A Dramatic Amusing Farewell Email
Last week, we brought you a dramatic farewell e-mail from Shinyung Oh, who was fired from Paul Hastings after a miscarriage.
This week, we have another farewell e-mail, but this one is light fare for amusement value only. Our tipster says:
A friend at Reed Smith sent me this. It’s AWESOME. Author is staff/office clerk. And yes, he really did start it with “My fellow Americans.”
The Reed Smith staff member is leaving for grad school and e-mailed the entire San Fran office to say goodbye, and share his plans for the future. There are a few JFK quotes. The full e-mail is available after the fold, but here’s a taste:
As you all know, this is my last day with the firm. It has been a very interesting two and a half years and I have gained a lot of insight on the workings of a big corporate law firm. I have found newfound respect and admiration for all the work you do every day in a high-stress, fast-pace environment. However, I feel that this is the right time to move onto a new opportunity and challenge…In our nation’s current state of affairs, there are many things that need to be changed, such as our diplomacy and image abroad, and I plan on being part of the solution….
I know that my future words and actions will not only represent the U.S., or American University, but also Reed-Smith LLP…
The interests of the American people will become my top priority and someday, I will be looking out for all of you…
Pompous, much?
Our tipster identifies the writer as “staff/office clerk.” We love that he sent this, um, modest farewell to the entire San Francisco office of Reed Smith. Bold quotes were his work, not ours.
From: REDACTED
Sent: Friday, May 09, 2008 3:57 PM
To: All Attorneys - SFO; All Staff - SFO; REDACTED
Subject: Farewell AddressMy fellow Americans,
As you all know, this is my last day with the firm. It has been a very interesting two and a half years and I have gained a lot of insight on the workings of a big corporate law firm. I have found newfound respect and admiration for all the work you do every day in a high-stress, fast-pace environment. However, I feel that this is the right time to move onto a new opportunity and challenge. I will be attending American University’s School of International Service in Washington, D.C. The school is also ranked 8th in the nation for preparing future foreign policy professionals. I will be pursuing a combined Master’s Degree in Int’l Politics and Int’l Peace and Conflict Resolution with concentrations in Int’l Security and Human Rights. In addition, I will also be working towards a Professional Certificate in Peacebuilding. My main goal will be finding a balance and compromise between Int’l Security and Human Rights, so I can develop and introduce a new foreign policy that our federal government will someday adopt.
Believe it or not, each and every one of you contributed to my personal growth as an individual, and for that, I am grateful. I look forward to this new chapter, and am anxious to help make a difference in this nation and the rest of the world. In our nation’s current state of affairs, there are many things that need to be changed, such as our diplomacy and image abroad, and I plan on being part of the solution. President John F. Kennedy once said in a speech:
“To those peoples in the huts and villages across the globe struggling to break the bonds of mass misery, we pledge our best efforts to help them help themselves, for whatever period is required - not because the Communists may be doing it, not because we seek their votes, but because it is right. If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.”
I hope to do everything in my power to fulfill what John F. Kennedy believed was our pledge to each other and to the rest of the world. Whether I am in Africa rebuilding homes and villages, or at the United Nations drafting and negotiating peace treaties with warring nations, I know that my future words and actions will not only represent the U.S., or American University, but also Reed-Smith LLP.
In the distant future, once I believe my goals are achieved abroad, I will return my attention towards our domestic issues like health care and education. The interests of the American people will become my top priority and someday, I will be looking out for all of you. I will remember and act upon President Kennedy’s most famous quote, “ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country” and eventually, I want to be in a position to help our own citizens, and provide better opportunities for ourselves, our children, and future generations so that everyone can look towards a better future.
Finally, I have appreciated being part of Reed Smith LLP, the opportunities that have been provided to me, and the connections I have made during the last two and a half years. I look forward to this new chapter, challenge, and career in my life. I wish you all the best. Thank you.
Sincerely yours,
REDACTED
(106) Comments
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What a poon.
