i just graduated from a t14. can i get a paralegal job if i want one?

seriously? wtf.

If im not mentioned as one of the top 10 paralegals in the country ill just die.

Ummm...even us paralegals find this embarassing. But, I can tell you that the LAW (Leage of Angry Women)--you know the type--the overweight, bitter, busybody, I'm really important--paralegal type. They'll be ALL over this.

There are LOTS and LOTS of paralegals that take their jobs way too seriously and confuse being a paralegal with a career. It's a DEAD-END JOB PEOPLE. That's why people either collect their six-figure paychecks as senior paralegals and shut up about the petty slights of being a third class citizen (Partners, associates, paralegals) or get the heck out!

The fools who stay WILL read this.

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below.

Descending a bit more he shouted, "Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I do not know where I am."

The woman replied, "You're in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40/41 degrees latitude, north, and 59/60 degrees west, longitude."

"You must be a paralegal" said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information and the fact is, I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all, if anything, you have delayed my trip."

The woman below responded, "You must be "attorney". "I am," replied the balloonist, "How did you know?"

"Well," replied the woman, "You don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problem. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now - -somehow -- it is my fault."

12:40 - That's awesome. Where did you get that?

The cover is the BEST! I imagine the following dialouge: (3 people in background are attorneys)

atty1: Boy, she really thinks she's important, must be that new subscription to KNOW.

atty2: Yeah, KNOW seems to have given her somereal confidence.

atty3: Yeah it's given her confidence. So much so, in fact, she doesn't realize she's part of a loser profession.

Paralegal: Man I am important! I can't wait for next months issue.

I'm so glad to hear it is an "outside-the-box" magazine. I hate those pesky "inside-the-box" magazines.

"Diversity's Little Secret: Are Caucasian Paralegals Doing Enough to Support African-American Paralegals? "

Aw heeeelllllll naw!

Life beyond Paralegaling: Turning that Senior Partner's "Stain" into a Multi-Million Dollar Child Support Settlement

12:46, I bet it's more like

atty1 atty2 and atty3: I KNOW I'd hit it.

12:49 - AWESOME! Much better than mine. And, it's a pun!

re 12:40 - isn't it interesting how paralegals think they're so much smarter than attorneys, yet they're the ones who chose a position where they earn maybe 50% of a first year lawyer's salary? Perhaps if they applied their smarts and intelligence to life decisions they wouldn't in a dead-end career making crap money while listening to instructions from bosses half their age.

I think this is my favorite graphic on the site: http://www.knowparalegal.com/order.JPG

1:01 -- Excellent observations (did you notice the bit about attorneys in 12:40's post?) and blanket generalizations.

From a paralegal in a biglaw firm headed to law school next year -- bright paralegals are very aware that they're doing sh** work. What's really astounding is that many *ostensibly* bright young attorneys like you don't realize you're doing sh** work on another level.

Now go apply your "smarts and intelligence" back to the instructions that partner twice your age gave you.

Absolutely hilarious. Reminds me of magazines of the same ilk aimed at HR "managers" (aka pre-filled form distributors), facilities grunts and such.

I've never quite understood the rationale of a paralegal after say age 25. Sure, the lure of the money and "prestige" might have been attractive as a post-teen, but after a year of that grind, you'd think they'd smarten up and see the writing on the wall.

The sad thing is that my entry level techs at the Help Desk are starting at more than they make.

Well, first off.....after being a paralegal for 22 years, I've seen magazines come and go. They were only helpful in the beginning of my career. And, some paralegals earn 6 figure salaries, are not making binders and have a staff of assistants to help them. Oh, and no law school debt.

And are caucasion paralegals helping non caucasions, no and to be quite honest, why would they have to? I'm Black, my first firm was lilly white in Texas and I had NO ONE to help me. No mentor, no diversity committee, no black attorneys, just my black bottom and I came out ok. Do, I help other blacks.....sure, if I could only find one.....

* Treasures of Seamless Web: Where To Order Your Dinner Tonight

1:16: you must work at a TTT firm for that to be the case.

Is this porn? If not, this was a waste of time/space.

1:15

It's kind of weird that you're tooling on what attorneys do when you're heading to law school next year. Kind of takes some of the bite out of your post and makes me think you're going to be a crappy law student.

Does the list of the 10 most influential paralegals include paralegals who have gone onto start law firms? It is my understanding that Herbert Wachtell and Martin Lipton founded Wachtell Lipton as a paralegal firm prior to going to law school. Paralegals and legal assistants are the profit centers of most law firms. They knew that and by focusing on building up a robust paralegal/legal assistant group, they have turned Wachtell Lipton into the gold standard in terms of profitability.

Profits Per Paralegal (PPP) is the best measure of a firm's profitability, and it is my understanding that Wachtell Lipton's PPP exceeds $10 million. Rumor has it that other shops are classifying paralegals into two tiers in order to juice up their PPP, but Wachtell Lipton has not done that, they remain true to their roots.

Does anyone know if someone who graduated Magna from Hofstra would be competitive for a summer paralegal program at a V10 Firm?

