second!

My secretary does all the changes I make to the corporate documents for our M&A practice. Also, she makes changes, at my direction, for all litigation documents to be filed in District Court. She does my time, plans my calendar and books my flights.

Many years ago, as a summer associate, I had sex with my secretary--- Talk about an awkward Monday morning!

Is it appropriate to have your secretary do your holiday cards (esp. if some of the people on the list are business contacts)?

In addition to the items laid out in 1:47's comment, my secretary also handles my mail, processes expenses, maintains my filing system, and does my Christmas cards.

so can someone please educate me on the origin of this "first" nonsense? More importantly, explain why I shouldn't think anyone who writes it isn't a complete tool

1:51 - this video explains it all:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciG-Xs7mBwU

My secretary does a whole lotta scanning and printing.

Attempt to read horrible handwriting, edit documents, blackline documents, print out e-mails and attachments, keep schedule, put together closing binders, deal with attitudes, answer telephones, tell lies to clients/callers about where attorneys are, work until 3:00 a.m., run around the firm looking for a working copy machine, PDF documents, occasional personal correspondence, listen to bull$&%( stories about why you can't have this week for vacation, take dictation, have heart palpatations, listen to other secretaries complaining about how busy they are when they actually do nothing.

It is really quite simple, to make the best use of your secretary 1) make sure she is hot, and 2) have sex with her 3x per week.

Even I, as a lowly contract JD awaiting bar exam results, have a secretary. She prints out bates lablels for me and does my copy work. What is wrong with this picture?

One effective way to manage a deal is having the right contact information for people on a Working Group List. I have my secretary create vCards for each person on that list, and assign a category name (e.g., "ABC Debt Deal 2007") for each vCard created.

My secretary hates doing it, but I give her a pep talk about it every now and then.

Do other people do this? An associate I was working with one time emailed me all the vCards for a deal, and I thought it was the smartest way of managing a deal to make sure everyone is kept in the loop.

A lot depends on with whom you share a secretary. I shared a secretary with a Bigwig Partner and didn't feel comfortable given her much to do, lest I interfere with her work for BP.

The secretary I had my first year was excellent in that she would show up in my doorway and ask if I needed help and, when I said I didn't, would recommend all of these projects that were actually pretty necessary. She helped me be prepared and appear organized. She was also very intuitive - I could just hand her something and give her vague direction and she ran with it (I was generally pretty specific, but didn't always have the time). She was also happy to go grab my lunch when things were crazy. I felt funny about it at first, but she kept reminding me that I was billing a lot for my time and that it was more cost-effective for her to do it.

She quit, of course, for a better job. Sigh.

Making proper use of the secretary is what separates those who need 55 hours to bill 40 in a week and those who need far less.

work till 3 am?! my secretary played online poker all day. and by all day i mean from 9-5. but she was very sweet and did my expenses, time sheets, and booked all my work-related travel. the partner i shared her with used her more, he would have her edit documents and take dictation.

I think it's largely a generational thing. I don't know anyone who graduated from law school in the last 15 years who does dictation, for instance. I feel like that was a big thing secretaries used to do.

I'm starting my fourth year now, and I still rarely use my secretary for anything other than (a) putting in expense reports, (b) making labels or addressing envelopes, or (c) finding out who I need to talk to about, e.g., benefits. All said, I think I get at most about 100 hours of useful time A YEAR from my secretary.

I am a 2nd year litigator. My secretary transcribes all of the correspondence I dictate. She also schedules depositions, enters my time, and proofreads anything that goes out the door with my name on it. She also handles all of my mail and puts any important dates on my calendar. She also gives me good office gossip.

Lat -- you totally forgot the perk of

-- Have own office

Although maybe since you worked in NYC you could not say that.

i worked in nyc and had my own office. yet another reason why cleary is the only biglaw firm worth working for in nyc!

2:09 -
Lat already did a post on having your own office and lest you forget he worked at Wachtell, so definately had his own office...with a window.

My secretary handles all my correspondence with clients, files everything, receives all incoming correspondence and brings it to the attention of the appropriate attorney, and follows up on issues assigned to me by my boss or things that I ask another attorney to do.

the biggest partner at my firm has 3 secretaries, one whose job is to manage a triage list of his telephone messages.
my secretary does my reimbursements, copies, answers my phone if I'm not in. Also sometimes types transcripts from handwritten docs.

forgot to mention, a lot of the secretaries also play snood, deal or no deal (on cd-rom), scrabble.

As a junior bankruptcy associate, I shared a secretary with a Very Important Partner. I was in the midst of finalizing the first day papers for a large debtor case filing that afternoon (total war zone mode) and asked her to help me out with some things. She looked me straight in the face and told me, in all seriousness, that she couldn't help me because she was busy making lunch reservations for said Very Important Partner.