"believe it or not . . . " ha ha ha ha ha! wow.
I also look forward to being a tool-douche-bag...THANKS!
"My main goal will be finding a balance and compromise between Int’l Security and Human Rights, so I can develop and introduce a new foreign policy that our federal government will someday adopt."
Ambitious...
American University's School of International Service is a TTT
Why don't you spare us with this bullshit Kash? YOu don't have to post every stupid thing that any idiot in the world writes.
Can you say Jerry Maguire's mission statement?? ha ha
I dunno... I respect this. Sure it could be seen as pompous, but I see it as "dreaming big."
You gotta dream big to do big.
-Randazza
Worst. Post. Ever. [by Kash]
Pretty dumb. I can see this kid on youtube getting mauled by a tiger or something.
This guy is a failure at life.
So everyone in the firm knows that it is this support staff member's last day? And "each and every one" of the 84 attorneys and unspecified number of support staff contributed her personal growth as an individual?
This must be a really tight knit office.
Friggin hippie.
What is TTT?
Douche. Bag.
9:44, I agree.
This guy is the douchebagiest farewell email ever !!!
- Reed Smith = TTT
- AU = TTT
- "staff / office clerk" = TTT
I don't think AU's IR program is that good. In DC, it's SAIS, G-town or nothing. I guess, WWilsonSchool, Tufts, CSIS and Yale are top-tier as well.
He will fit right in at American.
My favorite quote is this:
"My main goal will be finding a balance and compromise between Int’l Security and Human Rights, so I can develop and introduce a new foreign policy that our federal government will someday adopt."
Good luck doing that at AU (a.k.a. the worst school in the DC metro area).
9:50 -- hit the nail on the head.
American University (both Washington College of Law and its most famous student, Roger Lou. and whatever non-SAIS / non-Georgetown IR program it houses) is for losers who couldn't get into Georgetown.
The best part is that he included the U.S. News ranking (and not even the real ranking - the specialty ranking) in the 5th sentence.
Someone's mother told him he was special too often.
Isn't a new foreign policy based on the balancing of human rights and security interest a) old hack and b) what got us into this Iraq mess in the first place?
I WORK AT REED SMITH AND KNOW THIS TOOL. The only reason he is going to American University is because he didn't get into his first choice, some school I've never even heard of in Fairfield, Iowa called "Maharishi Yogi University" -- from the website, it apparantly is a school for hippies and loonies http://www.mum.edu/
TTT means Totally Top Tier
This guy deserves a medal.
When you label something as amusing, isn't it supposed to be funny? This was just retarded, not funny at all. I am sure half the people who got this email wanted to kill the person who sent it for wasting their time.
Poor guy. I have a close friend who got the same exact degree and no admits it is worthless. Opened no job opps, even more in debt now, and learned next to nothing. It's a degree for people who just like to go to school for a bit longer, nothing more.
this has to have been a joke. i cannot believe that any person who wrote this could actually get into AU. i went to AU for law school, which is substantially more competative than the international relations program, but i thought that the school vetted its candidates a little better than this. frankly, after reading this im embarrased to call myself an AU alum.
Kids in my high school use to change the world by balancing national security and human rights all the time; it was no big deal. None of them had a certificate in peacebuilding either.
I think that this guy is retarded.
what else were his options, TTT office clerk at a TTT firm
Why does every d-bag think that the road to salvation involves "rebuilding homes and villages" in "Africa".
Just what Africa needs is idiots like this moron.
10:08(1) -- is today the 1st day that you're "embarrased to call [your]self an AU alum"? if i went there for law school, i would have been embarrased the moment my degree was handed to me!
Maharishi Yogi University is better than NYU law.
not a big deal
I would have been embarrassed if the thought of having to even consider applying to AU (or Fordham) law crossed my mind, much less going or graduating from there.
Yuck.
9:58 am. You just reinforced my belief that AU is a TTT school.
Any word on Schulte layoffs?