"Diversity's Little Secret: Are Caucasian Paralegals Doing Enough to Support African-American Paralegals? "

Huh? I thought the secret was that powerbrokers in biglaw were innately racist.

Is it just my observation, or are white liberals just making things even more difficult for my people?

We are now asking white paralegals to "support" black paralegals. The artificial diversity mumbo jumbo must stop.

We had a paralegal who couldn't get from midtown to the Bankruptcy Court down at Bowling Green. Do you think this magazine would help?

Advantages to being a paralegal over an attorney:

1. No Law School debt.
2. We never get chewed out by a Judge in open court.
3. No bar exam.
4. Most of us go home at 5:00 every day and have ALL WEEKEND to ourselves.
5. We know how to use a photocopier.

Disadvantages to being a paralegal:

1. S--t rolls downhill.
2. $60k is a good salary.
3. Attorneys know that we know how to use a photocopier.
4. Three (four?) words: LexisNexis File & Serve
5. Clerks' offices. We deal with them, you don't.

Advantages to being a paralegal over an attorney:

1. No Law School debt.
2. We never get chewed out by a Judge in open court.
3. No bar exam.
4. Most of us go home at 5:00 every day and have ALL WEEKEND to ourselves.
5. We know how to use a photocopier.

Disadvantages to being a paralegal:

1. S--t rolls downhill.
2. $60k is a good salary.
3. Attorneys know that we know how to use a photocopier.
4. Three (four?) words: LexisNexis File & Serve
5. Clerks' offices. We deal with them, you don't.

Hofstramagna -

Actually, the truer number to measure a firm's profitability is revenue per lawyer (RPL). The PPP is too easy to fudge with many firms having multi tiered partnerships. Also, Wachtel is the gold standard but the PPP is more like 3 M+, not 10.

For something that claims to be "outside of the box," KNOW seems pretty insipid to me.

4:40 - you don't know what you are talking about. PPP is the profits of the firm divided by the number of paralegals. Some firms have gone to a two tier system of junior and senior paralegals and then they only include the senior paralegals in the PPP calculation. Wachtell's PPP is rumored to be around $10 million (and they only have 1 tier), as you take the aggregate profit and divide it by the number of paralegals. They staff deals thinly with paralegals and work them really hard, that's why they make so much money.

My cousin was a paralegal at the top firm in Jersey, so I know a thing or two about the life of a paralegal, unlike you.

HofstraMagna - this is 4:40 here. I was trying to be nice to you and be informative, but you are showing the same. tool-ie behavior that gets you picked on all the time.
Wait - maybe are you kidding around? The is NO WAY that you can possibly think PPP stands for Profit Per Paralegal!??? It is Profits Per PARTNER.
But then again, your cousin was a para at a top jersey firm, AND you graduated Magna from the illustrious Hofstra, so you must be in the know.

4:40 (aka 4:58) - You've been very seriously had by a Hofstra magna. Your response was the best laugh I've had in weeks. Thanks HM.

4:40 - you don't know what you are talking about. PPP is the profits of the firm divided by the number of paralegals. Some firms have gone to a two tier system of junior and senior paralegals and then they only include the senior paralegals in the PPP calculation. Wachtell's PPP is rumored to be around $10 million (and they only have 1 tier), as you take the aggregate profit and divide it by the number of paralegals. They staff deals thinly with paralegals and work them really hard, that's why they make so much money.

My cousin was a paralegal at the top firm on the Island, so I know a thing or two about the life of a paralegal, unlike you.

As a biglaw former paralegal/current summer associate, it both amuses me and makes me ill to see how much attorneys who are so self-important find time to (and bask in) trashing on subordinates. This website must have the highest rate of suicides per viewer out there.

As a biglaw former paralegal/current summer associate, it both amuses me and makes me ill to see how much attorneys who are so self-important find time to (and bask in) trashing on subordinates. This website must have the highest rate of suicides per viewer out there.

As a biglaw former paralegal/current summer associate, it both amuses me and makes me ill to see how much attorneys who are so self-important find time to (and bask in) trashing on subordinates. This website must have the highest rate of suicides per viewer out there.

oh, ouch. trying to make a 'holier than thou' comment and you went and posted it three times. twice is understandable, because the comment board sucks, but three times?! geezo. maybe you should've stuck with the paralegal gig.

"Learn from other paralegals how they found out that even billing 2,000 hours a year, they were not going to be awarded a partnership status"

What?!

Is this a joke? Next we'll have a magazine for secretaries.

Oh, just wait, 10:56, after that there will be a print edition magazine for professional bloggers.

HofstraMagma,

People on this site are stupid - except for you. They do not recognize the value of the "Triple H".

I believe in you -- if you were a stock, I would purchase you. Anyone smart enough to graduate MAGNA from a fine institution like Hofstra, and get into Zarb immediately thereafter, has a very bright future ahead of himself.