My secretary does first drafts of briefs, takes and defends depositions, and argues at hearings (but just on discovery motions -- I don't let her handle dispositive motions (yet)).

At my firm, not only do I have an office, my secretary has her own office too.

In addition to all of the above, my secretary has stayed me past midnight editing claim charts. She knew all of the local court rules for font size, etc. She also kept track of my CLE hours. A good secretary is a must for a new attorney.

I don't know, 2:24. At my firm, a paralegal might handle the first of those tasks; and we have an automated system that keeps track of CLE (as well as a calendaring department that keeps track of deadlines, and a document department that handles word processing, running TOA/TOCs, making binders, etc.). There's very little that a secretary can do these days that (a) isn't automated or (b) can't be done quicker by someone more specialized. E-filing and email service also greatly reduces the menu of useful (and time-consuming) things attorneys used to rely on secretaries for. Hence the 6.5 hours a day most secretaries spend shopping and playing cards on the internets (compared to my modest .5-1 hour a day wasting time on this website ;)).

See what happens when I don't have my secretary edit my work. I meant "has stayed with me"

Even at biglaw firms, paralegals have secretaries also. I use my secretary to edit documents, print bates labels, scan documents, answer the phone, make travel arrangements, print documents, reserve conference rooms. I actually use her more than the associates -- now I know why.

I don't understand this constant reference to using secretaries to "print documents." Is it really so much more efficient to call or email your secretary with a document number to print and have him/her bring it to you than it is to hit the print button and walk 50 feet to the printer and back?

1:51--

perhaps you should be educated on the double negative instead

I work in a very small, specialized group - my secretary (who is absolutely lovely) works for a bigwig partner of a different small specialized group. I pretty much only use her to do my expense reports and to answer my phone when I'm out. Instead, I use the secretaries of the partners in my group (who only work for one partner each) - it's much easier and they are more likely to make it a priority since it actually IS for the bigwig they are secretary to.

2:43: I send my secretary cases from Westlaw to print if there's a bunch of them. I'll leave her to deal with the dirty looks when stuff piles up on the printer.

2:43,

I think when people say "printing" in this context, they - I certainly do - imply other associated tasks, such as assembling documents, printing pain in the ass things like labels to be slapped on closing folders, printing 25 versions of the same letter where only the addressee is changed, etc.

Another biglaw perk i'd like to see covered - technology. Even for things as mundane as printers at your desk. At my first firm every lawyer had their own printer, but now I have a group one. Not the end of the world, but over the course of the week I definitely waste tons of time going back and forth between my printer and my office...

2:12, pretty much everyone in my particular NY firm gets their own office, with a window...a minority of the first years may have to share for a few months, but within a year everyone has their own.

2:47 - Don't lawyers sit on their asses enough? Walking to the printer is often the best exercise I get in a given day.

I'm getting the picture that corporate attorneys use their secretaries far more than litigators. As a litigator, I rarely need "labels" or folders. I like a binder for the opposing parties briefs and declarations, but our doc prod department handles heavy volume stuff like that.

Before law school, I had a paralegal job that sat me next to a secretary who spent her entire day on the phone loudly praising Jesus and organizing church functions. Despite this apparent abundance of time on her hands, I couldn't get her to help me on copying or PDFing jobs from HER partner (who dumped so much work on me that I was constantly forced to stay until 9 or 10 PM at night).

Based on my experience, she is a very typical secretary. If you let them, they'll spend hours telling you about their grandkids and online shopping and what Mexican restaurant they ate at last Saturday and where they're going to vacation this year AND how they're so busy & tired from working.

I just finished my undergrad and work in a large firm as a paralegal. I have a secretary whom I share with a partner and an associate. Since I work in business litigation and a great deal of my job is photocopying, I literally have NO clue what I should ask her to do, yet I actually had to attend a "secretarial expectations" meeting with her......

My secretary was very helpful over the summer. She entered my time, processed reimbursements, explained how a lot of the office machinery worked (printing, scanning, etc.), and various other things with which summers would rather not bother an attorney.

Did she do all of the stuff 2:59 (2) said secretaries do (personal calls, online games, Christian networking, planning a vacation, showing pictures from a vacation, all while expressing how busy she was)? Sure. But hell, I was making $620 a day to be taken out to lunch, ball games and dinner, so I say more power to her!

my secretary performs the following tasks:

1) printing (and binding when necessary)

2) copying

3) scanning

4) mailing

1:48/2:00 - it is far better to have a super hot secretary and NOT bang her. She will think you're cool and a gentleman, brag about you to her hottie friends, and then you can doink THEM. And Monday morning will be just Monday morning (except for your secretary's knowing, slightly envious smile).

