The Mother of All MPRE Stories
To our surprise, yesterday's open thread on the MPRE generated over 200 comments. Who knew that this topic would incite such interest?
Since you're all so interested in talking about the MPRE, here's more. A reader sent us a long but entertaining story about the test -- which you can read in full, after the jump.
We don't think it rises to the level of the headhunter lunch from hell. But still, it's pretty good. It appears below.
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my third year of law school (midwestern state school), i lived with three other guys in my class. three of us including myself took the mpre in the fall of our last year. we all passed.
our other roommate decided to take it in the spring of his last year. this guy was pretty serious about school and studied hard for the test. in addition, he was a somewhat typical law student, always stressing about school, jobs, etc.
anyway, he took the mpre and thought he did pretty well. he waited the six weeks or whatever it took for his exam scores to come back. during the week or two before the results were mailed to him, he would always make a big deal when he checked the mail, noting that his results had not come in yet.
so, the three of us roommates got to thinking -- maybe we should snatch the results in the mail and mess with our high strung, highly motivated roommate. class schedules worked out that there was always one of us home when the mail came and before our roommate arrived back from class.
when the big day came, we opened his test results -- he knocked it out of the park -- i think he got a score in the 120s (if that's possible). so after we got the score we went down to Kinko's and did some really good photocopies of the results.
on the bottom of the page, there were some coded numbers that were the same font, size, etc. as the exam score. so we made some "adjustments," and a new copy of the test result, showing our buddy had scored a 74 on the test. he needed a 75 for practice in DC. (those numbers might be off -- but i'm pretty sure it was 75 or 85 for DC). we sealed the envelope back very carefully and waited the next day to put it back in the mail.
as expected, our roommate comes home the next day and sees the envelope in the mail. the rest of us are waiting in the living room. now, the guy we played this practical joke on is a fairly loud and boisterous guy. so when he opened the door to our apartment, he yelled at the top of his lungs, "Oh, shit, my test results are here."
mind you, he had yet to open the envelope. so he goes into the living room and opens the test results in front of us. the tv was on as he opened the letter. he stood standing in the middle of the living room for about five to ten seconds, just staring at the letter. this five to ten second period seemed like a year to us, since we were just sitting there waiting for him to say something.
finally, one of my buddies said, "Are we happy, did u pass?" (i think that was stolen from Jules talking to Vincent in Pulp Fiction). At this point, the guy we were playing the prank on just looked at my friend and said, "yea we're happy, i passed." He then turned around and went into his room.
now as experienced pranksters, you often plan things a certain way, and can see a few possibilities in terms of how things might shake out. we did not expect him to tell us that he passed. we figured he'd blow up and left off some steam, and then we would let him in on the joke. so as we sat in the living room contemplating our next move. we decided just to let him go for a little bit, and tell him in a couple of hours that we were just pulling his leg.
at this point, two other things happened for which we were not prepared. our buddy had accepted a job in DC for a place he clerked for the previous summer. it was his dream jo,b doing what he really wanted to do, and he was actually excited about working there.
so our buddy makes two calls: (1) to his boss in DC telling him/her that he failed the MPRE, and (2) to his mom telling her he failed the MPRE. both were cool about, his boss said he could start his job and take the MPRE over. his mom was cool and told him not to worry about.
this happened in the afternoon. our buddy, who now thinks his life is over, has to go to a legal ethics class. my friend, who was in on the gag, texted him during class to say that he passed. he was a bit confused, and he had to leave class to confront the guy who texted him. he told him that we were messing with him and that he actually passed.
he was relieved. he forgave us. we are all still friends and still hangout.
(84) Comments
CORNELL LAW SCHOOL!
you're a jerk. i would have kicked your stupid ass
that's a stupid story.. I was waiting for the part where he blows his head off.
FIRST
"as an experienced prankster..." i'm really good at writing douche-y emails.
...and then I found $10.
First to say Pen-first!
I can't believe I read through the whole boring thing.
"I was waiting for the part where he blows his head off."
As was I, however, it was still pretty funny.
that is sick.
