Who’s the Ass in this Picture?
From a piece in the American Lawyer, summarizing the (fairly gloomy) responses of Am Law 200 law firms to the magazine’s annual survey about the state of the law biz:
[T]he credit crunch is only part of the story, several managing partners say. The current market worries are exacerbating a more general sense that firms’ resources have already been stretched to the limit. As the chair of one firm put it: “We can’t beat the donkeys any harder.”
This law firm chair decided to remain anonymous. So we can’t give him (or her) props for being a lovably candid a**hole, in the Ari Gold mold.
If you are a donkey, feel free to opine on whether or not you can be beaten any harder, in the comments.
Am Law 200 Managing Partners Issue Fog Advisory for 2008 [American Lawyer]
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Comments
FIRST? (maybe second)
guess I was FIRST
the beatings will continue until morale improves.
can't wait for the puns. let em roll...
It is good to see at least one partner finally admit how they really feel about us. Although most of the partners around here would disagree with the statement as they simply look for bigger whips.
I'm not sure what's going on. Are associates the donkeys or what? The credit crunch means lots of corp. associates aren't doing much at all right now except sitting on our cans posting on ATL. If this counts as a beating, I'm not sure what an even harder beating would look like.
I think he meant clients are the donkeys.
When I become President I will put a stop to all donkey beatings. I plan on imposing a special lawyer tax to pay for the new program I like to call, "No More Red Asses".
Ahso, you're probably right 1:28. But then why would Lat ask _us_ if we could be beaten any harder? Was it just some lame attempt to elicit 'beating' + 'ass' comments? If so, we can make those comments just as funny regarding clients. Though we don't seem to be taking the bait...
No, "firm resources" = associates = "donkeys."
The paragraph immediately following the quote is about the struggle for associate talent, rising associate salaries, etc.
I think he means we can't beat the associates (donkeys) any harder because there isn't enough business to give them.
To stretch the analogy, it's like we can't beat the donkeys harder because there aren't enough packs for them to carry? Or there is nowhere for them to go?
Oh, big f'ing deal. Cripes, I thought we were supposed to have thick skins as lawyers. Who cares whether some partner says "donkeys"?
Also, for somebody not working in a firm, Lat sure can muster up a lot of indignation-by-proxy.
No the Butcher is the Ass
Why exactly is morale so grim for these people? PPP is higher than it's ever been - and will likely remain so even after "special bonuses" to associates. If $2mil for a median partner at a top firm qualifies as "market worries," what exactly is a good market?
So maybe the chair should have said: "If this keeps up, we'll have to start shooting donkeys for lack of feed." That way, 'work' = 'food', which is a little easier for me to understand.
"Paradoxically, there is nearly universal agreement on one count: Even in a slowdown, firms expect to make piles of money. No matter their size, location or leading practices, nearly all of the firm leaders we polled -- 92 percent -- forecast that profits per partner will increase next year. When so many of them are nervous about the economy, how can they be so confident about profits?"
Yeah, these guys are reeeeeeeal worried.
As every educated North Easterner is aware, "donkey" is a antiquated racial epithet for an Irishman. I am therefore gravely offended and call for an immediate apology or I'm marching on his firm with Al McSharpton and Jesse O'Jackson.
I bet the offending partner has no need for Yale graduates, reacts violently to the idea of putting art on the walls of his firm, comes from a TTT law school and has a knack for making wildly inappropriate comments in public forums.
i can't believe all your firms are that slow. we're turning business down. to me, it's clear that we associates are donkeys -- and no, they probably can't beat us too much more
In Soviet Russia, ass beats YOU.
You are all stupid. He's talking about masturbating. He wants the work to come back so he can give his penis a rest.
As every educated North Easterner is aware, "donkey" is a antiquated racial epithet for an Irishman. I am therefore gravely offended and call for an immediate apology or I'm marching on his firm with Al McSharpton and Jesse O'Jackson.
Posted by: Seamus McCeltic O'Toole | December 3, 2007 02:00 PM
Nice!
SteveHowe! ate a whole donkey once.
