Uncle Cardozo Wants You: Help Nickname the Attorneys of the New York Law Department!
A tipster just wrote us: "Post this, and we can have at it in the comments!"
Happy to oblige. From the New York Times:
If a group is to be recognized as a significant force in municipal life, it needs a nickname. The police have been dubbed New York’s Finest longer than anyone can remember. Firefighters go by New York’s Bravest. Sanitation workers are the Strongest and correction officers the Boldest. Attempts have been made to cast public school teachers as the Brightest.But what about the roughly 690 lawyers on the city payroll? (This is your first and last chance to insert a lawyer joke, if you must.)
Seriously, members of the city’s Law Department labor without a punchy nickname. They could use one.
So go ahead; have at it, in the comments. If enough possible nicknames are generated, we'll take the top contenders and create a reader poll -- and then pass along the winning entry to the NYC Law Department.
Always on the City’s Side in Court, and Without a Good Nickname [New York Times]
(160) Comments
Posted In: Law Firm Names
New York's Firstest
The Underpaidest.
New York's Poorest
New York's TTToiletest
Is "doucheiest" a word?
The Wannabees
NEw York's Homoest
New York's Jewiest
New York's Shrewdest
New York's Crankiest
New York's Most Decadent
New York's Craftiest
Jewiest. Haha
how about the Red Sox?
New York's Learnedest
how about the Red Sox?
New York's Litigious (est)
Learnedest = LOL!
(Love the self-undermining quality of it.)
The teachers are New York's brightest? Doesn't that speak volumes for NY!
New York's never to 160est
New York's Fairest
NYLS Grads United (or CUNY Albion).
New York's trip and fall defenders.
New York's stingiest
New York's CUNYist
New York's Dullest?
NY's No Bonusiest
Boston's Brightest
New York's Ramennoodliest
New York's Self-Lothingest
Narcissitic
Yuppies
Chompin'
Lotsa
Donuts
New York's Rapist
New Yorks Poorest
Stop the thread, 4:57's got it.
This entire post is an abomination... the disgusting display of disrespect towards other members of the bar is beneath contempt. Get a grip.
I legitimately like "New York's Fairest."
Damn, 5:04. Don't take it so seriously.
5:04,
I'm not even a member of the bar (yet), and I've already made more money in the legal preofession than someone who's been working for the NYLD for a full year.
New York's Clueless.
New York's Section 8iest
New York's Cheapest-Suitiest.
New York's Chief Bureaucrats
Hofstra Class of '98
New York's Worst
New York's Nevergonnapayofflawschoolloaniest.
New York's Diversiest.
Ok, I dissed 5:04 above, but you're taking it a little far, 5:07(2) (especially considering that you're not even a lawyer yet).
New York's Thankless
Slight modifcation- New York's Fairiest
Sorry, I only meant to hurt 5:04, not actual NYLD people, many of whom are actually really good...
... for me to poop on.
New York's Munipplest
New York's Stupidest?
5:04
A priest, a rabbi, and a lawyer walk into a bar . . .
New York's Order of the Cough
I worked for city government one time (not NYC). Good work and plenty of it. No f*ing money though . . . holy shit. I vote for "New York's Anal Rape Victims," their motto: "we take it up the ass for you"
5:21 - that title already belongs to the MTA.
New York's MensWearhousiest
New York's Half-assedest
Law & Order: Not-so-special Victims Unit
5:24
Win!!!!
Or, as an alternative, NY's "Two-fer" Suitiest.
If you are looking to ATL reader comments for high-minded discussion, you are in the wrong place. I would not take the comments seriously. The Law Department is a decent way for people to get litigation experience and move to the private sector, sometimes to biglaw, and sometimes for people without another avenue to make such a move.
New York's Jos. A. Banks Outletiest
5:04: go home and beat your wife or something, you miserable prick you. Have some humility . . .
I like New York's Shrewdest.
5:30: you're absolutely correct, thanks for pointing out the obvious. Can we go back to having some fun now? Or would prefer "high-minded discussion?"
New York's Wretchedest
New York's Trip-and-Falliest
New York's Importantest
New York's Anal-est
New York's Bitterest
New York Whatthafuckest
New York's Whatthafuckest
New York's Leeriest?
