Judge Halverson Gets Her Day in Court
You’ve seen many — perhaps too many — still photos of embattled Nevada judge Elizabeth Halverson. Now you can watch video footage of Her Honor, arguing before the Nevada Supreme Court last Friday. As Appealing in Nevada notes, “Don’t blame Halverson’s lawyers for this one. She filed pro se.”
To put the clip in context, here’s a bit of background about the case:
Proving she still has a few tricks the sleeve of her judicial robe, Judge Elizabeth Halverson has filed a writ of mandamus with the Supreme Court of Nevada claiming she is entitled to a six year term, and should not have to run for reelection this year. Halverson claims that the additions to judicial positions for the Eighth Judicial district in 2005 in SB 195, including her own department 23, with an initial term of two years, violates Nev. Const., Article 6, § 5, setting the terms of judgeships at six years. She’s seeking to prevent the election for her seat from occurring.Clever argument, although it does kind of suggest she despairs of winning reelection fair and square.
Judge Halverson covers a number of issues in her oral argument, including the relationship between ordinary statutes and the constitution, the uses of legislative history, and severability. Our favorite part takes place at around the 1:50 mark, when Judge Halverson emphatically states, “I don’t see where the Legislature has the right to change a term in the Constitution in any way, shape or form. EV-ER.”
The end of the clip is also amusing. As the commenter who brought the video to our attention points out, “Note the sarcastic smile on [Justice William Maupin’s] face as he tells Halverson, ‘I think we understand your argument.’”
Halverson seeks to avoid standing for election [Appealing in Nevada]
Video: Judge Halverson Appears Before Nevada Supreme Court [Las Vegas Now]
Halverson argues cutting six-year court job unconstitutional [Las Vegas Review-Journal]
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Comments
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As an oral advocate, she's not half-bad. I have seen much worse.
First to say every time that blob appears in public, God kills a kitten.
I haven't looked at the issue closely, but her constitutional argument sounds plausible.
It might not get her what she wants, though:
http://www.nevadaappellatelaw.com/2008/05/articles/nevada-court-news/halverson-seeks-to-avoid-standing-for-election/
What she really wants is a turducken.
how can she be that fat? it boggles the mind.
Someone made the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man's wife a judge?
Anyone else find the title of the article "Judge Halverson Seeks to Avoid Standing for the Election" hilarious?
If she doesn't win, and provided she lives for another couple of years, the fire department will either be a) greasing her up with crisco to get her outside the house or b) knocking down a wall and renting a commercial grade crane.
When I opened the video, I got a commercial for surgical weight loss.
Hilarious.
Hell, in Nevada the courts can do anything. See, e.g., Guinn v. Legislature.
She's disrespectful of the justices at times, but she does a decent job. She's clearly a smart lady, even if she is bat-shit crazy.
C'mon Lat - that picture is hardly fair ...for the viewer.
Your honor, get in my belly!
I love when she props her T-rex arms up on her scooter.
Is that a human being or a beachball with a head and limbs?
I didn't think it was possible for her to look fatter than the earlier pictures we've seen on this site.
I was absolutely wrong.
I was about to go get some breakfast, but now, not so much... I think I'm going to be sick.
t-rex arms!!! That shit's great, 9:29
Hate to say it but I have to go with 9:03; her argument doesn't sound ridiculous.
"Bring me Solo and the Wookie. They will pay for this outrage!"
well done 9:29, well done
t-rex arms
9:54 - Awe. Some.
Her argument isn't ridiculous, but her presumed remedy is. As one of the Justices pointed out, if the statute is unconstitutional, it doesn't mean she gets six years, it probably means she wasn't a judge to begin with.
Can somebody explain to me why states elect judges???
10:01,
Two words. Ninth Circuit.
I just threw up a little bit in my mouth
One, and only one quote, befits this video:
"I wash myself with a rag on a stick."
"Judge Maupin, you weak minded fool! The Legislature is using an old Jedi mind trick."
That beast needs an antigravity harness like the Baron Vladimir Harkonnen wore in Frank Herbert's "Dune."
Judge Halverson just ate half yer son and she's still hungry.
A lady really should wear a skirt in court.