@ 1:48/2:00/3:13 - how many of you actually have "super hot" secretaries. My firm won't even hire legal secretaries unless they have at least 10 years of experience. Thus, they tend to be competent -- and often grandmotherly (or, if they're male, like your weird uncle).

Case assistants waste the most time at my firm.

@ 1:48/2:00/3:13 - how many of you actually have "super hot" secretaries. My firm won't even hire legal secretaries unless they have at least 10 years of experience. Thus, they tend to be competent -- and often grandmotherly (or, if they're male, like your weird uncle).

I can't prove it, but I am pretty sure my secretary is trying to kill me.

The modern legal secretary lifer pool basically consists of two types:

Churchgoing black women with little or no post-high school education

White women with kids in school looking to make a little extra money.

Either ways you're going to get an earful about their kids and not much technical competence. If you want help anything that is not routine, call up your firm's IT support or library or trainers.

@ 1:48/2:00/3:13 - how many of you actually have "super hot" secretaries. My firm won't even hire legal secretaries unless they have at least 10 years of experience. Thus, they tend to be competent -- and often grandmotherly (or, if they're male, like your weird uncle).

I didn;t say she was superhot but I plowed that ass just the same. Actually she was what we Jersyites refer to as a "North Jersey matress Back" Think BIG Hair- Bon Jovi Fan, Drove a camaro, ridicuously long nails, etc.. She was attractive in a cheezy metal video kind of way.

Wow. A lot of you posters are classist assholes.

On the serious side. Attorneys are far more self sufficient that let's say 15 years ago. Secretaries have less and less to do these days which is why you will see secretaries with 4 - 5 assignments/ attorneys. This may sound like alot, but in reality -- given the amount of work they are given -- this is the amount of attorneys required to fill up their days. Sadly, they do spend a lot of time on the Internet or tending to personal matters.

I work for a smaller ID/products/med mal/business lit firm and we work the hell out of our secretaries. Examples of what mine does:

Depo summaries

Dictation (+ formatting, gramatical revision, citation checking, formating, mailing, filing, etc).

All filing + indexing

Scheduling

I also have a law clerk that does a lot of work for me including draft motions, witness interviews, answering discovery, and doc review.

All in all, I probably get 30+ hours a week of billable time out of them. It makes you pansies that only bill 2500 hours a year look like rookies. Then again, at my rates (generally 175-250/hr) my revenue needs all the help it can get.

If it's not billable and a secretary can do it, I make all efforts to get my secretary to do it. She, in turn, will pass it off to whatever other admin people might be able to do it.

I would never see my family if not for my secretary.

3:22,

First, you added the "super," I only said hot. Second, my assistant is hot, in a milfish way. Big firm juggs, with the whole naughty secretary thing working. The key, as an associate, is to make sure you work for a real pervert of a partner. That way you know he will hire something to look at.

Another thing that secretaries can supply if you play your cards right--job security. Engage them in the gossip and get all the dirt on the partners. Is your partner going to fuck with you once you know about 1) the mistress, 2) the offshore accounts, and 3) the billing practices? Nope. I like to drop hints that I know more than I should to my partner, just so he knows that if I go down...so does he!

3:31 - You and I must work at the same firm ;)

3:37....and?

Response to Anon at 3:27 p.m.

What a ridiculous generalization. You sound like a real a$$hole and typical of most male attorneys: ugly and stupid. Oops! Did I just make a generalization?

WWWTTTFFFF @ 2:08 "I am a 2nd year litigator. My secretary transcribes all of the correspondence I dictate. "

do you live in 1975? who managed to get through law school in the last 10 years without learning how to type almost as fast as they can talk?

You know all you biglaw lawyers who claim that there is no need for a secretary because you can do that work yourself really need to examine that statement. If you are spending time doing work a secretary used to do, why are they paying you instead of a secretary?

Do you really do your own letters and pdf crap and assemble documents and answer the phone yourself? What a waste of time.

Anyone who spends any time typing (not to mention printing, collating and mailing) their own correspondence is never going to make partner. Although they would themselves probably make a great secretary.

One of the keys to being successful is to never touch a photocopier, scanner or fax machine. No good can come from going near them. That is what they invented secretaries for.

My secretary keeps track of ATL posts and types witty comments for me.

White Guys With Asian Secretaries. I like a happy ending with my document reviews.

3:59: I tend to agree. That said, I type my correspondence in e-mail form for my secretary because there's always, always, always a mistake if I do otherwise.

3:56 & 3:59 -- if I can do my own work and the work of my secretary, shouldn't they pay me her salary too?

When I started my firm assigned 1 secretary for every 2 attorneys. Now it's 1 to 3 and will probably soon be 1 to 4. Junior associates typically don't use secretaries for anything other than copy projects (and the secretaries usually outsource that to the office services people).