One word of advice. Don't listen to the haters. They probably went to TTT schools like Rutgers, or Fordham, or Seaton Hall, or Cardozo. They couldn't get into one of the T4 business schools (Zarb, Wharton, Harvard, Chicago), and they probably live in a flyover state like Jersey. Stand tall! Stand proud! You are a Hofstra Law School graduate, magna cum laude, and you absolutely are qualified to dip into the paralegal pool at Wachtell Lipton Rosen & Katz!

Many a great Hofstra graduate (including WLRK's Herb and Marty) have attempted to bolster their marketability by applying to Zarb. They each started as paralegals, until they drank the kool aid and left paralegal paradise to join the partnership -- if they only knew back in the 80s what Wachtell's Per Paralegal Profits would be today -- I guarentee you they would have followed their guts -- to Zarb and back to the paralegal pool.

Go Jets!

HofstraMagma,

People on this site are stupid - except for you. They do not recognize the value of the "Triple H".

I believe in you -- if you were a stock, I would purchase you. Anyone smart enough to graduate MAGNA from a fine institution like Hofstra, and get into Zarb immediately thereafter, has a very bright future ahead of himself.

One word of advice. Don't listen to the haters. They probably went to TTT schools like Rutgers, or Fordham, or Seaton Hall, or Cardozo. They couldn't get into one of the T4 business schools (Zarb, Wharton, Harvard, Chicago), and they probably live in a flyover state like Jersey. Stand tall! Stand proud! You are a Hofstra Law School graduate, magna cum laude, and you absolutely are qualified to dip into the paralegal pool at Wachtell Lipton Rosen & Katz!

Many a great Hofstra graduate (including WLRK's Herb and Marty) have attempted to bolster their marketability by applying to Zarb. They each started as paralegals, until they drank the kool aid and left paralegal paradise to join the partnership -- if they only knew back in the 80s what Wachtell's Per Paralegal Profits would be today -- I guarentee you they would have followed their guts -- to Zarb and back to the paralegal pool.

Go Jets!

Hofstra / 9:23 / 9:24 --

Why get a law degree and then become a paralegal? I'm not knocking on the paralegal profession -- I couldn't do my job effectively without support staff -- but you simply shouldn't waste time/money in law school studying to be a lawyer if you aspire to become a paralegal. I understand your arguments regarding per paralegal profits, and we all know that firm profitability is measured by the "Big PPP" and that law firms can't attract top legal talent without high PPP -- but why go to law school and waste 3 years of your life studying to be a lawyer when you could be making mad bank during those 3 yrs as a paralegal?

Cravath pays first year paralegals 90k. By third year, paralegals make 135k. By the time paralegals are up for Tier 2 (what we call "Senior Paralegals" -- equal in competativeness / prestige as "partnership"), they are hitting the PPPs and making mad loot. And so I agree with the two of you that aspiring to tap into a good firm's per paralegal profits is a good idea, I just don't think that you should waste time in law school doing so.

Lawyer (Cravath) and Aspiring Paralegal,
XXX

interesting -- ZARB was voted best business school by USNWR. i was considering going to Wharton and then becoming an I-banker, this is great to know. thanks, hofstramagna!

http://grad-schools.usnews.rankingsandreviews.com/grad/mba/items/01151

As a paralegal working for a small insurance defense firm (only 3 paralegals, and 20 some-odd attys), I work mainly for the senior partner, and do much of the same work as the associates. Sure, for less pay, but the fact that I don't have any law school loans to pay off makes up for the lesser pay.

There are partners in my firm that are still paying off their student loans with payments the size of a mortgage.

4:40 - There already is such a magazine:

http://www.bloggerandpodcaster.com/

So far only saw two typos in the web site. Audience was spelled wrong and they used incorrect Premiere

I've been a para since graduating from university. Although I like working in the legal profession and I like two of the three jobs I held, there are some things I cannot stomach in handling that attorneys have to put up with as part of their job. But, do I think there are some things that could be better delagated to paras instead of attorneys to save costs *and* time (i.e: contracts, some discovery, completing and filing forms and form-agreements)? Absolutely! However to those "professional paras who think they are on the same line as attorneys and could do the job better, get a reality check. Most of these career paras w/the attitude have to realize that being a para is a *support* role and nothing more.

1:28 You go girl! Now when you hit 25 years and are ready for early retirement if you write a book about how you did it, you'll make a fortune and be on "the circuit" of diversity committee presenters for firms accross the country.

Paralegal are people who work for Paranoids, better know as lawyers.

Paralegals are people who work for Paranoids, better know as lawyers.

Well...Has anyone actually seen this thing yet?

Got it! Hated it!! Full of grammatical errors.

A lot of lawyers deserve all the bull#$%it that comes their way, including the bad public image. So what, you make six figs. A lot of people make sig figs. Most of the male lawyers are pus&&%^ies, and most of the female lawyers are hoping that the $$$ they earn will make them desirable and bring them some respect. So, what can an attorney do now that his/her law firm has shown him/her the door? A) Lose the attitude B) Get used to earning a hell of a lot less than six figs for the next 18+ months C) Work on your karma D) Figure out how to pay back that big ass school loan E) Stop reading ATL and look for a job F) Don't be a puss$% and love yourself.

Go!