At the end of her oral argument, Jabbette yelled out "Boscka!" and slammed her meaty fist down on a button on her chair,sending her opponents to their doom in the Rancor pit. [
This judge is schuper schweet. I guess the extreme blubber in her face is causing a speech problem. Add that to the list of reasons not to become a big fat tubby blob.
She needs a hovercraft.
"How did a tank get into this courtroom??
Oh, sorry Tons Of Fun, you had me fooled there for a second."
I'd like to turn this over to my co-counselor, the Baconator.
In sum, (putative) Judge Halverson's argument is, that she wants to eat her cake and have it too (and then eat it again, and have another ...).
I really thought that the Judge did a poor job addressing any issues regarding severability and remedy.
I think she needed to address how her proposed remedy would affect the rest of the judges in the state, especially those who, like her, are serving two year terms. I don't think that, being a mandamus action, the court could order that all judges have a right to a six year term, but that would be the implication of any decision in her favor.
As far as severebility is concered, I wonder to what extent the two year provision is intertwined with the rest of the statutory scheme for creating new judicial districts in the state of Nevada.
Any thoughts?
Dear @: The T-Rex had thin arms.
The scooter straddling beast, in contrast, has 46" biceps that look to weigh 200 pounds EACH.
I know they say "the camera adds 20 pounds", but does anyone else think she is significantly huger since going on suspension compared to this classic scooter pic?
http://media.lvrj.com/images/1804560.jpg
Rascal Personal Mobility Scooters should be paying her, man.
10:50, I'm not so sure.
"Hi, I'm Judge Halverson. And if it weren't for my Rascal, no one would have to put up with me."
I don't think that's going to endear Rascal to too many people.
Hai, can yew tells me why she haz breast on back? Thx bai.
What's eating Gilbert Grape?
Dear 10:45:
The weakness in Halverson’s thinking is that she found an interesting constitutional issue, then just assumed that because the law creating her new judicial position for an initial 2 year terms is (allegedly) contrary to the 6 year term required by the state constitution, it automatically follows that the November election will be cancelled and her term extended for 4 years, whereas the most likely remedy is to invalidate her judicial position altogether.
However, before she got to that point, she messed up by not reading the constitution more carefully. The relevant provision EXCEPTS the INITIAL TERM of an newly created judicial position (like Halverson’s) from the 6 year term requirement. (Or so the Secretary of State argues.)
See Answer to Petition ect., filed May 21, 2008, p. 2, noting that Nev. Const. art 6 sec. 5 states:
“The District judges shall be elected…and …hold office for the term of 6 years (excepting those elected at said first election)…”
http://www.nvsupremecourt.us/documents/cases/51539Answer.pdf
According to the Answer at p. 3, the exception has been used several times by the Nevada Legislature when it created new judicial offices over the years to provide for initial terms of less than 6 years.
Apparently, the initial terms of newly created judicial offices are sometimes set at less than 6 years to synchronize the election cycles of general jurisdiction judges, because a quirk in Nevada law prohibits raising a judicial salary midterm in office.
I agree with 9:27. I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of her advocacy (maybe b/c my expectations were so low).
But 10:45 has a good point - she glossed over the severability issue, which is big.
11:09 here. I didn't see 11:07's comment before posting.
If 11:07 is right, then I take what I wrote back. It seems like an open and shut case. I wonder why they even bothered having argument (except to allow for a Halverson circus).
Unfortunately, Casual Male XL only carries men's clothing. Luckily, southern Nevada just opened a "Casual Humpback Whale 20XL"
"Someone made the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man's wife a judge?"
"Bring me Solo and the Wookie"
"I wash myself with a rag on a stick"
Love y'all
I don't think I've every laughed that hard at comments on this blog before.
lol. hey lat, how about a poll to determine judge halverson's official nickname? it seems we have a few candidates -
judge stay puft
jabbette
the baconator
tons of fun
etc.
Her oral skills (**shudder**) are not that bad, but they are not good either. I noted her complete failure to fall back on or reference any case law during questioning (at least in this clip).
I am more interested in her legal arguments - they do not seem off the wall.
