What can I say, except FIRST.

The execution could be better (some are insanely cheesy, and I'm mildly disturbed by the mom pimping out her kids), but the idea itself isn't bad.

I noticed at least one profile with no photo or a "Meet ___" link, so it appears to be optional.

Man the senior partner REALLY lets his hair down in the forest with his chain saw kakis and button down shirt.

I like it. I think it actually makes lawyers seem...dare I sy it? Human.

How very droll..

So funny!

i was totally expecting carolyn to be dressed as a dominatrix.

http://www.vwlawfirm.com/attorneys/carolyncoward.php

i would have sex with barbie, in the cook uni.

I also love the "guity pleasure" section. One of the attorneys' guilty pleasure is "the beach." Not sure why he is guilty about that one.

Where's Marla Adams' photos? None show up on my computer. Ergo, the "[a]ll attorneys have dual photos" comment" is misleading.

I was excited by the link to the attorney's "v-card," though was disapointed to find out was merely a virtual business card.

Absolutely hilarious, whether intentional or not. What good sports.

LOL at 12:22

I kind of like it. Imagine the hours of entertainment if all firms had this feature on their website. You would never be bored again!

I guess Law firm web designers are bored, too.

I agree with 12:16(1 & 3). It's a nice idea, and I think they basically pull it off.

I have already sent this to members of the HR department of my firm. Its a wonderful recruiting tool for Biglaw - make incoming associates believe we have more time for other pursuits than we really do... Until its too late!

I like it!

"The Van Winkle Law Firm has assembled a team of attorneys with a combination of education and experience unsurpassed in Western North Carolina. Each of these professionals shares a commitment to his and her practice and profession. "

Boy -- how's that for a glowing description of your firm's talent? Enough qualifiers on there don't you think? IOW, our "education" nor our "experience" are unsurpassed. They only are if you add them both together. We're only talking about WESTERN North Carolina -- just so there is no claiming that we said anything about surpassing the entire state. blah, blah, blah

Check on Suzannah Plemmons. She is H-O-T (and she cooks too!!)

this is absolutely adorable.

Who is the biker dude? When I click on his picture, it doesn't take me anywhere.

Suzannah P can be my lawyer any day.....as long as she cooks me some food after the settlement.

Philip Sneed clearly was NOT amused by this whole charade.

editing 12:40(2) -- Albert Sneed

Suzannah looks like a tasty tart .. I mean ... she looks like she could cook a tasty tart!

I'd like to meet Kristin. She is adorable, and has great taste in vacation spots.

I submit that the firm is using body doubles for the action shots. It is clearly obvious that all of the action shot models are different sizes than the true lawyer.

this firm is the very nature of a sweatshop, trying to deceive the likes of potential laterals and other recruits!

I think a more realistic photograph of Michael would have shown him at a buffet.

holy shit. that is the worst thing I have ever seen in my life.

Sweatshop! How dare you 1246 - if you look at the benefits page for new hires, they give provide for a reduced membership to Sam's Club! Now, you tell me, what "sweatshop" offers those kind of perks?

I think it is a decent idea for a firm in a small market.

1248: while Sam's club is a significant perk, they used fine print at the bottom of the list:

"All of our benefits and policies are subject to change at any time."

This language is conclusive proof that they are indeed a sweatshop!

12:19

Maybe it means that the guilty pleasure is the Leonardo DiCaprio movie "the Beach"? Certainly guiltier than just going to a beach yourself.

I'm seriously creeped out by Tennis Ken.

This could have saved folks at Kasowitz a lot of trouble.

Lawyer Pitcock. / Harasser Pitcock

P.S.
if you want a truly amazing place to work in NC, go to this firm:

http://www.hierosgamos.org/hg/db_lawfirms.asp?action=page2&pcomp=21507

~12:54/46

Disclaimer: A friend told me about this firm, but he said it was off the chains!!! Especially structured finance!

I love that Armistead "Army" Long chose to pose with a firearm. Inspired.

12:59(1), LMAO

I can just imagine the photo for Harasser Pitcock.

Ugh, I want to bid on them at OCI but they're not there! My school is so TTT

Do these guys really all tuck their shirts in when they go camping/hiking/play guitar? That sort of defeats the whole purpose of showing them "unwinding." Or is that you want a lawyer who knows how to have fun but still stays tucked in at all times?

Also, what's with all of the cyclist guys? Could they not think of anything better and all copied one another? Is cycling the code for "don't have any activities outside of the office"? Or maybe they all ride together? Are these like the guys who eat lunch together every day for the last 34 years? Seriously, what's the deal?

Tennis Ken looks like they took the head from Lawyer Ken and photo shopped it onto some other dude playing tennis.

Do these guys really all tuck their shirts in when they go camping/hiking/play guitar? That sort of defeats the whole purpose of showing them "unwinding." Or is that you want a lawyer who knows how to have fun but still stays tucked in at all times?

Also, what's with all of the cyclist guys? Could they not think of anything better and all copied one another? Is cycling the code for "don't have any activities outside of the office"? Or maybe they all ride together? Are these like the guys who eat lunch together every day for the last 34 years? Seriously, what's the deal?

