‘Tighty-Whities’ Caption Contest Finalists
We’re currently running a caption contest for the photo at right. We’re not the only ones with an ongoing legally-themed caption contest. If one flips to the back of the current infamous New Yorker issue, the cartoon for their caption contest (Contest #153) is set in a courtroom. We’ll keep an eye on that contest, and issue an opinion on the finalists when they are announced.
We prefer not to give you the context for caption contest photos, but the background on this one is as exposed as the lawyer in the photo. It’s up on Yahoo! News, the WSJ Law Blog, and the ABA Journal, among other places. It got more publicity over the weekend, with the news that David Remes, the pants-dropping partner in the picture, is leaving Covington & Burling (as reported by the Legal Times; see also the WSJ, via New York magazine).
We’re pushing on with the contest, since we had over 200 entries. These are our finalists:
A. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’ll be brief…”B. “Million Dollar Pants Lawsuit: Part 2”
C. “Ya know, John, I think the school board had something else in mind when they asked for an assembly on the how the penal system works.”
D. “Having been found guilty of malpractice, the lawyer literally had his pants sued off.”
E. “Another unsuccessful effort to get ‘junk’ science before the jury.”
F. “And now my junior partner has something he’d like to say…”
G. “[Y]our honor, i thought you said you wanted to take a closer look at the briefs.”
H. “You think that jury was hung?”
I. “Counsel, the phrase ‘may it please the court’ is NOT a literal request.”
J. “Other Van Winkle Law Firm partners have expressed concern that Joe represented his favorite extracurricular activity a little too enthusiastically in his ‘Meet Joe’ bio photo.”
Earlier: ATL Caption Contest: Tighty-Whities
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is it 'a' or 'g'
All of those suck.
first to second first
Seriously, there were WAY better submissions than those.
I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH 1:54. WHAT ABOUT "AND NOW FOR MY SURPRISE WITNESS?" OR THE CHRISTY BRINKLEY ONE?
J is really funny if you know the backstory.
"f" must be stuffing the ballot box.
"f" must be stuffing the ballot box.
K - None of the above. They all blow.
Can't believe this one didn't make it (and no, I'm not the author):
"And now, for my suprise witness..."
What about the "Michael! I'm wearing your underwear!" one? Cuba Gooding Jr. must be turning in his grave right now. Oh, Cuba's still alive?..........awkies.
H should be: "And you thought the jury was hung!"
Pls fix. Tks.
1st -- And now for my surprise witness
2nd -- And you thought the jury was hung!
Yep, there were a bunch on the original list that had me laughing out loud in my office.
The million dollar pants lawsuit ones were funny, as is the junior partner. But there were so many other good ones that didn't make the voting list.
Once again, the only thing this posts has succeeded in showing is lawyers, as a class, are entirely humorless.
P.S. I would have voted for "Here at Kalfus & Nachman, we won't stop until you get your settlement! Tell the insurance companies you...mean...business!"
Regardless, this has got to be embarrasing for Covington.
Everyone vote for A!!!!
go A.
none of the above...
F is gross and juvenile.
15 = TTT
15 = TTT ambulance chaser
F, all the way!!
K - None of the Above
Write-in: First-year Civ Pro prof demonstrates the amazing reach of the long-arm statute.
Yes, I am the author.
19, you picked out F as gross and juvenile? They're ALL juvenile, and several are gross -- that's the freaking point. When the picture is a guy in a pair of tight briefs you can't expect the captions to be elegant displays of writing prowess in iambic pentameter. Get off your moral/intellectual high horse and laugh a little.
I agree that there were much better ones in the original comments (e.g., "...and that's why Jeremy Pitcock isn't allowed to go to any more parent-teacher conferences.")
The REAL best captions (only a few of them ranked, the others still good):
1. That dude is packing some heat. I wonder what else Lat uses this photo for.
And now, for my suprise witness...
Plaintiff loses slander suit after jury finds that defendant's statement concerning plaintiff's "teeny subpoena" was true. Laughter ensued
Live from Zakynthos. . .
"In a show of support, Obama's press secretary taunts Jesse Jackson, telling the cameras, 'Hey Jesse, how about you come down here and rip my dick off - I dare you. You don't have the balls."
just to show the flint michigan people what is still legal here
As an AU grad, I am sufficiently far along in my career to soon afford pants.
5. Well, I confirm that representing Mr. Spitzer has been a challenge so far.
"I'm here for Bingham McCutchen Holiday Party..."
Justin Timberlake and Adam Samberg aint got jack on me. It won't even fit in a box.
To help ease the fears of the Summers, Recruiting Partner demonstrates what it would take to get no offered
3. Defendant presents his impossibility defense to court of public opinion.
2. Your honor, I am not entering it into evidence I am merely using it to refresh the witnesses recollection. Also, opposing counsel has inspected it several times, so I don't understand why she is objecting now!
4. "I think it's time this case came to a 'happy ending' - who wants the honors?"
These proffered finalists are terrible, Kash. Absolutely terrible. There were many other humorous and witty submissions. I vote "no confidence."
I'd forgotten about the refreshing-recollection one that #26 named above. That's hilarious! I'm disappointed that Kash didn't let it into the finalists...
Oh how I wish that C were phrased in the form of a TTT law school joke.
The only one in 26's post i lol'ed at was, "I'm here for Bingham McCutchen Holiday Party..."
Kash, when picking finalists in future caption contests, please keep in mind that puns are the lowest form of humor and should not be encouraged.
Come on guys "f" is definitely funny
F
By far
24, thanks, now I'm laughing -- at you!
No, 2:02, 'F' is not 'stuffing' anything. For those of us who get to witness the true dubious honor of being a junior partner, the analogy between a junior partner and a sernior partner's genitals is HIGHlarious
34, talk about juvenile comments...
i can't believe "surprise witness" didn't make the cut! that one made me laugh out loud.
I agree, 37
It's too bad some of the more clever responses didn't make the cut. Potty humor always seems to win out over actual insightful humorous observations about the law/industry/politics, here on ATL. Sigh, all the smart lawyers out there and still it's a race to the bottom.
Some Associates and I dropped acid off the Yemeni coast, and now we've got shit all figured out.
These are all pretty lame--who picked these? I'll vote F for....F.
A through J each got a layoff notice and are quite depressed
E F and J