The difference between attorneys who bill and those that don't expose the corruption billable hours create. PI and other attorneys who don't make money based on time use secretaries and paralegals to do 90% of the work that young associates do. Why, because there is no financial incentive to have an overpaid associate doing the work. I would take the work of an experienced paralegal over a green associate seven days a week.

I attend prepare for and attend depositions, hearings, mediations, and trials. That's all I do. Everything else is done by secretaries, paralegals, or the few associates we hire to do research and drafting only. We can accomplish more work with two attorneys and a couple paralegals on a case that the corporate morons can when they staff a case with 15 attorneys.

4:19 you are absolutely correct. But without 15 attorneys staffing a case how can they come up with those 5 line long string cites?

There is a show on cable called Mad Men set in 1960. In one scene the executives are smoking and drinking scotch in an office. One of them buzzes his secretary on the phone and orders her to go and get more ice for their drinks. I tried that this afternoon and still have not received any ice.

3:59 said: Anyone who spends any time typing (not to mention printing, collating and mailing) their own correspondence is never going to make partner.

4:13 said: 3:59: I tend to agree. That said, I type my correspondence in e-mail form for my secretary because there's always, always, always a mistake if I do otherwise.

4:13, that makes absolutely no sense. You're just introducing inefficiency for inefficiency's sake. If you're typing the letter already, why not type it into the letter macro in MS word rather than into the body of an email? As for 3:59, you're either living in 1975 with 2:08 and using dictation--or you're only sending out letters to the effect of "counsel, enclosed please find documents bates stamped XXXX-XXXXX."

LOL @ 4:30

To: Anonymous posted at 2:33

Automated system, eh? WHATEVER! Do you have an automated system in your office that soothes cranky clients? Do you have an automated system that reads your horrific writing and makes it into a pretty document? Perhaps you have an automated system that not only makes coffee, but brings it to you (only a half cup, heated additionally for thirty seconds in the microwave, with a tablespoon of cream, please), or does your filing, or sorts your mail from your junk mail from the bills from the wine you ordered, or goes to the Post Office for you? How about one that finds grammatical errors in your correspondence the computer doesn't catch? Do you have one that makes up millions of binders with zillions of tabs, or one that finds the file you "lost" in your own office? Do you have an automated system that orders holiday gifts for your friends and family, or that keeps track of your office supplies? And how about one that makes sure that a large quantity of the special pens you like are in your top drawer at all times? How about the best ones of all, an automated system that warns you not to come out of your office, because the client you hate to deal with is standing in reception having a conniption fit, or the one that cancels your Friday appointments for you so you can get out of the office early and go duck hunting instead?

I am a really great secretary. I like my job, I am paid well, and my bosses love me. I pamper them, and get rewarded for it. It makes both their day and job easier, and it makes my wallet fatter.

For those of you who are curious: I am not matronly, uneducated, or a bored housewife. I have a college degree, and I am definitely hot (both my brain and my bod), but I do not ever entertain sexual thoughts of my bosses. I prefer to keep my excellent pay and professional working conditions, and to know that I get to go home at the end of each day without having to think about my clients, like my bosses do!

Of course BigLaw associates type their own letters- that way the client pays $1,000.00 for a simple letter memorializing facts everyone is already aware of. Funny that the tools doing this shit think they are practicing law. HAAAAAAAAA

4:42 I hope they are paying you enough, if not you are hired over here.

Super Secretary- Can we date?

My secretary actually does a lot for us IP transactional types. She actually does all the e-filing for patent applications, assignments, response to office actions, etc. In addition, she prepares form letters for me to send out to the clients as well as the usual gopher type responsibilities. I guess IP secretaries are almost IP paralegals in a sense. But they also get paid a lot more. I mean way more than a plain vanilla legal secretary. I think my secretary is making like 60k and I know for a fact that one of our veteran secretaries makes like 90k. Crazy.

super secretary,

I realize this is might be unpleasant, but I have always wanted to ask this question, and obviously I can't ask my own secretary. Anyway, here goes:

You have a college degree. You are articulate. You are attractive. Why the hell are you a secretary? Doesn't it bother you that, for good pay or not, you push paper and bring a dude his coffee? Don't you wish you got to use that big brain of yours a bit more, instead of being, as you pretty much confess, a 9-to-5 servant?

You have a college degree. You are articulate. You are attractive. Why the hell are you a secretary? Doesn't it bother you that, for good pay or not, you push paper and bring a dude his coffee? Don't you wish you got to use that big brain of yours a bit more, instead of being, as you pretty much confess, a 9-to-5 servant?

Don;t kid yourself douchebag- Secretaries at good firms have great jobs- Mine makes 75K and works 9:30-5 most days. If you do the math she makes more per hour than most associates.