Yeah, I think a murder-suicide ending would have been better, even if it wasn't true. You have license to embellish these stories a bit.
The story built up tension pretty well until the penultimate paragraph. Then it just fizzled. Somebody texted him, he forgave everyone, no big deal. Where is the punch line that makes this funny?
this is a terrible story. i was waiting for something so much sweeter. i hate you
Then what happened?
A prank like that? That's a stabbin.
i second 3:07(2)
i thought it was funny that he lied to you guys.
I thought he was going to reveal that they were all really dead the whole time.
It's awesome that felonious mail tampering is involved in this MPRE prank. I can see the irony dripping down the scroll bar.
Story would have been so much better if you strung him along all the way through another MPRE.
And for your convenience, I present the condensed version: I was a gigantic douche. My friend forgave me for being such a douche. The End.
NEW ENDING:
so he calls his employer and the guy was shocked that he hired someone who failed the MPRE and revokes his offer. he blows up from all the pressure of years of a none elite law school, not knowing where you would end up, and now the blood and sweat of years of hard work that he thought truly paid off was slipping away between his fingers yet seemingly coming from no fault of his own. he let lose his sorrow on his once future boss and calls him and dick, loudly lamenting the loss of his youth and the worthlessness of the American dream.
finally, when the roommates burst into his room from all the noise of his screams of pain and anguish and tells him it was all a job. it was already too late and his employer now refuses to take him back.
he loses his dream job and now works as an assistant manager at a local taco bell. plotting the day he can take vengeance on the world
This is not the mother of MPRE stories. It's their retarded nephew.
*job = joke
this story blows!
Lat Blows!
mother of all mpre...give me a break
What would've been funnier is if he scored a perfect score on the MPRE but was selling crack, stealing from clients, pimping out prostitutes, and robbing 2nd graders on the side.
I can't believe he made it through the entire email without a single capital letter at the beginning of a sentence. The only thing capitalized was a movie name and personal name. Shhessh.
What a stupid thing to do. You and your friends are a bunch of assholes. And YOU can't write worth shit! Retard!
Seriously guys, it was almost as good as the time we convinced him his parents were dead. I'll post that one later.
3:21, I would like to welcome you to this new service I am providing for ATL, free of charge: congratulations, you have been tagged . . . a class "C" douchebag! Get a sense of humor.
No no 2:58(2), this one requires much more. You meant:
and then i found $100,000.
Wow, you guys are serious douchebags. Test results are not something you prank about like this.
The friend at issue should report every one of these A-holes to the character and fitness office of the relevant bar examiners office. If they think that opening others mail, altering its contents, and resealing it to appear as an original mailing is an appropriate "prank," then the Bar people should know. Who knows what other pranks they will pull as lawyers, maybe stealing attorney work product of an opponent or posting sealed trade secrets online. Both are good for a few yucks, I'm sure.
Hey "1L_Banging_Undergrads", the thing I like about undergrads is I keep getting older and they stay the same age!
worst. story. ever.
The friend at issue should report every one of these A-holes to the character and fitness office of the relevant bar examiners office. If they think that opening others mail, altering its contents, and resealing it to appear as an original mailing is an appropriate "prank," then the Bar people should know. Who knows what other pranks they will pull as lawyers, maybe stealing attorney work product of an opponent or posting sealed trade secrets online. Both are good for a few yucks, I'm sure.
BOOOOOO. I can't believe this was a topic. What a shithole story. Everything was going fine until the text message. The ending alone should have axed this from being a topic. Taking a 1 week leave of absence from this site after that junk show.
3:58 - Go take some Valium.
The friend at issue should report every one of these A-holes to the character and fitness office of the relevant bar examiners office. If they think that opening others mail, altering its contents, and resealing it to appear as an original mailing is an appropriate "prank," then the Bar people should know. Who knows what other pranks they will pull as lawyers, maybe stealing attorney work product of an opponent or posting sealed trade secrets online. Both are good for a few yucks, I'm sure.
anyone who can't see the difference between playing a joke on a roommate (and about something as insignificant as the MPRE, no less) and theft of trade secrets...well, i'm sorry for you.
