I'm sorry I couldn't get you that partial birth abortion, looks like you're going to have to carry this on your own.

"You're leaning too far to the right."

"He's gonna be a soccer player, yes he is!"

"Oh man, Judge Haverson just sat on my face."

"Just a minute madame, those shoes are going to have to come off before you go through the metal detector."

"Not so fast, Bush isn't out of office just yet."

"In front of every strong woman there is a stronger man."

Wow, that's some kick! I'm guessing it'll be a boy. Boy-statue. Whatever.

Just another feeble attempt to put an end to a game of "pin the tail on the SC Justice."

Miscarriage of Justice?

"Sorry, hammer toes are not allowed."

"One more push and we'll have room for that ten commandments statue..."

"Lady Justice, I sued my drycleaner for $5M and lost. What should I do now?"

BigLaw Partner pays homage to "Vengeful Woman With Scrapped Uterus"

"Lady Justice has a secret."

The scene shot for the movie version of the Broadway show "Thurgood" was ruined by an anachronistic water bottle.

Wow, you've got rock hard abs!

After a long trial on reproductive rights, the losing attorney in the case says, "So that's where baby's come from?"

Her feet are much bigger than mine and you know what they say about big feet...

"Clarence is apparently undeterred by Anita Hill's weathered appearance."

"I hate fupa."

Now that Obama has sealed up the nomination, can I have a pony?

It's about time somebody pushed back against Justice.

Dear heavenly father, we ask that you show us the way to get this statue-baby out of this iron maiden.

After being screwed so much by the Bush administration, a doctor confirms that Lady Justice has become pregnant.

I'd look better in that dress than that New Hampshire Judge did.

When the special master was asked to evaluate the bust, this isn't exactly what the court intended.

11:59--winner. game over.

Justice Thomas takes a moment to divine some inspiration. No good.

Statue of Limitations.

By the Power of Greyskull

Walter had succeeded with more than his share of "iron boxes," but stood dejected as he conceeded that his latest attempt was ambitious even for someone with his superior charms.

$#@!! Never should have tried to get my hand up her skirt . . . now it's stuck.

"I'm just going to move my hand up slowly, and you let me know if you start to feel uncomfortable."

By the Power of Greyskull

11:17. 11:17. Why can't I get that time out of my head?

Socially awkward lawyer will now tell his colleagues that got to third base.

Not content that Justice is blind, Republican lawmakers believe she should be barefoot and pregnant as well.

"Why did I have to look under her iron skirt? And why didn't anyone tell me she had an iron schlong?"

Please, Lady Justice, let the dry cleaner's find my pants this time.

(That is the guy with the zillion dollar pants, right?)

Frustrated by the failure of his 1L students to grasp simple legal terminology, UPennSt. law professor Hubert Farnsworth tries one last time to explain the difference between a statute and a statue.

A bush in the hand is worth... damn... how's that saying go?

I'd say 2, maybe 3.

12:09 - awesome

12:09 - awesome

Justice is blind, and that guy's too touchy-feely.

Says Clarence Thomas to Lady Justice near the entrance to the U.S. Supreme Court: "You shall not pass!"

There is definately something wrong with our justice system, but I can't put my finger on it.

Insurance company adjuster insists that the bus is simply not crowded and quiet today.

"I don't care who you are, nobody gets into this building with a headscarf."

Upholding justice, literally...

"I'm pretty sure this is going to make me even more famous than Phil Telfeyan and HIS statue!"

Give it a rest. Nobody's falling for that anymore.

Whoa whoa whoa, where do you think you're going? There's no justice allowed in here.

I'm sorry, but Paul Hastings isn't hiring right now.

I suggested 12:16, but looking that the others, plainly no one's going to suggest anything close to as good as 11:59. It really does sum up years of misuse by the Bush administration. Lat, why not just declare the winner?

"I knows I can gets dem bolts off da ground, but can I really haul this here lady statchoo to da scrap man? Bitch be heavy!"

Thank God she's blind. I'm getting lucky tonight.

Help me, Lady Justice. You're my only hope.

In re John and Lorena Bobbit

Congratulations ma'am, it's a Cravath associate.

I'm going to need to see some ID.

11:59 gets my vote.

No Justice Thomas, that is not a pubic hair on my skirt

Off with his head.

