First?

First.

Seriously HOW can ppl be so stupid - you should not be doing such things ever, let alone at a firm function as a summer associate...

First

First. What kind of moron grabs someone he doesn't know around the neck and calls him a punk and something else? I don't know about anybody else, but polite society refrains most people from doing that.

SNAP INTO A PARTNER!!!

2:06, that was freakin' hilarious.

I saw two grown men fighting on an escalator in GCT today after one man 'bumped' the other and tried to get on the escalator first. My guess is that the man who started the fight was warming up on his way to work at SRZ.

2:06, I cackled.

If was an A&F Tee I could understand the outburst.

A Red Sox fan perhaps?

This is bad, but is it bad enough to get no-offered?

Wow. I mean, WOW. This partner is wearing a Yankees jersey (is he 12 years old?)! Ipso facto, he is a punk and a homosexual, who dreams all day about being put in a headlock by Derek Jeter (sometimes A-Rod). And yet, he seems surprised when a summer associate speaks the truth and grants him his most deep-down desire? Some people just lack a basic sense of self awareness.

With the flourishing economy and the overwhelming backlog of work at most firms (including Schulte I'm sure), this guy has nothing to worry about. I'm sure he'll get an offer.

2:13, the answer is yes.

this can't be true...

What is the context for this story? Was it just a random act of WrestleMania or was there a reason he would put an unknown person in a headlock? The Partner should have reacted by issuing a Tombstone to MachoMan (A figure four would also have been an appropriate response).

Wow, a Red Sox fan acting like an ass clown. Shocking.

first to say - hooray beer!

I know the summer. We predicted something like this would happen. He beat the spread by about a week.

Personally, I would have responded with a "Twist of Fate" followed by a "Swanton Bomb" to finish the SA off

"unaware of the identity of a particular stranger, put him in a headlock and called him a (homophobic insult redacted) for wearing a Yankees jersey"

"snap into a slim jim" probably would have gone over better.

Even assuming the guy was another associate and not a partner, it is not particularly smart to insult the Yankees at a NY office. I don't what is wrong with Red Sox fans. I wouldn't go to Boston and start insulting the Red Sox but they think they have the right to go to NY and insult our team.

BTW, next time you accuse the Yankees of buying a championship, check out the Celtics roster. Last to first through the shameless buying of your two best players over the summer.

He probably had seen the partner before at the firm, and, at his desk one night, imagined that they were best friends with a long history of good-natured ribbing over the fact thay they root for different sports teams, including mutual nuggies, wedgies, head locks and frat-style insults to great laughter and enjoyment by all. His fantasy was, alas, aburptly shattered at the bar that night.

Lawyers have an important safety interest in knowing the identity of this batterer so that they can keep away from him in the future. What he did was a public event and he is not entitled to privacy

best post in months

I don't think this is the proper wrestler to refer to. Wasn't Brutus the Barber knwon for the headlock? I would have called him Brutus. Randy Savage was known for a headslam or something like that. Can we get new branding?

I don't think this is the proper wrestler to refer to. Wasn't Brutus the Barber knwon for the headlock? I would have called him Brutus. Randy Savage was known for a headslam or something like that. Can we get new branding?

Hey, why didn't abovethelaw extend the same courtesy to "aquagirl" whose law school and firm we all know (and many of us know her name) or the NYU Law students voted as the "hottest" 3Ls whose pictures abovethelaw refused to take down (despite being requested to do so)?

2:26/2:27 -- Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake's signature finishing move was the sleeper hold. Macho Man's was the flying elbow from the top rope. By the way, rest in peace Miss Elizabeth.

Yes, I have no life...

I am not surprised. That firm has more tools, assholes, and douchebags of any place I interviewed. The kid probably realized this and seized the opportunity to strangle a dick partner to get out of the firm before it was too late. Watch, he'll prob slide right over to a more normal place by the end of the summer.

Flame.

This never happened.

Lat, anyone can send you made up stories.

Ravishing Rick Rude had the Rude Awakening sleeper hold. That would've been better than Randy Savage.
All he had was his stupid off the top rope flying elbow.

This is the best thing I have ever read about SA.
Doesn't take much for the uptight SA to dissolve to reveal the douchebag fratboy. Too funny!!
Please keep us updated.