New York's BARest
New York's Wile-E-Coyote-iest.
citizens of New Jersey
New York's Indebtedest
New York's LawyersWhoLeftWorkAnHourBeforeThisWasPostedAndWhoAreBanginTheBitchesWhoAren'tAllNightClubbing Model/WhorezTypesBut TheGirlNextDoorTypesWhoGetToTheBarsAndGoHomeWithCityEmployeesAndAreRidingNYLDCockBeforeThe BIGLAWassociateHasEvenStartedEatingHisTakeoutDinnerAtHisDeskiest.
6:58 provides some compelling support for New York's Stupidest
Yeah, except that since he is posting at 7 on a Friday night, I am guessing he is at Biglaw. Fortunately by the time I get off work, I will be able to get one of those model whores at a club
Cunning Legalest
NYU Grads?
The entry level salary is about $50,000. How do they live on this salary in New York City?
Great thread. My favorites so far:
New York's Shrewdest
New York's Cunning Linguists
Actually, my real favorite is 6:58, but let's face it, that's just not practical.
Worthlessest?
New York's WGWAGiest
i can haz nickname???
New York's Hand-me-down-iest
New York's third-career-iest
New York's Sharing-a-350-square-foot-studio-basement-apartment-with-a-cocktail-waitress-and-some-dude-that-arrived-on-a-floating-door--iest
I agree with 5:04. The legal profession is an honorable one. A profession we should treat with respect. These comments make sick!
..make ME sick! ugh!
New York's Tonsils
New York's KThxBy
Theeese comentz sick me make!!!?
New York's 6:58iest
Nerdiest?
does the DA's office get a nickname?
Guys at my high school named Alex used to want cool nicknames to be part of the crowd and then get all pissy when he found out that no one respected him all the time; it was no big deal.
New York's Slipperiest.
New York's Smallest Schlongists
12:41--
Yes. New York's We-Couldn't-Get-Hired-as-AUSAs-in-the-SDNYist.
Fogettaboutus
New York's Cheapest
New York's Dickensienest
New York’s Factory of Broken Dreams
New York's JC Pennyist
11:43, that's cute.
New York's Giulianiest
New York's Take-the-Subwayest
New York's least model/whoringest
Not
Your
Condescending
Law firm
Dandy
-est
I love the arrogance of all the 160K law firm library weenies. I'd like even more some day to see you on the other side of deposition table or at the other table in court. But, oh, I forgot, you don't go to court.
Well, if you ever need to, just paste these words to your foreheads: Foley Square. Someone will explain where and what the subway is. Limo parking is limited down there.
12:37, I have about 160,000 reasons (not including a bonus larger than your salary) why your post doesn't bother me in the slightest.
P.S. 12:37--cars drop us off; parking not required.
Hey 12:37 ("my bonus bigger than yours"), I made several 100Ks for years, but there's only so much groveling anyone with self-respect can take.
P.S. You probably won't make it to court in time in that car, and even if you do you'll spend the next 3 hours getting you and all your boxes in the door, especially since you don't know what a SecurePass is yet.
"New York's Fighting-est"?
See "Fighting for the City: A History of the
New York City Corporation Counsel" by William E. Nelson [NYU]. (“Fighting for the City” traces the history of New York City's Law Department and its predecessor office, the Recorder, from 1686 to 2001. Featuring a foreword by former Mayor Ed Koch).
2:10,
The kid we pay to carry boxes from the car into court makes more than you.
Cheers,
what do lawyers at big firms actually do everyday??
3:31 - you're reading it.
I you are a first-year lawyer in NYC and you aren't making at least $160,000, then you should shoot yourself.
Rumor has it McDermott's NYC office just raised to $170,000
6:30,
It isn't only New York. McDermott also raised to 170k in DC, Chicago, and Boston. All other U.S.-based McDermott offices supposedly went up to 165k. First time that I recall a Chicago firm being looked to as a market-leader in Manhattan!
P.s. According to last week's "OMM Sucks" post, some dude named Harvey at McDermott sent all associates flowers and swiss cholocates with their pay raise memos.
New York's Doctrinal[e]st
i also like new york's fairest.
New York's Toothiest.
New York's Swarthiest.
New York's Swankiest.