11:18 - apropos of t-rex arms and personal mobility vehicles,
the rascal raptor?
"Halverson seeks to avoid standing for election."
Hell, it's obvious she seeks to avoid standing for any reason whatsoever. Her legs would snap like slim jims under the ginormous weight.
"Hai, can yew tells me why she haz breast on back? "
And about three on each arm, not including the small one hanging from her wrist. That second chin looks like about a C cup.
She needs to file a Writ of Habeus Corpulent.
What a laugh, I am so glad attorneys have such a mean spirited sense of humor. Brilliant!
Rascal Raptor FTW.
the only Courtroom where the bench and the jury box are the same size.
In Nevada, justice is neither swift nor capable of walking stairs.
I wonder if she's wearing a thong...
The long and chunky arm of the law.
11:07,
But was she elected at a first election?
it seems like an open and shut case - of ho-hos.
Come on guys, I'm sure it's a glandular disorder.
"The weakness in Halverson’s thinking is that she found an interesting constitutional issue, then just assumed that because the law creating her new judicial position for an initial 2 year terms is (allegedly) contrary to the 6 year term required by the state constitution, it automatically follows that the November election will be cancelled and her term extended for 4 years, whereas the most likely remedy is to invalidate her judicial position altogether. "
Why wouldn't extending the terms be more consistent with legislative intent? Clearly the legislature intended to create judicial offices; if the portion of the enabling statute relating to term of office is inconsistent with the state constitution why not sever it and infer a 6-year term from the constitution? As fun as it is to mock Halverson she has something of a point here.
11:14 + 11:35,
I LOL'd at my desk.
Dear 11:07,
You are a douche. Can't you see we are making fun of a fat woman here??? There's no room for elitist Nevada constitutional arguments. The only good things about Nevada are the 1990 UNLV basketball team and Reno 911; your UNLV law degree doesn't make the list.
11:49,
She going commando.
Its not an oxygen tank - this tube delivers 24/7 mainline of BBQ sauce.
Dear 11:07,
You are a douche. Can't you see we are making fun of a fat woman here??? There's no room for elitist Nevada constitutional arguments. The only good things about Nevada are the 1990 UNLV basketball team and Reno 911; your UNLV law degree doesn't make the list.
11:58 - best comment so far
Wow! I'm seeing alot of mean spirited comments aimed at her size. The best medical/scientific research is tending to support the hypothesis that this kind of obesity is an epigenetic condition over which she likely has little control.
And how many of YOU would like to have your most obvious flaw derided every time you appear in public.
That being said, she does appear to be overreaching here.
@12:11 - she should stop overreaching at the buffet line.
12:11 - "an epigenetic condition over which she likely has little control." Up to a point, I could buy that. 250lbs, maybe. At the size she has reached, there is no way in hell she's eating anything close to a normal amount of food.
The only "condition" is her singularity of a pie-hole that sucks in everything edible within 3 hectares.
12:11, I wouldn't make fun if it weren't for the stuff I've heard about her behavior toward others.
http://abovethelaw.com/2007/08/another_update_on_the_large_an_1.php#more
http://abovethelaw.com/2007/05/another_update_on_the_large_an.php
Instructing your bailiff to shoot your "bitch" husband and to give you back and foot massages + a pattern of disrespect toward employees at the court = I don't feel guilty.
Also, 12:11 is probably fat.
Writ of Mandamus? More like writ of ham-damus.
DAMN!!!!!! She is HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGEEEE. GINORMOUS!!!!!
She could feed a village of Ethiopians for three years
@12:11 - Fine, and her haircut is nasty, too. I've seen better dye jobs on shag carpeting.
Halverson broke her leg and gravy fell out.
Halverson broke her leg and gravy fell out.
Halverson broke her leg and gravy fell out.
Halverson broke her leg and gravy fell out.
Halverson broke her leg and gravy fell out.
Halverson broke her leg and gravy fell out.
Halverson broke her leg and gravy fell out.
In the movie version Gregory Peck could have reprised two of his best roles: Atticus Finch and Captain Ahab.
