ATL Practice Pointers: Do Not File Gay Porn With Judge Jordan
When it comes to knowing how to make proper court filings, don’t bother with the FRCP, or even the local rules. Just read ATL.
We tell you everything you need to know. E.g., don’t file an egg with Judge James Muirhead (D.N.H.).
And don’t file gay pornography with Judge Adalberto Jordan (S.D. Fla.). From GamePolitics.com:
That gurgling sound you hear could be Jack Thompson’s legal career swirling down the ‘loo.The frequent video game critic, already facing professional misconduct charges from the Florida Bar which could see him stripped of his license to practice law, has outraged a U.S. District Court judge by including images of men having sex in a document filed with the court last week.
What was he thinking? And no, the gay porn was not essential to the case (as it might have been in, say, an obscenity prosecution arising out of said porn).
More details — if you want them — after the jump.
Jack Thompson wanted to smear one of his nemeses, Norm Kent, a criminal defense attorney who also happens to publish the National Gay News website. GamePolitics explains:
[Norm Kent] was criticized by Thompson in last week’s court filing for “distribution of hardcore porn to anyone of any age.”Not content to make that alleged point in writing, Thompson attached several gay porn pictures to his motion with Judge Jordan. The pictures apparently do not come directly from the National Gay News site, but rather are contained on sites linked from NGN’s adult links section.
So how did this all go over with Judge Jordan?
His Honor was not amused.In an order issued on Monday, Judge Jordan directed Thompson to show cause as to why he should not face sanctions, including possible contempt charges. Judge Jordan wrote:
“The attached exhibit, which includes several graphic images of oral and genital sex between adult males, was filed electronically in the docket in this case, without prior permission from the court…”
“To the extent that the other attorney’s alleged conduct is in any way relevant… there was no need for Mr. Thompson to file these graphic images in the public record. A simple reference to the website and its alleged links would have sufficed…”
Some writing teachers tell their pupils: “Show, don’t tell.” But this probably wasn’t what they had in mind.
How did Jack Thompson respond to this benchslap?
In the wake of Judge Jordan’s order, Thompson has filed (at last count) four responses. In the first, he proclaims that he is ready to go to jail over the issue:“Thompson may have more to say in his own defense as to his alleged contemptuous behavior, but at this juncture, with all respect, he does not apologize for nor regret what he has done… if this court desires to throw Thompson into jail for trying to sound the alarm in this dramatic fashion… then Thompson is prepared to go there.”
We hope that Thompson actually likes gay porn — ‘cause if he goes to jail, he could end up starring in some of it himself.
Judge Spanks Jack Thompson for Including Gay Porn with Court Filing [GamePolitics.com]
Earlier: ATL Practice Pointers: Do Not File An Egg with Judge Muirhead
(44) Comments
Comments
Wow. That lawyer is insane. How could he possibly think that that was appropriate??? Wow.... Just.... Wow.
First?
So I take it straight porn would also be appropriate to include in materials related to a child porn case?
So I take it straight porn would also be appropriate to include in materials related to a child porn case?
Oh, and FIRST.
Not sure what those last two comments are trying to say.
If you're going to be obtuse, the least you could do is limit it to one post.
Straight porn is appropriate in any case dumbass, or didn't you take civ pro?
Not a surprise if you've been paying any attention to video game news in the last year. Mr. Thompson is, in fact, a crazy person.
Sounds like a dink. Throw the guy in the clinker and move to disbar. (And keep him away from Judge Ungaro.)
I can't believe that no one has made a Clarence Thomas joke yet.
Can't think of a good one at the moment, but still surprised.
Lat wrote: "We hope that Thompson actually likes gay porn -- 'cause if he goes to jail, he could end up starring in some of it himself."
Oh, I get it! He might get raped by male prisoners! Ha ha! Rape is so funny! Man, I can't stop laughing!
Lighten up, 10:04. The 'butt-sex in prison' joke is as old as,...well,... butt-sex itself.
So I haven't come across any explicit pictures yet, but one case did have a thorough list of adult film titles that were at issue.
Best part is that they would only star (i.e. A**) some of the words that you find offensive but most made it through.
Hey it made reading the motion entertaining.
10:04 = ex-prisoner who can't ride bikes any more cause it hurts too much
Totally unrelated to this thread, but I wanted to ask the general ATL community a question: I'm a 2L at a top ten school. I interviewed with a prominent DC firm a tad outside of my GPA range, and the interview went extremely well. The interview was conducted several weeks ago. Several of my friends have gotten email dings. I don't know of anyone who's gotten a callback, but I'm sure folks are out there. I haven't heard a peep. What does it mean?
12:38: Have you checked your spam filter?
12:40- I'm 99% sure I haven't received an email from them. Did a search for pertinent words and nothing came up.
Strange. You might want to email or call recruiting early next week if you haven't heard anything by then.
12:55, I think that's probably a good idea. I'm wondering if I'm on some kind of a waiting list.
Lat has it wrong. According to Chris Rock, prisoners make their "bitches" toss salad because the salad tossers can't pretend that they are doing something different...or something like that. Yeah, I'm drunk, so what?
Mike Vick gonna toss my salad...
12:38: you should check in with their recruiting department next week, but it's actually not that unusual. I got freaked out my 2L year when I hadn't heard back from my top-choice firm for over a month, and finally accepted another offer. Two hours later I got the call with the offer from my top choice. Sigh. Sometimes they like you but just need to figure out their needs before they can make a final decision.
