The S&C Bonsai Beauty Pageant: We Have a Winner
"There she is... Miss S&C Bonsai!"
Just to close the loop on last week's contest, the bonsai tree pictured at right is the winner of our Sullivan & Cromwell bonsai beauty pageant. Congratulations, Bonsai #2!
Of course, as with any matter of taste, there was disagreement. Some viewed Bonsai Two as tawdry:
Bonsai Contestant 2 is a pageant patty: the garish lighting, the big contestant badge, the pose. Bonsai Contestant 6 is fresh, unscripted, and beautiful, and therefore gets my vote.
But in the end, more voters agreed with these views:
"The lighting for Number two makes it classy, and yet ever so slightly risque. It gets my vote hands down.""The garish lighting makes it. So stark, so ironic. Number two (the existential bonsai) has it all the way."
Wait a sec -- is the lighting scheme "classy," or "garish"? Eh, who knows! All we know is that you like it, you really like it.
For anyone who cares, the full tally appears after the jump.
Earlier: An S&C Bonsai Beauty Pageant!
(17) Comments
*whew* the nightmare that was Piercie has ended. Welcome back, Lat.
Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe I'll be first.
What happened to the proposal of IP banning people who "believe" they're first but aren't?
Bonsai trees live forever and can teach you many things. For example, when I was in undergrad my girlfriend at the time thought it would be a great idea to get me a bonsai tree (I guess instead of a bj). I learned that 1) my girlfriend was lame and a psycho, and 2) I should not be responsible for living things. I dumped the girlfriend and decided not to have children. Two of the best decisions of my life. Thank you bonsai tree!
That goodness Piercy McShafty is doneski.
Thank goodness, and here I was afraid that we were not going to get to see any more lame posts about a potted plant.
As the photographer, I would just like to say thank you to everyone that supported the Bonsai recipient and myself throughout this grueling voting process.
Why was everyone so down on Piercie? At least he didn't post the same picture of a Bonsai 6 times.
Lat, you are losing your edge, you're holding on too tight. You need to find that eye of the tiger before you wash out. Maybe you should go talk to those guys from Law Students Concerned About Building A Better Legal Profession for America and All the Small Woodland Creatures. Their execution was a bit amateur, but they have a certain drive I am afraid you are losing.
During the lull between now and bonus/salary announcements, why don't you launch an offensive using pre-compiled data? Here are three ideas:
1) Partners are greedy, but they get away with it. Put some heat on. GCs get all bent out of shape when associate salaries go up because they know they have to pay for it. This ire should be redirected to the proper place - the profit margin of the partners making 3-20 times what associates make. Take another look at that chart of yours (in the WSJ) showing salary growth (sweet chart, though it is more impressive when you don't compress the y axis like you did). Also look at that "pain index" metric from AmLaw a few months ago. Throw in some historical data about the one-third rule (salary, overhead, profit) adn see what comes out. I'm pretty sure it will show that we shouldn't be weeping for partners who are forced to take out a mortgage when purchasing their third vacation homes rather than paying with a suitcase filled with cash.
2) There is a lot of data out there about PPP, RPL, and related metrics. Why don't you use some of those to figure out a method of determing statistically who the cheapest firms are? AmLaw has some profitability index that you could play with for ideas.
3) Which firms promote the fewest associates? I don't recall the usual suspects (AmLaw and NALP) actually tracking this data, but maybe you could go to the websites of the top ten AmLaw firms and pull their press releases for the info. Then you could see how big of a pain in the ass it is and whether is worth doing on a larger scale. They would also have lateral partner announcements, which would enable us to see imbalances between growth from within and without.
My bonsai looks like a piece of shit compared to the blossoming bushiness of #2. Seriously, it's like it got implants or something.
S&C = stunted growth?
maybe pat robertson prayed for #2 and placed a curse on yours
10:53, you seem to have a lot of ideas, why don't you start a blog of your own?
Love to, but I have some debts to pay first.
Don't expect this kind of data collection and number crunching from Lat (too lazy).
But I'm sure he'd post or link to this data if someone else threw it together and served it to him on a silver platter.
Bonsai Contestant 2 is the Tara Conner of bonsai pageant contestants.
Bonsai 2 does not use drugs, sleep around, or instigate feuds between Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell
Whatever, 3:49. Just look at that pose: jutting its hip out to make sure that contestant number is clear to the judges. Plus, you can totally tell that Bonsai 2 has had implants. Not to mention she clearly knows she has the competition in the bag.