Super Secretary, Although I am sure you can respond yourself, allow me to say to 4:54 that he has not seen what top notch legal secretaries make, nor has he ever worked for a large corporation and seen how much most employees, even ones with college degrees, get controlled and pushed around.

Lat = Sméagol

We wants our blackberry!!!!!!!!!!

Master takes it from us!

nonsense,

I realize that a putz like you only *would* look at the money, but next time you should read the comment. Secretaries *do* make good money - I never said otherwise. But if you like using your brain, you don't become a secretary.

Anyway, why carefully read the comment you are responding to, if you already have good snark ready to go. Whatever xanax they have you on, it's time to up the dosage a bit.

Do people really dictate that much any more? I'll take dictate correspondence here and there, but when it comes to writing briefs, I do all the typing myself. It is easier to write, I have more control of the process, and the final product ends up with a lot fewer mistakes. My secretary handles correspondence, printing and sending things, some electronic filing (although I always get nervous when I delegate that task--I've had the lovely experience of the wrong pleading getting filed or the wrong exhibits being attached too many times at this point), and keeping me updated on the lastest scores and celebrity gossip.

So basically you really only want dumbasses to work for you? Maybe your secretary does not use her brains but mine does pretty good quality work. I do not have her fetch coffee however, unless it is for a client.

I worked in BIGLAW for more than 8 years, and was told several times by support staff that I was one of the most well-liked attorneys at the firm. The most important thing is to treat your secretary with respect - she is a human being. (She can also ruin your life and career).

It is ok to ask her to: type or edit any work-related documents, run expense reports, help with filings and proofs of service (litigation), process FSA claims, print and deliver to you massive documents received as attachments, make copies (if your firm does not have people that do this), maintain correspondence and "chron files", create binders/index forms, etc., maintain pleadings and discovery files, maintain precedent files, make travel arrangements - including hotel, air and printing Mapquest directions for local trips, create participants' lists, send out letters and other correspondence, etc.

Also important: say hello to your secretary every morning, no matter how busy you are. Never walk directly into your office and close the door without a quick "good morning." If she has been out sick (herself or to take care of a relative), make sure you follow up by asking her if she is ok/feeling better, and let her know that she should take as much time as she needs to feel better. But never, ever, call her at home or on her cell if she is out sick - she will think you are checking up on her and the sense of "trust" between you will suffer.

If she emails you to let you know she will be out sick, the only appropriate response is to reply with something like "take care and feel better!"

Always, always remember (i) her birthday, (ii) admin. assistants day, and (iii) Christmas (or other important holiday). Make sure you get her a card and a gift for each of these. $50-$100 is an appropriate amount to spend for each. Don't forget to tell her in the card what great work she has been doing and how thankful you are for her efforts. Remembering to write a personal message in the card is more important than spending a lot of money (she knows the money does not mean that much to you anyway).

If she has kids, learn their names and some basic info about each (i.e., Kate likes ballet, Richard just started college at State). Make sure you ask about her children on a regular basis, use their names and refer to some piece of info that shows you pay attention when she talks about them (how's Richard liking State? Is Kate still doing ballet?).

If she ever asks the question: "Can I leave early today, I need to . . . " The response is "Yes," especially if it relates to her children. You need to find a way to manage without her.

Remember too that the way you treat your secretary will often dictate your relationship with the entire support staff. They talk to one another. If she tells them you are a jerk, you are doomed.

Having a secretary that likes you makes a much, much, bigger difference in your career than you realize when you are a junior associate

I think we can say from these posts that there is a huge range of competence out there.

If the secretary is not competent and hot, then what is the point? But that same statement really applies to law clerks and young associates as well.

If anything 5:10 said is new news to you then you are a clueless d-bag.

Super secretary, that's all great, but I've never once felt the need to have someone else organize my pen drawer or microwave my coffee for me (yuck!). You recognize yourself that what you are doing for a living is "pampering" attorneys -- not doing necessary tasks that aren't doable (and done) by doc prod and calendaring departments. So we are back to where we started, with Lat's list -- secretaries, at their best, are "perks," not necessities.

5:10

I'll work for you.

89th!

Super Secretary at 4:42, I so so so wish you were my secretary. That would make my life infinitely easier.

Good secretaries are worth their weight in gold and, as someone else pointed out, are the difference between billing 90% of your time in the office v. 66% of your time in the office. Unfortunately, as a junior associate, I was stuck with the secretary that none of the partners wanted. I couldn't trust her to enter my time, my edits, or even make address labels -- it would either take too long (she almost missed multiple mail drops) or would be so riddled with typos it would be worthless. I stopped using her and requested another secretary, which suited her just fine (allowing her to return to playing games online, gossiping with other secretaries, and insulting hardworking staff she believed to be beneath her).