"ARE YOU READY TO BIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLL......."

Fair question, 2:28. Do we get an answer, Lat?

for those of us too ignorant in the ways of pro wrestling to know, pray tell, what does "snap into a partner" mean?

It's a play on the "snap into a slim jim" commercials that randy savage did, slim jim is a beef jerky stick

In fairness, the SRZ partner *did* turn out to be Jimmy "Super-Fly" Snuka.

2:24(1) -

I plan to borrow that in my upcoming defense case. "Ladies and gentleman of the jury, before the prosecution accuses my client of murder, I think they should think about Jeffrey Dahmer. He killed a lot of people and did so in a gruesome manner."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQjdHUX2T4c

Damn, our summers are so lame in comparison...probably makes sense, as we're looking for any little thing to no-offer at least a few of them (the dogsh!t they turn in for assignments would likely be enough if anyone read them).

Still, I'm getting sick of drinking mango mojitos alone at lunch.

Lat obviously has chosen to cut back a bit on exposing the personal details of non-public figures. He originally didn't filter too much (e.g., the NYU contest), but it looks like he's being a bit more cautious about those people who aren't yet public figures. As for aquagirl, Lat was by far not the first person to post her name (as it was commonly known well before his posts on her), and I think Lat now only posts someone's name when it is already out there publicly through some other source than ATL.

As reluctant as I am to inject a layer of unwanted cynicism into this discussion, I will anyway.

When I was in college, I did a junior year abroad.

One of my classmates—not the brightest bulb on the tree—was an heir to a huge block (with a B) of oil stock, and his father was on the board. The family also owned an island developed with luxury hotels, condo’s and home sites.

Anyhow, in an innocent display of affection one day the classmate turned me upside down (he was stronger than Mongo, but well meaning) and let all of the Euros fall out of my pockets.

I have no doubt that if he chose to attend Harvard Law they would have found a way to admit him, and that he could have summered anywhere he (or his family) wanted.

And the “partner” who complained about being head locked would have been dismissed.

I do not agree that the SA in this post will necessarily be sent home or no offered. It depends entirely on how he came to the firm in the first instance.

Those of you who believe SA slots are awarded strictly on academics are naive.

I landed my summer clerkship by tending bar at a strategic cocktail party hosted by my parents.

2:26 (2) - Agreed. More of this please. And whatever happened to those Law Firm Interview Horror Stories? Those were fun. Let's bring those back.

2:45/2:49--

thx. as a vegetarian woman in her 30's, i'm guessing i wasn't exactly the target market audience for a pro wrestler-starring slim jim commercial (though i did know what a slim jim is).

--2:43

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNEd4KH_A4s In case you wanted to relive Randy Savage's foray into paid advertisements.

My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Randy Savage put the Partner in a headlock last night.

So it's true.

At first I wondered, "where is Frat Stud in all of this?" This story seems like the perfect one for him to comment upon.
Then it hit me: maybe this summer associate IS FratStud?! If that were true, you could easily see how it happened - guys in his high school did this all the time, it was no big deal, etc., so it never occurred to him that putting a partner in a headlock might have adverse career consequences.

2:50, is your firm on Fire Island?

Who says this was a Red Sox fan?

Plenty of folks recognize that people who wear Yankees jerseys are ass clowns.

The SA might very well have been a Mets fan.

Who is the jerk at Shulte who emailed ATL?

2:38,

Wrong. The Rude Awakening was nothing like a sleeper hold. It was a neckbreaker.

Similar to the Shake, Rattle, and Roll of the Honky Tonk Man.

The question is what fake story do we send to Lat next?

2:24(1): Love the calling out of the Celtics on "buying" a championship. I have no dog in this fight, but didn't Isiah Thomas try the same thing with the Kinicks and just suck at it?

Has Lat gotten confirmation on this? I just spoke to a friend who is a summer at Schulte that knows nothing about it.

