FIRST to say have fun, but not TOO much fun, and take your work seriously.

Advice: Don't take your 1-month old child to the poker night. You'll probably spill beer on her and look like an idiot. If you can't find someone to watch your kid (or you don't want to have someone else watch your kid), leave your spouse at home with the kid unless the firm has specifically made it a child-friendly event and specifically invited children (e.g., if there were a kid's fair, which there won't be). Don't bring a guest unless a guest is invited.

Seems like the old adage is true: Third the Turd

Any news on Schulte layoffs?

Determining whether to bring a guest can be tough, and you don't want to be the only person with a guest. Don't ask the recruiters whether you should bring a guest because they'll always say "Sure!" in their perky little way. Ask a senior associate whether he/she is bring his/her spouse/whatever.

Not to pile on PHJW or anything but remember this story:

http://www.abovethelaw.com/2006/09/summer_associates_stories.php

Timing of day

how early do i need to get there?
how early can i leave?

In New York, be in by 9:30. As for leaving, on nights when no SA event is planned, stay until at least 7:00.

With many firms starting their summer programs today, can anyone comment on the likelihood of a V100 Firm giving me a summer associate position this cycle? I graduated Magna Cum Laude from Hofstra and will be going to B-School at Zarb in the fall, but I would like to do a summer associate gig this summer before I go to B-School.

Thanks,

HM

I am desperately awaiting summer associate scandals and horror stories.

Watch the booze/partying. I have seen multiple instances where associates stay out late partying at an evening summer event, and then either arrive late the next day (when a meeting or other event was scheduled) or completely miss an early morning event - these were all completely ridiculous because the summer typically did not have to "do" anything- they were just supposed to attend as a courtesy to them/learning experience. Also, relatedly, remember that the attorneys at the firm are not just your "friends", they are your employers and reviewers, so do not get too "casual".

Hey, the alcohol wouldn't be free if they didn't want you to drink a great deal of it. So man up to the bar and order Jaeger bombs for everyone (two for the hiring partner).

1:28 - what city are you in?

What kind of TTT firm throws an event where you can't bring a guest??

10-5 is good for NYC. Staying until 7 is for herbs.

Dress on the first day.

I'm a UChicago student, so I won't be starting until the last start date. Do I still wear a suit, even though all the summers have gone to business casual by then as they have been working for a few weekends? (and the firm is business casual in general)

Always order dessert and coffee. Take your time and enjoy them both.

"Also, relatedly, remember that the attorneys at the firm are not just your "friends", they are your employers and reviewers, so do not get too "casual"."

I.e., always use a condom.

Try to stand out as the "party animal" in your class. Drink more and work less than anyone else. The lawyers at your firm all know this is a game, and they're looking to see who plays it best.

You want to be the Summer Associate equivalent of the guy who got the lowest possible passing score on the Bar Exam.

Advice: sleep with as many attorneys in the firm as possible, this will ensure favorable reviews at the end of summer.

1:34, at every firm I've been involved with, there are lots of events where guests are allowed but no one actually brings one (usually smaller things like happy hours/dinner right after work on a weekday).

Just a general piece of advice for the ladies. Don't date associates, SA's or partners just because they're established, well-off and wield some authority. Power shouldn't be the greatest aphrodisiac. It may seem like a good idea to fawn all over an established attorney (esp. compared to law school schlubs), but most of these guys are damaged goods. When you're finally his equal, that beer belly, balding pate, arrogance, anal retentiveness and better-than-thou personality won't be that cute anymore. Trust me, I've seen it happen a dozen times.

1:28,

Being a summer associate is an amazing thing. You barely have any work to do, you go out to lunch for several hours a day, you go to ritzy paries with open bars at least once a week and get paid a boatload of money to do it. That said, a great way to lose an offer is getting greedy. If you only have to work 3 hours a day, don't bitch about it and try to work 2 hours a day. Don't skip the very expensive nightime events so you can hang out with your douche bag friends. Etc.

As for specific times, 9:30 to 5:30 at the very least - but try to come in earlier when you first start (you'll have nothing to do, and there's no reason to come in early, but it'll make a good first impression if you do).