Unfortunately, a lot of secretaries have figured out how to ride the system and do almost no work, while the high billing partners load their overworked secretaries to the hilt. Law firms should require secretaries to account for their time just like everyone else -- if a secretary has big open holes of time when s/he is not working, the firm needs to figure out if it's because (1) the secretary is lazy or not a good worker; (2) the associates don't know how to use the secretary and thus aren't making efficient use of their time; or (3) there really isn't work for the secretary (in which case, firm needs to decide if it is a temporary cyclical gap or whether the secretary needs to cover another associate, etc).

I think 5:18 works for a lawfirm where he does not have a secretary, or at least not a good one.

Once you have a good secretary you will never question their worth or their own self-worth. Both will be self evident.

4:54

Maybe her degree was in anthropology.

4:54: I believe "9-5" is the operative term in your query. Also, legal secretaries make, out of the gate, more than public school teachers and anybody in non-profit, publishing, or Sotheby's (just to list some typically female entry-level positions). Also, these gigs are what you make of them. One of my secretaries treats the job as a means to an end and gets work that is tailored to that; the other treated the job as a stepping stone to bigger and better things and got work tailored to that.

5:20: Yup. The rub of it all is that if you give work to your secretary and it gets screwed up, that's your problem. You can NEVER blame a subordinate for poor work. Their mistake is your mistake.

you took your secretary's vCard? how old was she that she was still a virgin?

5:37: almost right. It is not your fault if someone else makes a mistake. It is, however, your responsibility.

Yeah, 5:37, I was pretty much damned any way you cut it. On the one hand, my secretary was making blatant typos and mistakes (mispelling clients' names, mis-captioning labels, once going so far as to include the name and address of a party in a different case). I knew that her mistakes were my mistakes, and I always spent the time to check and correct her work. But when I included my time for doing so under a billable code (clearly marked so it would be written off the clients' bill), I got talked to about how I needed to utilize my firm's resources properly. So then I began including the time I spent correcting and editing her very simple work on address labels, POS, TOA, TOCs, etc, as unbillable firm-related work . . . at which point I got a phone call about how I was failing to manage my time efficiently given all of the "miscellaneous unbilled work" I was doing.

As a very junior associate new to the firm, I couldn't very well say "my secretary is absolutely terrible and I am spending approximately 1.5 hours in the office every day doing her work" because everyone -- including my secretary -- knows that doing so would be the fastest way to kill my own reputation. I ended up doing the work and not billing it anywhere (I knew it wasn't work that the client should pay for and putting it towards my unbillable time was apparently making me look inefficient). I was doing secretarial work in what should have been my few coveted hours of free time and I was absolutely miserable. As soon as I built up some creditability, I requested a move to a different floor (closer to the partners I was working with) and therefore to a different secretary. I wasn't the only one, either: I had many friends whose secretaries weren't willing to help (and who, when asked, would mess up so badly or take so long to complete the work that the associates would essentially give up on ever asking again).

If there are firm administrative types reading this blog and these comments, please realize that the quality of support staff for your young associates matters tremendously and very much affects associates' quality of work, ability to bill, and morale.

99th

100th - Yes, another CF

My biglaw secretary was a stoner.

Don't call your secretary a secretary. She/he is an administrative professional.

Does anyone actually have an attractive secretary?

I called my secretary an admin assistant once and after she stopped laughing she ordered me to call her a secretary.

My secretary is my connection to the vast, dark administrative underbelly of the firm. In that context, she is awesome.

If I have something I can't delegate to a junior associate it goes to a paralegal, and perhaps thence to her secretary, or to the WP dept. My secretary answers my phone because I can't stop her. I'd rather let people go to VM.

Dictation actually rules, if you take handwritten notes on a meeting.

You can read it off into the tape and it's 10X faster and clearer than if you transcribed your handwritten notes by hand into your computer.

7:32, better to just take your notes on your laptop in the first place.

I share my secretary with two partners, and I do not work with these two partners. She is on a different floor from me. She doesn't work with my clients.

Accordingly, I only use my secretary for expense reports and conflicts checks and questions about firm policies. I do my own time, faxing, scanning, printing, drafting, revising, copying, etc. I'd have to explain what I want in detail and then review her work anyways, so unless I'm copying or scanning huge documents, it simply is a WASTE of my time to delegate this work. These tasks take 5 minutes.

My secretary is very nice, but I've only used about 5 hours of her time in the past year.

My secretary works very hard at figuring out new ways to beat the system and stick it to the man.

She does enter my time, but we're about to switch to a system where we enter our own time. I think this will make her obsolete.

