ATL Idol: The Judges Speak (Week 1)
Later today, we will open the reader polls in ATL Idol, the “reality blogging” competition in which you will select the next editor of Above the Law. Before we do that, however, we’d like to give our panel of “celebrity judges” the chance to weigh in on the contestants.
Reader opinions on the competitors have been all over the map, as well as overwhelming in volume, with hundreds of comments posted in total. So hopefully this concise commentary, from experts in legal blogging, will be clarifying.
To refresh your recollection, the distinguished judges are:
Read the judges’ reviews, after the jump.
As we previously explained, the three judges — who are all very busy people, with day jobs — were called upon to judge only the head-to-head rounds, in which the five contestants tackled two assigned stories (here and here). The judges were permitted, but not required, to read the contestants’ other posts. They were similarly permitted, but not required, to read the reader comments appended to the posts (so it’s possible that some of the judges’ comments may be similar to ones that y’all posted in the comments — if so, pat yourself on the back for thinking like an expert).
And now, without further ado, here are the judges’ reviews. The judges were also encouraged to respond to each other, a la American Idol, and Professor Althouse availed herself of that opportunity.
PROFESSOR ANN ALTHOUSE
University of Wisconsin Law School
[Ed. note: Professor Althouse’s comments are also posted over at her blog, where her readers have already started responding.]
The most important part of blogging is — to use an American Idol expression — song selection. You should be spending much more time looking for good things to blog than actually writing up the post. But you’ve had your stories imposed on you, and they are stories that don’t interest me at all. I clicked on the links, took a look, and couldn’t be bothered. And why are they all about black people getting into trouble? Is that supposed to be funny?
But that’s not the contestants’ responsibility. You got stuck with that. It’s like Mariah Carey night. I hate the songs, so how can I care how you sing them? You’d better do something very smart and tricky or I’m gone in second. This is blogging! You have less than a second to reel me in. One thing I hated about the original articles is that they are complicated and about people I don’t know and have no motivation to learn about. Why should I figure out what damned thing happened? So the least you could do is make it very short and funny in some way that didn’t require me to understand a lot of crap I don’t care about. But you all went long. And putting it in list form or as a series of steps doesn’t fool me. It’s still long and boring. Blah. I hate everything. You did not amuse me. I would never buy this record.
Some specifics:
Part 1: EXLEY. That lap dance picture. I was trying to read this sitting in the middle seat on an airplane between two large Harley Davidson bikers from New Zealand. That was an element of entertainment I didn’t need. Then, I scrolled down to ALEX’s post and got a picture of some law books. Yeesh! It’s one extreme or the other. And everyone runs with the photo of the smiling black man in happier days. That made me sad. But speaking of things women don’t like, Alex, it’s not cool to snark “lovers’ quarrel” if a man has punched a woman in the stomach. And you’ve got that right next to a breast-emphasizing photo of the woman. Ugh.
Part 2: FROLIC AND DETOUR, only one phrase stood out: “groups of bridesmaids bonding as they make babies’ footprints into tiny butterfly wings.” Would I read a blog that offered me insight and entertainment in that form? No. You’re sneering at ordinary women. Why? Who are you? SOPHIST falls back on the old device of how-to steps. I never find that funny. Seems like you could program a computer to turn news stories into a list of how-to steps. Here’s a phrase: “back-end of the Lee gene pool.” 1. Pools don’t have a “back-end.” You mean “shallow end.” 2. Racism alert. MARIN — my eyes glazed over but I did see the phrase “picked himself up, dusted himself off.” That made me want to run off to YouTube and watch Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Now, that was entertaining, but surely not the effect you want.
THOMAS C. GOLDSTEIN
Akin Gump
Taking up the role of Simon Cowell, I’ll be blunt. The contestants have big blogging shoes to fill - and so far, they don’t measure up. ATL fills a niche market in the sprawling blawgosphere. It’s witty, well reported, and easy to follow. (It inspires people to kiss up.) For the most part, the contestants’ posts were poorly structured, showed limited comedic skill, and either over-linked or awkwardly integrated pictures and quotes.
I mean, what are the odds that two different contestants would use the insipid “seven steps” model for their lawyer-of-the-day posts? With rare exceptions, lists are a crutch for writers who can’t tell stories in paragraph form, and make a poor substitute for real wit and analysis. Or maybe the authors were uncomfortable with any writing task beyond drafting complaints.
In the words of a British music mogul, the head-to-head round was like “ordering a ferocious guard dog for your home and getting delivered a poodle in a leather jacket instead.” Everyone needs to step up his or her game.