3:04, that is ridiculous. Being a Mets fan in NY is like being a Clippers fan in LA:-)

By Lat posting this piece of information, Schulte is far less likely to give the SA an offer. So Lat acting like he is being a good guy by refusing to post the SA's name or school is a little disingenuous. If Lat wanted to be responsible, he could have posted this story in an untimely manner after the summer was over and offers were given. Granted, there would have been less interest in the story but if he were truly interested in protecting the SA that is what he would have done. Now, everyone will eventually find out the guy's name and school regardless of whether abovethelaw is the first one to post it.

Agree with 3.08, sounds like a hoax to me. Why would anyone do this to a stranger?

hey commenters, where in the original post did it say the guys a red sox fan? EVERYONE hates the yankees.

and 2:24: the NBA has a salary cap--the celtics had to do some creative maneuvering to score the (semi-geriatric) line-up they have now. unlike the yankees, who blew fort knox for a bunch of chumps. although i agree that boston fans who accuse the yankees of buying pennants are hypocrites--but only because the sox have the second highest payroll themselves.

3:10, in my humble opinion, Lat is likely less interested in protecting the SA than he is in avoiding a law$uit.

Agreed, the impetus for Lat's policy is limiting liability, not trying to appear as a "good guy."

The partner should retaliate by concealing a large venomous snake inside a wedding present given to the summer associate and his new bride.

I think the bigger issue here is what was the "homophobic insult redacted" and why ATL couldn't indicate whatsoever what it was.

If it was only faggot, that takes me to a separate point.

Even if we agree that everyone in the world finds the term offensive, does that require the word to be purged from the English language? I keep hearing more and more people saying and writing "the F word." Grow up. We are adults. If you can't even tolerate hearing the word or seeing it written, then you should just abandon going outside. Ridiculous.

3:10

Lat's going about this the right way. After all, I can say that the Katten Kreep did get another job.....

Naw, Lat just feels guilty about outing Maury at Strook for his meltdown email.

http://abovethelaw.com/2007/05/what_the_stroock_is_going_on.php

http://abovethelaw.com/2007/05/one_stroock_and_hes_out.php

Just the best ALT associate story ever. And the comments are FUNNY.

One Stroock and He's Out?
Thursday, May 10, 2007 2:22 PM - By David Lat

That's what some of you were wondering with respect to Maury B. Saiger, the associate at Stroock & Stroock & Lavan in New York, who sent out a now infamous email yesterday. After we posted his email, his bio disappeared from the Stroock website. Had he been fired?

No. Maury Saiger's bio is back online. Our sources at Stroock tell us that they are not aware of any adverse employment action being taken with respect to Mr. Saiger.

But we do hear that the firm's Executive Committee threw a s**t fit yesterday, after we posted Saiger's email. There were some very unhappy campers at Stroock yesterday.

More about the fallout from this episode appears after the jump.

Our sources at Stroock advise us as follows:

1. Yesterday the Executive Committee, just like Maury Saiger, completely lost its s**t. Within two hours of our post, the Executive Committee convened to discuss the incident.
2. The Executive Committee quickly briefed the Associate Committee. Every office of the firm then held all-associate meetings.

3. According to the discussions at these meetings, with respect to the alleged conflict of interest described by Maury Saiger:

(a) the firm was already aware of a potential conflict;

(b) an investigation is currently underway; and

(c) no improprieties have taken place thus far.

4. At these meetings, associates were advised of the Executive Committee's great displeasure over this matter. Okay, let's not mince words: members of the EC were apparently "pissed" or "livid."

Now, we are not crisis-management experts. And we realize that the powers-that-be at Stroock are probably not interested in hearing our advice.

But, for what it's worth, here's our advice to the Stroocksters: You need to chillax. ASAP.

Look, this will all blow over eventually. In the meantime, you should probably just ignore it. If you call more all-associate meetings, conduct witch hunts for our sources, or otherwise make a big deal over this, you will only make matters worse.

(Of course, if you would like to make some public comment on this, please contact ATL. We would be delighted to receive an official statement from the firm, which we would post in its entirety on this site. Thanks!)

Earlier: What the Stroock Is Going On?

Well done, 3:00.

And I'ma go So Opposite of soft
Off The Richter
Hector Camacho Man Randy Savage

this just in............a Skadden SA has pile-drived Mr. Flom in the Four Seasons pool. the yougn's smell blood.........

