'Porky' Caption Contest Finalists: Time to Vote!
Last week, we offered you this courtroom scene photo (without context) and asked for caption submissions. Humor, unlike justice, is not blind. Here is our completely subjective list of the top ten finalists. You get to vote for the best one.
A. It was John's first--and last--pro bono matter.
B. "You see, Your Honor, my client's house was blown down without even so much as a Notice of Condemnation!"
C. Your honor, the fact that Kermit's finger smells like bacon IS relevant.
D. Res Ipsa Porquitor
E. All rise for his honor, Judge Wolf.
F. In a shocking deviation from its preference for the electric chair, the defendant (right) was sentenced by the Texas court to a three-hour roasting at 350 degrees, Jack Daniels style.
G. On trial for drugs and prostitution, Babe found himself following the path of Feldman, Haim, Diamond and so many other child actors who came before him.
H. Frat Stud (left) sits in disbelief as the court disregards his "Pigs in my high school used to commit serial murder all the time and then claim that they are incapable of prosecution under state criminal law because they are not human all the time, it was no big deal" defense.
I. Hold on counsel, let me guess ... insanity defense?
J. Jim was horrified to learn that cocounsel had not read the section of Scalia and Garner's new book on oral argument that he had highlighted - "dress appropriately and bear yourself with dignity."
The poll closes Tuesday night at 2 a.m. PST. We'll give you the winner, as well as the story behind the photo, on Wednesday.
Earlier: ATL Gives You A Real Caption Contest
(33) 
F&#kin Pigs
I am sure someone will come along and complain about some caption that was nominated and didn't make the cut, but I have to say..... most of these are pretty darn funny.
i like the dirty one.
D is clearly the best:
Lawyers-only knowledge + pun + fewest words.
Brevity is the soul of wit.
Given how much we all love "FRAT STUD," H has to be the winner! And I second 2:33 - most of these are hilarious!
not a bad list, really. G is clearly the most amusing, and A is probably second. H holds a bit of sentimental ATL value as well.
Gallion OUT!
You have to be a serious 1L geek to think Res Ipsa Porquitor is funny, the kind that thinks "Lawyers Do it in Their Briefs" is funny.
You know JT has to give it up for the only true serial commentator competition JT's ever had. This one's for you, FS.
BTW Lat, the caption should read FRAT STUD. The imitators always miss the little details, and the capital letters add a layer of douchey, white-kid-in-college, collar popping entitlement.
well put 3:11 - that is the only one that isn't funny at all. law school jerktards.
Gallion OUT!
Lawyer Momentarily At A Loss For Words As His Secret Affair With Pig Client Is Revealed
None of these are funny. Yet another sad piece of evidence to support the "Lawyers Are Not Funny" argument.
None of these are even kind of funny.
C is pure genius, but most people won't get it.
Lame. All of them, lame.
C was absolutely hilarious- it got my vote. I loved B too, almost spit out my lunch.
I was surprised to see A leading. Either I get it and don't find it that funny or just simply don't get it.
B and E were test captions, designed to weed out those without senses of humor. If you voted for either of them you will soon be rounded up by the ATL police.
Where the hell is "That will do counsel, that will do."??
And, no, I did not submit it originally, I just thought it was the funniest thing ever.
Choice A made me laugh out loud--a rarity among ATL caption contests.
That'll do, Lat. That'll do.
I agree with 4:06. "That'll do counsel. That'll do" got screwed and should have been included. No, I didn't submit it either.
D rocked. those dumping on it are from TTT's who think Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader is hard work, man.
Please recuse me.....please recuse me.....please recuse me.....
I don't think A is funny. C is funny. Frat Studs should like C more than H.
The one about lawyers struggling with business casual was funny.
Res ipsa porkquitor is still pathetic.
If that pig were muttonchoped, it would be the spitting image of Chester Arthur.
I think E is the best because it actually takes into account the lawyer's and the pig's facial expressions. Most of the other ones don't make any sense in the context of the picture - they just relate to pigs in some way.
A makes sense in the context of the picture, 6:03. Also, I feel sorry for 3:41. You almost spit out your lunch from a lame 3 Little Pigs reference? You are pathetic.
JT at 3:13 called it. Frat Stud should take it.
C is awesome, I laugh every time I read it.
H is a close second.
The JT troll sucks. We get it. Your fake persona has a huge ego and refers to himself in the third person. Brilliant.
Dear anonymous law school guy,
Thank you for your interest in Justin & Timberlake. JT has reviewed your resume and determined that JT has no positions available for you at this time. Based on your mediocore grades and laughable attempt to compensate those failures with Moot Court competitions, we are confident you will be successful in obtaining a low paying pool attorney position in Sussex County, New Jersey.
Very Truly Yours,
JT, Esq.
.
When a group of unfunny people try to make jokes and then choose the best among them, the result is a collection of awful jokes with any gems carefully elided in the final cut.
Noted.
Law students and practitioners have no sense of humor.
The clunker of a statement: "Your honor, the fact that Kermit's finger smells like bacon IS relevant." is beating out "All rise for his honor, Judge Wolf."
E and F are the only ones that relate to the facial expressions of the two persons in the caption.