There is an easy solution to this problem. Schedule a rehearing at the same time as an all you can eat fried chicken and hostess snacks buffet right outside of the courthouse. Then, default judgement, case closed.
as a woman - i think its awful and mean to insult people for physical flaw...unfortunately even i find these means ass comments funny as hell...smite me now oh savior....
on another note...at that size this is NOT genetic predisposition that is a woman who STOPPED CARING and SMOTHERED herself in FOOD. Stop trying to make every obese case about someone who has a genetic predisposition. It insults those who really do AND only eat slightly more than the average person and is triple-quadruple their size for some genetic abnormality and have to go to excrutiating lengths of deprivation to even drop 10-30 lbs. THIS WOMAN GAVE UP ALONG TIME AGO and said **** it im eating my feelings.
Is it too late to implead Bob's Big Boy? They didn't do anything wrong, of course, but they should be there.
"epigenetic condition"?
Christ, has the ability to make specious arguments completely replaced your logic and common sense 12:11?
Feed her a 1200 calorie a day diet, and get her off that scooter, and see if she's able to maintain a 500+lb weight.
If you're fat, it's because you're eating more calories than you burn off. Some people may have faster metabolisms than others, but nobody else is sticking the fork in her face.
Scales of Justice? Oh crap, how come its taken me so long to make a snarky comment about the scales of justice....
Crap...I got nuthin.
We should give the engineer who designed that scooter a Noble prize. A true feat of engineering!
Do they make judges robes in XXXXXXXXXXXXXXL or does she just wear a king-sized satin sheet?
"But was she elected at a first election?"
Yes, Halverson first ran (unsuccessfully) against Vegas Chief Judge Kathy Hardcastle’s husband (who is also a judge) setting the stage for the circus that followed. ( it is a long and sordid story, but Hardcastle fired Halverson as her law clerk when she filed to run against hubby, and Halverson filed an ethics complaint against Hardcastle for appearing at a fundraiser for her husband's successful attempt to hold on to the bench in the face of Halverson's challenge.)
The Nevada legislature created several new judicial seats (including the seat Halverson filed for and won), with initial terms of 2 years to synchronize the election cycles of those new judicial positions with the terms of the preexisting Nevada general jurisdiction judges.
Naturally, Kathy Hardcastle had it in for Halverson from day one, but (unfortunately for Halverson, fortunately for legal humorists everywhere) through her sometimes bizarre antics presented an exceptionally large target, as it were. And the rest is endomorphic judicial history.
Any news on the Amicus Curiae being written by the Krispy Kreme corporation?
"The best medical/scientific research is tending to support the hypothesis that this kind of obesity is an epigenetic condition over which she likely has little control."
Except that the circumstantial evidence in this particular case suggest a more voluntary genesis.
Halverson's former bailiff testified in the proceedings to suspend Halverson pending removal hearing that he found it demeaning to be required to clean Halverson's chambers, which Jordan testified were littered with sunflower seeds and cookie crumbs.
And I am more than a little skeptical that genetic and/or medical predisposition alone combined with 2 or even 3,000 calories a day could put on and maintain what looks like (from the linked hearing video) 6 or 700 pounds of body weight.
Above the Law commenters: you have made me truly proud to be a reader this day.
Excuse me while I go try to clean Mountain Dew off my monitor and pee off my seat.
1:11 - King sized sheets aren't that big, they dye circus tents black.
Foie gras, anyone?
Dear 11:57:
There is no such thing as "elitist Nevada constitutional arguments".
--11:07
You guys are wrong -- if I lived in Vegas, I'd totally romance her, take her out for a trough or two of slop, then take her back to her place. Then, I'd peel her out of her circus tent and lay her naked on the bed.
Then I'd totally rob her house, because she'd be stuck on her back like an up-ended turtle. I'd sell all her shiznit on eBay for PROFIT.
And THAT is how you roll with "Phase 2," underpants gnomes.
100th!
Sorry, just wanted to make this a comment clusterf**k.
Everyone should tape the above screen shot to their refrigerator door.
I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get with you
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But that butt you got makes me so horny
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupie
I've seen them dancin'
To hell with romancin'
She's sweat, wet,
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back
So, fellas! (Yeah!) Fellas! (Yeah!)
