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Lawsuit of the Day: Second Circuit Gets That 'Not So Fresh' Feeling

not so fresh feeling Massengill douche douchebag Above the Law blog.jpgHere's an interesting factoid. According to a quick search we ran over at the Public Library of Law (powered by Fastcase), the word "douchebag" has yet to appear in the pages of F.3d. [FN1]

That may be about to change, if the Second Circuit decides to publish in a case that was just argued. From the AP:

A teen who used vulgar slang in an Internet blog to complain about school administrators shouldn't have been punished by the school, her lawyer told a federal appeals court.... [Ed. note: an "Internet blog" -- not to be confused with all those Non-Internet blogs.]

Avery Doninger, 17, claims officials at Lewis S. Mills High School violated her free speech rights when they barred her from serving on the student council because of what she wrote from her home computer.

In her Internet journal, Doninger said officials were canceling the school's annual Jamfest, which is similar to a battle of the bands contest. The event, which she helped coordinate, was rescheduled.

According to the lawsuit, she wrote: "'Jamfest' is canceled due to douchebags in central office," and also referred to an administrator who was "pissed off."

In the district court proceedings, there was some extensive discussion of the whole d-bag remark:

When [the school board's lawyer] pressed [student council treasurer Pat] Abate on whether he had ever seen the famous douchebag posting, Abate’s responses included: “I haven’t seen it on my computer monitor, I haven’t seen it in my dreams.”

Guess he isn't very imaginative.

[A lawyer] asked Abate and [senior class vice president Jackie] Evans to define douchebag.

“Stupid, moron, idiot, Abate said.

“Jerks,” Evans said.

Hmm.... They're in the vicinity, but haven't hit the definitional g-spot. We respectfully submit that the term "douchebag" carries a stronger sense of condemnation than the terms proffered by Abate and Evans. See UrbanDictionary.com (defining "douchebag" as "[s]omeone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and a**hole, however not yet reached f**ker or motherf**ker"). [FN2]

[FN1] Maybe someone with free Westlaw or Lexis access can confirm for us that F.3d is douchebag-free.

[FN2] Alternate definition of "douchebag" from Urban Dictionary: "A student or instructor at the Carlson School of Management at the University of Minnesota Twin Cities." Well, as long as it's not the law school....

Update: Thanks, commenters -- F.3d is certifiably douchebag-free.

Further Update: Oh wait... As this commenter notes, if you expand the search to include "douche bag" and "douche-bag," you'll see that F.3d has been thoroughly defiled.

Appeals Court Weighs Teen's Web Speech [AP]
Defense Crumbles as Students Weather Cross-Examination [CT News Junkie]
douchebag [Urban Dictionary]
douche commercial [YouTube]

Comments
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1 Posted by Me First State of Mind | Permalink Wednesday, March 5, 2008 10:13 PM

I am First after all.

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2 Posted by Me First State of Mind | Permalink Wednesday, March 5, 2008 10:15 PM

Now whether I am the first douchebag is up for debate, LOL.

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3 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, March 5, 2008 10:24 PM

To confirm, "douchebag" is used once in another case at 890 F. Supp. 382, 386, but it is not yet in F.3d.

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4 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, March 5, 2008 10:28 PM

Searching for douchebag on Westlaw, ALLFED brought up two results, one of which is this case (514 F.Supp.2d 199), the other of which is 890 F.Supp. 382

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5 Posted by Anonymous | Permalink Wednesday, March 5, 2008 11:10 PM

Don't forget "douche bag" .....

- 174 F.3d 95 (Atlantic City cops' testimony)

- 119 F.3d 563 (douche bag cunt)

433 F.Supp.2d 523, Dimeo v. Max (yes, Tucker Max) ("[one message board poster] wrote, for example, 'What a douche-bag! This guy sounds like the type of pompous, pretentious jackass that I take great pleasure in giving reality checks to...)

