Gentlemen at my preparatory academy used to assist the most insufferable pricks all the time. It was no big deal.

Fraternal Lothario

This has potential.

"One clerk began to make made" . . . wha?

Meh...I'm going to go back to arguing about fake lawyers. That's more interesting.

this judge wins an internet.

Blah, Lat you should have kicked F&D off too, what'd she get like 2 more votes then Exley? Save space for the decent writers

"bossal"?

+1 for Star Wars ref
+1 for 'bossal'

Still agree with commenter #1.

"bossal"?

Boo.

tip to aspiring writers: proofread

below average post

I'm liking the "welcome to Skadden" graphic. Not a bad post, though I am wearied by the fact that most of the contestants seem to be pawning off their "feature" obligations by merely collecting comments.

+1 for th picture, -10 for sucking

I hate to say it, but with these "finalist" jokers running things, ATL = TTT.

Terrible attempt at doing Fraternity Lothario, #2. He wouldn't say "pricks," and he doesn't say "it was no big deal."

ATL without Lat is Apple without Jobs, BH without Buffet. ATL will fail w/o Lat.

Shmeh

Collecting comments is lame. And seriously, who is going to post something good about an ex-boss? It'll just be a bunch of unverified crap with no names. Example:

"My boss at the McDonald's I worked at in high school used to make me clean our the frier. It made me smell really bad, so when he told me to do it on prom night I said no. So, he fired me."

Wow, thrilling. This is why I bothered to bookmark ATL.

You are relying too much on your readers to do the work for you. Sophist provided interesting (though fictional) comparisions and produced commentary on the topic. You're just asking us to shit all over partners.

C'mon, I don't even know you, and you want me to start roasting my past bosses? At least buy me a few drinks before you expect me to put out (figuratively speaking, of course).

I'll pass, thanks.

Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooring.

Please put some work into your posts next time!

#14, exactly - all the entries are just invitations to the readers to comment, share stories, etc. Of course, ATL does that too, and maybe that is actually what was intended for this phase of the contest.
I think Sophist did the best job with a comment-soliciting post by putting up some interesting material to get discussion started. Sophist also seems to read and adapt to what is said by posters, and makes a crack about how ATL readers like write-ins.

Judge Conlon is a joke. My boss once made me photocopy some pages.

A handful of sentences on the actual subject matter, and now you expect the readers to do the heavily lifting for you? Lazy and sign of a TTT

Lesson to #2:

Gents in preparatory academy oft compared managing partners of prominent law firms with Sith lords, all the while claptrapping about nothing of any substance at all, in an effort to obtain modest remuneration for doing more of the same in the future. It was not an conspicuous event.

Harumph harumph harumph.

- Fraternity Lothario

Guys in my high school used to be terrible bosses all of the time. It was no big deal.

I suppose my story is one similar to that PH attorney, Oh, although I at least didn't have a miscarriage. Still, after I got pregnant, my boss, Dr. Jekyl, who heretofore had been somewhat decent, turned into Mr. Hyde. Made my life a living hell while I was puking my guts out in the trashcan (my office was the furthest away from the bathrooms). when another female associate did have a miscarriage in her 5th month (no, not Oh), the boss didn't lighten up at all. I spent many hours at home crying to my husband about this guy, and if I could afford to quit, I would have.

Finally, when my blood pressure went up, my ob wrote a note saying I was limited to 6-8 hours of work a day. Boss acquiesed, but continued to make my life hell. I was a senior associate and he would make me run everything I wrote (even a 3 sentence letter) by him, which he'd subsequently completely rewrite then blame me for being a lousy writer (after praising my work before I got pregnant).

I couldn't wait to birth and get out of that place for three months, even though I would only get paid for two months. I wanted the max time with my baby, so I planned to work up to the day I gave birth. Nearly every week he'd nag me about when my last day was going to be and why didn't I schedule a C-section just to be convenient to him.

Needless to say, I'm no longer working there. Took a paycut, but found a much better place.

Last week, the one thing the judges (and commenters) seemed to agree on was that the postings were too long. F&D creates an entry that is short and succint, then gets slammed for not writing more? What does it take to please you people?

29 = Frolic & Detour

hmmm, interesting thought and execution, but i really doubt you're going to get a lot of responses on this. you can't expect people to both (1) name names and (2) give enough detail to make the stories interesting.

29 = Frolic & Detour

When I was a junior associate, we had a 6-week trial in a small county court. On the last day of the trial, the lead partner gave me about a dozen parking pickets ($5 apiece) to pay, along with $60. Partner didn't realize that failure to pay ticket in 48 hours turned it into a $25 ticket. I was forced to go to an ATM, make a large cash payment, and seek reimbursement. Partner told me to charge it to the client.

