Umm, do I still get paid?

One word: MATLOCK

It is absurd that Tom Hagan is not on that list. Why would you ever want any other attorney?

What happened to Matlock?

Jackie Chiles must be on the list.

Who told you to put the balm on?!

How is Matlock not on the list?

Maury Levy.

Denny Crane over Alan Shore?

johnny utah!

Gambini is by far #1.

Willy Beachum from "Fracture."

Harvey Birdman

Quincy!

Where is Gordon Bombay!?!
The man won every case he appeared on until he went Pro-Se for his DUI..

My Top 5 (with some help from above posters)

5. Jackie Chiles
4. Matlock
3. Giant Blue Chicken from Futurrama
2. Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
1. Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Lawwwww!
--subnote, favorite on-screen judge: Mentok the Mindtaker

Lt. Daniel Kaffee / Tom Cruise, A Few Good Men

You CAN hire this guy. His nonstop annoying fucking commercials throughout the Southeastern Virginia, Central and Eastern North Carolina area tell me so.

"Put a few good men to work for you"

I think its Marcari, Russoto and Spencer or something like that.

No one from Michael Clayton? Where's the NY BigLaw love?

Mitch McDeere (Tom Cruise/The Firm)!

Wayne Jarvis. He's a professional. He's serious and he's a professional.

Mitch McDeere (Tom Cruise/The Firm)!

No, money down!

10:54 -

"Your face is my case"

I love Lionel Hutz but I wouldn't hire him if he were the only lawyer in town.

jackie chiles and a janitor

"Oops, I shouldn't have the Bar Association logo here either..."

Works on contigency? No, Money down. And that bar association logo shouldn't be there either

You left out the best one- Eddie Dodd played by James Woods in true Believer To DA Raynard played by the guy from The 70's Show Eddie Dodd, last time I saw you you were representing coke dealers for free. Eddie Dodd- " Coke deals pay cash-they subsidize the pot cases, theyre free"

Judge: Mr. Hutz, are you aware you're not wearing any pants?
Lionel Hutz: Uh, your Honor, can I call for one of those bad trial thingys?
Judge: You mean a mistrial?
Lionel Hutz: Yeah ... that's why you're the judge, and I am the law ... talkin' ... guy.

Well I didnt win your case so the pizza is free.

I thought the gray-haired guy on the Salomon & Morelli commercials was a lawyer, until I saw him on another show. I'd still hire, him though. Looks very sharp.

Those are KINDS of evidence.

Attn: GULC Gewirz Residents '06-07

A certain Resident Fellow prepared you well for this thread... ;)

I would add Portia from The Merchant of Venice, Will Truman from Will & Grace, and Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law.

lol @ unfrozen caveman lawyer..

"I'm just a caveman. Your world frightens me. But I know that when a guy slips and falls outside a public library he is entitled to no less than 2 million in punitive damages!"

Definitely Mr. Darcy from Bridget Jones' Diary. That fiction of a human rights attorney at a big, powerful law firm, all wrapped up in the package of Mr. Darcy. HOT!

I would take Michael Moriarty as Ben Stone over Sam Waterson any day.

Sam Seaborn...West Wing.

Wilford Brimley? "The Firm"? Hellooooooooooooo?!

Heloooo...who wouldn't hire Tom Cruise from The Firm???

JUDGE: Do you have any evidence at all?
Lionel Hutz: Well, Your Honor, we've plenty of hearsay and conjecture. Those are kinds of evidence. ...

I second Tom Hagan.

I also vote for Benicio del Toro as Oscar Zeta Acosta (a.k.a. Dr. Gonzo) in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Well he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog... Well, replace the word "kinda" with the word "repeatedly," and the word "dog" with "son.".

Sam Bowden (Nick Nolte) / Cape Fear

Has anyone noticed that the new format sucks?

Alexandra Cabot from Law and Order: SVU, and Apollo from The Eumenides

Lionel Hutz
Jake Brigance
Al Pacino
Denny Crane
Jim Carrey

Great point, 11:31.

I don't like how people are getting off topic. That's exactly what Lat wants. He thinks people will just get over it. Well, I say, no, I will not get over it...at least not until there is a poll so that the massive dislike for the new format can be documented.

Seriously. Matlock being missing from this list makes this list a complete farce.

Missing:

Clooney from Michael Clayton
Sweaty chick from Michael Clayton
Shiva, the God of Death from Michael Clayton

Bob Lawblaw from Arrested Development

Agree w/ 10:51. The omission of Tom Hagan is unforgiveable. What more could you want from a lawyer, including being "pre-Days of Thunder/Gone in 60 Seconds" Robert Duvall?

