Associate Bonus Watch: Kaye Scholer Bonus Follow-Up
(And Other Random Tidbits About the Firm)
A little follow-up on Kaye Scholer, whose bonus memo we posted back in November. From a source at the firm:
Just found out that despite the memo sent to associates last year, Kaye Scholer has decided to tie the special bonus to hours. Requiring 2200 hours to receive the special bonus.There was no mention of this hours requirement in the original memo. Of course, it was designed to appear that Kaye Scholer was paying market when they had no intention of doing so.
But in fairness to the firm, they did leave themselves with some wiggle room, stating that special bonuses would be paid on a “discretionary” basis. It just seems that 2200 was the magic number required to trigger the exercise of said discretion.
Some associates aren’t happy about how that requirement was communicated (or not communicated, as the case may be). One associate claims that managing partner Barry Wilner, at a meeting held last year to discuss the bonus situation, did not disclose that 2200 hours would be the cutoff. As a result, “[a]ll the associates had to go on were rumors, which caused many associates to scramble at the last minute to achieve what they thought would be a sufficient amount of hours…. I’m not so much concerned about the amounts involved as much as I am concerned about the lack of information that floats through this firm.”
Two other bizarre bits of news about Kaye Scholer — involving “a giant Care Bear” and a roller derby queen named “She Raw,” which would seem to take the firm to Venable-level heights of weirdness — after the jump.
Another source at Kaye Scholer wrote us as follows:
I received a Vault Top 100 report card from a recruiting firm. I looked up my firm, Kaye Scholer, and found in the section “insiders say” that “on Thursdays someone dressed up in a giant Care Bear costume and walks around giving massages”First, unless I’m missing something, I’ve never seen “a giant Care Bear” at KS. Second, how exactly did this get by a Vault editor? Are giant, massage-giving care bears so common among midtown corporate firms that fact checking is not required?
This next story is rather old, from November. But it hasn’t appeared in these pages before, so we figured we’d throw it in, while we’re talking about Kaye Scholer. From a tipster:
A mildly interesting story in the New York Times about NYC Roller Derby. Relevant for the legal world, it appears that one of the interviewees is an associate at Kaye Scholer named Danielle Noonan… aka “She Raw.”
From the story:
In a black dress and pumps, Danielle Noonan arrived for practice at the old cigar factory earlier this week direct from her office in the law firm of Kaye Scholer, where she practices patent law. She had never played a team sport, and had been trudging miserably on health club treadmills to keep fit. Then she heard about the derby, and fell for its generous camaraderie and silliness. For today’s match, Ms. Noonan, 28, will change into a short skirt with bloomers underneath, emerging as She Raw.Lovely. But a search on the Kaye Scholer website does not unearth the presence of “She Raw.” Has she skated off for greener pastures? Like a firm where special bonuses aren’t tied to hours?“People from the office come to watch — mostly men, waiting for me to fall and hoot when my skirt flies up,” she said. “They’re asking me to join the firm’s football team, but between derby and billable hours, there’s no time left.”
(42) Comments
Comments
in before people complain about not enough bonus news, NY to 190, blah blah blah
i heart kaye scholer
She Raw: Could it be "Danielle J. Garrod" who does IP in NYC? Perhaps married recently? Maybe she dropped Noonan, rather than make it her middle name... No picture on the Kaye Scholer site.
I totally remember how roller derby was on tv on Fridays and there were those HAWT BABES with that one skinny old dude who was the "coach." I remmebr that I was always like, "Hey Zack: why does that old guy get to hang out with all of the babes and we have to sit and watch tv in our underwear?" Now I'm thinking that maybe he was their grandpa? ANYONE?! Seriously, are there a lot of "physical" women at BIGLAW? I'm going to be a summer associate soon, and I'm thinking htat maybe I can get physical uh uh uh...psych guys! Not really, bros!!!
Waiting for the inevitable "who is Kaye Scholar?" and "that firm is TTT" comments...
nnnnnnNoonan.....nnnnnNoonan
I hereby present barry, at 1:00pm, with "the nonsensical crappy comment of the day award"
I guess it is better than "first" or "second" or "nyc to 190" or the other typical comment junk found here...
dude, barry is my hero. best poster since WGWAG. Better than FRAT STUD
She Raw: http://www.gothamgirlsrollerderby.com/girls/profile.php?player=sheraw
Yes - no surprise here - firms are hedging their bets, especially since business has slowed down most places on the transactional side over the past few months and it is basically now confirmed that we are in a recession. It was irrational exuberance to think that every one of these firms could continue to pay out special bonuses well into 2008 in this economic environment. If you already got your money, thank your luck stars and cash the check as soon as possible.
