Lawsuit of the Day Last Month: Talk About a 'Special' Bonus
(The bonus you claim after pleading guilty to paying a mom so you can have sex with her two underage daughters)
(We missed this case because it happened over the holidays, when we were away from ATL. But we've received several requests to cover this super-juicy story, so we'll go for it, despite being so late to the party.)
We described Schoenfeld v. Allen & Overy, a lawsuit by a Jewish associate against his former law firm, as "the Jewish version of Aaron Charney v. Sullivan & Cromwell." Now we're looking at "the pervert-who-has-sex-with-13-and-15-year-old-sisters version of Charney v. S&C."
From the New York Daily News:
A disgraced lawyer who paid a mother to allow him to have sex with her underage daughters is looking for a payday of his own - from the elite law firm where he once worked.James Colliton is suing Cravath, Swaine & Moore for $1.45 million, accusing the white-shoe firm of stiffing him on an annual bonus, salary and vacation pay.
Reached by phone at his home in Poughkeepsie, the convicted sex offender refused to talk about his suit, which was handwritten on notebook paper.
"It's all in there," Colliton said.
That's what he told her. Also, we'd expect better than a complaint "handwritten on notebook paper" from James Colliton. If Aaron Charney can type up his pro se complaint against his former firm, surely an ex-Cravath lawyer can do the same.
More discussion, beyond the jump.
Still from the NYDN article:
The 43-year-old tax lawyer formerly earned $500,000 a year at Cravath, Swaine & Moore - where first-year associates make six-figure salaries with bonuses of $35,000. Colliton cried poverty last year, saying he didn't have enough cash to pay his lawyer. Now he wants his former employer to line his pockets with money for allegedly shorting him on salary and bonuses."The [firm] has breached its promise to pay [Colliton] a 'make-up bonus,' " he wrote.
Colliton accused bosses at the firm - where he worked from 2000 until his March 2006 arrest - of inflicting "emotional distress" by snooping on his phone calls and e-mails.
Oh please. Cravath has far more effective ways of inflicting "emotional distress" on its lawyers than a little eavesdropping. They don't call it the Death Star for nothing.
Colliton told the New York Post:
"My trial with Cravath will, for the first time ever, expose to the public how the most prestigious law firms in the world really operate," Colliton told the NY Post. "People will be really surprised."
We shall see. One tipster wonders:
Can you dig up some juicy details about the suit filed by James Colliton against CSM? I'm curious to hear all of the dark secrets that Colliton threatens to divulge about his former employer.
Like the fact that they once employed a guy who paid a mom so he could sleep with her underage daughters?
This lawsuit is pretty ridiculous, but we're looking forward to following it. If you have any personal knowledge of Colliton or the "dark secrets" about Cravath that he's threatening to spill, please email us.
Lawyer who had sex with teens seeks bonus from law firm [New York Daily News]
Perv Sues Law Firm for Bonus [New York Post]
Fired Child Molesting NYC Lawyer Sues Cravath for Unpaid Bonus and 'Emotional Distress' [Blogonaut]
(75) Comments
second . . . oh wait, it is totally idiotic to brag about posting first or second. what the hell am i doing? i need to rethink my life. why am i wasting my time. i am such a loser. but i get paid a lot of money by a law firm to surf the web. . . . hmmmm . . .
second.
I wonder if it's handwritten because he's forbidden access to a computer, being a convicted sex offender and all.
Whatever. Lat please post the Complaint about the Seinfeld cook book
9:20, that complaint was posted all over the comments yesterday. You can find out on the WSJ or the Smoking Gun.
But he still could have used an old-fashioned typewritter. I learned to type on one of those.
Yes, I am old.
I did like the way the NY Post referred to him consistently as "dough faced discraced lawyer." Yep, this guy better be paying for it or he's gonna be shit out of luck for a long long while.
"Like the fact that they once employed a guy who paid a mom to sleep with her underage daughters?"
Dude, you gotta phrase it better. You know what I mean.
but i get paid a lot of money by a law firm to surf the web. . . . hmmmm . . .
Enjoy it while it lasts- you're number will be up shortly...
yeah, definitely, when I first read the sentence I thought it meant that he paid to watch the mother with her daughters.
is he in prison? maybe they don't have a typewriter.
tax guys are weird
Gentlemen in my preparatory school would often bring suit against their former employers, seeking compensation and threatening to expose such employer's unsavory practices after besmirching their own reputations by engaging in dalliances with underaged temptresses. It was not a conspicuous event.
"They don't call it the Death Star for nothing."