Wilford Brimley was not a lawyer in "The Firm." He was "Firm Security." I think that position has since been folded into IT.

Frito Pendejo -- Idiocracy

Christine Sullivan (Markie Post) from Night Court!

gambini to ... 1!

Ferris Bueller!!! Not a lawyer, but I love that movie!

YES!

Thank Dawg for Bob Loblaw! I couldn't believe it took until 11:37. Sheesh.

Say...

Whatever happened to Bob Loblaw's Law Blog?

TOM HAGAN.

Jesus, what a stupid omission.

11:37,

Bob Loblaw *and* Barry Zuckerkorn (Henry Winkler).

The missing attorneys are startling. Echo prior commenters that Ben Matlock MUST be on that list. In fact, Lionel Hutz prepared for a trial by watching Matlock on a tv in a bar with the sound off.

To correct an above poster, the blue space chicken in Futurama is credited as the Hyperchicken Lawyer. His best move was playing a video of his clients robbing a bank at their bank robbery trial, whereupon he moves that he be disbarred for admitting such damaging evidence against his own clients.

Simpsons Blue Haired Lawyer is another great one not yet mentioned. Ditto prior commenters on Dr. Gonzo, Tom Hagan, and Bob Lawblaw. Lat, the list you provided is way too short.

@11:38(3), don't you prefer Reinhold Dan Fielding from Night Court?

MRS. HUXTABLE, Ed, Eli Stone, Amy from Judging Amy, Luke Wilson from Legally Blonde

What about DA Hamilton Burger? Perry Mason's main adversary? He was like the Washington Generals of TV lawyers.

The Arrested Development references are great (Wayne Jarvis, Bob Loblaw), but how can you forget the original Bluth family lawyer. Barry Zuckercorn - he's very good. This is a lawyer!

Lat, please ban 11:48's IP address for mentioning Eli Stone. It's really simple, I could write you a few snippets of code...

11:37 needs to get over his Clayton addiction, but he is right in one regard:

Where is Bob Lawblaw? Have you all already forgotten the best show of this decade?

Oh yea. the man in the $5000 suit is gonna keep reading this blog when such obvious omissions are made. COME ON

Add one more to the list:

Sean Penn in 'Carlito's Way.'

SANDY COHEN AND HIS EYEBROW ASSOCIATES

Wayne Jarvis
Barry Zuckerkorn
Lionel Hutz
Harvey Birdman
Giant Blue Chicken (Wall, I'm jest a country lawya...BWABAK!)

Yep. Bob Loblaw is a no-brainer.
But also Gambini and Kaffey.

I have a man-crush on:

1. Clarence Darrow (he should have been the Inherit the Wind nominee)
2. Eli Stone (I've loved him since Trainspotting, but had to settle for my wife. I wish my law firm life was as glamorous)

Suel Forrester

http://www.hulu.com/watch/4167/saturday-night-live-suel-forrester-southern-lawyer

Going back to Otto Preminger's "Anatomy of a Murder," I nominate Jimmy Stewart as Paul Biegler (plus a ridiculously star-studded cast including George C. Scott, Ben Gazarra and Lee Remick. Gets the client off on a temporary insanity defense. Outstanding work by Stewart in a morally ambiguous role.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anatomy_of_a_Murder

MATLOCK!
(I can't believe Ally McBeal is on that list! What a shame!)

Raul Julia in Presumed Innocent

Third vote for Tom Hagan...quick on his feet at the trial and at those Senate hearings.

11:38 and Frito Pendejo FTMFW.

Rudy Baylor (Matt Damon) in The Rainmaker. He kicked Jon Voight's ass. Not even Ice Cube could do that in Anaconda.

Glad to see that at least the commenters here recognize true legal expertise: none of these jokers can compete with Barry Zuckerkorn and Bob Loblaw.

11:58

You better be over 60.

I vote for the snake from Anaconda

Let's see, do I want a lawyer that can win me a multi-million dollar lawsuit, or a lawyer that can pull off a triple deke, glove side? I'll take Bombay everytime.

Cake eaters.

How on earth is Al Pacino from And Justice for All not on here?

You're all out of order!

Calvin's dad in Calvin & Hobbes - he was a patent attorney. Probably not so good in the courtroom, though.

12:11 you're overruled - thats a comic, not on screen. please read post title. derf!

1) Cirroc, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
2) Cirroc, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
3) Cirroc, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
4) Cirroc, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
5) Cirroc, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/91/91gcaveman.phtml

Maaaaatlock!

