ATL Practice Pointers: Do Not File An Egg with Judge Muirhead
Is this litigation kosher? You bet. From Vos Iz Neias (Yiddish: "What's News"):
A New Hampshire prison inmate's file drove a federal judge to rhyme to express himself.A prison inmate protesting his [non-Kosher] diet attached a hard-boiled egg to documents sent by mail to U.S. District Court Judge James Muirhead.
"I do not like eggs in the file. I do not like them in any style. I will not take them fried or boiled. I will not take them poached or broiled. I will not take them soft or scrambled Despite an argument well-rambled," Muirhead wrote in his response to inmate Charles Wolffe.
Wolffe, 61, says he is an Orthodox Jew and has accused prison officials of refusing to feed him a kosher diet. He is seeking... proper foods and $10 million from the state. His case has been scheduled for a trial.
More discussion, plus the full text of Judge Muirhead's order, after the jump.
Here's another nice detail:
Among other things, [Wolff] alleges the prison's director of food services, Jeff Perkins, took him off a kosher diet after coming to believe that Wolff had eaten non-kosher ice cream (Wolff claims the ice cream was indeed kosher).
And here's the order:
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P.S. We see that the WSJ Law Blog beat us to this story. See here. But since we already had this post drafted, we're publishing it. So there.
Egg Attached to Documents Sent to Court Drives Judge to Rhyming Ruling [Voz Iz Neias]
(23) Comments
That's brutal. Well, he just killed any chance he had of being appointed an Article III judge. At least I would hope so.
Lat - how about at DC bonus thread?
for those wondering about how the egg was stored, here is the docket entry:
MOTION for Contempt/Perjury of certain prison employees filed by Charles Jay Wolff. Served on 9//13/07. Follow up on Objection on 10/4/2007. Certain exhibit(s) maintained conventionally in Clerks Office (hard boiled egg). (Attorney filers must submit conventional materials to the court within 72 hours.) (Attachments:, # 1 Exhibit 1 - 9/3/07 Inmate Request Slips)(mxm) (Entered: 09/17/2007)
The "court" of which he speaks in his discussion of "banning" further eggs, is the United States District Court. He is a magistrate and cannot issue such "orders."
How many of YOU are federal judges? How many are even magistrate judges? Until you get a better job than him, you have no business looking down on him. You probably only wish you were good-humored enough to write something like this.
Now I remember why I hated law school.
Worse than the doggerel of William Topaz McGonagall, acclaimed Worst Poet of Scotland.
You guys are all pedantic, pathetic losers. I mean what a bunch of self-important pricks. This guy got creative and had some fun - WHO THE FUCK CARES. I mean has bigfirm life so sucked the humor and life out of you dweebs that you're reduced to mocking a man who added a little silliness into the drab obnoxious world of law? I mean WTF?!?! One too many wedgies as a kid or something? I mean I know you guys were mercilessly picked on as children and all and just love to get your "revenge" on the mere mortals out there, but get a life. Really - go - go now, get a girl, a good looking one, and have sex with her. Put down the video game paddles or the newest addition of your favorite law journal and go PLAY a sport (as opposed to drooling over the latest fantasy football states). Go grab a beer - go work out. DO SOMETHING!! But for God's sake, go - get a life!!
that is awesome. i wish that my habeas files came attached with eggs and a bit of judicial humor.
2:35 - meet kettle.
1:56: Being a judge is a serious endeavor. Even a magistrate judge. That's why I don't approve of a judge issuing opinions that mock petitioners. If he wants to write shitty little poems, maybe he should take a pseudonym and become a blogger.
Oh wait, if he did that, noone would give a fuck or read his stupid little ditties, would they?
The only thing that makes his belittling quips notable is that he wraps it in the majesty of the federal judicial system. That's not funny, it's pathetic.
obviously you are all humorless douchebags- that was great! Bravo.
He's a pro se litigant, and he LITERALLY filed an EGG, just how seriously should we and the magistrate take this case? We're not talking Brown v. Board here, you humorless asshats.
Haha. I love it. Judges can have a sense of humor. It is refreshing.
I want to inflict grievous bodily inury upon 3:05 and 1:49
1:28, 1:49, 3:05 -
You, sirs (or madames), are assclowns.
This is great. Were it something other than a Seuss reference this would be like one of those 19th century American history curios.
Orders so dictated,
Lead to ego's much inflated,
and to plantiffs agitated,
as the rule is poorly stated.
as precedent's created
(and the humour is so dated)
he is more than rightly hated,
and his work should not be feted
I interned for Judge Muirhead at the DNH in the summer. He is a really great guy with a funny sense of humor. This doesn't surprise me. He always works really hard to make sure that prisoners are treated fairly but strictly, so it is great that he wrote this poem.
@1:56 (former summer intern) You don't know Judge Muirhead. He works very hard to protect the rights of pro se litigants, and even has a full time clerk who deals directly with their cases and makes sure their views are adequately protected and expressed. He has no interests in being flippant with them, and treats them very respectfully.
@3:05 (former summer intern from post above) You don't know Judge Muirhead. He works very hard to protect the rights of pro se litigants, and even has a full time clerk who deals directly with their cases and makes sure their views are adequately protected and expressed. He has no interests in being flippant with them, and treats them very respectfully.
@3:05 (former summer intern from post above) You don't know Judge Muirhead. He works very hard to protect the rights of pro se litigants, and even has a full time clerk who deals directly with their cases and makes sure their views are adequately protected and expressed. He has no interests in being flippant with them, and treats them very respectfully.
@3:05 (former summer intern from post above) You don't know Judge Muirhead. He works very hard to protect the rights of pro se litigants, and even has a full time clerk who deals directly with their cases and makes sure their views are adequately protected and expressed. He has no interests in being flippant with them, and treats them very respectfully.
My apologies for multiple posts. I had server problems and it was not clear it had gone through. I meant to respond to 3:05.
Thank you.