S**t or Get Off the Pot? She Would Prefer Not To
The legal connection to this story is tenuous, but not non-existent. Criminal charges could be filed. And maybe there’s a products liability case against the toilet manufacturer.
Anyway, it’s such a great story — and no, it’s not from The Onion — that we’re going to link to it. From the AP:
A 35-year-old woman who apparently spent two years in her boyfriend’s bathroom in Ness City had become stuck to the toilet seat, authorities said Wednesday.
“She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body. It is hard to imagine. … I still have a hard time imagining it myself,” Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said in a telephone interview, adding that it appeared her body fat had grown attached to the seat.
Authorities planned to present their report to the county attorney later Wednesday to see if any charges should be filed against her 36-year-old boyfriend, Whipple said.
The boyfriend called police on Feb. 27 to report that “there was something wrong with his girlfriend,” Whipple said, adding he never explained why it took him two years to call.
Is this woman a lawyer by any chance? Stick a Concordance-equipped computer in front of her, and let the doc review begin. She’ll bill 3000 hours without breaking a sweat.
So, who has the movie rights? If they can make a feature film about a guy who took up residence at JFK Airport, surely they can do something with this amazing tale. Casting suggestions?
Sheriff: Woman sat on boyfriend’s toilet for 2 years [Associated Press]
(52) Comments
Comments
first...and gross
number two
This would have been so much better for "Sloth" than the guy bound to the bed in Seven.
"We pried the toilet seat off with a prybar" GROSS! There needs to be a disclaimer at the beginning.
Glen Quagmire should play the toilet. Giggity-giggity!
Wow... I totally would have broken up with her before then.
And what happens when he needs to go?
You have to be shitting me!
3:50 - The AP story mentions that the house had a second bathroom.
I would like to see Gwyneth Paltrow stuck to a toilet seat... yummy
There are already several porn flicks with similar plots available for free online-- OLD NEWS!
Jennifer Aniston - lovable, but loony.
3:51 You have a serious mental illness.
3:46, they pried the seat off the toilet with a crowbar.
Reading comprehension much?
I heard she's actually Loyola 2L and this was a protest against TTT law schools. "TTT"...get it? Hilarious.
"Is this woman a lawyer by any chance? If so, stick a Concordance-equipped computer in front of her, and let the doc review begin"
Nice
New low for ATL...
the AP story account of her time in the bathroom reminds me of Bartelby the Scrivener
Note the Bartleby shout-out in the headline: "She Would Prefer Not To."
"I would like to see Gwyneth Paltrow stuck to a toilet seat... yummy"
For $5500 per hour, a look-alike can be arranged. Call the Emperor's Club for details.
"She'll bill 3000 hours without breaking a sweat."
No -- a chick that fat can't wiggle a toe without sweating like a pig.
The Tale of Two (Year) Shitties
Does Judge Halverson have any acting experience?
@3:55 It's a direct quote, which is why there are quotation marks - read the article.
Its been done. Nip/Tuck actually had this exact scenario, only instead of a toilet, it was a couch. The skin actually fused with the couch. I thought it was non-sense, but apperently I was wrong. One of the doctors threatened the boyfriend of the fat lady with some kind of lawsuit or something...
It should be "alternative image," not "alternate image."
3:46 and 4:19...Try the whole quote, you might understand it better...
"'We pried the toilet seat off with a prybar and the seat went with her to the hospital,' Whipple said. 'The hospital removed it.'"
To paraphrase your own words--read the article BETTER.
Nip/Tuck was copying a real couch-stuck story, where the couch had fused with flesh.
Author of "River Runs Through it" had a minor character that never changed pants and underwear had grown into skin and hair.
cast spitzer to play the toilet bowl. i hear he needs work and is experienced in ATM.
4:26 - Both "alternate" and "alternative" are acceptable in modern, standard American usage.
You are either (1) old school or (2) British.
4:27 -
What is there to better understand? The fact that a prybar was required in order to remove the toilet seat is gross. The quoted portion sufficiently supports the grossness. The rest of the sentence does not add to the grossness.
The terminology issue notwithstanding, the "alternate graphic" is totally uncalled for, Lat.
Thanks 4:28. You/(I) learn something new every day. But if that is the case, then what is the big deal about the toilet lady?
Does anyone else find it hard to believe the Sheriff's name is Mr. Whipple?
I call bullsh*t. There's no way. My legs fall asleep when I'm on the pot for, I don't know, 15 minutes. Two years? Uninterrupted?
Yeah right. Next you'll be telling me that Hillary Clinton's got momentum.
What a shit nation. Worthless credit, sinking currency, largest prison population, fat, ugly, STD-ridden girls....we truly are the TTT of the world
I thought the "alternate graphic" was a nice touch. The arrangement of the two turds gives the picture sort of an appealing symmetrical appearance.
Shit humor? For real?
3:46, please explain how using a tool to remove the seat from a piece of porcelin is gross. I understand that using a prybar to remove the seat from her ass would be gross, but that isn't what happened here.
I mean, seriously, was she crapping out fully formed shelving units or what?
Maybe Gyneth Paltrow in Shallow Hal
The alternative graphic was disappointing. I wanted to see how the fat grew around the seat.
Hillary Clinton has momentum!
was the girlfriend from Arkansas?
No, the girlfriend was at UPenn in Happy Valley.
This gives me an idea... OneGirlfriendOneBowl, The Movie
Umm, I think Obama's won the last two primaries/caucuses and even though Hillary won the Texas primary, Obama still won more delegates. Yeah, she's charging hard!
Lady stuck to the couch:
http://www.wftv.com/news/3643877/detail.html
Can you get stuck to a scooter?
I hope I'm not the only person who's noticed that the sheriff in the toilet seat story is named Mr. Whipple.
Was she fat or skinny?
possible book titles:
Why Be Normal?
The Idiot's Guide to Suppositories
Of Bowls and Skin
Pride & Predjudice (that's the story of all of us you have chuckled ove this way too much)
Little Seat on the Tushy
DIY - How to Pry a Pot off a Butt
Legends of the Bowl
the Lifetime movie title:
She Sat Too Long....the story of Pam..
This is unheard of...what kills me is the people who are saying it is because they are mentally ill.. there are all kinds of mentally handicapped people, mentally ill people- shoot who is normal? But this is a first- sitting on a pot until it grows to you. It takes the cake. And what a prince that boyfriend was- why didn't he just yell FIRE! Then take her to the doctor- 23 months and 29 days earlier....
did she eat a potato chip and fall over or something? talk to me at http://www.freewebs.com/zanecompany/ or sometin