"Story would have been so much better if you strung him along all the way through another MPRE."
agreed. maybe a little rough, but definitely funnier for the rest of us.
Does Lat have a responsibility to report the "tipster" to his or her state Bar?
Total flame. Unless you're profoundly retarded, no one would report a first-time MPRE failure to a potential employer. First of all, it's not like it's the bar exam. It's a cheesy ethics test which most people can score 100+ on without even opening a book. And unlike the bar exam, the pass rate for MPRE re-takers is extraordinarily high (probably because most people who failed the first time never studied at all). Secondly, the MPRE is administed every 3 months, so even if this kid did fail, he could've taken it twice more before graduating, and no one would've been the wiser. It's not like failing the MPRE goes on your transcript or is kept on your permanent record with your local bar association. No one ever needed to know he failed. If he told people he did, he lacks the professional judgment to be a lawyer.
NEW TOPIC: how can i destress so i can keep studying for my seemingly hopeless final tomorrow? the words are starting to blur together...
got any advice for me??
now, this would have been funny:
"I was waiting for the part where he blows his head off."
4:10 is right, nobody would report it to their employer in the first hour of seeing your failing results.
darn it... no jumping off buildings?
I just took a surprisingly ferocious pee!
Justified/provication murder?
Stupid ass story. WTF was the point. You should have started it off, "Once upon a time..." and ended with, "then we lived happily ever after, in the same bed, in each other butt's" because that was one of the gayest, anti-climactic things I've read.
3:20(2) = Comment of the Day.
Assoc_Banging_Undergrads:
I totally agree. But hey, stop competing with me. You guys with your big law money are going to take away undergrads from us 1Ls.
this thread completes me.
It's not possible to score in the 120s. I got a 118 and according to everyone I've spoken with, that's the best they've ever seen.
FAKE STORY
5:10, the people you know are not very bright. I got a 144 on my first try (almost double the passing score for my state). Admittedly, I studied for two straight days for the exam. Most people don't study more than a couple hours the day of the exam.
i got a 151
you fail
*5:10 - you obviously don't hang out with smart people or haven't spoken to that many people. Your score is weak. And so is this thread.
Regarding 5:10, to paraphrase the Devil's Dictionary: "A liar is someone who claims to've done better than me."
That was the BEST STORY EVER. It should be a movie on Oxygen. Seriously.
what a waste of time.
that story sucked lat.
that story sucked! it oculd have been 20 paragraphs shorter!
that story sucked! it oculd have been 20 paragraphs shorter!
You should have started the story off with, "Once upon a time in a land far far away..." and ended with, "then we lived happily ever after, in the same bed, in each other butt's" because this is one of the gayest, anti-climactic things I've ever read.
Lat, you slippin' bro. Big time.
I've actually heard that Judd Apatow is acquiring the rights to this utterly hilarious story, with Seth Rogen slated to play Master Prankster and Michael Cera as the Duped Gunner.
H'wood Insider:
Who the F are you talking about? You're lame.
If you liked this story, may I suggest getting prank lotto scratch off tickets for stocking stuffers. My friend was convinced he one $5,000. And then he realized that "OZ" was not a state after awhile when he went to redeem it. Lolz
I got a 150 and my penis is bigger than yours.
Lat reports this crap but not the fact that Jones Day Cleveland is going to $145k?
Wow, sounds like a textbook claim for IIED. :P
should sue for intentional infliction of emotional distress? i think this is sufficiently outrageous.
crap story. what a waste of time
worst. story. ever.
and then we made him eat his own parents
To the author of the above captioned story:
What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this chatroom is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul
juvenile assholes ...
One of my friends scored a 142. But we went to NYU Law, so you know...
Mail fraud is hardly funny. You're fucking with the work of true American patriots here.
I hope you got a heaping helping of AMERICAN JUSTICE! school of law.
Guys in my all gay high school used to quote Billy Madison all the time. It was no big deal.
It would have been funny if he shot himself.
The idea of studying for the MPRE is strange to me. The answer to *every* question is to do the *second* most ethical thing on the list.
My friend got in the mid 130's this past week and he studied for 2 days for two hours each day