... and many more... if you expand the search to "douche bag" or "douche-bag"

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6 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, March 5, 2008 11:13 PM

This was a great post.

Lat, please do a follow up speculating on what we can conclude form the fact that douchebag has been twice cited in F. Supp., but not in later volumes, or the F. volumes. That district courts are infinitely more hip? That the word fell out of favor but is once again in? (I do seem to recall it being a highschool term, which I didn't again hear until law school . . . but law school was generally a regression to high school, so prolly an irrelevant aside.)

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7 Posted by Anonynous | Permalink Wednesday, March 5, 2008 11:19 PM

Hello? Did you not read me at 11:10? The term "douche bag" is in 174 F.3d 95; and 119 F.3d 563.

- 11:10

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8 Posted by anon | Permalink Wednesday, March 5, 2008 11:21 PM

wtf man?

i don't want to read about that shit after a hard day's work

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9 Posted by solid | Permalink Wednesday, March 5, 2008 11:41 PM

Nice post lat - this made me laugh - not get angry and critical about firm x or law school y.

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10 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, March 5, 2008 11:42 PM

Click on the graphic.

Thoughtful touch, Lat. Thanks.

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11 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, March 6, 2008 12:16 AM

Oh right, it's always best to hyphenate words like website or douchebag when searching on Westlaw

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12 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, March 6, 2008 12:29 AM

Just "douche" shows up 260 times if you expand the search to state cases....

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13 Posted by anonymous | Permalink Thursday, March 6, 2008 7:59 AM

A Tucker Max reference?!? Awesome. A true role model for junior lawyers everywhere.

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14 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, March 6, 2008 8:38 AM

Avery is a girl

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15 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, March 6, 2008 8:42 AM

And Abate is an adult

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16 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, March 6, 2008 8:50 AM

"douche bag" definition: an NYU grad

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17 Posted by Anonymous | Permalink Thursday, March 6, 2008 9:44 AM

According to the court calendar, the panel was all-female: Sotomayor, Livingston, C.JJ, Preska, D.J.

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18 Posted by a douchebag | Permalink Thursday, March 6, 2008 9:51 AM

Lat -
I expect better from you:
The question is whether F.3d is "douchebag"-free, NOT whether it is douchebag-free. The first version asks whether the term appears in F.3d; the second asks if there are actual douchebags somehow squeezed into the pages of F.3d.

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19 Posted by assclown | Permalink Thursday, March 6, 2008 9:57 AM

Lat: is your second update telling us that you suffer from um . . . premature certification? If so, I am very sorry to hear that.

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20 Posted by managing editor of Archaic and Unsolicited Parenting Advice Weekly | Permalink Thursday, March 6, 2008 11:41 AM

Avery is a boy's name; not a girl's name. What's up with these damn names these days? McKenzie? That's a Scottish last name! Dakota? That's a state! Stick to the Bible, Greek mythology or Germanic names, and also pay attention to the gender.

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21 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, March 6, 2008 11:50 AM

Funny post. But:

"They're in the vicinity, but haven't hit the definitional g-spot."

I wouldn't take advice from Lat about finding the G-spot.

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22 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, March 6, 2008 3:18 PM

What happened to free speech? Starting to look like we live in the "land of the [free]censored , home of the [brave]offended "!

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23 Posted by njlaw | Permalink Friday, March 7, 2008 9:17 PM

I would like to note that of the 13 hits returned under the allfeds search for douchebag, douche bag, or douche-bag, two of the cases originated in Atlantic City. One against the police department ("women were commonly referred to as 'cunts,' 'douche bags,' 'broads,' 'bitches,' and, as a group, 'the crack troop.'") and the other against the Convention Center Authority ("[r]epeated use of the words 'cunt' and 'douche-bag-cunt' to describe and refer to the female electricians"). While the second case was not reported in F.Supp, the term "douche bag cunt" does appear once in F.3d.

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