Lawsuit of the Day: Thong-Tha-Thong, Thong, Thong
According to Sisqo, thongs are “what the guys talk about,” “the finer things in life.”
Macrida Patterson disagrees. She thinks thongs are downright dangerous, and she’s filed a very un-sexy product liability suit against Victoria’s Secret.
From the Smoking Gun:
As she was attempting to put on a Victoria’s Secret thong, a Los Angeles woman claims that a decorative metallic piece flew off the garment and struck her in the eye, causing injuries and a new product liability lawsuit against the underwear giant. Macrida Patterson, 52, alleges that she was hurt last May by a defective “low-rise v-string” from the Victoria’s Secret “Sexy Little Thing” line, according to a lawsuit filed last week in Los Angeles Superior Court.
Usually we’d write a salacious post about such material. But all we can see in our mind’s eye is a big woman trying to squeeze into an itty-bitty thong, and a piece of metal taking flight due to the stress.
Perhaps Patterson has “dumps like a truck truck truck” (whatever that means), and should have stuck to Victoria Secret’s “Sexy Little Larger Things.”
P.S. Is the Victoria’s Secret legal department hiring? Between thong lawsuits and bra design litigation, they must be pretty busy over there.
Dinged By A G-String? [Smoking Gun]
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Is that graphic really necessary?
9:49 - The actual "Sexy Little Thing" thong is even worse:
http://www2.victoriassecret.com/commerce/application/prodDisplay/?namespace=productDisplay&origin=onlineProductDisplay.jsp&event=display&prnbr=8P-209536&page=1&cgname=OSPTYTHGZZZ&rfnbr=1923
Might as well go commando.
Once I saw Jenny in a thong, and you know what, I liked it. I don't recall any metal things, though, so you know what, I don't know if I believe this story. Metal things in your underwear, I mean who would do that? Can you believe that, metal in your underwear? That would be uncomfortable. And you know what, I'm pretty sure momma never had no metal things in her underwear either. At least, I never saw any in there. But, her underwear was very large, so maybe metal things are only in tiny underwear.
A 52 year old in a thong!?
Re: 9:52's comment, do women "go commando"? Isn't that a male term?
unless she's now blind in that eye how could she have legit damage justiiying a suit?
Complaint on Smoking Gun cites cornea damage resulting in lost wages and hospital expenses.
9:56- I was thinking the same thing. Why?
I think that I remember that where a plaintiff uses a product in an unforseeable way, a valid defense lies.
Unfortunately for Victoria Secret's, this is forseeable use--many, many plus-size women squeeze into garments into which they have no business squeezing. Hence terms like "muffin top," etc.
Kashmir,
We get that older woman + thong=hilarity. And by "we," I mean frat boys. Don't give the trolls any more fodder.
Guys in my HS got dinged in the eye while putting on thongs all the time. It was no big deal.
oh dear god. i love how you tools have already decided she's fat.
10:12 - men do the same thing. on the streets of new york they often dominate the "muffin top" field. (think sausage tight oxford shirts over huge bellies, big hairy guts drooping over tiny speedos, khakis of a size the man in question last wore in college with rolls of love handle straining over the belt).
give me a f***ing break with your "many, many plus-size women" comment. i'd bet anything your sitting in your office right now with donut crumbs on your beer gut while your aeron chair strains to hold your huge ass for another work day.
what an a-hole.
Why are we presuming this woman was large? I know plenty of thin 52-year-old women. Moreover, some women just think thongs are more comfortable. I don't and I'm also too cheap, old, and married to buy nice underwear anymore, but to each her own.
Thank you, 10:18. Kash et al.: You, too, will be 52-years-old someday (if you're lucky enough to live that long). Hope you're a good sport about it.
Can somebody explain to me where the "guys in my HS" joke originated?
Can somebody explain to me where the "guys in my HS" joke originated?
Kash, this is the most ridiculous post. Like someone else said, you're going to be a 52 year old woman someday. Maybe you can write a post then about how your underwear fits.
This is the most bogus lawsuit since those Gitmo detainees tried to sue for habeas.
9:49- absolutely / this douche in barbri is so fugly that I need to look at something like that on a site that will not get the fat feminazis behind me up in arms
I salute our lady for trying to squeeze into that thong. I laugh at her fat ineptitude (when will FATZ learn that they are not welcome?).
I don't think Kash made any comments about an age-limit on thongs. She just quoted the original article.
Can someone shed some light on the metal thing. Any woman out there who purchase these thongs able to enlighten us on whether there is metal on the thong or is this really a trumped up lawsuit.
Kash ... thank you for not putting a picture of a 52 year old in a thong
what is with the guys in my HS stuff anyway.
The inference that woman in question is big isn't based on her being 52 years old. It's based on the allegation that putting on her underwear involves physical force necessary to launch a thong-mounted ballistic missile into her own eye.
Is it a logically air-tight inference? No, of course not. But unless you're pre-disposed to take offence to things, it's at least mildly funny.
And for those who DO demand air-tight inferences, let me step into character:
My GOD! How come everyone is assuming that the plaintiff is a WOMAN!? SOOOO sexist! All the article said was that the plaintiff was named "Macrida" and wearing women's underwear! You should all burn in hell!
