In the 2nd circuit we find that salve adequate

Although it was pretty mean of her to leak his email to a blog (or to send it around to enough friends so that it wound up on a blog).

Can anyone explain why the picture of Chris Matthews appears?

9th circuit is the shit, hombre!

Have fun with your unit, Mr. Slave.

Tacky -- tacky to link to it. This has nothing to do with law, lawyers, law firms, clerkships, or anything, except someone involved apparently happens to have a job clerking. Way to go in perpetuating the story and the race to the bottom.

I'm with 6:22 on this one.

This link is really tacky.

6:22/6:27: Have you read the link/letter? It is hilarious. The way he obnoxiously throws around the 9th circuit job does make it relevant to this blog. I bet a lot of clerks are trying to figure out who it is - if for no other reason to make sure they/their friends never date him!

6:22/27 are idiots. This email is solid gold. Anyone who drops a random reference to their precious 9th circuit clerkship into a breakup email deserves all the ridicule that follows. What, no LSAT scores?

I'm with 6:34 / 6:40.

This link is right up ATL's alley: the 9th Circuit angle, poking fun at self-important lawyers, salaciousness / gossip value, etc.

"Meredith" has excellent decision-making skills in ditching this guy.

This former 9th cir. clerk obviously knows a thing or two about orgasms.

And now I know why: The San Francisico annual Masterbatathon, of course.

I am serious, google it.

Although the e-mail references a "9th Circuit job", it doesn't say anything about clerking or being a recent law grad. How do we know it isn't a judge (assuming the names have been changed to protect the guilty)? After all, the e-mail references "moving to an area with no timeline when I might leave". Sounds like a reference to life tenure, no?

There's really very, very little in this email to indicate this guy is in the legal field. LEt alone that he is a clerk.

He has lunch with his "unit" for Christ's sake. What the hell does that mean?

Anyway, those two guys posting earlier are right: This is a stupid link. I would have preferred not to have seen it. Until someone can verify that this guy is a clerk or a judge or a lawyer, then I think it is a waste of time.

Lat, you were on _fire_ today! We need another "gunner stories" thread next week.

Although it's ambiguous from his email, I actually think his reference to the Ninth Circuit clerkship refers to her job, not to his. She was going to SF for only a year and then leaving, whereas he was going to be in SF indefinitely (and apparently thought she didn't "respect that" enough). That is how I read this, anyway. And also I think I know the person involved....

7:20 - TITCR. I'm surprised you and I are the only ones to pick up on this yet, because it jumped into my head immediately. This guy barely seems literate enough to write for USA Today, let alone clerk on the 9th Circuit. Also, he says that he's moving to SF with no idea of how long he'll be there. If were clerking, he'd know exactly how long he was going to be there: 1 or 2 years. He's probably a secretary, court reporter, bailiff, or mail boy.

7:20/8:31:

The subliteracy angle is persuasive that the person is not a clerk. (Maybe, in addition to his heart, she broke his brain as well...?) Plus, who refers to their co-clerks as their "unit"? (Which I am presuming is a work group somehow.)

At a vocabulary level, however, it seems attorney-ish: "envision a scenario"? "irrelevant as any justification . . . that you felt not due me" (ungrammatical, but I'm focusing on the words here)? "full consent"??? Who talks about "full consent"? (At least he didn't say "informed consent"...)

Also--would a secretary, or court reporter, or mail boy, throw around "Ninth Circuit"? In a breakup letter? Even a staff attorney who works at the circuit, and who knows that circuit courts are a big deal, etc., would probably have gotten over himself.

(This clerk might also be intending to stay in SF after finishing his term, right? Hence not knowing where he's going?)

The rather large staff attorney's office is based in San Francisco. You can keep the job for up to five years before they show you the door. He might be doing that.

He'll fit right in with the 9th Circuit:

1. Remove "Meredth" and replace with "President Bush;"

2. Replace "spoiled words" with endangered specie du jour;

3. In the place of "salve of an orgasm" read "Administrative Procedures Act."

Uncanny.

