Email Scandals, Law Schools, Oral Sex / Blow Jobs, Sex, Sex Scandals

Kids These Days: Or, Why You Should Always Sign Out of a Public Computer

Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky Monica Lewinsky oral sex blow job Bill Clinton impeachment.jpgCurvaceous beauty Monica Lewinsky, who will go down in history as the world’s most famous intern, once joked about going to law school. Instead she went to the prestigious London School of Economics, from which she graduated with a master’s degree in social psychology.

Interestingly enough, Lewinsky wrote a law-related thesis: “In Search of the Impartial Juror: An Exploration of the Third Person Effect and Pre-Trial Publicity.” So maybe she’s leaving the door open to law school at a later point in time.

If Lewinsky decides in favor of a legal education, she might want to consider Washington College of Law (WCL), at American University. Based on an amusing instant-messenger chat that has been making the rounds recently — we received it from half a dozen different sources, so it’s in wide circulation — it seems she’d fit right in.

If you have delicate sensibilities, stop reading now. But if not, check out the quasi-racy IM conversation, after the jump.

We’re going to use this occasion as a “teaching moment.” The Gmail chat conversation below was found on a WCL computer that someone forgot to sign out of. Moral of the story: When using a public computer, ALWAYS SIGN OUT!

We’ve replaced the students’ actual screen names with “male” and “female.” Consistent with ATL policy — this hasn’t always been our policy, but it is now (chalk it up to “evolving standards of decency”) — please do not name the students or provide further biographical detail about them. If you do, we will remove your comment, and we may ban your IP address from further commenting.

(Also, if you notice a comment that attempts to name names or to hint at identities, please email us about it. We can’t monitor all comment threads all the time, so we appreciate your assistance in pointing out problematic comments. Thanks.)

Without further ado, the Gchat transcript:

male: heu. hey.

female: Hey – I just got your text, no I’m not still at school. I had to go home to get my car because I’m meeting [redacted] at 5. [Professor X] wants us to check 30 (no joke) books out of the main campus library and bring them to her. What were you doing there?

male: stuff for class, is there any way i can get a bj today at school?

And would you happen to have notes from last Thursday’s Fed. Jur., by any chance?

female: No, I’m home now and when I come back I’m meeting that guy. Plus the library is to [sic] crowded in the afternoon. You have to come over in the early morning or later at night to get library head.

It’s just like going to see a professor: you have to come (pun intended) during office hours.

male: what about bathroom head?

female: I think the same rules should probably still apply. I’m not so keen on getting kicked out of school

male: you could sit on the toilet and ill stand in front, no one would know lol

female: Which bathroom do you suggest doing this in?

male: i dunno, one of the bigger guy bathrooms

female: It’s just not such good timing. If you really want, you can wait at school until I’m done with the [Professor X] stuff, but that will probably be pretty late, but at least we’d have less of a chance of getting caught.

male: like what time?

female: I don’t know how long it’s going to take. We have to go to main campus, check out all these books and articles, and then bring them back to WCL and copy a bunch of book chapters. I don’t know how much photocopying there is becuase [sic] I haven’t seen the books yet

male: oh ok, i have class from 6-8

female: You can try me at 8:00. I might still be there. I didn’t know you were taking a class

male: yeah, thats why i come in on mondays, wheres a good place in school to get a bj?

female: I’m not sure, I’ve never given a bj in school. Have you ever gotten one?

male: nope

female: You ever jerked off at school?

male: yeah, i did twice

female: Where did you do that?

male: in a bathroom stall

female: Well I guess that’s probably the best place to give head too. I’m signing off now, the lightening [sic] is freaking me out.

female: I went home. Aren’t you still in class anyway?

We have a sneaking suspicion that the male student has pleasured himself more than two times on law school property. Then again, if he has a female classmate who is so eager to please, maybe masturbation isn’t necessary.

(hidden for your protection)

comments sponsored by

Show all comments