My main goal will be finding a balance and compromise between Int’l Security and Human Rights, so I can develop and introduce a new foreign policy that our federal government will someday adopt.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
c'mon this has to be a joke, it's too tongue in cheek...
I am always amused at how posters on this board feel the need to read such a "piece of crap" that was "a waste of time" and then spend even more of their allegedly precious time commenting on it by insulting the author.
Yes, the author is perhaps a little naive, but I am puzzled as to why so many of you feel the intense need and burning desire to attack and insult. Does that really make you feel that much more secure with your HYS degree and your associate job at a v5 firm?
"The interests of the American people will become my top priority and someday, I will be looking out for all of you."
Thanks so much. We all really really appreciate what your vast AU wisdom will be doing for us in the future.
-RKS
KASH -- You really would be better served by just posting BIKINI PICS and taking it easy on this type of rubbish.
10:31am = AU grad
Dude, and for every other self-obsessed person out there like this (I'm always stunned by how many of you there are), some humility, please. No one cares about how great (intelligent, cool, important, idealistic, etc.) you are if you are trying to flaunt it (which just shows insecurity). People value humility 100x more.
Maharishi U probably could have done this kid, and his ego, some good.
9:54 am: "Someone's mother told him he was special too often."
Right on the money. Frickin' Gen-Y.
Good lord, what a douchebag! AU is TTT through and through.
10:31 says: "Does that really make you feel that much more secure with your HYS degree and your associate job at a v5 firm?"
you must be new here. for most of these people, that's all they have--so the answer to your question is "yes."
I hung on every word of that email waiting for the "amusing" part. Kash: can I have those three minutes of my life back, please?
No, 10:31am = HYS grad and mid-level at v5
But I am comfortable enough with who I am not to feel the need to insult other universities. I am also comfortable enough to humbly learn when I am supervised by a brilliant senior associate from what many of the posters here would call a "TTT" and answering to instructions from clients who also graduated from such "TTTs".
What a poor attempt at being funny and quite insulting to anyone at the office with different political opinions (although this being San Fran, probably everyone in the office is super liberal).
Schulte layoffs supposedly to be around 15 in the NYC office... maybe more in other offices.... Schulte is TTT anyway so who cares
Look, the summers arrived today. We have new chicks to check out around the office, and some of them are more than simply "law hot."
But, one thing is missing. What, you ask? Here's the answer: more pictures of Kash. Kash in a bathing suit, in a skimpy dress, etc. C'mon Kash, let's have it. It's a lot better than this crappy love-me email.
This is a tongue-in-cheek farewell, right? I mean, nobody could have such a douchily self-important view of themselves, could they? And say it all out loud, even if they truly thought it?
Obama follower.
Did he burn any bridges with this crap?
And yeah, 11:07 is right. We need more skin, Kash.
jeez, a little self-awareness would have done this guy and most of the above-posters a lot of good. best of luck trying to save the world from lawyers.
Lol at everyone taking this seriously; you've all been owned.
After reading this, I threw up a little in my mouth.
Frickin' O'Bama voters.
Hopefully all of the 2008 American University School of International Service Master’s Degree in Int’l Politics and Int’l Peace and Conflict Resolution with a Professional Certificate in Peacebuilding graduates don't fix the whole world before this guy gets there.
You know what I'm sayin'? Leave some for the rest of us.
I think this is hysterical. Specifically, the fact that all of you supa-smart BIGlaw types could not see the obvious irony in that this kid is telling his former co-workers that he is off to save the world. The only thing more TTT than a not-so-subtle tounge-in-cheek farewell letter is that letter being swallowed hook line and sinker by a bunch of BIGlaw dopes.
TTT=?
TTT= All law firms except for Cravath.
Good for him for having aspirations and a sense of duty. Too bad that will all be shattered once he leaves academia and realizes what a heaping mound of horseshit government work is.
You guys are (for the most part) all such pompous jerks that my mouth waters at the mere idea of getting a job flipping burgers with John Galt.