3:18 = 2:00
1:36, oh brother. You seriously think this is about being offended? I couldn't give two shits what names a partner calls me behind my back -- I don't work here to become friends with my bosses. But when they make it so blatantly clear that they see us as nothing more than fungible billing units, it makes it much easier for me to keep raking in the dough, guilt-free, and casually demanding more in the form of bonuses and raises. It also gives me a quote to throw back in the faces of the asshole partners who occasionally post here and tell us how little we, the people who *make* these motherfuckers filthy rich, deserve the relative crumbs we get.
DEPRESSION COMING. NONE OF US WILL EVEN HAVE JOBS COME NEXT YEAR. WITH LESS ASSOCIATES, OF COURSE PPP WILL GO UP.
DARK TIMES AHEAD.
446, unless you work at CWT you are an idiot. If only because you think partners can make money without any donkeys to beat.
To 4:45: KEEP ON LIVING IN DENIAL BUD. ALL THE PLAYERS KNOW THAT A STORM IS COMING. THE BUBBLE -- WHICH HAS PERSISTED SINCE THE 50'S -- IS ABOUT TO BURST.
3:18 = 2:00
Posted by: Anonymous | December 3, 2007 04:02 PM
Nice!
Maybe he was just getting into the Christmas Spirit. Chiggety Ching! He Haw He Haw! Its Dominick the Donkey!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ok5rOO2v2dU
6:15 = 4:02
what do you say to a donkey with two black eyes?
nothing, you already told that b1tch twice.
I guess an Ivy League degree gets you everything but an actual liberal education. At least you have asses to get beaten.
Numbers 22:
20And God came unto Balaam at night, and said unto him, If the men come to call thee, rise up, and go with them; but yet the word which I shall say unto thee, that shalt thou do.
21And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab.
22And God's anger was kindled because he went: and the angel of the LORD stood in the way for an adversary against him. Now he was riding upon his ass, and his two servants were with him.
23And the ass saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and the ass turned aside out of the way, and went into the field: and Balaam smote the ass, to turn her into the way.
24But the angel of the LORD stood in a path of the vineyards, a wall being on this side, and a wall on that side.
25And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she thrust herself unto the wall, and crushed Balaam's foot against the wall: and he smote her again.
26And the angel of the LORD went further, and stood in a narrow place, where was no way to turn either to the right hand or to the left.
27And when the ass saw the angel of the LORD, she fell down under Balaam: and Balaam's anger was kindled, and he smote the ass with a staff.
28And the LORD opened the mouth of the ass, and she said unto Balaam, What have I done unto thee, that thou hast smitten me these three times?
29And Balaam said unto the ass, Because thou hast mocked me: I would there were a sword in mine hand, for now would I kill thee.
30And the ass said unto Balaam, Am not I thine ass, upon which thou hast ridden ever since I was thine unto this day? was I ever wont to do so unto thee? and he said, Nay.
31Then the LORD opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of the LORD standing in the way, and his sword drawn in his hand: and he bowed down his head, and fell flat on his face.
32And the angel of the LORD said unto him, Wherefore hast thou smitten thine ass these three times? behold, I went out to withstand thee, because thy way is perverse before me:
33And the ass saw me, and turned from me these three times: unless she had turned from me, surely now also I had slain thee, and saved her alive.
34And Balaam said unto the angel of the LORD, I have sinned; for I knew not that thou stoodest in the way against me: now therefore, if it displease thee, I will get me back again.
35And the angel of the LORD said unto Balaam, Go with the men: but only the word that I shall speak unto thee, that thou shalt speak. So Balaam went with the princes of Balak.
MR. LAT,
Can you do a story -- here, in the Observer, wherever -- on just how greedy Biglaw partners are? Nobody seems to truly appreciate it. They jealously ogle the wallets of their PE and I-bank and hedge fund clients, but c'mon, a mere few years as a Biglaw partner, at least at a top firm, generates enough to RETIRE. Not to retire in Manhattan, but certainly elsewhere. I'd love to spend 3 years in Vault top 30 Biglaw as a partner, and then retire to, say, Montana. So they need to stop whining and realize that their toiling associates, who are earning something like 10x less than they are, begrudge them this attitude.
You cannot earn "10x less" that someone. You can learn 1/10th of what someone else earns. But perhaps that Math skill will get you a counter job at a Ruby Tuesday's in Bozeman
"that someone" ?