Has your girlfriend got the butt? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got back!
(LA face with Oakland booty)
Baby got back!
[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
I like 'em round, and big
And when I'm throwin' a gig
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like an animal
Now here's my scandal
I wanna get you home
And ugh, double-up, ugh, ugh
I ain't talkin' bout Playboy
'Cause silicone parts are made for toys
I want 'em real thick and juicy
So find that juicy double
Mix-a-Lot's in trouble
Beggin' for a piece of that bubble
So I'm lookin' at rock videos
Knock-kneeded bimbos walkin' like hoes
You can have them bimbos
I'll keep my women like Flo Jo
A word to the thick soul sisters, I wanna get with ya
I won't cuss or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna *fuck*
Till the break of dawn
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to hit it and quit it
And I'd rather stay and play
'Cause I'm long, and I'm strong
And I'm down to get the friction on
So, ladies! {Yeah!} Ladies! {Yeah}
If you wanna roll in my Mercedes {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even white boys got to shout
Baby got back!
Baby got back!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to females, Cosmo ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Ha ha, only if she's 5'3".
[Sir Mix-a-Lot]
So your girlfriend rolls a Honda, playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none
Unless you've got buns, hun
You can do side bends or sit-ups,
But please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your waist is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
To the beanpole dames in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a sister, I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his girls are on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And I pull up quick to get wit 'em
So ladies, if the butt is round,
And you want a triple X throw down,
Dial 1-900-MIXALOT
And kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back!
(Little in the middle but she got much back) [4x]
“Jabba the Judge”, posted on Code Monkey Ramblings, on May 29, 2007 9:06 PM:
“The District Judge Elizabeth Halverson saga is starting to creep beyond the borders of Nevada and into [] California…”
--This state is not big enough for both of you.
See:
http://bp0.blogger.com/_7_VME45R1Ak/R5JJ4ZQv_nI/AAAAAAAABCA/JfaDPWFqAKQ/s1600-h/judge+halverson+seeks+reelection+500+pound+vegas+judge.gif
(Jabba the Judge political cartoon)
http://media.lvrj.com/images/1804560.jpg
The Rascal 655 is specially designed to be "bariatric friendly" and can accomodate loads of up to 550 lbs. Fun for a whole four person family of normal people, or one blubberous burden on society.
* Hypothetical Halverson shower scene:
WARNING: You may never ingest another whopper or say "super size me" again.
http://www.breakitdownblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/huge_fat_woman_in_shower.jpg
____
*DISCLAIMER: This is NOT, Judge Halverson. For one thing, this woman appears to be thinner. Presented as a public service message in aid of obesity prevention. All resemblance to persons living or dead (if any) is strictly coincidental. Before embarking on any exercise program, you should first consult a licensed physician.
has anyone noticed how heavy she is?
Call me Ishmael. Some years ago - never mind how long precisely - having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world...
the name tubby is hurtful to me as my weight problem is glandular
THAT'S A HUGE BITCH
So, how many cameras were actually on you?
Any one remember that old movie with Kelly LeBrock and Anthony Michael Hall, "Wierd Science?" Remember when Lisa (LeBrock) turned Wyatt's brother Chet (Bill Paxton) into that blob creature at the end. 'Nuff said.
bring me two of every animal
I'd hit it, if I could find it...
how does she wipe her ass?
4:11 - I guess with that rag on a stick
Re-Elect Judge Elizabeth Halverson
Just 54 Days Until Election Day- August 12, 2008
http://www.halverson4judge.com/
4:11 PM:
That is what her law clerk is for....and the position is open on Lateral Link (did we mention the signing bonus)?
Wow, nice campain:
Please make out contributions to:
FRIENDS to ELECT ELIZABETH HALVERSON
3850 E. Flamingo Rd. # 152
Las Vegas, Nevada 89121-6227
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT!
BAGS OF HO-HOS & OREO COOKIES ACCEPTED!
The respondent should make an offer to settle:
Her wait in choclate to make it all go away.
** Its not Las Vegas that is attracting everyone to Nevada, its Judge Halverson's gravitational force**
Halverson got it right on her interpretation of "the first term" language—its not the “first term” of newly created seats, it is the first election after the constitution was enacted in the 1800’s.
