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Things You Probably Didn't Cover in Trial Advocacy

circumcision circumcised 2 uncircumcised Above the Law blog.JPGRemember how victims of alleged sexual harassment by Bill Clinton claimed that inspection of the Article II member would confirm the truth of their claims, due to the presidential penis's distinctive appearance? We were reminded of those entertaining days, when the political was just so darn personal, by this story:

Graphic photographs of two defendants will be allowed as evidence in a rape trial Wednesday. The defense team argued to prevent evidence that includes photographs of their clients’ anatomies out of the courtroom. Defense attorney Robert Jenkins said his client and another man might have to expose themselves during trial.

“They say it helps the case because, allegedly, one perp is circumcised and one not circumcised,” Jenkins said.

If the foreskin has been slit, you must acquit.

Update: A reader submitted this alternative, by email: "If he had no bris, you must dismiss." (But we don't know if the defendants are Jewish.)

Court To Scrutinize Defendants' Genitals [WDSU.com]

Comments
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1 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 3:51 PM

CORNELL LAW SCHOOL!!!!!

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2 Posted by first finally | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 3:52 PM

first

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3 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 3:54 PM

NY to Smegma!

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4 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:00 PM

I love seeing penises (or is it peni?) on the main page of ATL. Excellent work, sir!

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5 Posted by Anon | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:01 PM

Fourth!

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6 Posted by wtf | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:03 PM

Thanks, I was just thinking, "you know, I'd love to open up the ATL homepage and see a couple of dicks."

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7 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:08 PM

Lat - are you freaking kidding me with that photo/diagram/whatever?

I'm reading this at work. A picture of a schlong on my screen is certainly NSFW.

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8 Posted by anonymous | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:09 PM

How about putting that very NSW picture behind a cut? Thanks.

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9 Posted by transfer | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:10 PM

That's a pretty ballsy defense...

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10 Posted by anonymous | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:10 PM

How about putting that very NSW picture behind a cut? Thanks.

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11 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:12 PM

nast

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12 Posted by transfer | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:12 PM

That's a pretty ballsy defense...

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13 Posted by Normally a jerk, but... | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:13 PM

How about an exclusion of rape case subject matter from the purview of a legal tabloid? Nothing fun or gossipy about this one.

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14 Posted by transfer | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:13 PM

That's a pretty ballsy defense...

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15 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:15 PM

Finally First: keep trying beeotch.

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16 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:15 PM

I'm not going to bother, but this one seems to be the penultimate article for one of the several FRAT BOYs.

Waiting for several responses . . .

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17 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:17 PM

I'll have to check back to ATL in a few days when not one, but two, schlongs will have fallen off of the main page. See you next week Lat. I simply can't have those photos on my screen at work.

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18 Posted by I'm Just Saying | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:17 PM

Lat,

We know you're infatuated with dicks, but really, do you have to subject us to this? I mean come on.

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19 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:17 PM

Does anyone else think this a ballsy defense? Get it? Or should I post a few more times just to make sure?

Oh, and urge to kill Joey Lawrence rising... rising...

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20 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:17 PM

I'm not going to bother, but this one seems to be the penultimate article for one of the several FRAT BOYs.

Waiting for several responses . . .

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21 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:18 PM

4:08: so, you don't love cock on your screen at work?

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22 Posted by youby | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:20 PM

Where do you idiots work that the picture is "not safe"? It's human anatomy. Grow up.

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23 Posted by Little to the Left | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:23 PM

Is it just me or is that guy's left nut just a tad lower than his right gonad?

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24 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:26 PM

4:20 - 2girls1cup.com is human anatomy too

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25 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:27 PM

Just thinking, will the photographs include before and after shots, you now, flaccid and erect?

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26 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:28 PM

So, it's OKAY to have a legal tabloid up on your screen, but not okay to have one with a semi-medical picture of...? I mean, don't you have your finger poised to "minimize" the screen should someone walk in anyhow?

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27 Posted by censor | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:29 PM

redickulous picture, lat. no doubt culled from your private collection.

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28 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:32 PM

Surprising that a rape victim would have gotten such a good view.

Lat -- Gross diagram. But the defense can take a tip from you and be sure to use a diagram in which the titi skin tone is a mismatch to the defendant's titi. Very subtle.

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29 Posted by FAT SLOB | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:34 PM

guys in my fat camp would drop their shorts but be unable to see their schlongs all the time. it was no big deal.

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30 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:36 PM

Yikes!

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31 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:40 PM

WGWCP = White Guys with Circum...you get it. It will catch on you will see.

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32 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:40 PM

For god's sake, man, put those things under the fold.

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33 Posted by Scientist and Swallower | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:43 PM

Scientific observations:

1) Both regions are devoid of hair
2) The left unit appears to have something coming out of it (yellow line?)
3) How in THE HELL did they get a cross section view of the units?!?! If I was a juror and I would demand to see cross section of defendants actual unit (pass the scalpel to juror #4).
4) Those are THE HUGEST UNITS I have ever seen, I can only hazard a guess as to ethnicity of defendants.

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34 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:44 PM

Grow up, you guys. Lat posts suggestive pics of women all the time -- this is at least as appropriate as those (since suggestive photos are intended to be sexual, whereas this is just anatomy, as someone else noted). But I don't see many of you people getting all up in arms when Lat posts, say, a sexy video of a now-law student, or something. If anything, you thank Lat for posting it and proceed to ridicule her because, you know, how dare a woman actually be sexual *and* have the audacity to want to be taken seriously as, um, a person. But a dude who may have raped someone? Let's not bother mocking or scorning him or even simply commenting on a unique prosecution strategy, instead let's get worked up about a drawing of a penis. 'Cause *that's* important.