1:28 = nyc v10

To UChicago student: Wear a suit. Most people wear a suit on their first day, and it shows that you take the job seriously. You don't absolutely have to, and probably no one else will be wearing one, but there is a small risk of offending someone if you don't wear a suit, so why take that risk.

1:37(2) = Barack Obama?

1:41 best advice ever.

Too bad the pictured "babe" for this article is such a fatty. More "babe the talking pig" and less "perfect 10."

If you fuck up, you can still get a good job. For example, I know that the "Katten Kreep" traded up during OCI.

The partners and associates are always watching you at every event. 100% focus is always needed to survive.

Have we finally gotten the Kash bikini pic we've been lobbying for?

When a senior associate is talking to you, don't make eye contact with them. Stare at a spot on their forehead until they think something is on their face and then when they walk away snicker loud enough for them to hear you. Repeat as often as necessary.

Before you start, write down how you envision your life and career eight years from now and seal it in an envelope. Eight years from now after taking the inevitable offer (you have to be either socially retarded or just plain retarded not to get an offer) open the envelope, cry then shoot yourself.

Hey Lovely Summer, relax, take off your shoes, kick back, unwind. Would you like a glass of champagne? No, no, the good stuff always fizzes like that. Imbibe already

-BIngham 'mentor'

1:36 - "Always order dessert and coffee. Take your time and enjoy them both." 2 hour lunches = 2 hours more I have to bill that day before I can leave work and see my real friends. Don't be greedy and inconsiderate.

FRESH FISH!!!

Reel 'em in, boys and girls.

"2 hour lunches = 2 hours more I have to bill that day before I can leave work and see my real friends."

Then don't go to lunch in the first place, whiner.

your summer should be all about models and bottles
http://www.brightcove.tv/title.jsp?title=307736763

Summer if you want to make a friend, offer to pick up my dry cleaning and then pay for it.

Try not to consume a 12 pack while sharing a golf cart with a very senior partner at the firm outing (true story). Try to solicit or get assigned to some pro bono work. If they are busy, most associates love giving this shit away b/c it cuts into their profitability (read: bonus). But, it is real work that usually gets a lot less handholding and supervision because the stakes are much lower. You won't be practicing law, but it will be pretty damn close, especially on the transactional side.

I find your patronizing, dismissive attitude of ACLU-type summer jobs repulsive. These jobs are actually much harder to get than jobs at socalled "BigLaw" firms, which are essentially looking for warm bodies to fill slots.

Ordinarily I would say not to worry - you have to do something pretty egregious to lose that offer. Chances are you've had a job someplace before, and you know what's expected of you. If you don't, then there's no advice to give you that will help.

That said, this summer the market is different. Firms may be looking to no-offer some summers in lieu of lay offs or other budget cuts. So, in an excess of caution, consider your summer a 6 week job interview, and make sure to at least follow the basic rules:

(a) be a professional: respond quickly to e-mails and phone calls, bring a pen and pad to every meeting, be attentive and upbeat even if what you're doing sucks; always show the proper respect to everyone - from janitor to partner

(b) don't tell anyone anything you wouldn't tell your new girlfriend/boyfriend's mother;

(c) no more than two drinks at any event;

(d) when in doubt always dress-up rather than dress-down;

(e) show up at or before 9:30, every day

(f) always leave at 6:00 or later, as required

(g) do every assignment, on time, to the best of your ability, no matter how stupid

(h) you are always available to work, at any time, even weekends (thank you sir, may I have another...)

(i) until further notice, you work for your secretary, not the other way around. you ask for help, nicely, only when you can't do something yourself.

Whats an ACLU?

2:07 - dude, I totally did that and I almost yakked because it was 120 degrees on the course. In fact, I probably know who you are, and we were there together. Get back to work, I know you're busy.

