Lawyer of the Day: David Ayers
When this answer in a Texas personal injury suit dropped into our tips inbox, our jaws dropped. Overlawyered also noted it yesterday. Here's an excerpt from the Defendant's Original Answer in Henry v. Maersk Line Limited:
The full non-redacted answer is available after the jump. We called up the filing attorney to find out how this became an actual filing. Turns out it didn't. Houston partner David Ayers is being honored with Lawyer of the Day for being able to take a joke.
Discover the story behind the f***ing filing after the jump.
Ayers tells us that the filing was actually a joke and was never filed. The file stamp is photoshopped on. Someone at Werner Ayers e-mailed it to him saying, "I hope you really wanted this filed."
Ayers is friendly with the plaintiff's attorney in the case and forwarded it to him. As is wont to happen in the electronic age, it "seems to have grown and taken on a life of its own," says Ayers. He's gotten calls and e-mails from the media and people as far away as Alaska. The actual vanilla answer was filed at Harris Country Court yesterday.
Here's the full text of the prank filing:
![henry-v-maersk-answer[1]-1.jpg](http://abovethelaw.com/henry-v-maersk-answer%5B1%5D-1.jpg)
![henry-v-maersk-answer[1]-2.jpg](http://abovethelaw.com/henry-v-maersk-answer%5B1%5D-2.jpg)
Why a law-firm partner should be careful about to whom he grants signature authority [Overlawyered]
(34) Comments
Am I first? Momma said if I worked hard, some day I would be in first place. You know what, she was right, I think.
This is awesome.
first?
Latest!
Cue 'this is so unprofessional' comments in 3...2...1...
Prediction: This will not end well for Mr. Ayers. Clients already can't stand the fact that we lawyers are "chummy" with our adversaries from time to time. To take it to the next level and participate in a mockery of our clients' interests???!!! Are you fucking kidding me???!!!
Not smart. Plain and simple.
PS - I'll be at Brickwall in Asbury Park tonight for icy cold beers! Who's in?
Right on time, 11:39. Thank you for making my day.
-11:38.
Sure thing 11:38! Hey, lemme ask you something: Do you find that people come around from time to time to check whether you're breathing?
Is that weird for you?
- 11:39
He said it was stupid, 11:41, not unprofessional. I hope tomorrow is better for you.
Seriously, it is pretty unprofessional.
My George isn't clever enough to hatch a scheme like this.
Honestly there are so many silly lawsuits filed in courts in the US that every lawyer wishes they could file something like this at some point.
the forrest schtick has yet to not make me smile.
fixed: the forrest schtick has yet not to make me smile.
yw
Aw come on 11:39. It's a harmless joke. The answer was not even filed. The client probably thinks exactly what he wrote anyway.
I can't wait until I'm old and ready to retire so I can start filing some crazy shit with the court.
Comment left on Overlawyered:
This was never filed. It was a joke within our office: this fake answer was created and doctored to make it look like it had been filed. It was then forwarded to Ayers, the partner on the case. Once David recovered from the shock and realized it was in jest, he forwarded it to the plaintiff’s lawyer (an old friend of his back when they were at Fulbright & Jaworski together) to share in the joke. The plaintiff’s attorney called Ayers to confirm that it was, indeed, a prank. There is no such filing in the case.
Scott Raynes
Werner Ayers, L.L.P.
"malingering dips##t"
I promise to one day use this. But only when I'm a judge and have control over my courtroom.
And how do we know it's a joke? Because Texas is a comparative negligence jurisdiction, not a contributory negligence jurisdiction. Any halfway competent lawyer should know that. It's almost de rigueur for passing the bar.
Professional or unprofessional, a little risky. Especially in this age where gullible news outlets will cite a story from The Onion because they didn't realize it was satire.
"Because Texas is a comparative negligence jurisdiction, ... Any halfway competent lawyer should know that. It's almost de rigueur for passing the bar."
Yeah, except for the fact that torts isn't tested on the TX bar...
1:39: Get off your high horse. You still plead the affirmative defense of "contributory negligence." Read the fucking rule book. (TRCP 94, in case you're too inundated with document review to have any knowledge of basic trial procedure.)
Texas procedure IS tested on the Texas bar.
who the hell says, "de rigueur"? especially in Texas...
hilarious - love it ! !! (from a legal secretary, new york)
I love it!!!! It made my day and only people with a sense of humor knows this is funny, especially in law. If you are not one of them then get a life. Seriously!
Whether it's funny or not (calling your opponent a dumbass and a fucking idiot, while maybe worth a chuckle, does not strike me as particularly "hilarious"), mightn't this give rise to a defamation claim?
4:40 hit the nail on the head. If I were the "malingering" plaintiff, I might view a defamation case against a prominent law firm as somewhat bigger meal ticket than the current complaint. Or, better yet, both. Joke or not, Mr. Henry has been called a "dumbass" and a "fucking idiot" publicly.
4:40 and 4:55. go home. it's friday.
4:40 and 4:55 must be the same person. There can't be 2 people reading a law blog on 5pm on a Friday who have such a profound misunderstanding of what defamation actually is. Can there?
4:40/4:55: assuming you are two different people, you are both dumbasses and fucking idiots for thinking that calling someone either gives rise to a claim for defamation. If you disagree, feel free to subpoena my IP address and sue me for defamation so we can test your theory in a court of law.
LMAO...for those who don’t know what that means: Laughing My Ass Off...those will also be the people with out a sense of humor
The sad thing is that instead of enjoying the humor and appreciating the joke, most of us start to worry about "how it will look" - we lawyers really need to get over ourselves and learn to actually enjoy life.
I submit answers like this all the time.
Friday, June 6, 2008 3:57 PM said, "who the hell says, 'de rigueur'? especially in Texas...".
Silly! Nobody in Texas SAYS it because we can't pronounce it. We can spell it, though, and we know what it means.