What is going on here? Can't quite put my finger on it... I think it starts with an "s" and ends with an "exism."

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35 Posted by juror #5 | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:44 PM

If is was a juror, I would ask for a closer view and then cock punch the defendant, counsel and the judge for scarring me for life!!!

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36 Posted by juror #5 | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:44 PM

If is was a juror, I would ask for a closer view and then cock punch the defendant, counsel and the judge for scarring me for life!!!

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37 Posted by juror #5 | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:45 PM

If is was a juror, I would ask for a closer view and then cock punch the defendant, counsel and the judge for scarring me for life!!!

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38 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:47 PM

If I was the defendant, I would have been a little more generous in my tip to the artists to ensure a more "generous" presentation of my assets -- especially compared to the other guy!

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39 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:48 PM

WHY IS THERE A PENIS?

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40 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:48 PM

Will the photos be of the peni in an erect state?

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41 Posted by anon | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:52 PM

4:44 = fugly female who hasn't had what is in the picture in years...

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42 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 4:55 PM

4:44 - Moyle (sic) = Mohel. You must've missed that day in hebrew school.

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43 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 5:00 PM

Thank god the victim doesn't know what the defendant tastes like...

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44 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 5:02 PM

Hey Lat...you are disciminating against the penis. How come I can't supersize the picture when I click on it?

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45 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 5:03 PM

Thank god the victim doesn't know what the defendant tastes like...

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46 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 5:15 PM

For the love Lat, after the jump please; don't give the Biglaw Internet Filter Police even more reason to block ATL.

Guys in my high school got fired from their high paying jobs for looking at questionable Internet sites while at work all the time, it was no big deal...

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47 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 5:18 PM

Who are the losers saying that the pic is NSFW or, worse yet, "gross"?? You ppl seriously need a life. And if you're employer would reprimand you for having those pics on your screen, a new job.

It's from a fucking anatomy book, not an artists' rendering, morons.

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48 Posted by WGWUP | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 5:25 PM

4:55, I can transliterate 'mohel' however I want, dammit.

And I missed a lot more than one Hebrew lesson. I missed the whole bris.

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49 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 5:42 PM

5:18 -

Relax. No one is criticizing you for wanting to view male genitalia while at work. Nor is anyone asking Lat to not post pictures of sexual organs on ATL. They are simply asking that the pictures aren't unknowingly plastered across their screen or RSS reader when a partner walks into their office.

You, my friend, are the moron. Now go look at those "anatomy" books you have stashed under your mattress. Idiot.

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50 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 6:08 PM

"We could put up wanted posters all over school: Have you seen this prick? Report immediately to Beula Balbricker. Do not attempt to apprehend this prick, as it is armed and dangerous."

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51 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 6:41 PM

"If he had no bris, you must dismiss." (But we don't know if the defendants are Jewish.)


Judging from the apparent existence of "balls" and a "sack" ... probably not.

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52 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 6:43 PM

if the foreskin encroaches
fill his urethra with roaches

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53 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 7:01 PM

why did Lat tag this "nude dancing"??

i love anatomy at work.

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54 Posted by Rimer | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 7:22 PM

"No Fo'skin on the Hard-on, Then You Must Pard-on"

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55 Posted by Rimer, Take Two | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 7:25 PM

"If no hood on the beast, you must release"

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56 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 7:31 PM

Lat, thanks for redacting. My screen smells better already.

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57 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 7:33 PM

Redact THIS:

UU====O

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58 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 7:37 PM

Or THIS:
) (((((
)) oo
UU====O O
UU

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59 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 7:54 PM

B=====D ~~ (_]_)

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60 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 8:15 PM

lame photo of p33n there. if you guys think that was NSFW you must work for NOW or some similarly neutered place.

the comments today are EPIC WIN.

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61 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 8:43 PM

4:52 = closet homosexual who tries to cloak it with desperate homophobia.

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62 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, December 5, 2007 10:22 PM

Dammit, 4:25, I looked up that 2girls1cup.com website at work. Well.. now IT thinks I like shit porn.

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63 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, December 6, 2007 7:38 AM

last!

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64 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, December 6, 2007 9:04 AM

Circumcision = Abuse.

Men should be able to sue their parents and the doctor who cricumcised them for violation of their rights. If a man really wants to let someone chop of part of his penis, then let him make that (crazy) decision as an adult. There is absolutely no medical need in this day and age (or ever was in fact - Hindu's, Buddhist's and many other religions/cultures never did it) for this barbaric procedure.

It's funny how people accept this form of religious extremism without even thinking about it.

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65 Posted by Anonymous | Permalink Thursday, December 6, 2007 10:57 AM

Uh oh . . . anti-circumcision nutbag in the house at 9:04.

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66 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, December 6, 2007 11:18 AM

9:04 is upset that his doesn't look as good as mine.

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67 Posted by Motown Mohel aka Old Shul Rapper | Permalink Friday, December 7, 2007 3:57 AM

people in da jury box/look closely at these cocks/this case really ain´t fuzzy/da dicks ain´t been in the pussy/if da tip of da rod is pink and free/you must decide for liberty

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