Don't be lazy and disrespectful. I was shocked by the laziness and disrespect by some top 5 law school summers who were so convinced that they were getting an offer that they didn't spellcheck or proofread emails or memos before sending, would (in response to a research request) cut and paste the descriptions of cases from westlaw without any explanation (or re-formatting), demanded 2 hour fancy lunches everyday, didn't show up to summer events associates had spent time planning, etc. Although it is true that my V10 firm gave everyone offers (which is frustrating since it rewards this type of entitled, spoiled attitude), that's not the complete end of the story. Now some associates who are in charge of delegating work to these junior associates don't trust these associates enough to give them more substantive/interesting work and assign that work to the former summers who showed more respect and a better work ethic.

2:07 --- ha ha ha ha ha.

This is 2:08 again, just need to correct a typo: I forgot "each half hour" at the end of "no more than two drinks at any event."

ACLU lawyers don't have a sense of humor, apparently.

2:07 is obviously angry that no one wanted to fill their slot with his/her warm body.

You do not own your support staff. Only the partners get to scream at and insult your support staff.

Everyone knows how much money you are making. Don't be an ass. Skaddan Bottles could have paid for that booze himself.

You've been to college, right? You know how much you can drink before you do something really stupid? Yeah, one less than that.

1:57 = hilarious

2:16=Hiyo!

2:11

I doubt it. It was last summer, and it definitely wasn't that hot out. Stupid kid. I was in his foursome, and I suggested he might want to "settle down a bit" when he was six beers deep coming in off the front. He ignored my advice though. It didn't help the kid had never played before in his life, and said partner was probably a 3 or 4 handicap. It was painful to watch. I couldn't believe the kid got an offer.

I tore my ACLU once. That sucked.

2:11 makes good points. The only two kids who didn’t get offers in my summer class were from top 5 schools. They did sloppy work and didn’t go to events. It’s not easy to lose an offer, but these two did enough. And make no mistake, it’s REALLY hard to find another job when you don’t get an offer. If you can’t handle being a summer associate (the easiest job in the world), nobody is going to hire you to be a real associate.

Don't listen to 1:41, just some bitter old woman.

Please please, if you are an attractive female SA date male junior associates. We don't have much time to meet people and we are only a few years older than you and we can make sure that you actually have a good time. Finally you don't have to worry that we actually have enough power to sink your offer. As long as you aren't jerks to us we won't hurt you anyway. Just be nice and we can all have a good time.

Is ACLU the American College Law University? Didn't we already decide that was TTT along with UPenn State?

Don'ts

1. Don't be stupid.

2. Don't be an asshole.

3. Don't be greedy.

4. Don't get carried away by all the pampering and coddling. Start thinking you deserve it (you don't), and you will fall into 1-3 above. Appreciate it and you will be fine.

Do's
1. Do good work.

2. Be professional.

3. Have fun and make friends, but

4. Remember you are still applying for a job.

My best advice would be to

a) be good at golf. Not "I have messed around before" but I actually know what I am doing and have all of my own stuff. You don't have to be amazing, but know all of the rules and be able to break 100. Chances are most of the partners aren't much better than that anyway since they don't get play to all that much.

b) as long as you are a) then just let it be known around the firm that you'd like to play with anyone that wants to go and don't turn them down when they offer. Yeah getting up at 8 am on your Saturday to drive out (or be picked up) to the partner's CC kind of sucks. But you get great small group social time with the partners and they will love you and give you / want all of the good firm gossip.

Also, while sometimes you lose your weekend mornings, you often also get invited to go out during the week as well. Nothing feels as great as bouncing out of the office at noon on a Friday afternoon because the managing partner of the office is taking you out to play. Nobody will care that you skipped crappy training 8 and didn't bill your 3 hours of work for the day since you'll just tell them that you got invited out with Partner X.

Seriously, being a golfer was the best thing ever for my summer. I became real close with a bunch of the partners and SAs that many other summers never even met. These people didn't want to deal with the huge summer events but were more than happy to take me out to play golf. I also of course got to play some great courses for free and would get free lunch / drinks out at the CCs on the weekends.

Your draft memos should be at least as good as what you would turn in for a first-submission grade in your legal writing classes. That means no bullet points, editorializing, other lit writing BS, etc.