That was the old Skadden building, and anyone who calls Skadden that now needs to take a trip to 4 Times Square.
his complaint was "handwritten on notebook paper"?
doesn't this, to some extent, undermine his lawyer's claim that the perv would not likely have paid to have sex with those underage "skanks" since he had the financial wherewithal to buy any "tuchus" he wanted?
certainly, a man who can afford any tuchus he wants can afford a computer or a typewriter?
"Like the fact that they once employed a guy who paid a mom to sleep with her underage daughters?"
Cross out "to" and replace with "so that he can". Redline and clean copy plz.
hilarious, 9:43. Howard Greenberg's defense will go down in the annals of NY's pederast defenses.
9:45--Cross out "can" and replace with "could." thx
"handwritten on notebook paper"
Cravath, is that how you train your lawyers how to file a complaint there?
What a TTT.
Not for long -- I'm glad to see that you understand when someone is employing irony -- oh, from your comment which assumes that I really get paid to surf the web, I guess you don't. See -- my first sentence in this post was ironic. Do you get it now? Terd.
"Like they once employed a pedophile who paid a mom so he could have sex with her kids"
Not a fan of "sleep with" as a phrase meaning sex.
Also, Not for long -- you should have written "your number will be up shortly," not "you're number will be up shortly." "You're" is a contraction that is short for "you are." "Your" is a possessive pronoun. At the risk of being repetitive, you are a fucking terd. hahahahahahahaahahahahaaha. Whatever firm pays you to write has made a seriously poor investment.
10:06,
The proper spelling is "turd," not "terd."
Seriously, who can't spell "turd"?
Horse's ass.
Still think 22 months is a short sentence.
Agree with 9:33. When I first read the headline, well, nevermind...
To the contract attorney posting at 9:12, 10:03, 10:06 :
Get back to work.
There are thousands upon thousands of documents awaiting the click of your index finger to decide whether they are "relevant" or "not relevant."
Vital litigation hangs in the balance, man!
Both client and firm are counting on you ... ... ... until this 6-week project is over and you're tossed out on your ear. Again.
Why has ATL not obtained or posted a link to the handwritten complaint? Based on this dud'es picture and his extracurricular activities, I have a mental image of the handwriting "quality".
I meant Training Equipment Requirements Document: http://acronyms.thefreedictionary.com/TERD. Asswhole.
Handwritten notebook paper? Are you serious? That is freaking awesome. I hope he "drew" a pretty looking caption and everything else.
10:17 -- I'm a fifth year associate at a great firm. (I'm also off today, which is why I am tooling around the internet -- how about you? Surfing the web at work?) But what the hell would it matter if I were a contract attorney? There are quite a few brilliant contracts at my firm who do better work then associates, no doubt better work than you are capable of. But one thing is clear: you are an obnoxious, elitist a-hole. So, um, how do you say in English? Fuck you.
10:23 said "There are quite a few brilliant contracts at my firm who do better work *then * associates, no doubt better work than you are capable of" (emphasis added).
Your incorrect use of "then" and your failure to front the sentence-final preposition are both hereby publicly noted.
Good luck making it past the "5th year." Contractor.
Check out this story from a couple years ago -- http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/03/03/national/main1367989.shtml This guy is pure evil. I question whether he's sufficiently strategized his lawsuit. For one thing, I would find voir dire a little awkward: "So do you think you would have any problem being fair to a middle aged man with five children who periodically fucked a 13-year-old girl and her 15-year-old sister who were forced into prostitution?" And what about closing argument? "Ladies and gentlemen, if a man in this country gets fired merely because he pays to have so-called consensual sex with a 13-year-old girl, well I'm not sure I want to live in a country like that."
He was NOT a tax guy. He was an ERISA/Employee Comp guy. Lets keep that straight.
10:31
yeah. everybody knows tax guys prefer them: (1) younger, and (2) with pen!ses.
10:23, I'm as much of a "contractor" as you are. And if you knew anything about modern usage, you would know that ending a sentence with a preposition is no longer forbidden. See Churchill ("This is nonsense up with which I will not put."), or any modern usage guide, such as Bryan Garner's. But just to please you and your antiquated, 19th century prohibition against sentence-ending prepositions:
"There are quite a few brilliant contracts at my firm who do better work than associates, no doubt better work than you are capabale of, asshole."
Thanks for that extra pair of eyes. And thanks for the well-wishes for my career. I hope to fucking cream your weak ass in court one day.
10:37
I do transactional work.
We live in different worlds.
Courts are for poors.
OK, so you're an elitist a-hole. Case closed.
10:37, you did not correctly spell the word "capable."
What's with the pro se? Was Wm. Unroch too busy?
Yes, I guess in the war of who spells more correctly and uses better grammar, I have fallen from my exalted perch by mistyping an extra a. This is stupid. Why did I waste my time arguing with an anonymous transactional attorney? I really do need to reexamine my life. But I still suspect you're an asshole.
