Jonathan Lee Riches Wants in on Gitmo Litigation
(And Enron litigation, and Duke litigation…)
Everyone’s favorite wacky pro se litigant, federal prisoner Jonathan Lee Riches, is at it again. He recently filed a motion to intervene (PDF) in Hamdan v. Rumsfeld, claiming that he has “a common interest with Hamdan” because he’s being tortured and starved by Donald Rumsfeld. In support, Riches cites the fact that he weighs only 121 pounds, despite being 5’10”. Maybe he should become a male model after completing his sentence?
Considering that Riches files a new lawsuit every week, keeping track of his litigation adventures can be a challenge. If you’d like to stay on top of his burgeoning legal career, do what we did, and join his Facebook fan club.
A screencap of Riches’s Hamdan motion, plus links to some of his other filings — a motion to intervene in a case against Enron, which he claims is violating his Eighth Amendment rights, and a lawsuit against Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski, whom he blames for his hard mattress and resulting back pain — after the jump.
Riches’s Hamdan filing appears below. We contacted Professor Neal Katyal, counsel to Hamdan, to see if he had any reaction to Riches’s motion. Professor Katyal had no comment.
Jonathan Lee Riches’s Motion To Intervene as Plaintiff: Hamdan v. Rumsfeld [PDF]
Jonathan Lee Riches’s Motion To Intervene as Plaintiff: Newby v. Enron Corp. [PDF]
Complaint: Riches v. Krzyzewski [PDF]
Sue-pergroup: the Jonathan Lee Riches © fanclub [Facebook]
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Comments
SWEET
Love the handwritten motion on lined paper. Who is this guy, seriously?
Like so many great artists, Riches' earliest work is his best work. His lawsuit against Michael Vick for dog theft is classic:
http://www.abovethelaw.com/2007/07/lawsuit_of_the_day_vicks_a_def.php
Go JLR!
Go JLR!
read the coach K lawsuit if you haven't yet -- it's only 5 lines long. it's pretty good.
What I would like to know is how federal prisioners have internet access. (3 free squares a day, no pesky phone calls, no deadlines, no worries + tennis + internet access + unlimited pro se lawsuits? Fed custody is looking mighly attractive.)
Second, does the DCA tolerate Riches for his amusement value?
He'll fit in well at AU or Fordham once he's done his time.
ever visit a federal prison? I have. No worries is hardly accurate. Piled with 3-5 other men in a cell the size of a generous walk-in closet is the tip of the iceberg
Seriously, why hasn't Duke gotten this guy a friggin pillow and a blanket yet?!?!!??
Thursday, July 10, 2008 3:09 PM:
Specifically, what worries does the typical Club Fed inmate have?
He could be a male model - he has the right bone structure.
He could also get a job as a comedy writer.
3:11 --
With the dramatic increase in federal drug statutes and resulting increase in federal drug felony convictions, you can start with prison gangs and related activity.
Regards,
3:09
I'm disappointed that the great JLR no longer refers to himself as "Jonathan Lee Riches©"
Club Fed? Dude, you have clearly never been to jail in any capacity.
Club Fed? Dude, you have clearly never been to jail in any capacity but especially as a 5'10 121 pound white kid.
I don't understand, what does the Duke have to do with his back ache and cold?
Maybe 121-pound Jonathan Lee Riches can share some of his dieting tips with Judge Halverson.
Maybe 121-pound Jonathan Lee Riches can share some of his dieting tips with Judge Halverson.
The Coach K lawsuit is the best: "I have no pillow and mattress in solitary. My neck hurts and [Coach K] won't help with my back pain."
But all he wants is $13.7 million. Anyone know why he picked Coach K?
"I seek $13.7 million and a blanket 'cause I'm freezing." LOL
Thursday, July 10, 2008 3:25 PM:
"Dude, you have clearly never been to jail in any capacity."
Well. yes I have.
In 1983, I (as a criminal defense attorney in a small wine country town) was pulled over, quickly surrounded by cops (all of whom I had cross-examined) and arrested for DUI.