Heard of a summer and a junior associate who were nearly terminated for submitting a bullet-point style "draft" of a legal memo to corner office partner who actually needed the research.

don't try to be too smart or go above and beyond your assignments. you don't understand enough of how what you are being asked to do fits in with the bigger project and what is useful.

i disagree that being in by 9:30 a.m. is sufficient. depends on where you work... try to be there on the early side of when people come in where you sit. in some groups, being early is perceived as being hard-working and professional.

HofstraMagna -

Really?

Okay, I'll bite; absolutely zero.

Be vocal about your support for Barack Obama. This is especially important this summer, since an Obama loss would pretty much extinguish all hope for this country.

To Hofstra Magna:

Despite being "magna" you show a remarkable lack of EQ.

First, since, this post is a welcome to people starting their jobs, it might, for instance, have dawned on you that perhaps you should have looked for a job PRIOR to everyone else being hired. I am sure you can find a summer job somewhere at some law firm. However, BigLaw did its hiring months ago. Doesn't your awesome university have a career center to tell you these things? Did you not ever hear about summer recruiting cycles in your three previous years at school?

As for why a law firm would want you before you go to b-school, this is the classic JD/MBA dilemma. If you are so intent on not practicing law, why would a law firm give you a cushy, overpaid apprenticeship if you are choosing to go the business route? Why did you do your JD/MBA subsequently instead of concurrently?

Good luck to you. And maybe post for real career advice on businessweek.com's MBA Forums. But there, you will also find rankings for business schools and realize that the ROI on your expensive MBA is negligible.

Cheers

2:29 - like I said. Damaged goods.

Will I actually get staffed on a sophisticated, cross-border transaction or a piece of complex, bet-the-company litigation while I'm a summer? (T5-->V10)

Two other pieces of advice for really young summer associates:

1)
Remember that work emails are not IMs or texts or anything else. Work emails should be relatively formal. This runs the gamut from not writing "B there in 2 secs" to a partner that requests your presence in his office to client communications. Never sign off with a "thx"--that's "Thank you." Don't use bad words in emails. Don't surf the web like a fiend. Don't forward work-questionable links to YouTube videos.

This is not law school, and work email is not your personal email. Do that at home, even if you are not busy at work....it's not right and could be used against you.

2) If you must surf the web at work, surf "appropriate" content like NYTimes or WSJ or FT. Don't get caught on a site that could get you in trouble.

Can we get a legal blog that isn't full of douchebags, led by a douche? Or is that just endemic to the profession?

Sad but true, 2:40 is right. Golf is a great way for partners to think highly of you despite having any idea whether you're a good attorney or not.

If you can, make friends with a junior associate (1st or 2nd year). They can answer a lot of your questions regarding what is expected of you. 9-5 was perfectly fine (actually encouraged) in my office. As far as dress goes, look around and consult with your fellow summers (or junior associates). As far as events go, pace yourself early in the evening. The partners are generally there for the first couple of hours then drift home to their families. The younger associates are not going to care if you have a few drinks as long as you don't do something exceptionally stupid.

I'm sure your chances are just as good as a first or second year's of being the person who makes sure a 200 page doc doesn't mix straight quotes and curved quotation marks on sophisticated, cross-border transaction or a piece of complex, bet-the-company ligitation.

Ah the naive top law student: your life thus far has been an unqualified success, who would ever expect you to do mindless and demeaning tasks?

Shouldn't there really be 2 separate threads going on here?

I mean, surely the advice is not the same for top legal talent as it is for students just grateful to get a job.

2:16:
Like other prublic interest attorneys actually doing something productive with our lives, I had numerous offers from these wonderful big firms. Shockingly, I didn't take one. Wow. I know it's a difficult, unamerican concept to grasp--Making a career decision on something other than money.