The Nev. Const. Art. 6, sec. 5 (important parts in all caps) says in part:
'AT THE FIRST GENERAL ELECTION UNDER THIS CONSTITUTION there shall be elected in each of the respective districts (except as in this Section hereafter otherwise provided) one district judge, WHO SHALL HOLD OFFICE FROM AND INCLUDING THE FIRST MONDAY OF DECEMBER A.D., EIGHTEEN HUNDRED AND SIXTY FOUR AND UNTIL THE FIRST MONDAY OF JANUARY IN THE YEAR EIGHTEEN HUNDRED AND SIXTY SEVEN.
After the said first election, there shall be elected at the general election which immediately precedes the expiration of the term of his predecessor, one district judge in each of the respective judicial districts (except in the First District as in this Section hereinafter provided.)
THE DISTRICT JUDGES shall be elected by the qualified electors of their respective districts, and SHALL HOLD OFFICE FOR THE TERM OF 6 YEARS (EXCEPTING THOSE ELECTED AT SAID FIRST ELECTION) from and including the first Monday of January, next succeeding their election and qualification..."
Does this mean…OMG…FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS!
**This is why "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." Nothing can escape the gravity resulting from her astronomical (m)ass**
THE DAILY PUZZLER:
The force of gravity on a mass m is F = — GMm/x2.
EXAMPLE: The approximate work to lift a 30-pound suitcase 20 feet is 600 foot-pounds.
QUESTION: How many foot-pounds of force will be required to lift Judge Halverson from her scooter back onto the bench (assuming a 4 ft. elevation from floor to bench)?
Okay, the comments here are the reason why I started reading this blog. They have literally ruined me for the day, I have buckled over in laughter so many times that my staff thinks I have straight out lost my mind. Yes, my clients will pay for me to do the following, since I can't get any real work done.
Props to these posters, listed in chronological order, but not in order of comedy, as that may be too difficult to quantify:
9:08
9:29
9:54
10:13
10:40
10:41
11:35
11:46
11:52
11:58
12:19
12:54
2:06
4:08
Rarely does anything happening in or around the law to make me stop and take notice and say, "I'm PROUD to be an attorney!" But the lambasting of this utter buffoon and blemish on the legal profession has made me bust at the seems with pride, and I commend each and every one of the above posters.
It is you fine sirs and madams that make this profession great. You have made today a celebration, and I celebrate you like Halverson celebrates after her specially equipped mini-van lowers her scooter onto the patio of the Country Kitchen Buffet.
I feel sorry for her
It is easy for individuals to hide behind an anonymous keyboard and make such nasty, drastic comments about the judge's physical disability. Whatever the truth or falsity of the allegations in the Judicial Code of Conduct petition(s), and whatever her shortcomings, she is not deserving of what will most assuredly be feelings of despair and sadness when she reads all these comments. None of us would want others saying these things in a public forum about our loved ones -- our sisters, brothers, mothers, daughters. Imagine how those who care and support this woman must deplore these remarks and have sadness around their loved one being hammered like this.
Ridicule the judge's behaviors, ridicule her legal judgments. These are excessively personal, ugly attacks on someone who must carry the burden of all that weight on a daily basis.
It is sad, folks. Not funny. A little empathy could go a long way.
Her argument that the statute establishing the 2-year initial term is not specious and is being asserted by her in good faith. Like others have noted, the Court may strike down the statute as violative of the Constitution and leave her without the remedy she seeks, a six-year term. The legislature would likely need to go back to the drawing board under this scenario. I say these things, though, based only on what I heard during the oral arguments before the Court. I am not a Nevada attorney.
With rare exceptions, I respect persons who subject themselves to public ridicule -- something that necessarily accompanies one's decision to seek public office and serve others.
It is easy for individuals to hide behind an anonymous keyboard and make such nasty, drastic comments about the judge's physical disability. Whatever the truth or falsity of the allegations in the Judicial Code of Conduct petition(s), and whatever her shortcomings, she is not deserving of what will most assuredly be feelings of despair and sadness when she reads all these comments. None of us would want others saying these things in a public forum about our loved ones -- our sisters, brothers, mothers, daughters. Imagine how those who care and support this woman must deplore these remarks and have sadness around their loved one being hammered like this.