Experienced, talented legal secretaries are worth their weight in gold. Many are highly trained and really, really good at what they do. The biggest problem for young associates is that the partners usually take up all of the secretary's time. That said, the secretary can be your very best friend. She usually knows how things are done and what's going on in the firm. She can give you the scoop on various partners and help you navigate the administrative system. She can make the word processing and copying staff your best friends or your worst enemy.
If your secretary is bad, speak up -- tell her directly and, if that does not work, talk to her supervisor (but definitely tell her first). It might just be a bad fit and a bad secretary can be like a stone in your shoe.

Great legal secretary blog which demonstrates how competent some of us are:
http://lawyersrighthand.com/

I'm a high powered partner in SF, and my secretary is my secret weapon. She and I work like a dream. She keeps me on track and (an extra special perk) gives me advanced warning about partner politics that may negatively impact my comp.

Legal secretaries make bank and don't usually have to work OT (unless they want). I make 58K with only 5 years experience and senior secretaries are almost at 6 figures, depending on the market. Many first-year attorneys don't even come out that high (T3 & T4). As long as the attorneys I work for utilize me and respect me, I'm a happy camper.

And I am a LEGAL SECRETARY, not an administrative assistant. Legal secretaries have specialized experience and training. There's even an accreditation exam, the PLS, which is offered by NALS, the National Association for Legal Professionals.

Who has given their secretary a bad review?

Im pretty sure my secretary is an expert at hearts. Im also pretty sure she doesnt speak or read English. I have asked my firm to replace her with an additional printer - it would be more useful for me to have my own printer than to pay her 30k per year salary. I couldnt imagine a larger waste of space.

Does anyone find it hilarious that a legal secretary (@8:02 p.m.) armed with her PLS accreditation uses the T3/T4 lingua. Viva la legal food chain!

"7:32, better to just take your notes on your laptop in the first place."

Yes, of course, but a big ole laptop can make you look like a tool in a client interview. Better to take notes and then read them off, with your verbal gloss, in certain instances.

The secretaries at my firm, Alson & Bird, have been told by management that the firm intends to return gradually to a "pool" model under which the secretaries will no longer be assigned to specific attorneys. Presumably they'll be sited in bull-pens or some such. As it is, the NY office is filling the ranks with (relatively) low-paid kids off the street who don't know their asses from elbows, much less have any useful legal experience. I'm sure, however, that they help the HR dept. meet budget.

The law firm environment is rife with sexual electricity in the air. On the one hand you've got a bunch of well educated highly compensated young males with bright economic futures who often times come with pre-packaged family pedigree. On the other hand you have a lot of young females in their 20's to go along with divorcees around every corner. Every major firm on the planet has the case of lawyers and secretaries screwing each others brains out. In fact, I strongly suspect our Am Law 100 Chairman has been diddling his smokin' hot secretary of over 20 years. Not a problem if people are single I guess. But that often isn't the case.

The law firm environment is rife with sexual electricity in the air. On the one hand you've got a bunch of well educated highly compensated young males with bright economic futures who often times come with pre-packaged family pedigree. On the other hand you have a lot of young females in their 20's to go along with divorcees around every corner. Every major firm on the planet has the case of lawyers and secretaries screwing each others brains out. In fact, I strongly suspect our Am Law 100 Chairman has been diddling his smokin' hot secretary of over 20 years. Not a problem if people are single I guess. But that often isn't the case.

The law firm environment is rife with sexual electricity in the air. On the one hand you've got a bunch of well educated highly compensated young males with bright economic futures who often times come with pre-packaged family pedigree. On the other hand you have a lot of young females in their 20's to go along with divorcees around every corner. Every major firm on the planet has the case of lawyers and secretaries screwing each others brains out. In fact, I strongly suspect our Am Law 100 Chairman has been diddling his smokin' hot secretary of over 20 years. Not a problem if people are single I guess. But that often isn't the case.

Hm. Let me see if I'm understanding you. You're saying that the law firm environment is rife with sexual electricity in the air?

My secretary trapped me in the hallway for 10 minutes yesterday to discuss her cat's UTI. I'm all for being friendly, but it is a catch 22, especially as a jr. female associate.

What's an appropriate "thank you" gift to send to one's summer secretary?

2:43 - Whenever I think it will be more efficient to print myself, I end up regretting it. There's a paper jam, the PDF freezes, etc. So now anytime I need to print more than one document, or any document on letterhead, I have my secretary do that.

9:06 - when I was a second-year associate I got a secretary fired. She had worked for a partner for years with no problems, but all he wanted her to do was travel arrangements. Her work was full of errors and people complained to me about her tone when she answered the phone. She had been "rotated" away from someone else who didn't like her, and others who were sharing with me disagreed with my view. I complained to secretarial supervisors; she was given a warning; her performance did not approve; I complained again; she was fired. I felt terrible about it, but I got a much better secretary. I also know others who have complained and eventually gotten their assigned secretary put back in the "pool" to cover absent secretaries for a day.