Here's my advice for SAs:

1. Always act enthusiastic about an assignment, even if you think it sucks.
2. At events, avoid clustering with other SAs all evening and try to talk to a few of the partners/associates who are in attendance. Ask them what they're working on. If they're working on something interesting, ask them to let you know if they could use some help with it. Don't be a kiss ass, but don't miss opportunities to make connections with higher-ups. I got my best assignments by talking to partners at events, asking what they are working on, and then asking if I could help them with it.
3. Try not to gossip too much. People remember and distrust gossips.
4. Don't be a complainer.
5. Always be friendly toward your fellow SAs. If you don't like an SA, keep that to yourself. Remember that you're going to have to work with these people at some point and you want to be on good terms with everyone, even people who get on your nerves.
6. Be nice to recruiting people and show appreciation for the hard work that goes into setting up events for SAs. This goes along with the general theme of being grateful for what you're being given, rather than acting entitled.
7. If you receive any criticism regarding your work or attitude, take it very seriously. It seems like SAs only get criticized when there's a serious problem, so if you get any "talk" you should really take it to heart and shape up. Especially in this market.
8. Be sure that you understand an assignment before you start it. If you don't understand, ask for clarification. Nothing sucks more than turning in something that isn't what the person wanted.

I agree with 3:18. I did not go to a top 13 law school so I could work during my summer. Leave the memo writing and proof reading to the schmucks. I am going to party, but only with people that went to really impressive law schools.

Strolling through the door at 9:30 is not going to impress many people.

3:33 - unless you are in nyc in which case you'll beat most associates.

Act like the firm is beneath you. That way, they know that you're something really special.

3:18, You are going to make it really easy for everyone else at your firm by being the elitest schmuck that you are. No one is entitled to a job, regardless of where you go to school or what your grades are. Try taking the silver spoon out of your mouth and actually participate in the summer experience...who knows, you might actually learn something - hopefully that you are an insufferable ass.

WTF IS ZARB??

We are missing the obvious. The economy sucks right now. Even if it promises to improve in the next year or so when these summers come back, it's on everyone's mind.

All I'm saying is this year is the year of the "cold offer." You better stand out among your peers. Nuff said.

3:30 -

Good to hear from some like-minded people. I did not go to GW to work with those decidedly unprestigious Emory students.

Perhaps the most enduring signal you can leave this summer is your business card. In the week or so between the end of your summer and the hiring decision, you'll be partying with prostitutes in Brazil and your business card will be the next-best way for the hiring committee to remember you. You want to aim for just under equity partner level cards, but right above senior associate level cards. Definitely include your law school, college honors, eating clubs, and, if space allows, your LSAT score.

3:18, I think the advice is the same for "top legal talent." ~ 2:12

Let's see:

1. Bring kneepads;

2. Smile;

3. Bend down and pick up that pencil, I know you like it. . .

Just to be ready for any late nights...how do I find out what the firm's after hours internet porn policy is?

3 words: Top Legal Talent.

2:56 - "GULP"

That is the sound of you buying "Hofstra Magna's" troll hook-line-and-sinker.

Who is the idiot now?

3:33 - Right - no one will be impressed, because no one else will be in the office yet.

Most important advice for SA's:
When at a large dinner table with partners, always remember that YOUR bread plate is on the left, and YOUR water glass is on the right.

East way to remember?
Make a circle with with your left thumb and index fingers so that you can look down and see through. Extend the rest of the fingers straight out. It should look like a lower-case "b". Do the same for the right hand and it makes a lower-case "d".

left b = bread
right d = drink

You'll never grab someone else's drink again. Good luck and have a blast!

3:24 pm: What you meant to say is my "Daddy" paid for my law school and undergrad, therefore I have minimal debt, and can afford to take a public interest job. Don't get on your high-and-mighty horse and preach to people who who may have to bow to the all-mighty dollar to take care of their families and themselves.

I second 3:01's advice and would add that it is important to respond to emails inviting you to events, lunches, etc. I would have thought that this was a no-brainer, but last summer, we had a summer associate who failed to respond to several social/invitation emails from both associates and partners. Because this summer associate also complained a lot , was considered fairly high maintenance, and didn't do particularly impressive work, he was not very popular and there were some people practically gunning for him to get no-offered. So, in case this is not already clear to anyone, it is common courtesy to acknowledge, either verbally or via email, an email invitation or a personally drafted "hello" email from an attorney at the firm where you are a summer associate.

I have been surprised over the past couple of years at how many summer associates think it is appropriate to cut corners on projects, such as attempting to hand in a stack of cases in as work product without any accompanying legal analysis, or to just whine and complain excessively about everything. A couple of years ago, I witnessed a summer associate respond with a negative answer to every question the summer associate was asked by a partner.