Only weak losers get miscarriages. If you can't keep a fetus alive in your womb, then you don't deserve a 300k/yr biglaw job. I hope this helps.
11:15, 11:26, and 11:47 = TTT original drafter of the e-mail
"a Professional Certificate in Peacebuilding" + 5 years = "would you like to super-size that?"
Don't bother me now mom! Can't you see I'm building peace?
TTT = orginally meant third tier, and now is simply a perjorative applied to any school/institution/anything that the self-important commenters on this blog feel is beneath their own positions in their own limited spheres of influence. It's a way of making themselves feel better that they didn't go to Harvard and don't work at Cravath.
Come on guys, didn't you see "Mean Girls?" Calling AU fat will not make Georgetown any skinnier.
BTW, certificates of any kind = TTT
11:52: Anyone who quotes "Mean Girls" in an argument==TTT.
who's trying to make Georgetown skinnier? I just like degrading AU. It's called the social ladder, moron. If you're not climbing, you're falling.
AU=fat cow.
11:47 here and nope, I'm just a 1990 CA bar passer that has seen the light. There is intelligent life outside your greenback padded cells. More kool-aid with that?
what 12:08 means by "see the light" is "I went to a TTT, couldn't find a job, and am now managing a surf shop."
12:07 - if you were doing any meaningful advancement on the "social ladder," you wouldn't feel the need to advertise it. More walk, less talk.
Considering what I'm working on this morning, I'd rather be managing a surf shop. After 10+ years practicing law, I just don't have the people skills.
Social ladder means nothing if you don't have a job at Cravath.
12:13= so I guess that means you're under me, huh?
Difficult to tell whether the email writer meant what he said or was making a parody.
I have met people who think like this and would get on a soapbox and speechify this loudly, all the while promoting their ego. Jack Welch, who was the head of NBC/General Electric, once wrote on an early performance review (when he was a lowly engineer) that his future goal was to be CEO. So the arrogance of this letter is not beyond-the-pale.
On the other hand, the listing of the litany of academics he will achieve plus his carefully plotted and wordy path seem to smack of mockery. Its easy to imagine someone having nothing to do on their last day and merely spending the time pulling JFK quotes to embarrass Obama fanatics.
I'm going with sincere, however. If this is an attempt at satire, it doesn't quite go far enough.
What about my job at Reed Smith?
Reed Smith > Cravath
Sincerely,
HYS '06
11:52= fat, ugly cow.
12:32 - Well, with the assertive way you called me a moron, I can only conclude that you must be in a position to put me in my place and therefore must be above me on the social ladder. After all, how could someone in such an enviable position and with such a confident mien NOT be speaking authoritatively when they mock other people, law schools, or firms. I'm sure if I met you, you would have all sorts of luxuries to demonstrate to me your dominance in wealth and status. if your obviously acute perception of social hierarchy didn't humble me, the sight of your Rolex or BMW almost certainly would. Kudos to you, my good man, for solidifying your spot by taking me down a peg. A whole peg. Wow.
11:47 / 12:08 here. Having done it "all" I can honestly say that managing a surf shop would be nice. Instead I "manage" people like you. Ha ha herding cats would be more like it. I can't fathom why putatively smart people can fail so miserably at following simple instructions, But since you're all such success stories, I guess it's beneath you. That being said, were you listening when *they* said to stop and smell the roses? Do your kids hate you? I bet they do! Got a life? I doubt it. But at least you have $$$ ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! "Morans!"
11:47/12:08/12:45 - Don't bother. These people wrap themselves in US News and Vault rankings like a blanket to protect against the chill of not knowing what they're doing. Their biggest accomplishment of the day will be that they managed to reassure themselves that they're better then everyone else. Somewhere a hedge fund manager is sitting on his yacht doing the same thing about these guys and a Prince somewhere is laughing at all of them and so on and so on.
I love being an RS associate, making the same amount of money as a Cravath associate, but leaving before 7 every day. I'm awesome!