Roy Pearson consoles Lady Justice after those evil dry cleaners lost her blanket, a gift from John Ashcroft.

"Thankfully you are blind and cannot give my description to authorities. Feels good!"

"Justice Thomas solemnly prays for Lady Justice to bestow upon him the gift of speech at oral argument."

"Justice Thomas solemnly prays for Lady Justice to bestow upon him the gift of speech at oral argument."

"I can feel the pain in your womb."

"I think he's gonna be a socca playa!"

I'm sorry, but you get one swing at the pinata like everyone else.

Senior Moment: If I circle this building one more time I swear I'm going to faint.

An embarrassing moment for R. Kelly's defense lawyer outside the courtroom as he was caught attempting to manhandle justice.

A dejected John comes to grips with the fact that no one will greenlight his Titanic-meets-Mannequin screenplay.

An embarrassing moment for R. Kelly's defense lawyer outside the courtroom as he was caught attempting to manhandle justice.

Roy Pearson was devastated to learn that his bowtie lawsuit would also be doomed.

Cravath Associates = insecure trolls.

ok - she's blind. Let's see if she's also shaven...

Definitely 11:59

I know they say justice is blind but you really need to see the evidence to make a decision.

"I dub thee 'Sir Frat Stud.'"

"I suggested 12:16, but looking that the others, plainly no one's going to suggest anything close to as good as 11:59. It really does sum up years of misuse by the Bush administration. Lat, why not just declare the winner?"

Because its not funny. The contest is for the funniest caption, not the most best critique of the Bush administration.
Now 12:16(1) is actually funny: "I don't care who you are, nobody gets into this building with a headscarf."

11:59 wins

I happen to be blind as well, idiot. IThat's no excuse.

I happen to be blind as well, idiot. That's no excuse.

I'm sorry, but as the hiring partner at Paul Hastings, I have to check.

12:56 - it is from being pwned by firms that they really want to believe are inferior.

Or, maybe because they know the'll never make partner there, they try to feel like big shots even though they are just associates.

Whatever the reason, it is very telling that Cravath associates feel the need to pump up their their egos by posting self-aggrandizing, un-funny comments on a legal tabloid. Sad little associates.

Nice Blahniks.

When I said "screw justice!" during deliberations last month, I will admit I had not considered the issue of child support.

"How dare you stop short with my wife?!"

1:07 (1) > 11:59

Not so fast... I'm going to need for your to put your shoes on the conveyor belt.

Get in my belly!

No shirt, no shoes, no service!

Yes, Mistress Justice, I will submit. But please, PLEASE, can we wait until we get back to your dungeon, Mistress? We're in public...

Woah, now, haven't you heard -- 2008 is the year of the black man!

It IS commando adventure day for Lady Justice after all!

Having realized the mistake of trying to wipe the Crazy Glue off of his hand onto Lady Justice, Mr. Smith bows his head in shame.

Does the rug match the carpet?

Bad economies always bring longer hemlines, and the fall 2008 line at Victoria's Secret is no exception.

"Immediately prior to what was to be his first, and last, appearance in the un-air-conditioned Moultrie Courthouse of the Superior Court of the District of Columbia, James Cyrus Evans, Sr., indulges in a much deserved a moment of silence."

Proof that one man CAN stand against justice.

The DC Circuit just ruled in our favor. We will soon be able to use paper money without needing everything to be in singles.

Proof that one man CAN stand against justice.

The Antiques Road Show's shuttle bus never did show up.

11:59 *is* funny. Besides being true. Lat, I will never read this site again if you overlook it and try to be politically correct.

Justice Thomas does his best Patrick Swayze: Fail.

Fred knew his World of Warcraft habit was geting out of hand.

Hey! Touch my pregnant belly again and I'll cut of your --

11:53 gets my vote -

"The scene shot for the movie version of the Broadway show "Thurgood" was ruined by an anachronistic water bottle."

hilarious

"Get out, and take Peace with you."

"I felt a kick!"

11:59 is the funniest BY FAR!

We have a winnnnnner

11:59 and 1:07(1) are tied.

I cast you out Unclean Spirit! And take Bush with you!

11:51 gets my vote.

Herman realized with some regret that this was as close as he would ever come to touching human genitalia other than his own.