3:11

Not quite right. While the NBA does have a salary cap, it is only a soft cap. The criticism of the Celtics isn't valid, but their willingness to exceed the cap was why they were able to trade for Kevin Garnett and sign him to a large extension. The unwillingness of most teams to take on Pau Gasol's contract was a major factor in why the Lakers were able to trade for him.

I received confirmation from a friend at Schulte - this story is legit

I'm curious has to what SRZ summer event this happened at? Was it the yankee game? or something else entirely?

From Flom to Flotsom. Not quite Aquagirl, but I like it.

This is true. I also heard it from a friend at SRZ. But it would still be funny even if it were not true.

The firm could have killed the story by saying "this never happened" when contacted by Lat. Instead, they never responded.

Sounds like something a fratboy UVA grad would do.

3:05 its me

3:08 here -- my friend at Schulte just retracted his denial--the place is abuzz with the story

3:29

As a former UVa frat boy, I would take delight in giving a Yankees fan the stone cold stunner

I wish we had some clarification on the extent of the "headlock." The position of the partner's head is key. Did the SA merely put his arm around the partner's neck/shoulder area and pull him slightly closer? Or did he actually pull the partner's head down to the point where he could have administered a noogie (it's probably been decades since I've used that word).

I'm not sure the former, which isn't uncommon among guys, could accurately be called a headlock.

And is this partner a short guy? Short people are just asking to be put in headlocks.

First. ......Oh...... shit. Never mind.

Hey 2:24:

"BTW, next time you accuse the Yankees of buying a championship, check out the Celtics roster. Last to first through the shameless buying of your two best players over the summer."

Um, no -- the Celtics TRADED FOR Garnett and Allen (who, by the way, aren't the "two best players" -- ever hear of Paul Pierce, Finals MVP) last summer. One could argue the trades were somewhat one-sided, but they gave up 8 players (including future superstar Al Jefferson and solid playoff starters Delonte West * Wally Sczcerbiak). Quite different than the Steinbrenner Brain Trust BUYING every top free agent and giving nothing up but money in return.

Typical uneducated moron Yankee fan.

AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3:42---"future superstar Al Jefferson" is the funniest line in this thread, and that's saying something. McHale gave you this title, and don't you forget it. No self-respecting fantasy league commish would have let the KG trade go through, but David Stern "mysteriously" did.

Allen and Garnett are better than Pierce. Pierce, had a good finals series but look how pathetic Boston was last year when he was the "star" player.

3:42, I bet you live in New York.

3:52, that is just silly.

Look how pathetic Minnesota was last year when Garnett was the star player. Look how pathetic Seattle was when Allen was the star player.

Allen is a distant 3rd to Pierce and KG. Allen looked old often during the playoffs (though a very strong Finals) and has played his last All-Star Game for sure -- PP and KG have good years ahead.

They also gave up Gomes, who some think is more valuable than Jefferson.

Looks like the Stroock guy from last year is gone now.

3:50:

Anyone who actually watches the NBA knows Al Jefferson will be a stud in this league (23 yrs old, averaged 21 pts and 11 rebounds) Call the trade a McHale gift, put it paled in comparison to Pau Gasol being gift-wrapped by Memphis for the Lakers for not a single good player, so it all evened out for the Finals.

3:52: Stunning logic -- Pierce is worse than Garnett and Allen because the Celts were pathetic with only Pierce. And the Sonics were pathetic with only Allen. And the T-Wolves were pathetic with only Garnett.

Jefferson is a legit 20-10 guy who, admittedly, does not play any defense whatsoever. Also, as pointed out the Celts gave up Gomes who can be valuable. Al Jeff, if and when paired, with a defensive minded center such as Marcus Camby, will really take off.

The celts trade for Garnett was as fair as you can get when you are trading a superstar. This would of course be in contrast to the Gasol trade which was akin to highway robbery...

2:43 --

You're seriously missing out. Pro wrestling is waaaaaay underrated. Beefsticks too.

I am rather bothered by how the posts have turned towards the direction of a poor man's sports chatroom and away from the WWE/Slim Jim angle.

Come on, this guy was a summer associate at a big law firm. He was clearly slapping the partner into the Million Dollar Dream.