You go into some of these TTT law firms in New York, and like a lot of law firms, the jobs have been gone now for six months and nothing's replaced them. And it's not surprising then the associates get bitter, they cling to antipathy to people wirth Professional Certificates in Peacebuilding who want to develop and introduce a new foreign policy that our federal government will someday adopt as a way to explain their frustrations.
- BHO
Cravath is prestigious. RS is not.
Thanks 12:56. Signs of intelligent life are encouraging.
-- 11:47/12:08/12:45
Cravath is the cutest fat chick in a pageant of fat chicks. But it's still a fat chick.
Cravath associates are a little chubby. They are also kind of sweaty not to mention pasty. But they do top notch cutting edge legal work the likes of which the industry has never seen.
Ahem,
Anyone who uses the term "TTT" in a comment is a douchebag.
That is all.
Did anyone else hear "Don't tase me Bro!" while reading that email?
Ha ha. Isn't it fun for us rich, jaded BIgLaw associates to laugh at the lowly staff members who have the gall to actually want to do something useful in this world. What a loser!
1:28=fat TTT.
Who does this guy think he is????
"In the distant future, once I believe my goals are achieved abroad, I will return my attention towards our domestic issues like health care and education. "
Trully hillarious...
I know some really smart and incredible people who will be doing all those things... I know for a fact that they didn't work some useless job at Reed Smith and go on to schools like AU grad school.
It's really kinda sad. It's either a joke or this guy is just out of his mind. It's sad, like an average or below average looking person who thinks they are hot. You want to call them out but then you realize its just sad.
Oh god. If I hear "MS International Development with a concentration in conflict resolution" one more time, I'm going to shoot myself. Or, at least, move out of DC. God I hate this town.
9:52am, you obviously have no clue about DC schools if you think that AU is the worst school in that metro area. Keep your comments to your immediate geographic area.
Hey, I happen to be ok with my "useless job" here!
12:56: except hedge fund managers on yachts and princes are living lives of luxury while others work. I may earn a better than average salary, but am sifting through documents, again, all day, night, and often weekend, for my six figure pittance.
Dr Gonzo -
The difference is that I didn't hear you bad-mouthing anyone because they were lower on the "social ladder." You, I, and most on this board work long hours for various amounts of money, and sometimes are even decently compensated for it. That's great. But as soon as you add arrogance to the equation, as 12:07/12:21 did, then you had better be able to back it up. And frankly, coming from a top tier school and working at a top tier firm for a couple hundred grand a year doesn't give anyone the right to assume they're better than anyone else. And yes, I am in the club.
how is that in any way amusing? if its real, the person's a tard, and if it's not, they're still a tard because the tone is way too serious for it to even come across as facecious. Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaame.
Lately there has been a little typical sort of political flare-up here at ATL, because I said something that everybody knows is true, which is that there are a whole bunch of lawyers in TTT law firms who are bitter. They are angry. They feel like they have been left behind. They feel like nobody is paying attention to what they're going through. So I said, well you know, when you're bitter you turn to what you can count on. So people, they get mad about staff/office clerks who want to get Professional Certificates in Peacebuilding and develop and introduce a new foreign policy that our federal government will someday adopt, or they get frustrated about how things are changing. That's a natural response.
- BHO
Probably a librarian or litigation database analyst -- his was of saying goodbye drone lawyers, I'm off to change the planet, nothing here at Reed Smith for people with ambition
Kash money strikes again
He'll finish his master's in international douchery and be back at Reed Smith in two years, guaranteed. Too many douchebags head to DC for douchebag jobs. It would be easier getting a job at Cravath than getting a job with the federal agencies he might want to be practice his brand of douchebaggery with.
What a pompous ass. I'll bet this tool couldn't even pass the Foreign Service Written Exam. American U? Ha, don't make me laugh. Sniveling tool.
I can remember a French prof. telling his class that there is no word in that tongue which corresponds to the English concept of "enterainment". He felt that the closest French equivalent was "distraction"