Stop in the name of love!

"Now 12:16(1) is actually funny: "I don't care who you are, nobody gets into this building with a headscarf.""

...that's not funny at all.

Justice? I thought you said touch this!

Brown v Bd of Ed or Roe v. Wade.

Hold on there Miss, you can't come in here dressed like that. You need to cover up more.

Yep, you're pregnant. I guess you didn't see who the father was?

Best so far:
11:46, 11:59; 12:05; 12:09(5); 12:13(1) and (2).

"my fish can swin!"

"my fish can swim!"

Apparently this guy did not learn anything from John and Lorena Bobbitt.............no means no!

"DONT GIVE ME THAT BLIND CRAP ! Is the Rogane working or not ?"

Totally irrelevant to the contest/humor, but I think this photo was taken on the plaza outside the federal courthouse in Shreveport.

"Should I check for an inscription on Lady Justice's ass before I write my note for Harvard Law Review? Nah."

"I can't believe you ate the whole thing"

(Scalia on cell phone):
No... No, just look out the window. No, it wasn't a bet, I just told him to... I just wanted to see how far he'd go; I didn't think he'd actually do it!

I put my hand upon your hip first I dip, you dip, we dip....

Lady Justice...please forgive them for they have sinned.

Stop right there lady justice... this is a secret court.

Oh Lady Justice, I lay the healing hands upon thee, and pray that the scourge of conservative infiltration of your noble Department end forthwith, and ye return to your natural state of liberal advocacy by a horde of leftist career DOJ attorneys unsullied by conservative political appointees attempting to implement the will of the people. Be healed!

Really? Alberto? You got with Alberto G? Jesus! I mean I kinda always knew you'd end up blindfolded and pregnant after that party, but Gonzalez? How drunk were you?

Really? Alberto? You got with Alberto G? Jesus! I mean I kinda always knew you'd end up blindfolded and pregnant after that party, but Gonzalez? How drunk were you?

Impregnating Lady Justice was Rev. Sharpton's last effort to ensure that minorities finally get equal treatment by the legal system.

Best so far:
11:43, 11:53, 12:09(3), 12:16(a), 12:50(1), 1:07(1), 1:46, 2:31

"Stop right there," said Justice Thomas, "You ain't comin' nowhere near MY courtroom."

"Stop right there," said Justice Thomas, "You ain't comin' nowhere near MY courtroom."

"This statue is as leaden as the jokes in some of the comments posted on ATL."

2:45 should get in the poll too.

I don't say "with Liberty and Justice for all," I say "god damn Justice"!

Is that a quarter?

Don't worry lady Justice, guys in my high school used to flit around in dresses with wings, scales, and swords all the time, it was no big deal.
- Frat Statue

I commented shortly after 11:59, and said there's no point to continuing the contest.

Just skimmed everything since then Nothing's even close to 11:59. Really, the politics has nothing to do with it; it's just damn funny.

11:59 = Cravath Associate?

Lord help us, I think it's Cheney's.

"Hmm....let's see if this statue of Lady Justice crumbles when touched by a black man just like real justice does so in real life when a black man is involved. Art does imitate life after all."

11:59 is not grammatical:
"After being screwed so much by the Bush administration, a doctor confirms that Lady Justice has become pregnant."

The participial phrase ("After being screwed so much...") refers to "a doctor," not Lady Justice.

Better:
A doctor confirms that Lady Justice has become pregnant after being screwed so much by the Bush administration."
The revised version also has the advantage of saving the "punch line" of the joke for the end.

Dispirited after a day in court, this lawyer realizes only too late that flesh sticks to metal at 20 degrees Fahrenheit.

Lady Justice mutters "don't mess with Texas" as she prepares to lop off a litigant's head.

On advice from his lawyer, Dilbert came to court to find justice.

On advice from his lawyer, Dilbert came to court to find justice.

Lady Justice captured in full backswing gives Representative Conyers the ‘what for’ after he desserts Hillary.

Lady Justice opens up a can of whoop ass.

3:29,
Really, the "iron schlong" bit (12:09(3)) made you laugh?

Marie? For Christ sake get down—people are watching!

3:54 said:

"there's no point to continuing the contest."

Spoken like a true Obama supporter.

Attempted statutory rape.

