Hey, this is a great link for some funny pictures relating to Staff Appreciation day!

http://images.google.com/images?q=staph%20infection%20PICTURES&ie=UTF-8&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&sa=N&tab=wi

enjoy, and forward it to any staff people you know.

My God. The ribbons make this condescending holiday super-condescending!

2:34 - you nailed it! Those were from H&W Staff Appreciation Day. Good sleuthing.

I got my secretary the home version of solitiare.

Do not click on 2:34's link, unless you want to see disgusting photographs of staph infections.

"Winning a box of Polident? Rather than expressing appreciation, this seems mildly awful and embarrassing."

Unless you're a hipster, in which case it's one more ironic thing you can put on your desk or on your bathroom counter.

The idea of forcing employees to wear "THANK YOU TO OUR STAFF" buttons is laughably bad. It sounds like something from "The Office."

Click on 2:34's link if you want to see disgusting photographs of staph infections.

Kash posted something non-sexual!!! Take that random commenters!

We have supported state terrorism against the Palestinians and black South Africans, and now we are indignant because the stuff we have done overseas is now brought right back to our own front yards. America’s chickens are coming home to roost.

As a paralegal, I'm mildly insulted at being lumped in with "administrative professionals."

Not insulted enough to turn down a $25 Fandango gift certificate and a craptacular lunch, though.

I once gave a homeless guy more groceries than H&W gave their staff. He didn't find it particularly generous either.

Why can't freepers ever get it right when they try to be funny (the 3,225,11th Rev. Wright "joke")? I'm mildly embarassed for them . . .

Well, at least that makes me feel better about my flowers-in-a-box and being forced to make my own wilted, bruised bouquet on a day I would rather have not received anything at all.

In recognition of staff appreciation week, my secretary decided to do as little work as possible in the last 363 days.

BHO is insane. Check out her prior postings and laugh.

At my firm, the sucky secretaries seem to be assigned to the sucky lawyers...

Anywho, mine is great, and I treated her to a yummy lunch today.

Gaifus Baltar wins avatar of the week award.

Mine decided to f up yet another purchase agreement, manually formatting everything instead of using the styles already set up for the doc (the same ones I use for every agreement). I've sent her to training specifically to remedy this, but she insists on doing it her way, tabbing every goddamn line over.

I'm (too?) nice to her, and get nothing but insubordination and "my way" bs in return. Fortunately our word processing group is the shining star of our otherwise lazy and pathetic support services, so I really use her now for nothing more than FedEx envelopes and expense reports.

Oh, and she's getting nothing from me this year for this bizarre recognition week. A fairly generous gift (gc to her favorite department store) at Chirstmas is plenty, in my opinion.

BHO, you're HILLARYous.

Okay, I know that this is supposed to give support staff a little chuckle in honor of staff appreciation week but, to me, the whole thing comes across as awfully condescending:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q1vkjOvD-zs

2:53

Thanks, Jeremiah. In addition to my white-guilt vote, your inspirational sermons have taught me that Obama deserves my state-sponsor-of-terror-guilt vote. Down with the infidels? Yes We Can!

Anyone surprised by this doesn't know much about Hunton. I hear they practically keep their staff chained to their desks there, not even allowing them to leave for lunch.

3:16: Could call recognizing the leap year. ;-)

And by "could," I mean "good."

We had a luncheon in our conference room. Set up and cleaned up by our staff. Awesome.

Rice-a-Roni?!?! A box of Rice-a-Roni....why not a bag of Roman Noodles? Or better yet, a canadian penny. Or a cockpunch? Shame.

They should cook the rice and hide it in every partners office, and then set the office on fire and reveal that the partner has been having an affair to partners' wives/husbands.

Staff at our firm were thrilled to receive two movie tickets this year, an improvement of the one ticket they received the year before and proof that the powers that be do listen and care.

Xenu compels you to appreciate the phaetons!

My firm just had a make your own sundae party for all staff, attorneys, everyone. And all paralegals and staff got Visa gift cards. I think $50-$100 each depending on seniority.

I'm a legal assistant, and I read your blog. And some of you guys are real jerks. Though I know there are some real a**hole secretaries out there.

Hopefully I won't be doing this for long; otherwise why would I spend so much on college?

Anyhoo, our firm gave us portable cooler seats and provided breakfast. One of my guys took me out for a slightly uncomfortable lunch, albeit not as uncomfortable as expected.

And for the record, I don't like this holiday either.

I too am an administrative assistant. Most of the posters on this site are spoiled assholes! You make me sick!

Are paralegals adminstrative professionals? Are we supposed to get them something in addition to our secretary?

Two typos: professionals and holiday (although I will give you credit for quoting the later). Neither word makes any sense in this context.

Also, great Happy Gilmore reference Kash, but where are the usual sexual references?

I was a paralegal at a V5 firm. We didn't get anything on admin prof day. Thank god.

I'm a paralegal at Hunton, and just for the record, they're doing more than giving us polident. This was just a kick-off to a game-show themed staff appreciation week, and I suppose they didn't want to just toss the polident they just bought.

H&W has a staff appreciation week. This is just one thing that they did on one day of the staff appreciation week. In addition to breakfasts, lunches, happy hours throughout the week, they are also giving staff gifts such as digital cameras. Whoever says the staff is treated badly at H&W is full of BS. IMHO they are treated better than associates.

I second 6:04.

In addition, attorneys do not "have to" wear the ribbons. They came with a straight pin, and I have no intention of repeatedly stabbing myself. Most people on my floor have taped them to their doors.

3:28, who the fuck cares how your agreements are formatted? You need to find something else to worry about it.

Spoiled? Attorneys are spoiled? Because we PAY you to work for us, and do things that we don't want to do? You get paid. Get over it. Now, scan this document and put it back in the pile.