Aside from printing, my secretary handles my expense reports and travel arrangements. She orders supplies and makes copies. Pretty minor stuff, but she is diligent and does a good job. A partner uses about 60% of her time (she actually does his filing, unlike mine), I use 10%, and she chats with the other secretaries 30% of the time. Not too bad, especially since unlike a lot of the other secretaries, she chats QUIETLY.

What do you folks give your secretaries for Christmas?

Scrooge: I gave cash. 8:59: I sent my summer secretary flowers as a thank-you. I know some people do lunch - which is appropriate if you like each other - but some secretaries have to stay late to make up that time spent beyond their lunch hour.

I know several people who did jack shit, so you're ahead of the game for doing it in the first place.

It sounds like a secretary is mostly good for billing and if you get lucky, gathering juicy gossip and ass covering.

Don't take your secretary out to lunch. Cash, Starbucks gift cards, flowers, chocolate are all good. If you take the secretary away from her desk, partner will freak (at her, not you) and 9:29 a.m. is right -- she may have to make up the time.

What in the name of God is a "chron file," and how and when does one start one, and how does a secretary get involved in that?

I'd like to hear from some sects on this one as well!

A chron file is a (typically reverse) chronological file of all correspondence received or outgoing in a particular matter. Some include emails. This can also be called a reading file.

Someone posted excerpts of this blog to a legal secretary list serv I participate in.

Lately, firms have had a really hard time finding secretaries and there are schools that have dropped legal secretarial programs because of lack of interest.

After reading someof the posts here, now I understand why.

Hopefully the most idiotic posts are coming from people who don't have secretaries.

I used to have a secretary when I was in government that sat in the hall with her arms crossed on her chest and her chin on them (she was a big girl) and SLEPT.

She wasn't in an office, she was right outside my office in the hall. And she snored. Loudly. I tried to work with her, but when there were tasks at hand, she just decided to stop coming to work. I complained to the HR folks, but quickly found out that firing her would involve me giving up some budget and screwing myself out of an assistant for years.

So I promoted her to a higher grade and offered her to someone I didn't much like.

Yup. Your tax money at work.

Most of the idiotic comments postes on this website are from people that are still in law school or who have been out of law school about five months.

Actually, I'm not as super a sec'y as supersec is, because this job is just that- a job. It pays my bills and has bought me an apt for myself, and allows me a lot of flexibility in that if I want to work OT and make extra $$, I can, and if I don't, I go home. I find that whoever it was who wrote about the 2 diff't types of lifer sec's - was pretty on key. But there is a whole new undercurrent of non-lifers because there are just fewer and fewer people who want to work as secretaries. So now the spots are filled with people like me, who are intelligent and usually, it seems have creative aspirations (actors, singers, writers, etc.) and need a 9:30-5:30 to pay the bills while still being able to go to auditions and more. And you know what? We're smart, we can do the jobs we have and better, but we WILL leave.

As for what I actually do- I do happen to work for a partner- I kept my eye on the prize and said "If I'm going to be here, might as well make extra $$ while I am!" and committed even though I shouldn't have- well, he has me do his time, travel arrangements, sometimes I Google stupid stuff for him that he doesn't know how to find, billing (rendering bills etc.), doc edits, doc prep, whatever he wants. This is a huge firm so a lot of it CAN be outsourced, though I try not to unless I really can't get to it. I also just got an associate and she seems really busy so I try to make things easier for her, but sometimes there's just too much going on for my partner that I can't get to her stuff. I'm nice about it, though, I ask her how soon she needs it and if it's sooner than later, I'll ask one of the sec's near me to help out, which they usually do. I wouldn't say I'm completely not busy, but I do realize the less time spent working, the "more" I am getting paid.
And I used to work for a very senior partner here. He was a nightmare in that he didn't have anything for me to do, except make coffee and wash his coffee pot (it was awful), and he would actually complain if I wore a tank top underneath a cardigan, and I happened to have the cardigan off when I first came in. Ugh. Anyway, all I ever did for him was his time entries.

Some of you are douche bags, but that happens everywhere you go, no matter the grouping you pick. Random sampling of people will always have a coupla douche bags.

Not all of us play computer games all day, organize church functions, etc., blah, blah. I graduated with a 3.98 GPA from a decent college, have been a litigation secretary in a big law firm for 17 years and have found that despite my credentials and intelligence I cannot seem to get out of the legal arena. I make $77,000 a year and cannot find employment to match my salary outside of the legal arena. I work for a rainmaking, antichrist litigator. I do everything for this asshole (short of having sex with him) and he makes a continuous ass of himself with his histrionics. He never settles cases because he likes the cha-ching that going to trial generates. There have been countless ocassions where I have s