Life size LADY JUSTICE WINE CADDY (shown) (wine bottles drop out the bottom). Sharper Image, $13,567.

I WAS A REBOUND FROM LADY LIBERTY!!?? that french slut.- get your hands off me, I'm gonna cut her f#*$^ing head off!

The ultimate in lawyers' wedding gown accessories.

That's correct maam, even you're not allowed in the grand jury room.

That's correct maam, even you're not allowed in the grand jury room.

The bitch cut me.

Dejected once again that he didn't reach the "you must be this tall to litigate" threshold, Morton prepares to return to his office.

Totally irrelevant to the contest/humor, but I think this photo was taken in the parking lot outside the Piggly Wiggly in Des Moines.

Base!

Justice never felt so good

Sorry 4:28(2), i meant 12:09(5) The one about the 1Ls

Sorry 4:28(2), i meant 12:09(5) The one about the 1Ls

"Hmmm, I don't feel anything. Good tuck-job maybe? Now, how does it go? Check the hands or the feet?"

"Listen lady, you're going to have to leave that sword in your vehicle, or place it one of our coin-op lockers in the lobby."

2:45 is chuckle funny 4:36 is great.
11:59 is SO not funny - but very politically correct in this current political climate.

Crippled by crushing student loan debt, NYLS '07 graduate Frank Whitmore engages in street performance art between Doc Review gigs. Here he demonstrates his interpretation of the classic "disillusioned misanthrope trapped in an invisible box" routine.

Johnny-come-latelys 4:55 ("this tall") and 5:08 ("Base!") are clever.

Having failed to read the statue's name and description (clearly engraved on the side), Harvard Law Professor Reginald Jackson is deeply affected by the moral significance of what he perceives to be the statue's subject - the plight of blind female mutants.

Not to be outdone by HLR, the NYU Law Review editor-in-chief seeks inspiration for a response to "Never Again Should A People Starve in a World of Plenty."

Parched and downtrodden, Chad, the weary Florida would-be voter, comes to rest on justice.

Justice Thomas tries to see what Alexyss Tylor has been talking about all this time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rr9GqQU6kgI

I'm flying, Jack!

I know I left that brief somewhere around here...

11:46 and 11:59

12:16 (first) please.
That's what she said!

Gerald began to experience a sinking feeling as he realized that God may have taken his request to turn him into a "pussy magnet" a bit too literally.

Well it ain't my baby! Damn woman, you been spending time with Scalia?

I can’t believe I told the judge she was a few fries short of a happy meal.

Bottle of water: $1.50
Poorly fitting khakis: $40.00
Justice Thomas asking his first question in ages: "Boy or Girl?"... PRICELESS (and about time)

After years of practicing law with breakneck diligence and ferocity, Curtis takes the time to pause and realizes that Lady Justice really is one giant, rock-hard bitch.

Bob knew Mr. Gonzales was going to be mad at him. He had once again utterly failed to find out what "miscarriage of justice" actually meant.

"Her feet are huge!"

Ron misinterprets his boss' direction to "get a feel for the ins and outs of the statute." Oh, what a difference a "T" makes.

Looks like a judge just convicted of racketeering and reflecting on his moronic mistakes.
http://www.shreveporttimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=200880603018

Probably already done: "Checking for miscarriages of justice"

"Tyrone's advances would be denied. Everyone knows black people can't get Justice."

I can't believe I lost to a pro per.

"Holy Mary Mother of God pray for us sinners now and ... Aw damn, that won't work!"

Stills from a traffic-light videotape capture the last moments of a subordinate drug peddler pleading that the triple beam must be off.

Hillary. It's over. Admit defeat. Move on.

Lady Justice: "Ahhh ... My Favorite ... A pinata!!!"

"Should have listened to my local counsel"

"So, are you a natural bronze?"

My favorites of the newer entires:

5:27pm, 11:47pm, 12:30am

I'm sorry, we don't permit justice in the Texas court system.

Baby mama, my foot!

Hillary, stop embarrassing yourself.

C'mon baby, she don't mean nothin' to me -- now just put down the sword...

C'mon baby, Winged Victory is just a friend -- now let's put down the sword...

Just slay me here and now... getting re-allocated from corporate to litigation was bad enough, but I can't bear to code another doc!