/kvetchy old man voice

george clooney playing michael clayton hands down! who can resist the clooney...

also kash you realize two of the people you added aren't (fictional) lawyers. you'd hire a paralegal or a law student? really? the ent weekly list was limited to actual attorneys.

oh yeah and can someone explain to me what job exactly colin firth was supposed to have in bridget jones diary? is that a real job?! how can i get it?? i'm willing to move to england and do a conversion course...

and this new format will NEVER CEASE TO SUCK. can we get some acknowledgment of how universally hated it is / some explanation at least about what prompted this change?!

Peter Boyle as Carl Lazlo, Esq. Much better than the Bencio del Boro brand.

Commander Harmon Rabb (David James Elliott) from JAG. Hottie who also was a fighter pilot.

If Lionel Hutz made the list, then why not Ted Buckland from Scrubs?

If you actually want to win, how about Neena Broderick, also from Scrubs.

Duvall as Jerome Facher in A Civil Action (With Lithgow from the same being my favorite judge -- nothing like telling an attorney (Cheeseman) how to pronounce his own name )

Also, I'd rather have Capt. Jack Ross/Kevin Bacon representing me over Caffey -- Caffey got lucky, Ross was the kind of prick you want as your lawyer

I'm with 10:59. Alan Shore (James Spader).

Alan Shore/James Spader is clearly the more entertaining lawyer on Boston Legal. Not to take anything away from William Shatner but Shore is the centerpiece of that show.

Newman in The Verdict is tops, but you just can't beat Hollywood's coked-up criminal lawyers

Sean Penn in Carlito's Way
James Woods in True Believer
Pacino in And Justice For All

russell crow, american gangster

Phillip Banks (James Avery)

Demi Moore, a few good men

Alan Dershman, who can hold three billiard balls in his mouth.

If we're talking about favorite judges, I'd have to go with either Fred Gwynne as Judge Haller from My Cousin Vinny or Henry Gibson as Judge Brown from Boston Legal.

12:16, I'll always have a warm spot in my heart for Where the Buffalo Roam, but when it comes to choosing my attorney, I want the truly menacing knife wielding lunatic. Peter Boyle was wacky. Benicio was deranged.

John Quincy Adams -- Anthony Hopkins in "Amistad"

John Quincy Adams (Anthony Hopkins in "Amistad")

Davy Klienfelt - Sean Penn in Carlito's Way

"You ain't a lawyer no more, you a ganster"

agree with 1051 - Tom Hagan (Robert Duval)

On a serious note, has anyone seen "Judgment at Nuremberg?"

Maximilain Schnell, who plays the German attorney reperenting the defendants, won the Academy Award for Best Actor in that one. The film won a ton of other Oscars as well.

There's even a young Bill Shatner playing military aid to the Chief Judge (played by Spencer Tracy).

Other than that: Giant Blue Chicken/Hyperchicken to 190!!!

-11:06

Lionel Hutz is no more. Say 'hello' to Miguel Sanchez

And...
12:32, if we're going to spout judges, I'll re-up my nod to Mentok the Mindtaker.

Though, that four-faced robot judge from the 80s Animated Transformer movie was also pretty bitchin' .

-11:06

"As your attorney, I advise you to rent a very fast car with no top."

Dr. Gonzo, "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas"

Hutz: Now, Mrs. Simpson, tell the court in your own words what happened after you and your husband were ejected out of the restaurant.

Marge: Well, we pretty much went straight home.

Hutz: Mrs. Simpson, you're under oath.

Marge: We drove around until three in the morning looking for another open all-you-can-eat seafood restaurant.

Hutz: And when you couldn't find one?

Marge: [crying]: We... went... fishing!

Hutz: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do these sound like the actions of a man whose had ALL he could eat?

[the jury is made up of obese people]

Jury: No, no.
Jury Man: No, that couldn't 've been me.

No love for Ben Stone? At least he had principles. McCoy would do anything to win a case.

What about Bobby Donnell from The Practice? He could look at you with those smoldering eyes right before he Plan-B'd some poor crime victim.

No love for Bobby Donnell or anyone else from "The Practice"?

What about Ari Gold from Entourage?! I know he doesn't practice but he does have a J.D.

Kobayashi from the Usual Suspects!

How could you forget him?

Matlock!!! This list is ridiculous.

Jackie Chiles from Seinfeld!

Dr. Hibbert : Welcome to the new Springfield Center for Geriatric Medicine. You know, health care for the aging is an important priority in..."

Grampa: "Get to Matlock! Maaaaaaaaaaaaaatlooooooock!"