Reason 493 I'm glad to be a nontrad: being in a long-term relationship means never having to put up with dating drama during law school.

8:31, 8:46, and 8:48 - you are retarded. I already told you that Ninth Circuit refers to her, not to him. He is most likely not a lawyer.

MY SCHLONG IS OH-SO-LONG AND GIVES LADIES SOMETHING TO MUCH ON!!

Uh....

"And little respect for my situation- where I work, where I live. You may have been leaving, but this is my San Francisco, and Ninth Circuit job- this is me moving to an area with no timeline of when I will leave. It was a risk- dating you. Risking my reputation. Where was respect for that?"

Isn't this quote above the ONLY reference to anything remotely legal in the entire e-mail? Isn't the only reference to being a law clerk, at all, in the comments section? Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't see where everyone gets that this is from a 9th circuit clerk....

10:11 is the author of the letter trying to throw his 9th Circuit co-workers off his scent! Nice try, but no lawyer would ever buy into your tortured interpretation.

The paragraph that talks about the 9th Circuit job starts out by claiming that the recipient did not respect where "I" worked and lived. The pronoun "I" clearly refers to the author. Then the author notes that the recipient is leaving (using the pronoun "you"), but claims ownership of San Fransisco and a 9th Circuit job himself (using "my"). The paragraph continues in the first-party, talking about "me" moving with no idea of when "I" will return. Perhaps this is where your confusion arose, since the paragraph mentions both "you" and "me" moving. But this doesn't indicate that the author is using pronouns interchangeably to refer to the second-party; merely that both the author and recipient are moving (maybe not at the same time, maybe not to/from the same place).

I hope this clears things up. I would recommend a course called "Legislation" that most law schools offer dealing with statutory interpretation, but I know 5th grade English is a pre-req for the course at my school, so you may have to take that first.

HTH!!

Agreed with 11:23.

Note that nowhere does he actually refer to a being a clerk. His statement that his job is indefinite ("with no timeline of when I will leave... (sic.)") is totally inconsistent with him being a "chambers" clerk.

My vote would be "mail room clerk" or the equivalent. Of course, it does note that he moved to San Francisco, apparently for the position, so it could be something more substantive. Perhaps IT geek, records clerk, or staff attorney.

Seems clear to me that's the author's CTA9 job. How else do you interpret it?

Also, its clearly a clerkship. The only reason people cast doubt on that is the indefinite duration in San Francisco, but so what, anyone who clerked knows tons of people who moved to a city for their clerkship with the intention of making it their base for future employment. One of the great perks of practicing in the city where you clerked is that you know the judges and other court personnel, so its not surprising he'd move to San Fran for the clerkship and stay to practice.

The suggestion that its mail room or other staff is retarded. No one in that position would refer to it as a "9th Circuit job" -- its just a government job or court job. "9th Circuit" only has cache among other lawyers.

so then who is Meredith? and why would dating her put his reputation at risk? if he's a clerk, is she a secretary or something?

12:11 - OK, maybe you're right and a mail room guy wouldn't describe his new job using the adjective "9th Circuit". But there's no reason to think somebody closer to the judiciary, yet still short of a clerk, would not. All of us read "9th Circuit job" as connoting some level of prestige - a way of bragging. But it is entirely possible that the author is a judge's assistant, bailiff, or otherwise attached to the court in a way that would cause him to use "9th Circuit" to describe his job. "Unit" implies some kind of military or police association, not a judicial clerk. I bet this guy works for the U.S. Marshalls or is otherwise involved with security for the 9th Circuit. The uncertain timeline isn't the only evidence suggesting the author is not a clerk (I agree it is not absolutely dispositive). I think the author's overall poor writing ability is the biggest indication that he's not a clerk. Granted, not everyone who gets a federal clerkship is on the Yale Law Journal. But 99.9% of them surely possess better writing ability than this guy.