Exs:

Q: How did you like going to x college?
A: It sucked.

Q: How do you like living in x?
A: It's boring.

Q: Are you splitting your summer?
A: No, thanks to this firm's policy on splitting, I couldn't do the internship I really wanted to do.

I certainly don't think that all summer associates are like this, but although you really do have to screw up big time to get no-offered at most firms, I wouldn't chance it given the current economy. Start working on pretending to care about things, even if you don't. It will be great practice for a permanent job at a law firm.

The advice on this thread is generally very good. I'm impressed.

I would like to highlight a few of the non-obvious points:

(1) Socialize with attorneys at events (i.e. don't stand in groups of all summers). We can be a pretty shy/awkward bunch (and many of us acutally realize it), so coming up to us scores big points, and there's a chance we'll actually remember who you are when it comes to review time.

(2) Regarding dating/sleeping with associates (this seems to be especially popular with female summers and male juniors and mids, at least from what I've seen), it happens everywhere. I've personally seen two divorces come out of it. I'm not saying absolutely don't do it, but think really, really hard about it; it could jeopardize two careers.

(3) 9:30 a.m. will not impress anyone at my firm. You'd better be in by 9:00 a.m., and 8:30 a.m. would be better. I hate it just as much as you do, but you don't want senior people looking for you and your lights to be off. Suck it up and set your alarm 30 minutes earlier and then make up for it on the weekends. (As a side note, I've found that laying my clothes out the night before saves a huge amount of time: Prep the coffee maker, make sure towels and toiletries are ready to go, have clothes ready, have your purse/briefcase ready with keys, cash, access card, etc. This can save you 10 or 15 minutes in the morning.).

Good luck. (Unfortunately this summer you're going to need it most places.)

re: HofstraMagna's Trollish tendencies

I bought it too until I read some of his other posts. because there really are people just like that.

4:00 - that's embarassingly good advice.

Great piece of advice:

Don't call a woman a fat b*tch at a work function thus provoking her to punch you in the face.

I know its not intuitive but do your best to refrain from such conduct - unfortunately some morons find this out the hard way and get no-offered.

This seems like a good time to request an Aquagirl update.

Very truly yours,

I [heart] Aquagirl

Learn to dress.

Here is a practical piece of advice for summers (as well as practitioners) with respect to email. For anything other than the most di minimis email to a close friend (which when using firm email you should still be careful with), ALWAYS write out an email, double-check it, THEN address it as the last step. There is nothing more fear-inducing than accidently sending an incomplete--or non spell-checked, etc.--email to partners, clients, supervisors, etc.

As a corollary, most computers using Word and Outlook have Alt+S as the shortcut for the "section" squiggle. When tapping out emails citing statutes, beware of using this shortcut--it does *not* put a section squiggle, but instead SENDS the email as is. Thus, if you don't address the email until it is ready to send, you will not screw yourself.

Also, especially as a summer, before replying all to an email, you may want to hit reply all, then DELETE all the addressees, compose your answer, and then manually put the names back in. Will that take more time? Yes. But an incomplete/inappropriate email lives forever, and can be forwarded to the hiring partner, etc.

The best and most useful advice is provided by 2:08. I would disregard c) though . . . the alcohol is free and always there for a reason, and it's not to stop after two. Just don't drink to get absolutely shit-canned.

Agree with 4:04(2): DEFINITELY reply to your "welcome to the firm" email. Someone spent 15 minutes writing that piece of shit (okay, maybe a few years ago for someone else initially, but still...). Start things off on the right foot, even if it's just:

"Hello! Thanks for taking the time to email. I don't have any questions right now, but I appreciate your offer. I look forward to meeting you in a few weeks."

And would my paired summer associate please copy the above and reply to me? You're already in the hole, unfortunately.

Another somewhat elated point, why don't more people send thank-you emails after interviews? That's the goddamn reason we give you our business cards, and why you get your schedule for the day. It's effortless and much appreciated. I know some people don't care, but there are those who do. You know, if I spend 2 hours taking you to lunch, which means that I'll miss Seinfeld reruns tonight, the least you can do is say "thank you." I'll bet less than 20% of interviewees do this, which blows my mind.