For admin day, I taught my secretary what initiative was. She was so kind to teach me how to play solitaire 7 hours a day without flinching.

If your attorneys are so spoiled, why don't you get another job? Oh yeah. Forgot. You have no real skills, you are lazy, and you have a bad attitude.

Polident = buttcrack cement. We'll see who has the last laugh.

for staff appreciation, allen & oy-very asked its attorneys to be nice for the day.

just kidding. they'd never do that.

This reminds me of both "The Office" on NBC and the film "Office Space"

"I'm a paralegal at Hunton, and just for the record, they're doing more than giving us polident. This was just a kick-off to a game-show themed staff appreciation week, and I suppose they didn't want to just toss the polident they just bought."

Wow. When you actually try to defend an employer's "gift" of Polident, they've really killed your spirit, haven't they?

7:34 - seriously, fuck off. Stop walking around like we should come crawling to you every time you need a damn document scanned. Just because you attended some lame law school and have that gay ass "title" behind your name - doesn't give you the right to treat us like crap. Maybe thats why some of the secretaries you are all bitching about act that way or play solitare for 7 hours. My attorneys treat me with respect and they get the same in return. They let me leave early should I need it and I stay late if there is a filing deadline. THATS how an attorney/secretary relationship should work. If your secretarys suck ass that bad then submit a request for a new one. Quit your bitching on a damn blog about it.

Oh and lets not talk about skills.....HA! Your 100k in debt to sit in your office and do doc review. *yawn* Oh yeah and have no personal life. Sounds fantabolous!

"3:28, who the fuck cares how your agreements are formatted? You need to find something else to worry about it."

Really? I agree with 3:18, it does matter--it can mess up the table of contents, list of defined terms, cross references, not to mention just being formatted consistently...I know this isn't exactly life and death, but it's "important" for the purposes of what we do, and it's a better use of an "administrative professional's" time than it is of mine. Personally, I'd be pissed to not be able to pass these tasks off.

Plus, we're the attorneys, and if we want it done a certain way (so long as its reasonable, in my opinion), that's the way it should be done.

-not 3:18

12:35:

Yes, you sound very respectful of the attorneys you work for, you know, the ones who went to a "lame law school" and have "that gay ass 'title' behind" their names, and who are "100K in debt to sit in [their] office[s] and do doc review."

BTW, the 80s called, they asked for their use of the term "gay" back. Grow up.

12:50 - Obviously wasn't referring to MY attorneys specifically. Last I checked they weren't reading ATL during the day.

And my apologies for using the term gay. Didn't realize it would hit you hard personally. We'll leave that one alone.

I took my secretary and a few other admins to Chuck E. Cheese for lunch. We ate pizza and played skee ball. Everyone had a great time and game back with matching rubber snakes.

I realize this wouldn't work in most offices.

I should mention that my secretary is a hipster. She and her ironic little friends liked it a lot more than they would have liked flowers or candy or a formal lunch.

Paralegals aren't grouped in with staff at our firm.

So much to respond to...where to start?
I'll just ignore all those who wasted our time with petty insults and profanity.

H&W doesn't just devote a day to staff appreciation -- it's a week-long affair. I have to say that I've enjoyed it thus far. In addition to the Price is Right game and free breakfast that went with it, we're also receiving a small gift (and we get to choose out of three items) and were also granted a couple extra hours of free "Sunshine" time. And the week isn't over yet.

Things can always be better. Who wouldn't want a bigger paycheck, more telecommuting options and in-house daycare? But acknowledgement and appreciation are very important aspects of job satisfaction. I for one generally feel appreciated. I work hard (I don't spend 7 hours a day playing solitare, I have too much to do), do a good job, and I get many a "thank you" for my efforts. Because I feel appreciated, I'm eager to provide our attorneys with the support they need to keep our clients happy.

I myself am not a professional assistant or secretary. I've got more letters behind my name than most of they lawyers here. However, there's nothing insulting about being considered staff and I'm proud to work at H&W. It's nice that H&W expands the holiday beyond just PAs and expresses appreciation for all our hard work. As for staff being "chained to their desks," that's not my experience at all and I don't know of anyone here that has that kind of relationship with their supervising attorneys or managers. If they do, they need to march down to HR or out the door to something better.

...And I appreciated the polident; it has a million and one uses. :)

I am an "administrative profession" at a law firm (although not a secretary), and my husband is an attorney. So I understand both sides of the battle -- "secretaries are lazy" vs. "attorneys are condescending snobs" -- and in general I think we would both consider the latter stereotype more accurate. The majority of "administrative professionals" I know often complain about being bored because their attorneys do not give them enough work or trust them to do anything cognitively stimulating. So, my advice would be to show some respect for your secretary and actually give her some work worth doing. If she still screws it up or spends too many hours a day playing solitaire, then you can keep complaining.

Let’s just state the facts. The only attorneys making comments on this blog are associates. They have NO power in law firms and the partners view them as peeons. This is the only place they can act like big shots!! So, to all of those paralegals and secretaries reading their posted remarks (insults)…just laugh at them the next time you see them walking down the hall with their tails between their legs because a partner has chewed their asses out because they screwed up!!

I think it's a generous idea that H&W does something for their staff. The only function mentioned was the Price is Right (which included a breakfast), in which one of the items was Polident. One, there are so many uses to Polident besides cleaning dentures. (Google it) Secondly, H&W gave their staff a choice of three gifts, one being an iPod, and had an after work cocktail party for them. As for the ribbons? Just something to show appreciation. As for a paralegal being thrown in with the staff, at H&W, anyone who is not an attorney is a staff member. I would be happy to be appreciated as H&W did!