On the individual contestants:
EXLEY, you picked up on good facts, like that Shephard lives outside his district and, unlike Alex, that he likely pressured his girlfriend to recant her allegations. But your intro lost me at very start. “Kash recently wrote a post…” As any aspiring blogger should know, “post” can (and should) function as a verb. Thus, you should have began: “Kash recently posted…” The more words you waste, the more time ATL readers lose. In addition to the cringe-worthy list format, your post was far too long - a fault made more obvious by the awkward picture formatting - and displayed poor grammar and sentence structure.
ALEX, very good lead in. From the start, we know Shephard is a sleazy character. And the fact he was out on bond on a separate federal indictment (which Exley didn’t reveal until the end) is crucial to understanding the rest of the story. But the abrupt shift in the middle (“Wait, hold on. None of that’s true”) threw me off. Tongue in cheek rhetoric or playing devil’s advocate only works when the facts or argument are well known. Your linking skills also could use some work, but I’d say you won your round.
FROLIC, it’s clear you can write. And since you flaunted your Ivy League credentials in your bio, there’s no doubt you’re a smart cookie. But your insider’s perspective may be lost on the average reader. Focus more on spicing up your writing and less on Harvard and Stanford inside jokes. Also, as one commenter noted, you left off the “interim” from Lee’s job title. Good text-to-link ratio, but the absence of in-text photos made the post look bare.
SOPHIST — again with the lists! With all the potential in a story on Lee’s descent from top government lawyer (ascent?) to Arts & Crafts, adopting the style of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” is a poor choice. You also missed an opportunity to link to Lee’s former firm. You better dazzle in your final post, because between this and Tuesday’s post — really, you picked a standing case for its comedic value? Standing? — you’re not helping your cause.
MARIN, you’re a solid writer and you know how to link. I particularly liked your adage, “if at first you get disbarred, try, try again.” And good catch on the Wite-Out part of the story. But your MJ your paragraphs are too long. You want to engage your audience, not overwhelm them. Still, you win this round. But perhaps a mistrial should probably be called—linking to your own blog in your opening bio could influence the jury about your writing abilities.
PROFESSOR ALTHOUSE (responding to Tom Goldstein)
Hmmm… yeah… the Wite-Out line. It was clever — putting aside the fact that no one redacts with Wite-Out (do they?) and it has no role in pottery ornamentation. Yet the brush is a concrete and unifying image and it gives me a slight artistic frisson. I was in L.A. for that Supreme Court earthquake*, and I didn’t even feel it, so giving me a frisson is a big deal. But I’m obsessed with the racial angle. Should we be needling black people about Wite-Out? It seems wrong.
*5.4.
DAHLIA LITHWICK
Slate
You know … I WANTED to be your Gloria. But yikes folks. Anyone care to break a sweat here? You’re all pretty funny and you’re all good writers. But you can’t write blog posts in the six minutes between depositions. Unlike Ann I thought the raw material was pretty funny and I really wanted to care about your write ups. But. But But.
EXLEY: twice as funny, half the length! And save the soft porn graphics for the guys at the bar at Hooters. ALEX: Points for having a beginning, middle and an end. You need to scare up at least one laugh-out-loud line tho’. FROLIC: Nice work getting it short and punchy but you compressed so much material in there that I only got the jokes when your competitors unpacked them for me. SOPHIST: “Go to GULC” is neither a point, nor a joke. MARIN: Structure! Context! Phew!
PROFESSOR ALTHOUSE (responding to Dahlia Lithwick)
The raw material might be funny, Dahlia, but I wasn’t moved to read it. I like to think of myself as the Simon here, but I am also playing the role of the short attention span. Nobody sold me on going so far as to read the articles… or, for that matter, the posts. I skimmed, looked at the pictures, caught some phrases. This, for me, constitutes giving the contestants the fairest reading, because that’s how I treat blogs in real life. Will I read Above the Law when David’s gone? I don’t know. Make me.
*******************************
We thank the judges for their insightful commentary. We’ll be opening the polls shortly; check back soon to cast your vote.
P.S. Reading all these nice things being written about us is like getting to attend our own funeral and listen to the eulogies. The kind words are a nice change of pace from the flak we often take, in the comments and elsewhere.
But just so you know, we will be working closely with the new editor to make ATL even better than it is now, and we will continue to write regularly for the site. So, since we won’t be completely gone from the premises, the eulogies are premature.
(96) Comments
Comments
1
Frist psot!
Well, hell's bells, I wish I had applied. I coulda done at least as well as these guys.
Was this really the best you had, Lat?