I told you so.
Its not all that bad here, some people got more than special bonus!
For an interview with sheRaw:
http://www.crunchable.net/articles/?p=340
not very hot
Yes really, bros.
How are bloomers different from underpants?
bloomers = knickers
DLA Piper is sending around individual bonus memos as we speak. Also, Austin, Baltimore and Dallas went to $160k, and Atlanta, Philly, Phoenix, and Tampa went to 145k.
Okay then, how are knickers differnt from underpants? I mean, what kind of comment is:
"Noonan, 28, will change into a short skirt with bloomers underneath..."
Most women always knickers underneath short skirts... so how are bloomers different?
Anyway, whatever.
1:34 - So what does your memo say, dipshit?
Austin, Baltimore, Dallas - 160K
NYC - ???
Danielle is correct that we go to watch her from time to time, but the interest is not in catching a glimpse of her knickers, but in hopes that she sustains a severe head injury.
DLA bonuses are low this year. Very low.
Austin to 190!!!!
How low? $1000? Isn't this the largest law firm in the world now?
1:36, I think the inference you should draw here is that NYC didn't change. it's 160.
1:37 - if you work there, what was your bonus and which office are you in? If you don't and you're just using the teh interwebs to be a dick, then . . . please stop doing that.
DLA bonuses are under market.
It appears that DLA used their previously announced (last summer) bonus table instead of raising it to market. They are way below Latham and others.
Please explain this table in further detail.
It looks like DLA bonuses are based on the outlook for 2008 rather than the (record) performance numbers for 2007.
Thanks DLA!
What is KS's hours-based criteria for the regular bonus? The 07 memo references the guidelines laid out in 'last year's memo'...
There is a Danielle Noonan. She isn't likely admitted yet (she's a '06) so therefore she's not yet on the firm's website.
Can we get more crap against KS, so they'll give us some bonuses?
And for 2:01 - Full market bonus at 2000 hours with another bump at 2400.
Wow! A 2001 CA associate with 2000 hours and good performance rating makes less than a 2006 CA associate from Latham with 2000 hours. Ouch!
2:07 -- If KS associates get full market bonus at 2000 hours and the special bonus at 2200, then what is the bump they get at 2400?
An additional bump. KS rewards you plentifully if you get to 2400 hours. Unfortunately, no one does.
"KS rewards you plentifully if you get to 2400 hours. Unfortunately, no one does."
In what twisted universe is not "getting to work" 2400 hours "unfortunate"?
I just called the times to see if Ms. Noonan's quote actually held any water, and it turns out it was a complete misquote. She did say her colleagues came to watch roller derby games. She apparently referred to the idiots like Mr. "going to be a summer associate" as the types who croon over skirts flying up, not those from her firm.
I've seen the sport, and Roller Derby girls would make any of you gossipy tight-asses run back to your stuffy, coffin-like cubicles, no matter how big your bonus was.
Danielle Noonan is fact an associate at KS and has not been admitted yet so she is not up on the website. I'm not really sure where Carebears and rollerderby fit into the bonus discussion. Bonuses: market at 2000, special bonus at 2200 and an extra bump at 2400. There were plenty of people who made the 2400 bonus as well as many who made no bonus. It really depends on the department, and pro bono can count towards an unlimited number of hours. As for the giant sized massaging Carebear, that remains a mystery to everyone but if anyone can get in touch with him tell him to stop by, my neck is killing me.
Pro bono hours are not unlimited as at least on KS associate who billed way over 2200 hours (350+ pro bono) did not get the special bonus.
Sounds like the "pro bono hours counting towards bonus rhetoric comes with some fine print." Or merely lip service.
I worked at KS for 2 years, it is a horrible place. The firm was cheap. The people were mean and the support staff was lazy.
The idea of the firm doing anything for a staff is silly... (massages? nah, they would only do that if they could bill the time. If it is true, I assure you at least two clients is being billed 3 hours, for the 15 minute massage)
6:38 - anyone that spends 2 years at a law firm probably ran into some problems; most of which centered on him or herself. Don't be so bitter! I'm sure you'll make a fine addition to the public defender's office.
KS is notoriously cheap, which continues to hurt the reputation and prestige of the Firm.
KS isn't as cheap as it used to be. At least, that's what I thought until I found out why I didn't get a special bonus.