Ridicule the judge's behaviors, ridicule her legal judgments. These are excessively personal, ugly attacks on someone who must carry the burden of all that weight on a daily basis.
It is sad, folks. Not funny. A little empathy could go a long way.
Her argument that the statute establishing the 2-year initial term is not specious and is being asserted by her in good faith. Like others have noted, the Court may strike down the statute as violative of the Constitution and leave her without the remedy she seeks, a six-year term. The legislature would likely need to go back to the drawing board under this scenario. I say these things, though, based only on what I heard during the oral arguments before the Court. I am not a Nevada attorney.
With rare exceptions, I respect persons who subject themselves to public ridicule -- something that necessarily accompanies one's decision to seek public office and serve others.
It is easy for individuals to hide behind an anonymous keyboard and make such nasty, drastic comments about the judge's physical disability. Whatever the truth or falsity of the allegations in the Judicial Code of Conduct petition(s), and whatever her shortcomings, she is not deserving of what will most assuredly be feelings of despair and sadness when she reads all these comments. None of us would want others saying these things in a public forum about our loved ones -- our sisters, brothers, mothers, daughters. Imagine how those who care and support this woman must deplore these remarks and have sadness around their loved one being hammered like this.
Ridicule the judge's behaviors, ridicule her legal judgments. These are excessively personal, ugly attacks on someone who must carry the burden of all that weight on a daily basis.
It is sad, folks. Not funny. A little empathy could go a long way.
Her argument that the statute establishing the 2-year initial term is not specious and is being asserted by her in good faith. Like others have noted, the Court may strike down the statute as violative of the Constitution and leave her without the remedy she seeks, a six-year term. The legislature would likely need to go back to the drawing board under this scenario. I say these things, though, based only on what I heard during the oral arguments before the Court. I am not a Nevada attorney.
With rare exceptions, I respect persons who subject themselves to public ridicule -- something that necessarily accompanies one's decision to seek public office and serve others.
CAREER ALTERNATIVES FOR ATTORNEYS: CLERKING AND CARING FOR THE MORBIDLY OBESE JUDGE
We resume our series of open threads on career alternatives for attorneys. If you have a law degree, but can't get into / aren't interested in Biglaw or contract attorney work, or, lets face it, you cannot find a law firm job at all, under any circumstances, even a runner job like that big retard guy Lenny on LA Law, what are some other good options?
Today’s Halverson post has reminded us that obese judges are people too, and they do not function by legal research alone! Thus, a new alternative career path is born!
But, you may ask, how do I begin to prepare for such “massive” challenges?
TIP: LEARN NOW TO GIVE THE EXTRA HELP YOUR JUDGE NEEDS. AND DO IT WITH SENSITIVITY.
Judge X just won her state supreme court case. She won’t have to stand for re-election after all. In a phrase she’s Baaaack. Oh, one more ting, Judge X weighs in at just over 600 pounds.
Judge X isn’t a real judge; she's a composite of many (literally). Anyhow, lets get to judge X’s special needs, and how you will be fulfilling them in your new career in the law.
Expanded needs
When a morbidly obese judge enters the courthouse, routine legal procedures (heck, even going from point A to point B, let alone the judge wiping her won ass) can be complicated by lack of proper equipment.
Standard desk chairs, food trays, water pitchers, doorways, and court room benches are too small. (Waaaay too small.) In fact, even standard lifting devices may not accommodate her.
Four or five court staff members may be needed to simply lift her onto the bench. In such cases, coordination is essential.
Preparation, preparation, and more preparation is the key to this job—that and hours at a bench press machine at your local gym. Also, read all standard equipment manuals that are avaible in your local library—from Tommy Lifts to specialized toilets.
TIP: LEARN THE MAXIMUM WEIGHT CAPACITY OF THE COURT HOUSE ELEVATOR. IF NECESSARY, USE THE FREIGHT ELEVATOR. IN RARE CASES, THE LOCAL FIRE DEPARTMENT CAN SUPPLY A CHERRY-PICKER TO INGRESS THROUGH A COURT ROOM WINDOW.