Suggested warning label:
WARNING: Attempting to don a G-string smaller than your size could cause the elastic components of the garment to break resulting in serious injury, blindness or death. Remember, if you are over 50, odds are that you are no longer a size 2.
G-string or thong is probably the earliest form of clothing known to mankind; having originated in the warmer climates of sub-Saharan Africa where clothing was first worn nearly 75,000 years ago. Many tribal peoples, such as some of the Khoisan people of southern Africa, wore thongs for many centuries. Much like the 2000-plus-year-old Japanese fundoshi, these early garments were made with the male genitalia in mind. FN Wikipedia
thongs are actually better for fat people since there's less material that needs to be stretched out.
that picture of the plaintiff is hot
Excellent point you make, 10:36, we don't even know that this was a woman. It might have been Judge Somma, under his assumed name, Macrida.
Or, speaking of judges, it might have been Judge Halverson....
Guys in my high school used to slip into sexy little numbers from Victoria's Secret all the time, often right after lacrosse practice. It was not big deal.
it could have been Judge Kozinski or that cross dressing judge and Celtic fan from Mass.
Guys in my high school used to show up for class wearing thongs all the time. It was no big deal.
"Why are we presuming this woman was large? I know plenty of thin 52-year-old women."
I feel strongly that she is indeed very large. All the facts point to this.
10:30 - hilarious
if you follow the link provided by the guest at 9:52 to the Victoria's Secret ad, you will see that the second model is wearing a pink thong with what appears to be silver sequins or metallic "dots" -- the text at the side says that this color is no longer available
I'll bet this is the one that is involved in the lawsuit and VS pulled it immediately
Guys in my high school started on autoadmit.
AU doesn't allow its students to wear thongs.
A cute girl sitting right in front of me during 1st yr property final had a little thong sticking out of her low rider jeans during the whole exam. I should have protested.
Kash, you're a loser - obviously, "dumps like a truck, truck, truck" refers to a "dump truck." Just a play on words, not so much a metaphor - though if a girl DID have an ass as big as a dump truck, DAMN!
if she takes dumps like a dump truck she should be wearing granny panties
11:05-
It was started by a number of then-Vandy law students ~2 yrs ago.
Correction to 11:21:
It was started by a number of then-Vandy law student -FRAT STUDS ~ 2 yrs ago.
the smoking gun says the woman has so far refused to produce the thong to victorias secret. ipso facto she's a fatty who's case is gone once everyone finds out she tried to squeeze her cellulite into a thong intended for a much slimmer, younger woman.
Users should wear protective eyewear before thonging up.
I have been critical of Kash, but this is a funny post for anyone under 30.
Guys in my high school used to speculate about the origin of guys in my high school comments prompting an infinite regress of meta guys in my high school comments all the time. It was no big deal unto infinity.
Click thru to the complaint...I'm not a litigator, but I spotted 3 errors:
1) Victoria's Secret d/b/a/ Limited Brands Inc. [should be Limited d/b/a Victoria's Secret]
2) In 2(a), P's counsel identifies Limited as plaintiff.
3) In item 10, where P's counsel has to identify the basis of the complaint, even though (d) is "Products Liability", he still checked (f) ("Other") and wrote in "Products Liability".
P's attorney Jason Buccat should be ashamed of his sloppy work.
She should have hired someone at biglaw.
Ah, Judicial Council complaints. For people who needed three years of law school to learn how to check off boxes on a form.
I'm out there Jerry, and I'm loving every minute of it!
/obligatory
wearing a thong over the age of 40 should be a crime with possible imprisonment upon conviction.
the girl in the photo is nice- i need to rub one out now-thanks
FINALLY we get a picture of Kash showing a little SKIN!
guys in my high school used to make fun of bigger girls all the time, but then they grew up to be fat and hairy ex-"frat studs" from Vandy and so married the previously-harrassed BBWs. It was no big deal.
is that thong on a mannequin
As an aside the link to the thong above does not actually do it justice. They have an image on consumerist of the thong and matching bra at issue, and lets just say there are holes in the fabric to provide "fresh air" to both the nips, and the um.. flower.
Ewww old bitch trying to wear a thong - there should be some kind of prohibition for women over 40 (and under 16) wearing them.
CNN has a short video of it, although it only shows the woman's face.
http://tinyurl.com/5p627v
1 - There is nothing in this suit that notes the Plaintiff's weight. The assumption that she's fat is just BS.
2 - Does anyone here shop at Victoria's Secret? Plenty of the so-called "sexy little things" it carries are cheaply made crap that might fall apart when ANYONE tries them on.
3 - There's no age limit on clothing.
1. The assumption isn't BS, watch the video from above and one can easily deduce that the plaintiff ain't exactly a size 2.
2. Thongs are a privilege, not a right.
Is that Kash's left tit dipping down into the photo?
I hope so.
She's on MSNBC right now. Not some granny ... just some middle aged black lady. Lawyer is hilarious, as are her descriptions of symptoms. Medication for rest of her life, etc. LULZ.
5:58 here.
Well, what do you know, the plaintiff is neither fat nor "old" looking: http://jezebel.com/5017966/apologies-to-macrida-patterson-v+string-victim
So, yes, the assumption about her weight (and her looks in general) was, in fact, BS.