33 - only 48 hours to pay a parking ticket? That's ridiculous. Was this a small county court in Florida or Georgia, by any chance?

Fail.

I'd take 48 hours to pay a $5 ticket anytime over 30 days to pay (or fight) a $165 ticket, the going rate in NYC.

I was working as a paralegal about 9 years ago at an immigration law firm in Chicago. The other paralegals and I made about 27k per year. We knew the boss made a lot of money because we paid his credit card bills and other personal bills as part of our job. One day another paralegal was violently mugged and had her paycheck stolen. Our boss made her pay the $25 check cancellation fee before he would issue her another check.

Surprisingly, Sophist wins this round.

"Bossal" = awesome. Doesn't quite rival Dr. Nick's suggestion of "assal horizontology" however.

As an ATL comments newbie, can someone please explain the origins of the "guys in my high school used to _____ all the time; it was no big deal" line?

Many years ago a higher up at my firm was attempting to give a motivational speech about executing better. During the speech he brandished a rifle while attempting to make his point. I'm not sure how he managed to get security in the building to okay the gun, but he did. Needless to say people were freaked out and certainly missed the point the speaker was trying to make.

I recall a really shitty book on this subject written by one of Lat's friends, and shilled for on this blog when it came out.

37 - that's what direct deposit is for.

40:

Frat Stud is a commenter persona. What you posted was pretty much his whole routine. Anyone can post on his behalf.

Fart Stud and occassionally Fart Dust would appear. Haven't seen the Duster in a while...

The great Fraternity Lothario has since emerged. His posts end with "It was not a conspicuous event." Verily, yea, he is the finest of the bunch.

43-
If I remember right, it was her last paycheck and the boss had already cancelled her direct deposit.

42 - Chambermaid. Any chance Frolic is the author?

At this point, I am willing to take ANY ONE but the “schamazing” Marin.

Prefer Sophist, but no Marin PLEASE.

Is it really "bossal abuse" if the boss is the one doing the abusing? See, e.g., child abuse.

Great piece.

to be honest, this story isnt even that good. In hindsight, everyone now (except conspiracy nuts) that 9/11 was a terrorist attack. Back then, some just thought it was a freak accident or something. Maybe an attack, but we didn't know.

So really, its not so hard to believe a hard ass judge didn't think much of it. You've been working long enough, you have federal marshalls telling you all the time to evacuate because something happened. You get cold to it. I mean, I had an EE prof who still tought on 9/11 like nothing happened.

So yeah, not only is the post lame, the content is even lamer.

And 28, seriously, you should have quit as soon as you could and sued for title VII. It would have ended your career, but based on what you say, its basically an open and shut case. All you would need is a handful of emails from before getting pregnant and a handful from after showing a distinct drop in the way he treated you, and you easily get passed summary judgement.

But if you are happy now, I guess all is well. You should do more to disparage the firm though. That is rediculous. Was it the same firm as Oh or was it like Kirkland (who I heard from several female friends of mine basically asked if women were planning on getting pregnant any time soon DURING interviews)

bring back exley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Halverson told Spoor that she should not talk to the attorneys because she did not speak their language and that “they are crazy”.

My first job was at a 3-lawyer firm. Twice a month the junior of the two partners would come into my office with my handwritten paycheck, and put toss it on my desk saying, "Totally undeserved." He was joking, but you could tell it pained him to have to pay me.

My first job was at a 3-lawyer firm. Twice a month the junior of the two partners would come into my office with my handwritten paycheck, and toss it on my desk saying, "Totally undeserved." He was joking, but you could tell it pained him to have to pay me.

I echo the comment re: "bossal abuse" probably being incorrect. Unless the associate was abusing the partner.

Also, fyi, on 9/11, quite a few federal judges (and their staff) stayed despite being ordered to leave by the Marshals. This really isn't shocking. It's not as if the building were on fire.

This is a pretty lame topic. However, Judge Conlon is miserable seaward though.

This website is losing its snark.

there was a supreme court justice who was a real mr. P. Richard.

the law clerk wrote a diary that was later published by u chicago press.

check it out.

SEN

http://bp3.blogger.com/_0Toi8NqJtIQ/SJTztDR1_mI/AAAAAAAAAIM/UdZVpt2Ake0/s1600-h/P1000555.JPG

http://bp2.blogger.com/_0Toi8NqJtIQ/SJhRvVoD-jI/AAAAAAAAALE/HcDvd1zx4wI/s1600-h/Glasses.jpg

Dennis Block anyone?

le coq the sportive

As a former SPL'er I nominate Shanetta Cutlar.

