October 2014

Jenna Jameson How to Make Love Like a Porn Star Above the Law blog.jpgEarlier this week, we explained why you shouldn’t file gay pornography with Judge Adalberto Jordan. No word on whether straight porn is okay with His Honor.
It seems we’re not the only ones with porn on the mind. Check out the the links collected below. In the past day or two, smut has been a major theme in the legal news and blogosphere.
What’s going on? Why is everyone feeling so frisky as of late?
A Prosecution Tests the Definition of Obscenity [New York Times]
Lawyer Admits Destroying Evidence of Pornography [New York Times]
The Origins of Justice Stewart’s “I Know It When I See It” [WSJ Law Blog]
How to make a federal judge really angry [Southern District of Florida Blog]
Earlier: ATL Practice Pointers: Do Not File Gay Porn With Judge Jordan

Chelsea Clinton Osso Bucco Nino Selimaj Above the Law blog.jpg* Ann Althouse on the Chelsea Clinton restaurant photo controversy from earlier this week: “‘We reserve the right to exercise any and all options available to us.’ What kind of crap is that?” [Althouse]
* Our apologies to Brian Dalton of Vault for the snark from earlier today. How were we to know that a New York Times reporter would screw up a quote so badly? [Void for Vagueness]
* During a little over a year at Patterson Belknap, Michael Mukasey apparently earned about $1.9 million. And he wants to be AG to a lame-duck president, for a little over a year, because… [Bloomberg News via WSJ Law Blog]
* Congratulations to Hofstra on its #1 status! (Among tier 3 and tier 4 faculties.) [TaxProf Blog]
* John Carney argues that SEC chairman Chris Cox should reject the new proposed proxy access rule, which would actually harm ordinary investors. That Carney, he’s so contrarian. [DealBreaker]
* Are you a young lawyer looking for financial advice? Check this out. [WSJ Law Blog]

Courtesy of ATL’s career partner, Lateral Link, here is the latest Job of the Week:
Company: Osiris Therapeutics, Inc. (Columbia, Maryland)
Position Description: The medical care company, which commercializes products from adult bone marrow, seeks a Chief Intellectual Property Counsel to work in Columbia, Maryland. As the successful candidate will manage the company’s IP-related matters, the position requires 6+ years of experience, with a law firm and/or biotechnology corporate environment; a scientific background, preferably a Ph.D. in a biological or chemical field; admission to a State bar and the U.S. Patent & Trademark office; and experience with preparation and prosecution of patents (U.S. and foreign).
Location: Columbia, Maryland
Earlier: Prior Job of the Week listings (scroll down)


Wayne State University Law School Above the Law blog.jpgThis email exchange is rapidly making the rounds. It doesn’t rise to the level of Dianna Abdala, but it’s not bad — and perfectly suitable for a slow Friday afternoon.
The tipster who sent it to us introduced it as follows:

This is pretty funny. It goes to show you that tier four students are just as entitled and obnoxious as their tier one counterparts!

Here’s the first email, from a student at Wayne State University Law School (who shall remain nameless; please keep him that way):

From: [redacted]
Sent: Friday, September 21, 2007 9:05 AM
To: [Partner at four-person law firm]
Subject: Interview?
Sir, let me begin by noting that I understand your time is very valuable
and I anticipate that your work day is very hectic. However, my time is
valuable to me and sitting at the interview location waiting for you has
resulted in a fantastic waste of a potentially productive Friday
morning.
I was very interested in your firm. I believe that there are many ways
of becoming a good lawyer, and felt that employment at your firm would
be one of them. Though I find myself being pushed in the direction of
the large firms as a result of my grades, I had high hopes that getting
involved in a smaller and yet equally productive camp would be the best
fit for me. Sadly, it seems that I will not find out if my suspicions
were correct.
I realize I am just an naive law student in your eyes but I assure you
sir that a day will come when I command a level of respect that would
make [sic] idea of standing me up unimaginable. As I was your first interview
this morning I feel that a phone call was in order from your end. Good
luck with the rest of your interviews.
Sincerely,
[redacted]

Right now you might be thinking, “Good for you, Wayne State Guy! Just because you go to a Tier Four doesn’t mean you can be jerked around.”
But the truth turns out to be more complex. Read the partner’s response, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Tier Four Law Students: They Can Be Pissy Bitches, Too”

Eric Krautheimer 2 Eric M Krautheimer Aaron Charney Sullivan & Cromwell Above the Law blog.jpgWe’ve been having a lot of fun with Non-Top-Tier Law School Week here at ATL. So we’re extending it, to include all of next week. As we mentioned before, if you have a story idea that fits under this theme, please email us.
As part of this special celebration, each day we’re going to highlight a successful non-top-tier law school graduate, and honor this person as our Non-Top-Tier Law School Graduate of the Day.
Here is today’s winner:
Name: Eric M. Krautheimer
Law School: Western New England College School of Law, 1993
Current Position: Partner, Mergers & Acquisitions, Sullivan & Cromwell
Why He’s Our Winner: Eric Krautheimer is a partner at S&C, one of the world’s most prestigious and profitable law firms. In 2006, profits per partner at S&C clocked in at $2.82 million. Innumerable Harvard-Yale-Stanford grads would KILL to be in his shoes.
The best part of his job: (allegedly) ordering a prissy little Columbia boy to “bend over” and take it (where “it” = a corporate document).
Talk about living the non-top-tier dream!

prostitute intern tramp Judge Ann Lokuta Above the Law blog.jpgHow have we not heard of her before? She’s fabulous! And for reasons that will soon become obvious, a Pennsylvania state court jurist, Luzerne County Judge Ann Lokuta, is today’s Judge of the Day.
From the Citizens Voice:

A former intern of Luzerne County Judge Ann Lokuta testified tonight the jurist called her a tramp for wearing a sleeveless shirt to work.