1:12 (2) is right this is completely bogus .. and the cooking lady lost two inches .. what a bunch of posers

Interests: Tennis Ken's legs.

hopefully pitcock goes to vw law, would love to see the "Meet Jeremy" page.

Suzannah P definitely needs to get on that hot lawyers site in her cooking outfit.

Favorite Food : Shrimp and grits

Agree with 12:16 and others that this kind of works. It gives you a bit of a sense of the person (even if it is fictitious) far beyond what you would get from a list of "representative matters" or the standard bio.

O.E. Starnes (Tennis Ken):

Guilty Pleasures: Playing when I could be working.

That's messed up...

Rockstar Jeff Zentner is pretty hot.

How'd you not feature Armistead "Army" Long?

http://www.vwlawfirm.com/attorneys/armisteadlong.php

Meet Roy Davis. When he's not at the office Roy enjoys wielding a chainsaw, wearing human skin masks, tucking his genitals between his legs and moving furniture in his van.

Favorite Music: Goodbye Horses

Favorite Food: Butterfly larvae, liver and fava beans

Special Abilities: He can smell your c--t

Mark Pinkston's third child--the one in his arms--looks weird. Must be inbred.

Did Mark piss his pants?

Im a biker and an attorney...does that make me crazy?

Stupid ATL stereotypes. Do you know how much rain I make when I go to bikeweek?

1:48: I agree. Most of the guys I see on bikes fall into three groups - dirtbags, wannabe gangbangers, and rich white guys who missed out on a wild youth. Good idea on your part.

I'd get a bike too . . . if my wife would let me. Very biker . . .I know.

I think this is great for a smaller firm. Way to go showing their human side.

1:53 - I got mine in law school. My car flooded in a freakish 18 inch rainstorm in DC in July of 04, two weeks before school started. Since I went to U of AZ and had 350 days of sunshine, $2,000 of student loans went to my still only form of transportation.

I didn't see necessity as one of your three classifications.

12:56, damn you. you beat me to it by an hour.

I like the idea. Some of it is kind of silly, like the chainsaw khakis, but for a law firm in North-Freaking-Carolina, not bad at all. I want my firm here in easygoing LA to take this idea to the next level it deserves. My "action" shot would feature me flipping off the camera, complete with fire engine red hair and multiple tattoos and piercings, and my "Guilty Pleasure" would be "Sabotaging the Man from within"

C'mon! Let me be the real me!!

Bwahahahahaha!

Armistead "Army" Long likes organic gardening . . . damn hippie . . .

Lawyer Ken and Tennis Ken both look like a drawing in a matt groening comic.

I think they pulled this off . . . much more interesting than my firm's website.

enjoys ... watching professional bowling and public hearings on TV.

12:44--high five, Kristen is damn cute

Reminder--lawyers should not do full-body shots.

Otherwise well-done. I wish my firm would do this. It would be interesting to see how a "character photo" could convey my interest in big fake titties.

Carolyn looks great in her running gear. The work clothes add about 20 years to her appearance.

Favorite Movie "Clockwork Orange"

Alright it is a great flick but you really want to share that with the world, that of all cinema, that movie is the pinnacle.

Hobbies: Getting a bit of the old ultra violence on opposing counsel?

This is rediculous. I just flipped through some of these and what stood out was that most of the women are pictured with their children, while all but one of the men are pictured alone (the Mormon guy includes his family). Just reinforces sexist attitudes in my opinion. Clients don't need to see this stuff.

12:47(1)--lame. Dude's not obese or anything, and even if he were, why be a dick?

Biker dude is Harris.

At least one other firm does stuff like this: Hangley Aronchick in Philly has a "hearsay and heresies" link on some attorneys' bios:

http://www.hangley.com/index.cfm//bNodeID/58135840-c29b-42e8-b20a-6075f65f75f2/personID/2D6B0502-4993-465C-B2DD-133A167A39F5/fuseaction/people.viewHASP

12:59(1) & 1:02. just too funny

2:34:

1) You must be new to this site.

2) If he was "obese," then the buffett joke would be a dick move. The guy is over 220 pounds, if he is taller than 5"5. Maybe that is normal in the south, but if you get to the coasts, that is big.

2:44--I've been reading this site for more than a year. Maybe it's just me, but I don't think that being mildly overweight calls for a mean-spirited joke.

-2:34

Can't we just go back to making fun of Harvard LLM's? That was like shooting fish in a barrel.

That Craig Justice is so H-O-T - he can tell me all about General Lee's escapades 24/7!!!

3:03: Really? He's built like a woman with wide hips? Also, look at the way he's holding himself. Very woman-like. I'm thinking post-op tranny.

This is where UNC law gets you. God UVA kicks ass.

I think he's hot. I guess it's easy to throw stones when you're anonymous -- classy.

Is it wrong for me to say that this is just a-freaking-dorable???? Its so earnest and down-homey. I want to move to NC to work with these people and eat bbq.

He's fat and probably has a brother named Cletus and a mother who is only 10 years older than him.

He's actually one of the better looking ones. Nice NC dig, though.

So cute! I love it!