I don't know who Tom Hagan is, but I do know Robert Duvall played TOM HAGEN in the Godfather.

The legal profession doesn't seem to be filled with people who pay any attention.

2. Bob Loblaw
1. Lionel Hutz, Esq., of I Can't Believe It's a Law Firm.

Where's Jackie Chiles of Seinfeld?

Eric "Otter" Stratton

Eric "Otter" Stratton

Even though he was also a real lawyer:

Johnnie Cochran from South Park for the Chewbacca Defense.

HARVEY BIRDMAN HANDS DOWN!

SEBBEN & SEBBEN is #1 with an all-star roster of Phil Ken Sebben, Peter Potamus, and the best flying paralegal, Avenger!

Why would an eight foot tall wookie want to live on a planet full of 3 foot tall ewoks?

Alberto Gonzales? I saw him on TV a little while back. Terrific actor.

Frank Costanza's attorney
He is an attorney by day and a superhero by night

1. Alan Shore / James Spader
2. Jackie Chiles / Phil Morris
3. Michael Clayton / George Clooney
4. Denny Crane / William Shatner
5. Tom Hagen / Tom Hagen

Sean Penn as David Kleinfelf, Al Pacino's lawyer in Carlito's Way

Ted, Sacred Heart Hospital's Attorney in "Scrubs." Also, Marshall from "How I Met Your Mother" - the only show on TV to have a shout out to the biglaw wooing process.

Were those guys in Wedding Crashers lawyers (Vince & Owen)? They seemed pretty fun to have around the office

Barry Zuckercorn, Arrested Development
"im not super prepared"

Barry Zuckercorn, Arrested Development
"im not super prepared"

Barry Zuckercorn, Arrested Development
"im not super prepared"

Hello, people?!

um, CLAIRE HUXTABLE, hello??!

Judd Nelson in "FROM THE HIP" What a movie. Go rent it (it is probably on Beta).
Matt Mcconaughey in A Time to Kill (despite as a lawyer he still took his shirt off).
Clooney in Intolerable Cruelty:
Rex Rexroth: Have you sat before her before?
Miles Massey: No. No, the judge sits first. Then we sit.
Rex Rexroth: Well, have you sat after her before?
Wrigley: Sat after her before? You mean, have we argued before her before?
Miles Massey: The judge sits in judgment. The counsel argues before the judge.
Rex Rexroth: So, have you argued before her before?
Wrigley: Before her before, or before she sat before?
Rex Rexroth: Before her before. I said, before her before.
Wrigley: No, you said before she sat before.
Rex Rexroth: I did at first, but...
Miles Massey: Look, don't argue.
Rex Rexroth: I'm not. I'm...
Wrigley: No, you don't argue. We argue.
Miles Massey: Counsel argues.
Wrigley: You appear.
Miles Massey: The judge sits.
Wrigley: Then you sit.
Miles Massey: Or you stand in contempt.
Wrigley: And then we argue.
Miles Massey: The counsel argues.
Rex Rexroth: Which you've done before.
Miles Massey: Which we've done before.
Rex Rexroth: Ah.
Wrigley: But not before her.

Oh and Michael Clayton wasn't really a lawyer movie.

Judd Nelson in "FROM THE HIP" What a movie. Go rent it (it is probably on Beta).
Matt Mcconaughey in A Time to Kill (despite as a lawyer he still took his shirt off).
Clooney in Intolerable Cruelty:
Oh and Michael Clayton wasn't really a lawyer movie.

Luke Wilson's character in Old School.

Mitch Martin aka the Godfather.

Just mentionining some of my favorites who have gotten no love here:

-- Sonny Koufax/Adam Sandler in Big Daddy (the lawyer we all aspire to be)
-- Bennett Holiday/Jeffrey Wright in Syriana (the lawyer we all work for)
-- Mel Horowitz in Clueless ("My daddy is a litigator. That's the scariest kind of lawyer.")
-- Phillip Stuckey/Jason Alexander in Pretty Woman (let's face it . . .the lawyer most of us are)

Funny how corporate defense lawyers don't seem to make the list in great numbers. Who would have thought?

Sifuentes, Grace Van Owen, and Michael Kuzak (i.e., the The LA Law crew) were far superior to the others on the list. Nice, succinct, pointed closing arguments and cross examinations without the melodrama.

McCoy -- some shining moments over the years, but he is a prosecutorial misconduct recidivist. Brady violations, in particular, abound.

Kaffee -- overrated. He would have had reasonable doubt even without Jessup's on-the-stand admission. Most attorneys would simply have saved the punchline for closing argument, after he got Jessup to admit that marines never disobey orders and Santiago would not have been in danger. Plus his clients were convicted of an offense that does not exist: conduct unbecoming a marine!