3:11 -
"i agree that boston fans who accuse the yankees of buying pennants are hypocrites--but only because the sox have the second highest payroll themselves."

Wrong -- Red Sox are #4 this year at $133mi, behind the Mets with $138mi, the Tigers with $139mi and the Yankees with a disgusting $209mi payroll.

bullsh!t for those saying the KG trade was fair...mchale didnt even get rondo in the deal, but was not only willing to give away KG for far below his value to his old pal ainge, but to also take ainge's headache telfair and the remainder of his contract of his hands...

Celtics fans: your team bought this championship lock, stock and barrel (as the Million Dollar Man used to say). You know it and we know it.

Stop hiding behind the "well, the Lakers did it too" semantics.

4:14 - Yet another genius with no idea what he's talking about. The remainder of Sebastian Telfair's contract was not an issue to the Celtics -- he's a free agent in 12 days when his current contract expires.

4:18, i dont have the K info in front of me, but i bet he was owed atleast 3 million last season for doing absolute jack sh!t which the twolves should never have been burdened to cover after surrendering someone of KG's ilk....not demanding rondo in that trade is irrefutable proof that mchale gave ainge a sweetheart, borderline collusive deal

4:14(2) - A championship is not "bought" when it is engineered through trades -- that's not semantics, that's a fact. The only free agents ("buying" talent) the Celtics signed were bargain-basement contributors like Posey, Cassell, Brown, and House.

It's amazing how stupid so many lawyers are. Legitimately moronic. I've heard better sports arguments from drunken ironworkers.

Let me be the first to say Go Giants!!

What was that record again? 18-1?

And the Celtics will absolutely stink in two years.

4:22 - sorry, you're wrong. Telfair is undeniably a head case with a bad rap sheet, but he and Rondo arguably had equally good 07-08 seasons, with Rondo just playing on a far better team:
Telfair - 9.3ppg - 5.9 apg - 1.85 TOs pg
Rondo - 10.2ppg- 5.1apg - 1.91 TOs pg

Not getting Rondo and getting Telfair, who behaved himself well in Minnesota this year, certainly doesn't amount to highway robbery of any sort.

Actually, it was 18-1 with an * for caught cheating.

4:28....what about the rebound and stls stats breakdown? and the fact that this was rondo's second season and telfair's, what, 4th? rondo is the far superior player going forward. also not asking for perkins instead of gerald green (lulz) is also incredibly dubious.
just face it, mchale being an ex-celtic and ainge's boy, is the reason why the celtics won it.

Way to ruin an entertaining discussion with your private little spat about basketball.

Jealous
Ones
Still
Envy

Titletown is a marvelous place to live.

quoting fat joe? i knew this site was going downhill, but.. thats crossing a line. i am out of here.

Thank God for the Giants, or else Boston would own championships in the 3 major sports this year (and in college football even Boston College had a #2 ranking at one point, oy!)

This whole Celtics bought the championship argument kind of misses the point. Regardless of how they obtained KG and Allen, I think it says something about those guys and Pierce that they were immediately able to play together as a team. Typically, one would think that such a sea change in talent would need some time to gel especially given the competition, but the Celtics came together, which says something about the character of these guys. The Yankees of 1996, 1998-2000 had a real team because of the character of the players like O'Neill, Brosius, etc. Most of the current Yankees (save for Jeter, Mo, Pettite), don't have that kind of character and that's why they won't win. Plus their starting pitching is lousy.

Did we forget that a kid beat up a partner here? I want names, family history, and future occupation this kid plans on holding. Lets bash this guy to death, because if we don't, we have to go back to work.

4:22(2) -- before you insult others, you should perhaps make sure you understand the relevant subject matter.

Whether you trade for a high-salaried player (and assume his existing contract) or sign him as a free agent does not make any difference for purposes of your payroll (stop....let that sink in for a minute). At the end of the day, you have a roster of highly paid talent that most other teams in the NBA cannot assemble for fear of triggering the NBA's luxury tax.

You have heard of the luxury tax, right? It is paid by high spending teams whose payroll exceeds a predetermined level (and, yes, without regard to whether a team acquired a player via trade or as a free agent).