I think it'd be awesome if you clicked on one of the guys and it showed him like.. riding his wife like a bicycle, or all dressed up in a Nazi uniform, or wearing a hockey mask and stabbing someone... or poopin' in a hat. Yeeeeeah. Poopin' in a hat.

3:54: Awesome. "Robert Van Winkle enjoys having female associates choke him while he masturbates."

Poopin' in a hat.

That says it all.
No more firsties. From now on, first poster has to say "poopin' in a hat".

And BTW, this was pretty cool and tastefully done.

If my firm had a website like this, my "professional" picture would have me at my desk working. My "personal" picture would have me at my desk working but it would be dark outside.

My favorite is J. Kelso, he's so cute. He likes okra, which means he has good taste in vegetables.

That Albert Sneed really lets his hair down in his private life.

Based on their bikes, PPP at Van Winkle must not be great. Partners shouldn't have to settle for anything less than full carbon.

ahaha dangit, 4:24 PM beat me to mentioning Albert Sneed, who apparently never leaves the office
http://www.vwlawfirm.com/attorneys/albertsneedinfo.php

Also, if you look up the address of the firm's main office on 11 North Market Street, Asheville, NC 28801 you will find that the cross street is "Lawyers Walk"

Is that a thing? Maybe it's across from the courthouse or something, but really that seems more like designating an official red light district or something.

4:24, just beat me to it. LOL

2:33, I'm a feminist and I see sexism just about freaking everywhere (because it exists just about freaking everywhere), but you're totally off-base and I question if you even looked through more than a few of the profiles. I counted more men than women pictured with their kids (in addition to one guy pictured with his wife).

ATL's choice to pick out the most sexist of the bunch (Chef Barbie) is just ATL being sexist. But not the firm. I'm more weirded out by the fact that almost everyone at that firm is married with kids. Life certainly is different inland...

WOW- Esthers' favorite movie is The Goonies Wat the fuck! That movie sucked at 13. She needs to get laid or something.

best. bios. ever.

i love this. i am sooooooo hoping they do OCI on my campus. ill appear in my S&M gear.

It isn't ATL being sexist, you moron. ATL highlighted those profiles because they were among the funnier entries.

You must have graduated HLS.

Barbie can cook my dinner any time... please.

I wonder what they would do if I depicted myself doing what I really do in my copious free time (passing out with a half-empty bottle of whiskey on the floor of my apartment).

-2:34,

He is not just "mildly overweight." He might be at a buffett or Weight Watchers meeting. Listen, community standards differ. If he is only "mildly overweight," I am a supermodel. Where is the catwalk?

http://www.vwlawfirm.com/attorneys/michaelthompson.php

"Mildly overweight" or fat?

i like these! i think it's cute.

exactly, 5:49. i don't believe these wholesome "meet" pages. where's the Meet page with a lawyer in a bar drinking hard liquor alone?

also, these guys are in asheville, NC. where's the guy rolling joints?

Regardless of the ratio, how exactly is it "sexism" when the women presumably choose to be pictured with their kids rather than, say, on a Harley? Goddamn misogynist women, choosing to pursue their own form of happiness rather than what the uptight elite "feminists" of the world prescribe for them.

John Kelso is smokin' hot.

What exactly is Cindy's interest? being rich?

8:15 - John Kelso looks like a little boy dressed up in daddy's suit.

also:

8:15 = John Kelso.

+1 to the john kelso fanclub.

Oh noes. 5:42 called me a moron. That must mean he wins!!

I think it's great - lawyers that actually have lives and a sense of humor.

I'm not from Asheville, but if you've been there, you know it is one of the coolest little spots in the U.S. with arts, culture, great food, coffee shops, bookstores, music and unbelievable natural beauty.

And definitely no one that sits around and reads lawyer blogs....

Kudos to you, VW law firm.

4:14 = my hero. I have the same bio pic.

agreed and agreed to 4:14's heroic wisdom

Dude--There's a weird looking guy named "Army" with a gun pointed at me who's from West Virginia who recently moved to Appalachia country of North Carolina from Texas.

Is this the same casting director who cast someone named "Pitcock" as a horny sex fiend?

How funny. I went to law school at OleMiss with cooking barbie

Sorry that you all hate your lives so much that you envy others for having time for hobbies...

If your firm had a hobby shot would it be a picture of your fat, disheveled self hunched over a computer typing in snide comments on a blog? Wow, that'd be a great recruiting tool!

So what is the deal with Anna Mills' hair? Looks like she has some sort of helmet on or something. And what a huge nose. Why is reading the Wall Street Journal and listening to sports radio a guilty pleasure. Don't these people have a life?

In what universe would they put something under "guilty pleasure" on their firm's page that wasn't intentionally completely benign? It's a website for their potential clients, not a myspace profile. Although perhaps you'd personally feel more at home if they had pictures of themselves making 15-year old kissy faces for the camera and long-winded blog entries about how the people they dislike just, like, need to get lives already, and are like, soo ugly with big noses!!11!!

#71 & #96 Your roasts would be more effective if you learned how to spell.

#71 & #96 Your roasts would be more effective if you learned how to spell.