Thursday, August 7, 2008 3:04 PM - By Frolic & Detour
[Ed. note: This post is by FROLIC & DETOUR, one of the finalists in ATL Idol, the “reality blogging” competition that will determine ATL’s next editor. It is marked with Frolic & Detour’s avatar (at right).]
Many thanks to those who wrote in about their creepy, sadistic, and otherwise entertaining legal bosses.
Our first nominee, Judge Suzanne B. Conlon, earned her place in bossal history by firing a clerk for complying with an evacuation order on Sep. 11, 2001.
Read about her competition, courtesy of some long-suffering ATL readers, after the jump.
1. Gee, your hair smells terrific…
During my first year at the firm, my boss would routinely stop me in the hallway and touch my hair, sometimes leaning over to smell my hair, telling me that I used “wonderful-smelling shampoo.” While I was working late one night, he came in and stood behind my chair, rubbing my shoulders and leaned down to put his face on my head, inhaling deeply. When I jerked away, he got turned on his heels and walked away, laughing to himself. Other female associates and paralegals also got this same unwanted attention, but I seemed to be the main target. When I tried to fight back and started defending myself against the rampant abuse at the firm, my reviews and reputation there plummeted. Shortly before I left, two young attractive female associates were hired, both of whom had long, lustrous hair. Sadly, the hair smelling tradition continues.
2. Win One for the Gipper
As a first year associate in D.C. about 20 years ago, I put in about 2400 hours total, 2200 billable. During my second year, our office manager (Barbie doll wife of senior partner) decided that I should help coach their son’s football team out in McLean. So, three days a week, I would work 7 am to 3 pm, drive out to McLean and coach for 2 hours, drive back into Georgetown and then work until 9 pm. At the end of the year, my performance review indicated that my billables had dropped to ONLY 2050 hours. As punishment, the firm took away my parking space. I quit 3 months later.
3. Scarecrow
“Scarecrow” in the regulatory practice in [A-List firm] DC office is the worst legal boss ever. He has run more people out the door since joining the firm a few years ago than anyone in the firm over a much longer period. As the last straw, Scarecrow berating an underling caused him to collapse in the hallway outside of his office and have a nervous breakdown on the floor. And, when the firm called paramedics, the subordinate screamed that he could not go to the hospital because he had too much work to do for Scarecrow.
4. ATL Readers
And our final nominee: Above the Law readers! Has any lawyer ever tried to please a tougher taskmaster? If so, we have yet to hear about it.
Here’s the poll:
(50) Comments
Comments
?
Sounds more like weak willed employees rather than terrible bosses.
ugh...awful...I'm depressed.
"bossal"??...now I'm even more depreseed.
First to say First!
3:14: you are a failure at everything you do and everything you will do
REESHON
I still hate "bossal"
good post F&D!
Pass
Wow, this took F&D a whole 3 minutes to write. The commenters did all the heavy lifting. Your titles were weak, too. A missed opportunity to show a little more wit, humor, intelligence, writing ability, etc.
Second to say First!
Third to say First!
Etc.
way to be terrible F&D
*thumbs down*
6...beautiful Hebrew drop on ATL, I'm proud.
the only "bad" boss there was the football coaching thing. Guy should have just said "I don't know how to coach" and probably would have been fine.
lil hair smelling, lil yelling...big deal.
F&D, i think you need to take a detour out of this competition
F&D made these up. They're too polished to have been submitted.
We're not your boss. We're your consumers. We're not going to fire you; we just won't read your garbage posts.
This was not good. Possible save opportunity by naming ATL readers.....but completely frittered away.
Have liked some of F&D's other work but this is not one of the better efforts today.
HAhahaha...hahaha...hahaha...hahaha...
Excuse me while I keep laughing at the pure wit and style of F&D's non-cliche'd choice to nominate us as the worst bosses ever.
Worst Post Ever.
I'm cracking up at the Alex P. Keaton photo.
14 - why didnt you say sheini?
F&D needs to go the Arnie route.
This sucks balls. Can anyone teabag me to pass the time?
I like F&D's photos and captions. "Intervene then dismiss with prejudice" is cute.
Standings:
Sophist
Centaur Pubes
Marin & Alex
Stuff Between My Toes
F & D
I quit -- I can't read ATL anymore. It has gone too far downhill. Farwell, trolls and all. ATL's gone TTT.
21, cuz i was arba'esreh
ATL is really falling apart.
NOTHING on Kwame Kilpatrick having his bond revoked and ordered to jail?
Yes, why is there NOTHING on Kilpatrick going to jail?
27 - i hear ya. for all you know its all yehudim here
Guys in my high school were bossal all the time; it was no big deal.
There's nothing funnier than a good ole' case of repeated sexual harassment without recourse...
Another great F & D post! She is the funniest, her writing is the tightest, and her stories are the most provocative!
LAT: Where the hell is PCH?
Where's HofstraMagna? I want some stories from Long Island.
30, Id rather it not be after seeing the caliber of comments haha. But im sure a large number of the new york readership is yehudim here.
Clearly I should have written in cause my experiences were far worse...but then again, I'm not dumb enough to do that from my work computer.
Shelishim v'shmoneh!
27 -told you its all yehudim. see 38
Where's the woman who has an assistant named "Kills A Hundred"?
Shleshim v'shevah, holla!
you know, i didn't think the original post was going anywhere, but F&D turned it around. you had a good day today F&D!
You're just lucky that Marin's post was so God awful, she set a new floor for the competition.
I haven't seen so much Hebrew since grade school.
Hair smelling aint nothing compared to Russia!
I am attracked by the article's title and really want to say something about my boss. Well, my boss is not really a "legal" boss since he has no law degree and never been in law school. However, he supervises all the lawyers and non-lawyers in the firm. His supervision is super because he decides what the lawyers should say or not say to the clients. He himself even gives legal advice to the clients. I feel like that I am just a tool to him to earn money.
I am attracked by the article's title and really want to say something about my boss. Well, my boss is not really a "legal" boss since he has no law degree and never been in law school. However, he supervises all the lawyers and non-lawyers in the firm. His supervision is super because he decides what the lawyers should say or not say to the clients. He himself even gives legal advice to the clients. I feel like that I am just a tool to him to earn money.
I am attracked by the article's title and really want to say something about my boss. Well, my boss is not really a "legal" boss since he has no law degree and never been in law school. However, he supervises all the lawyers and non-lawyers in the firm. His supervision is super because he decides what the lawyers should say or not say to the clients. He himself even gives legal advice to the clients. I feel like that I am just a tool to him to earn money.
I am attracked by the article's title and really want to say something about my boss. Well, my boss is not really a "legal" boss since he has no law degree and never been in law school. However, he supervises all the lawyers and non-lawyers in the firm. His supervision is super because he decides what the lawyers should say or not say to the clients. He himself even gives legal advice to the clients. I feel like that I am just a tool to him to earn money.
I am attracked by the article's title and really want to say something about my boss. Well, my boss is not really a "legal" boss since he has no law degree and never been in law school. However, he supervises all the lawyers and non-lawyers in the firm. His supervision is super because he decides what the lawyers should say or not say to the clients. He himself even gives legal advice to the clients. I feel like that I am just a tool to him to earn money.