59, thanks so much. You must be the guy who posts the Kash pics, too.

SEN is hot in those pics, a close second to Kash.

SEN, write us a post or two when you get a chance.

Men of ATL

SEN needs a diet.

Oink. Oink.

Ya just gotta luv a bunch of whiney Lawyer Commentors with an excess of idle time on their hands whom have nothing better to do than shell-out the baloney over typo's and how the content of a site they are commenting on doesn't suit their particular self-indulgent fantasy of their own importance.

No wonder law firms are cutting back (and my company is sending them home in droves too). There's obviously an excess of idle wit among the overly self-absorbed.

At least Pacific Reporter had the balls to actually sign in before he/she offered his/her bullsh!t.

"I'm just sayin' .... "

64 - was your "whom have" typo on purpose just to see what people would say?

65 - No, 64 was just being consistently inept at spelling and grammar.

Myra Selby, formerly Indiana Supreme Court Justice, now partner at Ice Miller is a real treat. She's a dumb ass and arrogant--not a good mix. Of course, when you don't have much between the ears going for you and are hired for other things (take a guess), that sometimes happens.

Where are these Kash pics that were previously posted?

Ice Miller? Isn't that a beer?

Myra Selby's assistant's name is "Robin Kills A Hundred". Seriously. robin.killsahundred@icemiller.com

http://www.icemiller.com/lawyer_detail/id/882/index.aspx

64: The plural of "typo" is "typos," not "typo's." "Typo's" refers to something that belongs to the typo. And if you did that just to make a point, it didn't work because too many people screw that one up. I think it just means you don't know the proper use of an apostrophe. I'm just sayin'.

And I would like to see these Kash pics also.

Not to nitpick, but basically the partner sent you on a mission to pay parking tickets, and there was a twist involved and you solved the problem. Where is the bad boss story here, the only bad thing is that he sent a lawyer on that mission and not a secretary or intern of some sort. But I guess he picked the right person for the job because it appears to have challenged you.

Right after law school, I went to work for a solo practitioner. His secretary was also his second wife. They were both very strange people and very anal retentive which resulted in much abuse towards me. I knew that he was a complete ass@#$%, but my suspicions were confirmed when he said he had not spoken to his two children from the first marriage in over 10 years and the kids were still minors at the time he told me that little bit of information.

Anyway, I never seemed to do anything right. Even if I used prior pleadings which he drafted, he would tear me to shreds. There was another attorney who shared office space with us and he befriended me. After working there for just under six months (benefits would have kicked in at the six month mark), I was let go. I was completely depressed about the whole thing until I learned from the office sharing attorney that everyone on the floor had a pool going on how long I would last (no one had me going more than three of months and I was told no one ever had lasted as long as I had). The office sharing attorney then proceeded to give me the names of others who had worked for this douchebag, so I could commiserate with other abused victims.

Frolic has gotta go! Adios

Another 9/11 story - my coworker had begun shortly before hand, and his brother worked in the WTC. Two hours later, partner A is walking halls, telling people to get back to work.
Associate- "My brother works there, and I'm trying to find out if he's alive...."
Partner A - "Nothing you can do for him now. Might as well bill."

75, that sounds apocryphal--if for no other reason than Partner A didn't wind up spitting all of his teeth.

Robin Kills A Hundred is the best thing about this entire thread (including the post).

Along the lines of 75's tale, morning of 9/11 at OMM in DC. Numerous partners, associates and staff are in a conference room glued to the tube while watching the horror unfold. Unnamed partner -- apparently after glancing around the room and silently calculating the opportunity cost in billables/revenue -- declares to all (paraphrasing) 'come on, everyone, back to work there's nothing you can do here watching' I don't recall anybody leaving then, and shortly after that word got out that a plane had hit the Pentagon and everybody in the room also absorbed the shock of the first tower going down before our eyes. I looked his way later and, although I might have been digging to see this, it appeared he felt like a giant ass for his earlier comment. Shortly thereafter, we filed out to evacuate the building and march north from the Penn. Ave. area along with everybody else in downtown DC.

I sent him a note of apology for not getting at least 8.0 that day. Ok, not true on the note, but here's to wishing I had had the guts.

actually there is an interesting little case going on at Ice Miller involving 2 partners who are dating and some chick who was screwing 1 of them. Each of the partners have both been through secretaries like water and it is non-stop gossip! I don't think the case has been settled. Anyone know what I am talking about???? Please share if you do! I don't know the whole story, someone just mentioned the basics to me.