Judge Elizabeth Halverson 2008 Update
Judge Elizabeth Halverson has graced stomped through these pages many times before. But this is her first appearance of 2008. The LA Times recounts some Halverson highlights:
Her former bailiff said he was forced to heat and serve her lunch, check the temperature of her ice water, brush lint from her robe, help her put on her shoes, massage her neck and cover her with a blanket before her nap.An assistant said Halverson, of the 8th Judicial District Court, made her answer questions -- under oath -- about courthouse gossip.
She's been stripped of her criminal cases. She has been suspended with pay. She has a hearing this month that may result in her being removed from the bench. But she's STILL running for reelection. We apologize to Halverson fans out there, but we will not be running a "Re-Elect Halverson" campaign, even if she does provide great blog fodder...
Halverson also referred to her husband as "Evil Ed," her former bailiff testified, and told Jordan to "pull out your gun and shoot him.""I'll dispose of the body," Jordan quoted the judge as saying.
Halverson's newer staffers told commissioners she acted respectfully and professionally. But commissioners said that didn't excuse her treating Jordan and others in a "truly bizarre and inappropriate manner."
Two people are challenging the suspended judge in the August election. Halverson said she entered the race because community members encouraged her to hold onto her judgeship.
"Do I think the public will see the truth about me?" she said. "Yes, I do."
The truth is out there. I mean, seriously, how could she dispose of her husband's body? She is a LARGE woman, with an oxygen tank, who can't even get her own nap-time blanket. She was making a joke. Obviously.
Update: A commenter sent us to this bizarre kid-sploitation reelection video.
Judge Elizabeth Halverson courts trouble in Las Vegas [Los Angeles Times]
(64) Comments
1
"I mean, seriously, how could she dispose of her husband's body?"
"But we're not responsible for, like, keeping the peace and stuff."
So this is now a teenage girl's take on legal news?
She totally could have disposed of his body! She could swallow it whole in under a minute, dollars to donuts.
Swallowing prey is bad idea, see below:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/4313978.stm
Disgusting excuse for a human being, much less a judge.
Fat people disgust me. Please never display a picture of that beast again. I am throwing up in exactly 20 seconds.
You're always going to have difficulty moving a body in one piece. I hear the best thing to do is to cut the body in to six pieces and pile it all together. Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs.
4:09
I agree, fat people discuss me too. They should all be herded up and put in the basements of office buildings.
OMG 3:52, lighten up.
I feel both disgust and sympathy towards this displaced seacow.
What? No link to her reelection commercial. You know, the one where she says that as a judge she "fights" for senior citizens' rights. The rest of the website it a hoot, too.
http://www.halverson4judge.com/commercial-pop.html
Another fine U-M grad!
Wasn't there some guy named Lat who used to work here?
Is she wearing an oxygen tank, or is it proper diets for manatees to have jell-o pudding constantly pumped in through her nose?
She went to USC.
I'd hit it....
Oh, I just threw up in my mouth.
She didn't go to U-M. She would've eaten Coulter.
Please, Kash, that horrible picture... make it stop.
Like, I totally, seriously though Lat had written the post. Something about the phrasing at the end- the refernce to the nap blanket- is totally his style. Well played, Kashmir. Your wrighting is adorable and 3:52 is a f*cknut.
Bring me Solo and the Wookiee. They will all suffer for this outrage.
Is she frowning or is her neckfat just pulling down the sides of mouth?
@4:50: I agree completely. Kash's writing style is not just good, its good in a very Lat-like way.
Thinking about their compatability, a thought just occurred to me - I apologize if others have noted this too:
Kash + Lat = WGWAG
(but not implying "with" in a "biblical" way)
HAHAHAHAHAH for some reason all of the fat comments are making me laugh out loud. Keep them coming.
Umm... shouldn't "stomped through" have the strikethrough and "graced" be the word after?? I think that would be funnier.
Twas a moonless night, dark as pitch, when out of the mist came a beast more stomach than man.
425 lbs. That's exactly 3 times my weight, and I'm a guy of average height. Just ponder that for a second. Or better yet, picture 3 guys strapped together moving as 1 gargantuan.
Why don't airlines charge more for fat people? If my checked bag is overweight I get slapped with a $75 fee!
This is one of the funnier threads in a while - - 4:11, 4:31, 5:09, and 5:55 are choice. Keep 'em coming!
"That judge ate all our shrimp, and three plastic lobsters!"
"'Tis no judge. 'Tis a remorseless eatin' machine!"
I heard Judge Halverson went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.
BEHEMOTH!!
Dear Bailiff, to what temperature do you heat a feedbag? It may come in handy when my mother-in-low comes to visit ...
Oh my God!!! Quick, get it back in the water!!!!
5:55: You are right! I thought there was something odd about it but didn't think about it beyond that.
I think her husband's body was disposed of under fat roll #3, otherwise known as "the Sizzler storage roll"
Judge Halverson to 450!!!
I LOL'd at 6:08
Han, mah bukee, keel-ee caleya ku kah. Wanta dah moole-rah? Wonkee chee sa crispa con Greedo?
Smithers could never foil her attempts to take candy from a baby!
you have no right to cage (and straw) such an exquisite species. she ought to be released in the wild... now!
I started to laugh at 6:08 until i realized that he's climbing he's a normal height adult male, that only weighs 142 pounds. I then asked Halverson's neck fat to donate some of that stored kibble to his pantry.
By the way, she's fat.
I heard they shaved a gorilla.
That thing is not human. We need to do with fat people what Australia proposes to do with cane toads...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/main.jhtml?xml=/earth/2008/04/02/eatoad102.xml
What do you think they call decorative jewelry that hangs from the fat rolls where your ears should be?
But her hair looks nice.
The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, mash the keypad with you palm now.
8:14 - Agreed. The hair is nice.
I don't want to be some kind of weirdo. I'll take the mumu.
She fat!
Do they make judges' robes in her size, or did they have to sew two robes together for her?
I hope the court didn't take away her reaching broom.
Bailiff, fetch mama's pryin' board.
Simpsons + Halverson = best comment thread ever.
7:09, that was some funny shit.
Does this sound like a judge who's had ALL she could eat?
Fat, dumb, and stupid is no way to go through life Judge.
Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life Judge.
The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I got about fifty feet out and suddenly the great beast appeared before me. I tell you he was ten stories high if he was afoot. As if sensing my presence, he let out a great bellow. I said, "Easy, big fella!" And then, as I watched him struggling, I realized that something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing, I could see directly into the eye of the great fish.
Mr. Halverson, isn't it true that your wife consumed a ten-pound bag of flour when no other food was available?
I went to the Judge's campaign website. There's a big banner on the front that says
A PASSION FOR WHAT IS RIGHT AND A COMMITMENT TO WHAT IS JUST
I swear to God, I thought it said this:
A PASSION FOR WHAT TO EAT AND A COMMITMENT TO WHAT IS RICE
That campaign commercial was awful.
It, and Judge Halverson's escapades, should be Exhibits A and B in the argument against an elected judiciary.
Go to the Nevada Supreme Court's website and read the documents filed in the judicial disciplinary case (under "High Profile Cases" on the website).
You'll see that the Judge has some serious problems (like believing practically the entire Nevada judiciary was conspiring against her and barricading herself in her office) which should have disqualified her from consideration in the first place if Nevada had an appointed judiciary.
WELCOME... to Jurassic Court!
Anyone who voted to put this wheezing brontosaurus on the bench deserves her.
I heard she has a tattoo of a butt...
with a butt on it...
and it's on her butt.
I wash myself with a rag on a stick ...