New York's Loudest.
New York's Angriest.
New York's Wordiest.
New York's Grumpiest.
New York's Hungriest.
New York's Greediest.
New York's Sharpest.
New York's Best...better than you, anyway.
New York's Adversarial-est.
Sorry, if you don't risk your life on a day to day basis, you don't deserve a nickname. That includes the city lawyers and sanitation workers. Correctional officers are a grey area, and teachers might be, depending on which school they toil in.
How about New York's Most Non-deservingest?
Zoo York's Cry in Beeriest
New York's Cognitive Disonanciest
I was offered a second year summer job at NYC LAW Dept. I turned it down. NYC is a great city....but it is not a great city on $50,000 with $1200 a month in loan repayments. Next.
The pay is a disgrace for a city as rich as New York. Hell, Charlotte, NC was offering jobs at their city law dept for between $68-$73,000....and it is a heack of alot cheaper to live down there!!
New York's Darwin Awardiest
New York's Slyest
New York's Small Cockest
New York's Duuuuh-est
New York's Shoulda-Studied-Harder-for-the-LSAT-iest
it just shows how pathetic law students and lawyers are to take so much time to insult members of their profession who make less money than them. Would you say that stuff to their face? Of course not, you guys are passive agressive losers.
And if any of you dorks want to flame me for insulting your right to insult other people, you're obviously a huge tool and douchebag.
12:16 is right. Some of you are just not funny.
It really is pathetic that some of you losers with small dicks (and smaller brains) feel the need to say shit like that.
This site is clearly being populated with AutoAdmit crossover retards
sounds like somebody's got a case of the low lsat blues.
Hey 1:44,
If you got such a high LSAT and went to such a great law school, why don't you go get that money and shut the hell up? Why you gotta go around hating on people who didn't do as well as you? Is your big house and nice job not good enough for you little whiny ass? Your the type of dude who got his lunch money jacked when he was in junior high and now takes it out by hatin on others on an internet messageboard
3:02, you're the type of dude that doesn't know the difference between you're and your. No wonder you have such a TTT job.
As a former LD'er, I find some of the comments on this absolutely hilarious. Truly. I spent 5 years in LD right out of law school, and it was just an incredibly experience. An abundance of interesting work, great people, and miserable pay. I left about 8 years ago to join a large international law firm HQed in the City and made equity partner several years ago. (And I work shorter hours than I did 8 years ago.)
For those "sympathizers" who think they're doing the profession a favor by defending the LD, please pull the coke bottle out of your ass and get a sense of humor. If you haven't been there, we don't need you sticking up for us on our behalf.
i cant believe they only pay 50k. nice "level of commitment" NYC
BigLaw Partner (6:19pm),
I make more money than you.
Sincerely,
BigLaw Partner (never worked at LD)
$57,358.00 to be exact
New York's Justest
BigLaw Partner (8:50PM),
My 3-year-old son makes more money in a quarter than your entire yearly payout.
And if you're in NYC you're probably my bitch too.
Now get back to the office, bitch.
Sincerely,
Fortune 100 CFO/COO/Ex-lawyer
New York Foulardist
Nothing like a thread on prosecutors to bring out the internet tough-guys. . .
As a firefighter/lawyer, I'd have to suggest "New York's Briefest"...
5:07pm et al.: Umm, I'm a practicing litigator working for the city government in NY (not the Law Dep't... btw how come they're the only ones who supposedly deserve a nickname?)
Let's do the tally: my job is better than yours; I have much more responsibiliy than you; I get more respect from my boss, my coworkers and other lawyers than you do; my coworkers are more fun and more competent than yours; I have much, much more free time than you; but, on the other hand, I make about 40% your salary. Thankfully, NY State (along with a growing number of law schools) gives me some financial aid to help with the loans.
Oh, almost forgot: after five or six years I'm going to lateral into your firm (with a nice signing bonus) and be ahead of you on the partner track.
If I were you, I guess I too would need lots of money to buy nice toys and a fancy condo and expensive cocktails, to distract me from the misery of my life...
Fortune 100 CFO/COO/ex-lawyer (9:50pm):
I'm padding my bills. And there nothing you can do about it. So suck it, b!tch.
New York's Toolishist