Alberto Gonzales Continues to Wander in Unemployment Wilderness
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again. The economy must be bad if a former U.S. Attorney General can’t get a job.
And your life must be pretty bad if you’re a former U.S. Attorney General who can’t find a job, and some columnist in Austin is making lots of fun of you. John Kelso of the Austin American-Statesman wrote a column yesterday titled Maybe former A.G. Gonzales could get a job being paid by the hour to keep his mouth shut. AG AG’s frequent “I don’t recall” answers during Senate testimony provide inspiration for many of Kelso’s jokes:
What holiday do you think of when you think of Alberto R. Gonzales? With me, it’s always Mother’s Day. Why? Simple. Because with Gonzales, mum’s the word.I feel sorry for anybody out there who can’t find a job, even a guy like Gonzales who is still making a bunch of money from speaking engagements. As bad as Gonzales’ memory is, he must use notes.
Maybe the problem is that when the job interviewers ask him what his last job was, he’s telling them that he doesn’t remember. Can’t say as I blame him. If I were him, I’d tell them I used to work at Denny’s.
It’s pretty traditional for law firms to bring former partners back after they’ve served in government — e.g., Mary Jo White and Debevoise, Michael Mukasey and Patterson Belknap — but AG AG’s former firm is apparently not biting, despite his having served as America’s top lawyer. A tipster tells us:
Several months ago, I heard that even V&E [Vinson & Elkins] was not interested in having Gonzales back – looks like there are no takers. How long do you think he’ll be able to support himself on speakers’ gigs?
Locke Liddell took Harriet Miers back. Apparently, endorsing torture and getting caught in the U.S. Attorney firing scandal is worse than losing the Supreme Court popularity contest and having many bad hair days.
In Searching for New Job, Gonzales Sees No Takers [New York Times]
Maybe former A.G. Gonzales could get a job being paid by the hour to keep his mouth shut [The Austin American-Statesman]
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I am telling you. He needs to grow back that killer 'stache. As much as I think the guy is repulsive and awful, I'd still take him with that 'stache.
He can always temp. Imagine the comedy of that...walking into your next temp job to review documents and you see former AG Gonsalez sitting there reviewing documents.
Econ 101 people. He is obviously pricing himself too high. Even in a relatively tough market, a former AG and partner at V&E would be able to find a job at a certain price.
Gonzales is barking up the wrong tree by feeling out law firms. He should instead apply for an academic post at Berkeley, the employer of John Yoo, fellow fugitive war criminal.
Good job, Kash. I love the part about LL taking HM back.
Kelso rocks, he is hysterical.
THANKS BUSH!
kisses to all the haters,
Fredo
1:11, Maybe his "price" should be "free?"
No one wants a partner with a perjury problem. Explain THAT to your clients.
He's going to end up at a think tank, like American Enterprise, which doesn't have clients to impress. No law firm is going to touch him b/c he's too controversial. Some clients would probably leave any firm that hired him if only b/c of politics. heck -- clients leave firms if they don't have enough diversity, much less someone as controversial like AG!
My prediction -- he goes to Heritage Foundation or the Cato Institute. AEI already has Newt Gingrich. The problem is, these think tanks probably pay crap and are only a platform for members to speak and write books, so AG will actually have to PRODUCE rather than enjoy a cushy job while lending his name (eg, like Giuliani at Bracwell & Giuliani).
AG is probably pissed that he took the AG job at all -- looks like Bush externalized the costs of his policies on AG. If Bush has any class, he'll hire AG as director of his Pres Library or some crap for $300k/year.
He should talk to the governments of China, North Korea, Syria, Iran, etc. They love to torture people and ignore constitutions, and the rule of law...and common sense.
Baker Botts should hire him -- they're closer to the Bush's than V&E!
Kashmir, they have a site for people with your beliefs, it is called the dailykos. The Austin column by John Kelso that you link to is really pretty stupid and a lame attempt at humor. Kelso's analogy with Bork being slightly to right of Toby Keith makes no sense. Keith, is a registered Democrat who happened to support Bush in 2004, even though he was personally against the war. So he is not this right-wing idealogue that Mr. Kelso seems to imply he is.
This whole thing is a mere chimera. AG will be hired soon.
I thought he was called up by the Yankees
@2:06 -- Just a one-day thing, for his birthday.
Is it because of all the pending investigations?
I think it's highly likely that he'll be disbarred for lying to the Congress.
Keep your chin up, AGAG. I hear that if you rearrange the letters in "unemployed," it spells "opportunity."
Unemployed is nice, but I hope we get to see a perp walk sometime soon.
AG should teach at UVA! We would love to have him at our institution.
"How long do you think he’ll be able to support himself on speakers’ gigs?"
If the Clinton tax returns are any indication, for a long time and for more than partner or senior counsel compensation.
speaking gigs are nice work if you can get it.
3:56 obviously hasn't heard much about what AGAG is getting paid to speak and how few such opportunities he is receiving.
The more humiliation for him the better. I hope being W's water boy was worth it for him because he has completely trashed his reputation and his career. He's nuklear, baby!
"3:56 obviously hasn't heard much about what AGAG is getting paid to speak and how few such opportunities he is receiving."
OK, I'll bite. How much and how few?
"Former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales delivered his $40,000 speech at the University of Florida last night. "
Even 10 such engagements a year would provide a nice supplement to his judicial retirement package.
Gonzalez for Dean of Miami Law.
Why on earth did somebody suggest the Cato Institute would hire Gonzales? Cato is libertarian and Gonzales is a former official in one of the most pro-big government administrations in history (plus, he likes to torture people, something I doubt Cato would approve of).
4:42, who do you think is paying AGAG a judicial retirement package? due was on the tx supreme court for barely two years. and the miami gig was his highest paying and one of the only ones he has received so far as a number of institutions have decided not to have him in for a variety of reasons. in short, he wont make $400K in speeches this year (a price clinton has pulled in for a single speech) and he probably isn't receiving any "judicial retirement package"
How did he make it to the Texas Supreme Court?
How did that asshole John Woo ever get a job? Torture boy should be radioactive.
Its amazing how quick people are to kick a man when he's down. When Gonzo becomes General Counsel at Halliburton he will remember the law firms that spread this info around.
UVA is currently in talks to have Gonzales come on board as a professor...