Rebecca Sammon took the stand in Lokuta’s misconduct trial and described another incident where Lokuta yelled at her for being nice on the phone.

Awesome. And there’s more:

Prothonotory Jill Moran testified lawyers got yelled at for clicking pens or writing too loudly in Lokuta’s courtroom. Prothonotary clerk Maura Cusick said Lokuta was either a good judge or a wicked judge.

A dichotomy couldn’t be more false: a wicked judge IS a good judge. The Honorable Ann Lokuta is a delicious judicial diva.
[Ed. note: Yes, we just learned what "prothonotary" means too. See here.]
More obscure terms for judicial staff members, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Judge Ann Lokuta: My Intern Is a Tramp”

Texas map Abovethelaw Above the Law blog.jpgOur last open thread on year-end bonuses, focused on San Francisco, generated a healthy number of comments. Like this one:

Where’s the TEXAS bonus thread? Texas is definitely ahead of SF/SV when it comes to biglaw. With the various carpetbagger firms paying NY bonuses and the Bigtex firms paying anywhere from nothing to 80k, I think Texas deserves some discussion.

We’re not going to get involved in the pissing contest. But we’re happy to provide you with this post, in which you can discuss and speculate about law firm bonuses in TEXAS. Enjoy.
Earlier: Year-end bonus open threads for New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Boston, San Francisco, and Washington, DC.

Clarence Thomas 2 Justice Clarence Thomas Above the Law blog.jpgEd. notes: First, B. Clerker is unavailable this morning, so we’re doing Morning Docket ourselves. Second, by the time you read this, we’ll be attending this event. But we’ve arranged for previously written posts (like this one) to be published in our absence.
* John Edwards tries to put a noble spin on the financial desperation of his flailing campaign. Stick a fork in him; he’s done. [WP; NYT]
* Jena One released on bail. [AP]
* Fourteen “high-value” terrorism suspects will be allowed to request lawyers. KSM will use his to sue Teleflex. [WP]
* In Pakistan, the Supreme Court gets involved in elections too. From the gallery: “Go, Musharraf, go!” [AP via WP]
* Set your TiVo, judicial groupies: Justice Thomas will be on 60 Minutes this Sunday. Thankfully, his interview — in which he’s rumored to call Anita Hill “a nappy-headed ho” — doesn”t conflict with the season premiere of Desperate Housewives. [WSJ Law Blog]

Quinn Emanuel Ivy Ivey recruiting video Above the Law blog.GIFThis morning’s New York Times has a painfully earnest article about law firm recruiting videos. It’s not a particularly juicy piece; they should have called us for comment (’cause we “give good quote”).
But it’s still neat to see Biglaw getting a shout-out in the NYT. Here’s the lede:

Law firms have discovered YouTube.

Well, actually, they have discovered that the law students they are trying to recruit as summer associates watch YouTube, the popular video Web site.

Several firms are trying to parlay that discovery into a hiring tool, creating recruiting videos and Web sites with the look and feel of YouTube. The firms hope to persuade students that their lawyers, and by extension the firms, are young-thinking and hip.

Okay, that didn’t say anything that ATL readers don’t already know. We weren’t surprised to see the byline of crack reporter Karen Donovan, author of that publicist-generated puff piece Pulitzer-worthy profile of Gallion & Spielvogel.
But the article gets a little better as it goes along. More after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Law Firm Videos: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid”

LEWW logo.jpgSo LEWW was at a wedding the other weekend, and who should plunk down next to us but a reporter for the NYT Vows section! It was a deeply emotional, humbling experience — like being face-to-face with Gandhi, or Bono — but after we recovered, we waved our ATL press credentials and had a nice chat with the correspondent.
Turns out it was her first Vows column, so we briefed her on the most basic rules of Vows column writing: Make sure you refer to the bride, groom, or both as “honest,” “courageous,” “spirited,” or “down-to-earth,” etc., and definitely include at least one forced simile (“as white as a sun-bleached seashell” is good; “as grounded and unshakable as a redwood” is a two-fer!).
We can’t wait to read about that wedding in this coming weekend’s NYT, but in the meantime, we have two weeks worth of LEWW to catch you up on. Here are our featured couples:

1.) Kate Edmonds and Alex Donner
2.) Denise Delgado and Keith Kerman
3.) Fell Ogden and Charles Gray Jr.
4.) Daisy Wademan and Luc Dowling
5.) Deecy Gray and Douglas Ginsburg
6.) Aielleen Fajardo and Stefan Schick

More about these couples, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Legal Eagle Wedding Watch 9.16.07 and 9.23.07″

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