Lat, this is EXACTLY why I read ATL faithfully! Keep up the good work!
-- ET!
Been before Judge Jordan. Not the type of judge you want angry at you. I would expect a comptempt order and stiff (no pun intended) sanctions.
"We hope that Thompson actually likes gay porn -- 'cause if he goes to jail, he could end up starring in some of it himself."
Really, Lat?
I expect more from you.
Lighten up 9:19 and 10:04. That was funny.
Rape is not funny.
It's pretty well known in the gaming community that Thompson is off his rocker. Hit Google for more of his shenanigans.
10:02 ... clearly, some people disagree. You like trite, tired, uncreative jokes. Some of us don't.
And Lat's "delivery" here was especially lame, since, you know, there's no filming of the sex in prisons (except in the Philippines).
Prison rape jokes are kind of tasteless but not the sort of thing I normally would get too upset about. But, Lat, you're a former federal prosecutor. Someone who used to send people to jail for a living ought to to treat prisoners with a little more respect, I would think.
Jack Thompson deserves a life of violent prison rape. He is a blight on society.
"We hope that Thompson actually likes gay porn -- 'cause if he goes to jail, he could end up starring in some of it himself."
----------------------
Lamest. Joke. Ever.
(Especially coming from a boy-kisser like Lat.)
Another vote for "rape is not funny." While I'm expousing controversial positions, I'll also admit that I don't find Holocaust or sudden infant death syndrome jokes funny either.
Click on the link below to see Wikipedia's astonishingly long profile of dear Mr. Thompson. For those who hadn't heard of him before, skim this to get a hint of what a fucking lunatic he is. I'm really hoping he gets disbarred. At least then all he'll be able to do is make his asinine press releases but won't be able to file on behalf of clients (but could go pro se I guess)
Oh get over it. It was a funny joke.
I bet all of you "rape is not funny" people prefer jelly. Am I right?
Lat: Running a humorous (or even quasi-humorous blog) for lawyers is a thankless task.
Your readers are either (1) humorless, in which case they won't get your jokes, or (2) convinced that they're smarter and funnier than you, in which case they'll tell you how to rewrite your jokes.
I wonder how many people defending prison rape jokes would feel the same way about jokes about female prisoners being raped by guards? Hilarious, right?
People in prision deserve to be raped.
Rape can be funny.
That guy in the picture is taking it like a champ
NOBODY IS SAYING RAPE IS FUNNY, prison or otherwise, including Lat. He was simply making a joke about the fact that this guy is going to jail for contempt. Learn to not take life so seriously and to look for controversy in every marginally edgy thing that is written, for goodness sake.
4:04,
How is making a joke about rape not "saying rape is funny"? (emphasis omitted).
Morons... all of you rape-lovers, including you, Lat.
You have got to read these guys mission statement, it's classic
Our talented team specializes in reinforcing brand identity, marketing, and promotion across all media including web, print, and video. The Cuttlefish Designs team would be happy to design or re-design high impact business cards, logos, brochures, T-shirts, websites, DVD/CD packages, television commercials,... Just about any visual marketing material for you and your employees.
Keeping it simple and providing all the tools it takes to build your corporate identity and market your services. Cuttlefish Designs offers a wide range of creative yet affordable solutions to individuals and businesses.
As designers and artists we strive to ensure that your visual materials accurately portray the impression that you set out to create. The dance of art and design is a subtle and subconscious language that transcends all spoken messages. If a picture is truly worth a thousand words, we produce tomes of information conveyed at a glance. Don't know why you like what you like, you just do? We know why, and why your customers do too.
You are ready to improve the look of your promotional materials and design new ones. You want your clients say to themselves, "Hey, I know you!"
First and foremost, you need your customers to find you. Without them walking through your front door, there is no need for you to be in business. Most people are as dumb as rocks when it comes to knowing what they like. “I don’t know why I like it. I just do.” They stumble about their daily lives, believing they are in complete control, when in fact they are waiting to be told what to do. With our promotional material backing your products, you stand with megaphone in hand; ready to direct these lemmings to buy your product or they will somehow be less human with out it.
Understanding that American society contains the densest population of the laziest people in one place, besides that God forsaken waste of terra firma known as Hawaii, is the first step to locating your clients/consumers and understanding their spending habits. Pandering to their every double standard is why we are so successful at this game.
Cuttlefish Designs’ semi intuitive approach to understanding this emblazoned ideal is our armor and your cunning as an apex predator whilst swimming in a sea of leaches and sharks.
Keep them wanting more. Never justify, simply smokescreen and camouflage while moving in for the next kill. That’s how the big boys do it. Why not you?
Yes, there is a way to move like this, even in a shaky market like today. We will hold your hand through this entire process, as we gently open your wallet. You need to spend money to make money. You need to spend obscene amounts of money to rule the world… unless we’re on your side. We’ll knock 15%off!!
Our policy of “take no prisoners” and “kickin’ ass and takin’ names” is why we are your pit bull in a world of Jehovah’s Witnesses. (Joe’s Witches as we affectionately call them).
Under no circumstance will we give up on your complete lack of understanding of anything pertinent to the subject of art and design. We know what is hot and that is all that you need to know.
We're Cuttlefish Designs and we're here for YOU... www.cuttlefishdesigns.com