I went bowling last night and threw 7 strikes in one game and only ended up with a 160. How does everyone feel about that?

I summered at Smith & Liggett. It was very prestigious and their summer-end bonus was 100% of summer salary. The place smelled of money, even the men's room.

Jim the Hammer could mop the floor with these douche bags.

Smith and Liggett defended me when I bit Dakota Fanning's face. They're good people

A few (OK, quite a few) years back while walking the Lafayette Reservoir in CC County CA [3d wealthiest town in the SF Bay Area to you right coasties] I hiked past an O’Melveny SA BBQ and all of the attorneys present were wearing an “O’Melveny and Meyers” tee shirt emblazoned with a huge shark head with open mouth (as in ready to bite).
..
O’Melveny should come out the closet with the shark and put it its homepage. (Shark beats gorilla.)

PS: The shark was wearing black framed glasses.

Sharks, like pirates, are only effective killers in water. On land, both gorillas and ninjas have the upper hand.

Lat, please automate the posting of comments regarding pirates and ninjas. If you want, I can write you a few snippets of code. It's really super easy.

Do firms in LA hold barbeques in compton?

Lat,
These sorts of firms are the ONLY way people like me can pay back the debt thrown on our backs.
We don't have fancy corporate clients. We have to represent the types of people who are persuaded by a gorilla ad. I work for a firm like this, for $15/hour, in hopes that one day my face will be next to such an ad.
There are two radically different worlds to the law. Don't judge the tier 2 world with Yale standards.

Those guys should have used a tiger, or a lion, or a liger in their ad. Big cats are both aggressive and team players. I realize gorillas live in groups, but if you're comparing yourself to an animal, why choose one that's so close to humans? They might as well have used a picture of John Bolton or George Bush as the symbol of aggression. No, another animal would be better.

Hyenas might work too, but they don't seem as elegant as a big cat.

Anyway, I nominate the drone worker bee to represent biglaw associates. Or maybe those carpenter ants. Both seem like they just keep going until they die.

Loyola 2L,

You're depressing me. I don't want to have to kill myself right before the holidays. Please take a month-long hiatus.

Do you think I could get a job with the Blue Man Group if these guys represented me?

Biglaw firms may not advertise like this on TV, but they sure as hell plaster their names all over law schools, sponsoring classrooms, events, etc.

Be thankful that you're not in my shoes 12:29. (And if you are, don't get too down. We're all just one gorilla ad away from a seven figure PI case.)

I used these guys. They got me the $10,000 I deserved.

My firm uses a Liger in all its ads. It's pretty much my favorite animal, because it's bred for its skills in magic. It's pretty sweet.

Lat, we should really just have an all-trolls thread.

I wonder where these guys are. In Florida, at least, analogizing your firm to a vicious animal is unethical. See, e.g., Florida Bar v. Chandler & Pape - they got dissed for calling themselves "Pit Bull Lawyers."

In the case of that ad... they're obviously guilty of awful advertising.

How about the Wall Street firms who use animals (e.g. Bulls) in THEIR commercials?

3:52,

You are a Mongoloid. Wall Street firms, from Wall Street to Hong Kong, don't use commercial. Nixon had a jingle, but (a) it was internal, and (b) they are not Wall Street. They are more Alexander Street, Rochester, NY.

I didn't mean Wall Street law firms, I meant Wall Street firms, e.g. Merrill Lynch and its bull.