Caring for Judge X’s painful diabetic feet is of major concern. Hey, you took the job, now get down on all fours and rub those feet and toes. While you’re at it, apply some tasteful nail polish.
Remember, she can't assist herself t because of reactive airway disease and the overlap of her large, pendulous abdomen. That’s where you come in. Fill those oxygen tanks. Then, grab some Nivia, and moisturize that belly.
TIP: MAINTAINING A PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE (LET ALONE A STRAIGHT FACE) CAN EARN YOUR JUDGE’S TRUST. SPEAK OPENLY WITH JUDGE X ABOUT HER SPECIAL NEEDS WITHOUT DWELLING ON THEM.
Proper hygiene is key
A proper court room, chambers and chambers bathroom configuration is rendered more complicated because she needs an expanded-capacity bench, bench-lift, commode, and chair. In addition, the Toto automatic toilet is highly recommended, as it may make your daily routine a heck of a lot more pleasant (if you know what we mean).
Finished with the potty? Not so fast Ms./Mr. clerk! Judge X’s groin folds are reddened and excoriated. You apply topical cream to them and develop a creative way to keep the area dry.
Special feeding needs
Extra large capacity dishes, cups, utensils, and, of course, massive quantities of snack food and an oversized rubberized bib should all go on your check list.
TIP: IT IS HIGHLY RECOMMENDED THAT THE JUDGE’S MICROWAVE OVEN BE LOCATED OUTSIDE OF THE IN-CHAMBERS BATHROOM.
Trust us; we learned that one from painful personal experience (LOL).
Personal-care items, such as extra-extra-extra large-sized linen (for those in-chambers naps) and plus size judicial robes, must also be obtained and at the ready.
Solve problems creatively
Let say your judge is REALLY humongous, and even after you worked up to 500 pounds on the bench press machine you just cannot budge her off the scooter.
A trapeze bar attached to a 1,000-pound ceiling lift over the courtroom bench should get your judge on and off the bench and in and out of a heavy duty motorized scooter.
Still need more lift? Try affixing an industrial traveling lift to the court room ceiling with a steel I-beam track, that starts over the bench and curves right on into chambers. Then just grab that controller panel, and ready-go-lift. Remember, think creatively!
Ok, your mentally and physically ready. You can bench press 500 pounds. You can Sheperdize and Auto-Cite with the best of them. You have read your manuals.
Now go get that clerkship!
6:24 -
You are a liberal douche. Only in America can someone completely quit on themselves from a physical standpoint, and literally epitomize western gluttony and sloth, and then elicit sympathy from third parties such as yourself.
Have some perspective. This person has only herself to blame for her appearance. As many posters have stated, and clearly you have ignored, her obesity exceeds (pun intended) any reasonable argument about a hereditary or medical weight issue.
This woman is fat because she intakes too many calories and refuses to engage in any responsible eating habits or exercise. If her condition was medical, find me 10 Africans or South Americans from impoverished areas who mirror such an appearance.
She is getting what she deserves, and I for one would have no reservation about saying any of this to her face.
Holy schnickeys, I have not laughed out loud so much in quite a while. Bring me two of every animal. ATL, you are redeemed.
bring me two of every animal.
SIMPLY.
THE.
BEST,
bring me two of every animal.
SIMPLY.
THE.
BEST,
I don't think 6:24 is necessarily a liberal douche - I think 6:24 may be the Hutt herself.
6:24 6/19 is a double duce
Could call her Judga the Hutt
cow-tipping, anyone?
OMG, these comments are so freakin' funny I have been laughing out loud like an idiot for all down the hallway to hear, keep 'em coming!
Dear Moderator: I demand that you put this article on the front page again! Too damn funny
This article is an outrage...that it is not back on page 1!!!
She raises the bar... and breaks the bench
that's a huuuuuuge bitch!
Holy crap, no wonder her husband clowned her with a frying pan. And that was probably after he cooked 15 lbs of scrapple with it.
Got one word.... FAT!!!
Be carful of what you say, she might hunt you down and eat you!!!