I figure Meredith has got to be at least a stripper (amybe even a hooker)--why else would the guy be risking his reputation by dating her?

i don't believe the stripper thesis ... too sensational. i think she's a secretary. it's more realistic and lots of lawyers slum that way

This email makes no sense at all. Whatsoever.

But shame on Meredith for sharing it with anyone (except maybe an extremely close friend who might be able to help her decipher what the h*%$ was talking about. And for her to send an email from a lover that she spurned to a tabloid blog? That just lacks class or compassion.

My bet is the the author of the email is a CSO or Marshall for the Ninth Circuit. That would explain (1) referring to the Circuit itself and (2) the phrase "having breakfast with my unit" (since some security roles eat on the job).

The real point, though, is that this should have never been forwarded to a blog by the original receiver. What a tacky thing to do. And all others that date her are forewarned to never open up or trust her, lest their reputations are also smeared about in the public forum. For crying out loud - show a little grace as you break a guy's heart.

I support 7:22's CSO/Marshal thesis. I can definitely see a cop writing this email.

12:35 is RIGHT ON!

She was moving from SF to SoCal; maybe she was was the one with a 9th Circuit job and his ill-written meaning was that he was staying behind (with a presumably ruined reputation) while she was moving on (to start fresh).

I don't care what the actual circumstances were; anybody with that kind of self-important, pretentious attitude (combined with a failed attempt at a "lofty" writing style) is fair game for a good laugh, especially when it's anonymous. I do suspect he's a lawyer, though, for the same reasons that 8:46 mentioned. I have a hard time thinking that any of the older-than-god officers at the courthouse would be sufficiently email-literate or care enough to mention the 9th Circuit by name.

Knowing that Kozinski reads this blog, let us know what happens to this guy, won't you?

The guy is a douchebag on a par with that John Fitzgerald Page clown from Atlanta; still, it is shitty for her to forward around the tortured email he sent her. She DID date him and sleep with him, he didn't deserve to be ridiculed for his feelings, at least by her- no matter how stupid he sounds to the rest of us.

I still cannot decide whether he is a law clerk or not; or whether she is; or how his "reputation" was risked by dating her, other than perhaps that they were co-workers at one point. Each time I read the email I feel my IQ drop a few points; and so I will leave this pointless story where I found it. Except to note that if this dude is not a lawyer he OUGHT to be one because he is such a perfect tool.

I agree with the "he works for the staff attorneys office" explaination. It explains everything. He would have the job for the indefinite future. A staff attorney would identify him or herself as working for the Ninth Circuit. And there are different divisions in the Ninth Circuit's staff attorney office -- i.e., civil, criminal, and COAs.

I agree with 5:18--- piecing together his half-coherent email I think that HE was a staff attorney with a steady job of at least a few years in front of him, and when they began dating SHE was a law clerk about to leave the court to take a job at a firm (or, perhaps she was a staff attorney about to leave the court). Thus his self-obsessed whining- HE would be left behind on the 9th Circuit with everyone knowing they had dated and then he'd been dumped.

He wrote that e-mail after whacking back a six pack.

I go fo rthe Marshall/cop angle. The whole "unit' thing only makes sense in that context. (Of course, when coupled with that writing ability).

Heartache + bottle of vodka = jibberish

There are different "units" in the staff attorney office, as somebody noted above.

What a total bitch - him, that is.

If there was any doubt in her mind before, I'm sure it's gone now.

No I don't feel bad for him, because even as he is whining like the most annoying 8th grader that anyone ever broke up with, he is still trying to tell her that she owes him because being with her risked his reputation.

I thought all 9th Cir. clerks were virgins.

Along the lines of young and email-literate CSO or Marshal, what about the Probation Office?

How about a post on failed relationships in law school or during the transition to one's first job out of law school? This is definitely not the worst story I've heard. Also, it seems like the timing of law school graduation and first-year associate life coincides perfectly with the on-set of a quarter-life crisis.