The American Idol model of snarky hyper-critical judges reminds me of the fact that none of the American Idol judges can sing as well as they expect the contestants to, and none of the judges here can blog at the level that they expect of the contestants. And, Ann, you're talking about things that are trite and unentertaining? I'd rather catch a simultaneous yeast infection and UTI than be subjected to the "entertainment" on your blog.
Couldn't Althouse find a better photo than one she just took with her camera phone?
Why should I care about any of the judges' opinions? I care nothing about the work they do on their own blogs, etc. DAHLIA LITHWICK? I never even heard of this woman before this contest. She's the equivalent to bringing in the drummer from Flock of Seagulls to guest judge on American Idol.
"Reading all these nice things being written about us is like getting to attend our own funeral and listen to the eulogies. . . "
That's what I will miss - the first person plural, the almost royal "we."
If Mr. Goldstein is taking up the part of Simon, I would like to see him be A LOT meaner .. btw anyone know how I can get my resume to him??
11:06 - You have never heard of Dahlia Lithwick? Seriously?
She is the biggest name of them all. Someone put up a fansite to her:
http://www.blueblanket.net/Dahlia/
8 = CWT "class of 96"
Lat, please place that video after a jump; it's killing my shitty-ass GI computer to reload ATL.
Althouse = racist
Althouse < TTT
this site has officially jumped the shark
wi-ki-pe-di-ia is not a valid source.
"But I'm obsessed with the racial angle."
All that time in Wisconsin must have given the Professor a chance to become well-versed in the race relations of America
Hey 6, Dahlia Lithwick is a badass, moron, and you're parading your ignorance by failing to recognize this.
9: Dahlia Lithwick is a senior editor at Slate. She writes "Supreme Court Dispatches" and "Jurisprudence" and has covered the Microsoft trial and other legal issues for Slate. Before joining Slate as a freelancer in 1999, she worked for a family law firm in Reno, Nevada. Her work has appeared in The New Republic, ELLE, The Ottawa Citizen, and The Washington Post. She was a regular guest on The Al Franken Show, and has been a guest columnist for the New York Times Op-Ed page.
Family law firm in Reno? Al Franken show . . probably heard by 500 people in the US? The Ottawa Citizen? How could I not have known who she is? Man, thanks for setting me straight. She must be important if one person has written about her on another obscure blog that no one, besides you, has ever heard of before this site's contest. I would imagine a Google search of her name would yield only a slightly higher result than my own.
Althouse is weird man - what racial angle? Is there some subtlety I'm missing? I just don't see it.
But all the judges are right; these candidates stink! I hope we can vote for Kash (or even SEN!). Or give us a choice to start from scratch - find new candidates.
17: Really? Did you really just call her a badass? Really? I'd say then that you're a badass moron . . . at least over the internet.
Althouse is too hung up on dumb race-baiting charges; no one cares, it's a tabloid, not a responsible, straight-laced media outfit. Race bait away!
Likewise, Lithwick forgets her medium here. While Slate can tolerate 1000+ word counts, ATL can give up some structure and form for teh lulz. GULC jokes, like all ATL in-jokes, are par for the course here.
Goldstein hasn't made any obvious mistakes, but his insights range from the obvious to the uncompelling.
All in all, the judges are as terrible at judging as the contestants are at blogging. Lat should stick to his strengths, i.e., blogging, instead of organizing shitty reality contests.
Less judge bashing and more crappy candidate bashing.
The bottom line: All three judges pretty much agreed that all five candidates are inadequate Lat replacements.
Again I implore you, Lat, to wipe the slate clean and get new candidates. They are all mediocre at best, with Marin being particularly horrid.
Seriously, if you don't know who Dahlia Lithwick is then your an idiot.
At lease this contest has allowed us to determine one thing - - Althouse is a moron.
I am convinced more than ever that Kash is the best cantidate for the job. She got ATL immediately. The readers like her and her posts.
So why not write Kash in for the job?
Do you really read this blog becuse David Lat graduated Yale and did a short stint in BigLaw or for his ability to inform and amuse?
Thnin about it.
If you're going to read a blog post with an eye toward judging it, most blog posts are going to stink. If Lat was forced to go through this same process, every one of you would think he was the worst as well. I haven't loved all of the posts, but I don't think they were as bad as Tom makes them seem.
I am convinced more than ever that Kash is the best cantidate for the job. She got ATL immediately. The readers like her and her posts.
So why not write Kash in for the job?
Do you really read this blog becuse David Lat graduated Yale and did a short stint in BigLaw or for his ability to inform and amuse?
Think about it.
These opinions weren't very helpful. The current standings are as follows:
1. Sophist
2. Alex
.
.
.
.
993. Marin
993. Exley
.
.
.
.
