'Porky' Caption Contest Finalists: Time to Vote!

Last week, we offered you this courtroom scene photo (without context) and asked for caption submissions. Humor, unlike justice, is not blind. Here is our completely subjective list of the top ten finalists. You get to vote for the best one.

A. It was John’s first–and last–pro bono matter.

B. “You see, Your Honor, my client’s house was blown down without even so much as a Notice of Condemnation!”

C. Your honor, the fact that Kermit’s finger smells like bacon IS relevant.

D. Res Ipsa Porquitor

E. All rise for his honor, Judge Wolf.

F. In a shocking deviation from its preference for the electric chair, the defendant (right) was sentenced by the Texas court to a three-hour roasting at 350 degrees, Jack Daniels style.

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G. On trial for drugs and prostitution, Babe found himself following the path of Feldman, Haim, Diamond and so many other child actors who came before him.

H. Frat Stud (left) sits in disbelief as the court disregards his “Pigs in my high school used to commit serial murder all the time and then claim that they are incapable of prosecution under state criminal law because they are not human all the time, it was no big deal” defense.

I. Hold on counsel, let me guess … insanity defense?

J. Jim was horrified to learn that cocounsel had not read the section of Scalia and Garner’s new book on oral argument that he had highlighted – “dress appropriately and bear yourself with dignity.”

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The poll closes Tuesday night at 2 a.m. PST. We’ll give you the winner, as well as the story behind the photo, on Wednesday.

Earlier: ATL Gives You A Real Caption Contest