Add RSS RSS

'Porky' Caption Contest: And The Winner Is...

Over 2400 votes are in, and the winner of the ATL caption contest is...
Pig Trial.jpg

It was John's first--and last--pro bono matter.

Now here's the real story behind the photo. Those captions having to do with the three little pigs were closest to the target. From the Appleton Post-Crescent:

Second grade students attend the State of Wisconsin vs. the Big Bad Wolf mock trial at the Manitowoc County Courthouse on Wednesday. More than 800 second grade students on Tuesday, April 29, Wednesday, April 30, and Thursday, May 1, will attend the trial of the Big Bad Wolf, accused of crimes against the three little pigs. The big Bad Wolf is charged with criminal damage to property and criminal trespass. Manitowoc County Circuit Judge Patrick L. Willis will preside over the mock trial.

What about attempted murder?

Big Bad Wolf Mock Trial [Appleton Post-Crescent]

Earlier: 'Porky' Caption Contest Finalists: Time to Vote!

Comments
avatar
1 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, May 7, 2008 11:31 AM

res ipsa porquitur was robbed

avatar
2 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, May 7, 2008 11:32 AM

You mean attempted hamicide?

avatar
3 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, May 7, 2008 11:32 AM

It was Paul Hastings' first - of many - pro bono matters to rebuild its image.

avatar
4 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, May 7, 2008 11:36 AM

Attempted hamicide? Ingenious.

avatar
5 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, May 7, 2008 11:41 AM

Dude, I was so robbed! Kash, I changed my mind--you have no taste.

avatar
6 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, May 7, 2008 11:51 AM

Clearly a complacent prosecutor if those are the only charges he can come up with.

avatar
7 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, May 7, 2008 11:56 AM

Attempted Hamicide to winner of caption contest!

avatar
8 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, May 7, 2008 12:07 PM

Second Attempted Hamicide to Winner!

avatar
9 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, May 7, 2008 12:48 PM

Makes no sense. Pigs can pay for lawyers. They never need pro bono.

avatar
10 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, May 7, 2008 12:54 PM

@12:48 because they bring home the bacon! *rimshot*

avatar
11 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, May 7, 2008 1:10 PM

Idiots -- you don't talk about murder with second graders.

avatar
12 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, May 7, 2008 1:20 PM

That caption was one of the least funny options. I have now resigned myself to the fact that ATL readers are idiots.

avatar
13 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, May 7, 2008 1:50 PM

As long as the Big Bad Wolf does not enter the pigs' property, and does his huffing and puffing from the public street or a public easement (e.g. a sidewalk), then his actions do not constitute trespass. There has to be a physical entry onto the property (and an intent to do so). The most they could get him for is nuisance.

avatar
14 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, May 7, 2008 3:04 PM

1:50, that assumes that no debris (e.g., wolf spit, leaves, pebbles) entered the property, and that's a big assumption.

1:20, you probably liked the bacon-finger caption because you are retarded.

avatar
15 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, May 7, 2008 3:26 PM

3:04--the State would have a difficult time proving that any leaves and pebbles that were blown around from the huffing and puffing were not already present on the property, and did in fact enter due to the actons of Big Bad Wolf.

As for wolf spit, that would require DNA testing to prove that any wolf spit on the property did in fact belong to Big Bad.

avatar
16 Posted by guest | Permalink Wednesday, May 7, 2008 7:33 PM

3:04, 1:50's comment was that "[the Big, Bad Wolf's] actions do not constitute trespass." My response was that that they very likely do. I did not argue that evidence to prove this would be abundant. However, any witnesses present during the blow job (this includes the pigs), could testify that debris flew onto the property. If there were not witnesses, an expert could recreate the blowing under like conditions.

Post Your Comment