I spent 6 hours in custody. (The charges were later dismissed, and the DMV ordered on a mandamus petition to reinstate my driving privilege, based on testimony by the bartender (before the stop that I drank only club soda and was not intoxicated) and the corrections officer who booked me (no smell of alcohol, speech fine, eyes clear--after a superior court judge found the cops testilied.)
In my capacity as a (former) criminal lawyer I have probably spent a cumulative 1000 hours visiting felony clients in just about every jail and joint in N. California, including the Napa County Jail (from which I had 3 clients separately escape in a 10 day period, and a 4th female armeed robbery client kick through a partition to access the men's side of the jail, where she had her "fill" of 6 guys in a tank the night before her transfer to Fontana), the Solano Count jail facilities in Vallejo and Fairfield, the CC County jail in Martinez, the Oakland down town jail, Santa Rita’s notorious Grey Stone facility (now closed), and “joints” like Tracy, San Quentin, Folsom, and others.
I have had the pleasure of trying to interview an in custody client during a lock down, cajoling my way into the security cell (because I knew both of the black vs. white protagonists and promised to quell the situation-which I did) and have the urine they had thrown at each other leech through my loafers, resulting in whet socks and feet.
So, I ask you again, what is “worrisome” about a Club Fed?
Seriously, how can you not love this guy. He's funnier than most of the writers for SNL now.
4:06 = JLR.
it really depends on the kind of Fed prison you're in.
white-collar resort = no worries.
federal pound-me-in-the-ass prison = worries (should be self-explanatory)
and honestly 4:06, the fact that there exist really bad state prisons is irrelevant to the experience of life in a federal prison.
I was simply responding to the claim that I have never visited a lock-up in any capacity, and my original point WAS directed at so called “Club Fed” facilities.
According to a Justia ,Federal District Court Filings Search, Riches has filed over 1,800 pro se lawsuits.
See this link:
http://dockets.justia.com/search?q=JONATHAN+LEE+RICHES
Now THAT is awesome.
4:06 here again --
After re-reading these comments, I took the past 1/2 hour to research conditions in federal prisons (admittedly limited to Google news searches). While I'm fairly well informed about state "joints," I guess I did speak too soon about federal custody: it's no piece of cake. I just got worked up over JLR and posted rashly. Sorry.
4:06 --
We were simply talking past each other. Given the unenviable choice of federal or state custody, sign me up for federal for sure, and I'm sure you would agree.
-3:09
Wow - semi-civilized polite and factually supported and researched conversation - what has happened here???
5:46 -- I think I might know. Someone POSING as 4:06 wrote the conciliatory comment. I think I know the real 4:06 (those facts sound eerily familiar), and he would never take that same tack. I'm pretty sure The Real 4:06 would furiously debate a toddler on whether or not Mrs. Butterworth can actually talk.
July 10, 2008 5:13 PM was NOT me.
However, the claim that I "would furiously debate a toddler on whether or not Mrs. Butterworth can actually talk" is of course an exaggeration to make a point.
Yes, 3:09 we were simply talking past each other, and I would agree.
hey 2:32-- he might be clarence gideon reborn. that petition? also handwritten on lined paper.
http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/3093939.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=552D90A84D8CF980895D3F4A06AE9DA0A55A1E4F32AD3138
i would debate a four year old that mrs butterworth can talk. and id win.
Is he trying to make a bid for the loony bin? Or time off for annoyingly amusing behavior?
Guys in my high school used to file absurd pro se complaints all the time, it's no big deal
Guys in my high school used to file absurd pro se complaints all the time, it's no big deal
I used to extern for the pro se department at the district court and I'm a little disappointed I never came across this guy :(
Did get plenty of other awesome, handwritten briefs though
glad to see more JLR© on here; he really is my favourite pro se litigant ever.
...and thanks for linking to my facebook group! :D
interesting you mention male modeling...in several of his lawsuits, he actually refers to being a male model for mainline models in king of prussia, pennsylvania [no, i'm not making this up!], and attaches "modeling pictures" in the lawsuits to show how he used to look before prison starved him.