10:42 - Do you also still live with your mother?
i heart fraternity lothario. bring on the atl esoterica!!
Anyway, should it not be "Eating Club Lothario"? Though I heart him too...
that's below the belt, 10:51 -- he's going to get his own place soon -- honestly! Now go make him some nachos while he watches Deep Space Nine reruns.
You want to "cream" his ass?
Yes, cream his ass. So what? Should I have written creem? It means turn his ass into cream. A little crass? Sure. A little immature? Certainly. A little homoerotic? Perhaps. But then again, fuck you.
Holy crap on a stick. Eye doo not epprove uf thes vaped ficksashun on gramaticel nisetees becuz it evinses a pathetik need too feel sooperior based on meeningless trivialiteez. There. Go nuts.
A greed. U R right. By which I take it you mean that the transactional poindexter eats balls.
I love it when the law school students get back on the intraweb. I missed you guys -- and you all seem to be guys -- over the holiday break when we working stiffs could not match this level of homoerotic posturing up on the ATL. Wlecome back. Sincerely.
Who cares what you love? You're a woman.
I smell a book coming from this tool. Perhaps he can title it the "Associate Diaries."
And by the way, I'm not a law student -- I'm a senior associate. I am posting this bs between waiting for my stupid document database to reload while I prepare to take a depo and eat breakfast. Just my way of blowing off steam and mouthing off in a way that my weakling ass could never do in public for fear of an ass whooping. OK, I've confessed -- are you happy? And just because it's homoerotic doesn't mean that people are not out to get you.
11:06
Obviously *not* the original commenter since your comment lacked either grammatical or spelling errors.
10:29: You are, of course, right about the original poster's incorrect usage of "then." Your adherence to the tired and baseless preposition superstition is sad, though.
Amazing deductive powers, my dear Watson, but mistaken as usual -- I am the original poster. I've posted about 35% of these posts, which I admit is a rather dubious distinction. And if we are going to get crazy about grammar, you should only use "since" to describe elapsed time. You should have used "because." Satizfyied?
And by the way, it should be ". . . because your comment lacked both grammatical and spelling errors."
Owned, biznatch!
11:19 & 11:27
sadly mistaken, the each of you.
(1) re: since: consult a dictionary.
(2) re: suggested use of because/both/and-construction: the suggested phrase requires that the comment could *only not* have been authored by the original commenter if it, for example, was grammatically incorrect but otherwise devoid of spelling errors. this would be inaccurate because the original commenter has posted each (i) grammatically correct comments with misspellings, (ii) grammatically incorrect comments with misspellings, AND (iii) grammatically incorrect comments without misspellings.
Jesus H. Christ. Will you people go back to AutoAdmit where you belong?
worst. ATL. thread. ever.
11:41 -- what the fuck are you talking about? That is inscrutable! Your usage is ridiculous.
This is an awesome post about a hilarious pedophile tax lawyer, and this is all you people've come up with? The profession really is in decline.
you're all idiots. of course 11:06 is the same guy. is the following not a grammatical nightmare?
"I am posting this bs between waiting for my stupid document database to reload while I prepare to take a depo and eat breakfast."
Eating breakfast takes a lot of preparation, nitpicker. "is the following not a grammatical nightmare?" -- what kind of stiltish, schoolmarmish usage is that? see, two can play at that game.
another scuzzy NYU grad. What is wrong with that shcool?
I didn't know jesus had a middle name...H for Herbert?
12:22 -- it's not so much the unusual need for breakfast prep that caught my eye as the "between/while" disjunction.
but thanks for playing.
Agreed. NYU should be shut down for continually graduating such d-bags.
How about simply "once employed a statutory rapist"?
"That's what he told her" would have been much funnier had it read, "that's what she said." does anyone watch the office?
I'm with 12:32...what does the "H" stand for?
Except that it wouldn't be what "she" said, because the double entendre alludes to the size of Pedophile, Esq's junk, not the victim's.
Heaven
"Whatever. Lat please post the Complaint about the Seinfeld cook book"
Moron:
In response to your last out-of context request I have you the link, by URL cite.
Click on the 5th (down) Blogonaut "News Bites" post, and in the referenced post is the link.
Bottom line: Nobody publishes cook book on how to trick your kiddies into eating healthy food. Jerry Seinfeld's wife more or less does the same thing. Nobody sues Jerry's large breasted wife.
Jerry goes on Letterman and compares Nobody to the killer of John Lennon (or something like that).
Nobody amends compl to add slander C/A.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
H. stands for Hector.
Wm. Unroch only represents chicks with dicks, apparently.
Will someone please post or link the Colliton complaint?