I hope you don't seriously think that NBA trades are made in regards to exchanges of talent only. They are driven to a large extent by existing player contracts, the remaining term of such contracts and amounts payable thereunder.

In case you haven't guessed already, the Celtics were one of only a handful of teams that triggered the luxury tax this year. But I suppose you already knew that....

4:44-damn right-HANG HIM! HANG HIM!

3:57, OR the Stroock guy could be studying for the bar exam this sumer, along with the rest of his summer classmates.

personally, i think that perhaps becoming a biglaw partner wasn't the Iron Sheikh's best career move.

SRZ summers to Intercontinental Championships!

All of you dopes who have caused this thread to deteriorate into arguments about the fifth-rate NBA (behind the NFL, MLB, MLS and NHL, in that order) - - I'm going to find you, knock your asses out cold with the DDT and then dump Damien the python on you.

Kind regards,
Jake "The Snake" Roberts

Never again should a people starve in a world of plenty. The Yankees payroll has killed 1 million babies. The partner deserved his rear Chancellery.

This would never happen at Cravath.

Guys in my high school used to put eachother in headlocks and call eachother names all the time. It was no big deal.

may be he wanted to challenge block resnar.

re: 3:17(1): as the redaction in the quote is in parentheses, not brackets, I assumed it was the tipster who protected our collective sensibility.

The whole SRZ incident just proves one of the cardinal rules of summer associate social events -- these people are not your friends- they are just colleagues.

Jake the Snake rules.

First

SRZ makes big $$$ but is really a TTT for treatment of associates. Partners treat associates like crap even for Biglaw. Question their recruitment decision to hire such a summer. Only wonder what the interviews were like.

story's all wrong.

I used to work there, think he's done for. Talked to a few people and the story is true.

If you are going to go, go big!

I hope this is true, that'd be awesome. But who would grab a stranger like that? Especially a law student, I'd think he'd be worried about C&F or assault charges. But then again, alcohol does strange things to people.

I heard that this guy hopes to get fired so he can take a job with the Mets, but he wants to walk away from Schulte with people saying, 'Wow, now that guy got canned!"

I am not at SRZ, but if I had to guess, it's not that he thought the person was a "stranger", but rather part of the SRZ "family", and likely thought he was just another summer associate. Still completely inappropriate, but probably just another example of a summer forgetting that despite the pretense of informality, it is still a work setting.

5:45: even Paul Bearer knows that there's a space in between "each" and "other." Tombstone for you.

Yeah--this would never happen at Cravath for several reasons.

1) Partners are too busy, too, godlike or too important to attend SA events

2) By nature, many/most CSM partners are freakshows socially (with a few fun exceptions--Woolery, Tavzel, Herold leap to mind)

3) Most CSM partners look haggard by the time they make partner due to many years of working late with difficult colleagues, so there'd be no mistaking them for a young associate

4) In all my years at Cravath, even when they had the "take the indigent kids to the Yankees game" event, I never saw anyone in a jersey EVER

3) Ditto to 2) except substitute "summer associates" for "partners" (Exception: there are a few/some fun associates, they just never stay long enough to make partner because they occasionally want to celebrate their birthdays, attend friends' weddings or even see their spouses, and thus tire of CSM life)

So apparently some of the summers need to vent their testosterone... do I smell inter-firm SA wrestling in the future?

Glad there's at least ONE story this summer... I'm guessing the stories are down because a) summers are panicked about the market and working instead of partying, and b) firms are panicked about the market and not spending tons of money to get summers crazy drunk this year.

As for our summers, all I know is they are working hard and doing a good job, with nothing juicy to say about them. So far, I'm pretty sure they're all getting offers.

"Even assuming the guy was another associate and not a partner, it is not particularly smart to insult the Yankees at a NY office. I don't what is wrong with Red Sox fans. I wouldn't go to Boston and start insulting the Red Sox but they think they have the right to go to NY and insult our team.

BTW, next time you accuse the Yankees of buying a championship, check out the Celtics roster. Last to first through the shameless buying of your two best players over the summer. "

Actually - the Yankees are hated all across the country, not just in Boston. Oh, and the Celtics TRADED for Garnett and Allen. The same way that the Knicks trade for talent... well, not exactly the same way, but you get my point.