4:04 made me laugh. Let's not treat SAs like retards.

"Make sure you wipe your ass from front to back. NEVER back to front." "Put on pants. Don't go to the office without shoes."

LOL at the poorly credentialed students who think they're on par with top legal talent in the eyes of BIGLAW. Newsflash -- we (TLT) don't have to do the same things you do to get an offer.

We can hand in a stack of cases instead of an "analysis" memo. We can skip events that sound lame. We can talk down to support staff. In the end, we'll be the first offers given.

It's a job interview, not a pleasure cruise. Act and dress appropriately.

-- Devil in Disguise

If, as an attractive female summer associate with golden rippled abs and a shaved mons, you ever find yourself lounging naked in the Gold Coast apartment of a particularly dapper junior partner after a debauched Thursday afternoon tryst fueled by one too many margaritas at Frontera, please, oh please, whetever you do, no matter how clever you think it is, no matter how comfortable you feel while basking in your post-coital nimbus, don't answer the fucking phone. It's my fiance. Thanks in advance.

4:14-1 has excellent advice. I follow it myself (it only takes one rogue email to learn).

Gold Coast = Edgewater or some other shitty part of NJ. Loser.

How can I get an apprenticeship with "ZARB"?

2:16:
"Like other prublic interest attorneys actually doing something productive with our lives, I had numerous offers from these wonderful big firms. Shockingly, I didn't take one. Wow. I know it's a difficult, unamerican concept to grasp--Making a career decision on something other than money."

If you believe that you chose to do something that is in the "public interest" rather than make money, then you are sorely mistaken about the nature of both the public's interest and money.

4:18(1), Happy to have made you laugh and glad that you know better, unfortunately many don't (especially if this is their first job and first time they've worn anything other than North Face and yoga pants for the past 6 years while they struggle to be on time to their "early" class at 10 a.m.). I was one of them and was offering some tips I've found useful.

Is there any way to get around wearing socks to work? I really hate wearing socks. I did not go to a top law school to have to wear socks and talk to people who did not go to a top law school.

Also, do I have to take my I-Pod headphones off when speaking to all attorneys or only the ones who attended schools which make me feel warm and fuzzy?

Err on the side of taking less work and doing a stellar job on each assignment, rather than taking more work and doing a shitty job because you're in over your head. No one aside from the recruiting person will know that you're doing a ton of assignments at once, so it's not like you'll get props for it from anyone who matters. But everyone *will* know if you turn something in late or really screw something up, which can easily happen if you take on a ton of work.

If someone isn't willing to come up with the money to pay for it, then it shouldn't get done.

@4:14(1) - Paranoid much?

Of course, having said that, my last name is not a common word, nor is it in spellcheck (intentionally not added to my dictionary), so spellcheck always "catches" my last name in my signature as my failsafe against accidental send.

For the "section" squiggle, in Outlook, etc - hold down the ALT key, and type "0167" on the number pad (Numlock must be on). Viola! Instant section symbol. It works in Word too, but isn't needed because of Alt-S as you noted.

Don't make out at firm events.

Advice for women: Don't try to be more fashionable than everyone around you. If you look like you spend more time shopping and worrying about being trendy than anyone else at the firm, no one will take you seriously. Get a normal haircut, sensible shoes, and clothes which don't show off your bust line.

Women make good summers but terrible lawyers.

4:24, I think 4:21(1) was referring to Chicago. But, he is douche (and a liar). We all know junior partners are balding, at least 10-15 pounds overweight and usually unhappily married with the three kids who handcuffed them to the firm in the first place. If they are not, it means no woman can stand to be around the bastard for more than 10 minutes at a time.

Ignore 4:38pm. Showing off the bust line is always encouraged unless the hiring partner is a woman. Absent a woman hiring partner, the remaining men on the hiring committee will assure you get hired.

4:14(1) -- That's no joke, the same thing happened to me.

4:31---work for Quinn Emanuel--sandals and shorts are expected

Watch out for food particles in your mustache. Nothing says "Utica rube" like a mustachio full of cheese.