent, sudden passing of a first-year student at Yale Law School. From the Yale Daily News (which we alerted to the story):

A first-year Yale Law School student was found dead in his apartment Thursday night.

“From what we know at this point, we only have reason to believe he died of natural cases [sic],” Yale Law School Dean Harold Koh said in an address to the entire law school community Friday afternoon. “We need to draw on our sense of community.”

More details — although not many more, since right now so much is unknown — appear in Andrew Mangino’s article.

Our condolences go out to the family of this student and to the Yale Law School community.

Update (9/15, 2:30 PM): Additional information appears in this YDN article, as well as in this Facebook group.

Law student found dead in apartment [Yale Daily News]
Joseph Hanzich LAW ‘10 found dead in apartment Thursday [Yale Daily News]
For Joey Hanzich, In Memory and Love [Facebook]

Earlier: Breaking: Yale Law School First-Year Found Dead
What’s Up At Yale Law School?

* Can a shoe infringe on copyright? [Fashionista]

* Maybe there IS such a thing as bad publicity. Business ain’t so hot for “TB Andy” right now. [WSJ Law Blog]

* Some Chemerinskygate updates. [TaxProf Blog; TaxProf Blog]

* Thinking of a career as a professional blogger? Read this first. [Career Journal]

I was just trying to get back my own stuff. From Fox 5 (Las Vegas):

Authorities are still investigating whether a gun was used when O.J. Simpson and others entered a Las Vegas hotel room and, after a heated argument, walked off with sports memorabilia.

The incident was reported to police during a 9-1-1 call as an “armed robbery,” though Simpson claims no break in or crime was committed and he was simply retrieving his own possessions.

And then he drove off in a white Bronco.

Okay, not really — but the story is similarly bewildering. It seems O.J. was engaged in a bit of self-help, conducting a “sting” operation against collectors he believed were in possession of sports memorabilia that really belonged to him. But it’s not clear how the collectors came into possession of the memorabilia in the first place.

If you care about this story — we’re trying hard, but not really feeling it — the AP has more details here.

Theft Probe: Police Question O.J. Simpson, Search For Gun [Fox 5]
Simpson Named Suspect in Casino Break-In [Associated Press via Las Vegas Review-Journal]

Are you a Department of Justice employee? If so, why are you at your desk? Shouldn’t you be at the festivities in honor of Alberto Gonzales’s last day?

DOJ employees are invited to attend the Farewell Ceremony for Alberto R. Gonzales, 80th Attorney General of the United States. The ceremony will be held at 3:00 p.m., on Friday, September 14, 2007, in the Great Hall. For those unable to attend, the ceremony will be aired on JusticeVision and Justice Television Network.

It won’t be as riveting as the Monica Goodling testimony. But then again, what is?

Update (5 PM): A tipster who was there writes: “Just came from the ‘Farewell Celabration.’ Condi, who led the standing ovations, and Chertoff were the only non-Justice ppl from the Administration. Neither spoke.”

In other DOJ departure news, Regina Schofield — the (non-attorney) Assistant Attorney General overseeing the Office of Justice Programs — recently announced her resignation, effective September 28.

More here from Wonkette, whose commenters described her as “kinda hot.” Our Justice Department sources concur, describing her as someone who “takes care of herself” and is always “perfectly coiffed.” She’s also reportedly on the quiet side, perhaps unusual for an AAG, which makes her seem “alternately shy or imperious.” (So she’s no Shanetta Cutlar, who’s 0 percent shy and 100 percent imperious.)

If you’re curious, Regina Schofield’s full resignation message appears after the jump.

Top DoJ Official Resigns V Quietly [Wonkette]
Today Is Gonzo’s Last Day At DOJ [WSJ Law Blog]
Gonzales Ready to Leave the Stage [Washington Post]
Assistant Attorney General Regina B. Schofield Announces Departure [U.S. Department of Justice]
Remarks of Attorney General Alberto R. Gonzales Announcing His Resignation [U.S. Department of Justice]

We’re not very popular lately. You don’t like our freelance writing, you don’t like our photo selection, you don’t like our YLS coverage.

That’s fine; as longtime bloggers, we’re used to crit