Ally McBeal pales in comparison to the Biscuit and Nelle.

Tom Hagen?? He wasn't a war-time consigliere, so how can he make any top 15 list? He can't rein in Sonny, he fails to make the peace with the Turk, Michael fires him, and he can't even negoitate a favorable deal with Woltz. Plus he puts Michael in the situation of facing perjury charges. On the other hand, he did convince Pantangeli not to testify against Michael.

I would echo the comment about Maximillian Schell (Judgment at Nuremberg) as deserving a top 15 spot.

Tom Hanks in Joe Versus the Volcano.

James Stamphill (Christian Slater), Murder in the First
and opposing counsel:
William H. Macy (D.A. William McNeil), same

Rosalind Shays (1990-1992, LA Law): Best tv lawyer ever until they jumped the shark by throwing her down elevator shaft.

Johnnie Cochrane in the Ito Follies

Joe Pesci / Vincent ‘Vinny’ LaGuardia Gambini / My Cousin Vinny

Jackie Chiles is Brilliant

Also, for hard-core (somewhat) old SNL fans, you must include Nathan Thurm (Martin Short), a greasy, beady-eyed slick haired, chain smoking sleaze.
here he is interviewed by Robert Kenedy Jr. on global warming for his client Big Oil, inc.: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOLBQxk72NY

RFK Jr.: Did you know that your oil industry clients receive $65 billion a year in taxpayer funded subsidies from our federal government?
NT: Of course I know that. But we give a lot of that money back to Congressmen and to the White House

RFK Jr.:A Top Scientist Dr. David Kang has recently said that global warming poses a greater threat to national security and to international stability than terrorism.
NT: Well he would say that, he’s a scientist.

On the Arrested Development theme... Judge Reinhold!!!

1. Cirroc, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
2. Johnny Cochran - South Park Chewbacca Defense
3. Tom Hagen
4. Jack McCoy
5. Alan Shore
6. Harvey Birdman

1. Tom Hagen/Godfather Trilogy
2. Barry Zuckercorn/Arrested Development
3. Judge Reinhold/Arrested Development
4. Any of the lawyers from Wolfram & Hart-a literally evil law firm/Angel
5. Dr. Gonzo/Fear and Loathing in LV

Plus, if possible, Ed from the show "Ed" should receive negative votes
And Judge Dredd should receive props from ATL for the immortal line, "I'm not above the law! I am the law!"

For all you LA Law folks, David Chase was hired on after submitting the script for From the Hip.

For all you LA Law folks, David Chase was hired on after submitting the script for From the Hip.

joe miller is my favorite followed by Barry Zuckerman and the lawyer in And Justice for All

a bit of a mix

yea matlock :)

Dr. Gonzo: Hello? Hi Lucy, God bless. Yeah it's me. What? I dont know, I taught that bastard a lesson he'll never forget. What? No, not dead. But he won't be bothering anybody for a while. Yeah, I left him out there. I stomped him. I pulled all his teeth out.

Raoul Duke: I remember thinking 'Jesus, what a terrible thing to lay on someone with a head full of acid'.

Dr. Gonzo: But we have a problem. That bastard cashed a bad cheque downstairs and gave you as a reference. They'll be looking for both of you. Yeah I know. You can't judge a book by it's cover... some people are just basically rotten. Well the last thing in the world you want to do is call this hotel again. They'll trace the call and put you straight behind bars. Yeah I'm moving to the tropicana right away... when I get a room I'll let you know which one it is... I gotta get off. They probably have this phone tapped baby... Yeah I know it's horrible but it's all over now. [stomps foot]

Dr. Gonzo: Oh my god... there's someone at the door. There's someone at the door! [yelling]

Dr. Gonzo: Ahh! Ahh! I'm innocent! It was Duke! It was Duke! [inaudible noises]

Dr. Gonzo: Ahh! Ahh! Don't put that thing on me! Aaah! Aaah! Aaah! [hangs up]

Dr. Gonzo: Well, that's the last we should be hearing from Lucy man. She's probably stuffing herself down the incinerator about now. You know what we need? We need some opium.

Jack McCoy is the greatest lawyer in the common law world.

James Spader as Alan Shore in Boston Legal! :)

Jackie Chiles!

how about Dustin Hoffman in Runaway Jury?

Dustin Hoffman as Danny Snyder in Sleepers

Sam Waterston as ADA Jack McCoy on Law & Order. I can watch an 8 hour marathon of that!