11,834,575. F&D
"Seriously, if you don't know who Dahlia Lithwick is then your an idiot."
This is like Epimenides saying "all Cretans are liars."
I think you were searching for "you're" not "your." Try again bozo.
Could we dump the "really? . . . really?" trying-to-be-funny thing? It wasn't funny on SNL and it's not here. Kthx.
I think whatever Dahlia thinks. She's amazing. Dahlia to replace Lat!
Dahlia, Don't you want to be their "Paula." Why would you want to be their "Gloria." Who the hell is Gloria?
11:32 um no. You didn't get it. It's a pretty sophomoric bit, but it takes a true toolbox to even respond.
Cheers,
-11:27
Ann Althouse sees a racist behind every bush.
Dalia Lithwick is dope...and she has a cool name.
I never heard of that other geezer.
No, 29, you misunderstand the liar's paradox. There is nothing self-contradicting in 23 both being an idiot and calling you one; you both probably are idiots, in fact. On the other hand Epimenides' statement was undecidable, i.e., it could be neither true nor false.
Not knowing who Lithwick is is like reading USA Today instead of the Times or listening to WSJ This Morning instead of Wait, Wait Don't Tell Me.
great. stupid comments about stupid blogs. i'm done with this.
p.s. Dear Dahlia, it's PAULA, not GLORIA.
Maureen Mahoney, Ted Olson, Carter Phillips, Tom Goldstein. Which of these SCOTUS litigators spends his/her free time judging posts on a gossip blog? Oh, right, the one who only pretends to be a member of the elite SCOTUS bar, Mr. Tom Goldstein. Tom, I would pay to see the personal marketing plans you share with Akin partners. Do they laugh out loud at your shameless internet self-promotion? Your appearance here is only further evidence that nothing -- absolutely nothing -- is beneath you. I wish Ponnuru would get over here to give you another beat-down.
But even worse is Albino Althouse, who ironically spends two paragraphs trying to tell our contestants to get to the point, and then drops in the aside that she "can't be bothered" to actually read the content she's supposed to be judging. Can't be bothered? Who the fuck do you think you are? Then again, perhaps you never emerged from the fetal position you assumed after the editors of Reason magazine made you cry.
Pathetic.
doesn't know dahlia? seriously?
Dahlia = awesome.
Althouse = STFU.
Goldstein = blah.
'nuff said.
Dahlia doesn't know who Paula Abdul is? Seriously? I guess when you're as famous as Dahlia you can't be bothered to learn the names of obscure people. It's not like 50 million people watched American Idol every week. That's about as many readers she has. Right?
the judges are worse then the contestants
11:38 (1) - Your assessment may be accurate. Although, in this instance, I made the grammar mistake purposefully in order to add a little sting to the otherwise (and still) meaningless dig. Getting called an idiot by an idiot stings no? And then responding to getting called an idiot by an idiot only makes you look more ... well you get the point.
I bet Paula Abdul has no f'ing idea who Dahlia is.
If Lat leaves, ATL should just shut down while it's on top. Just like Favre should retire for good and Jordan never should have played for the Wizards
43: No one believes that statement. It's clear "your" a moron.
Kash is king.
If it's possible these judges are even worse than the contestants themselves. Yuck.
aren't the judges on Am. Idol worse than the contestants?
Althouse bores me. Get someone with insightful commentary, please. Her heavy-handed objections to making fun of people she thinks are exceptionally vulneranble to (oh noes!!1!) emotional damage are tiresome.
Who is Gloria?
Although Kash has been a valued contributor, she wouldn't cut the mustard as lead editor because she isn't a lawyer. That means she can't even do the superficial legal analysis that accompany many of Lat's posts. A site for lawyers probably needs to be run by someone who is well-versed in the law.
wow. Althouse is one annoying cunt
What if we don't like any of the candidates?
If we protest by not voting, Marin (who has lobbied for votes on her personal blog) will win by default.
We should be able to vote for the two we most want to send off the island.
Co-sign 52.
that's racist, 52.
Althouse and Goldstien are a tad stuff shirt for this blog, but they do make excillent points.
The contestants are all overly verbose, unorganized, and unfunny.
Every post Kash Hill has
Could the judges not even be bothered to give us analysis of the 3 posts the candidates did? Lazy. Doesn't change the fact that after the debacle that was yesterday's posts Sophist is in first...
I'd respond to these racist posts, but no one has made me read them, so I haven't and won't. I'm a very lazy, self-important person, you know.
-- Ann Outhouse
Althouse and Goldstien are a tad stuff shirt for this blog, but they do make excellent points.
The contestants are ALL overly verbose, unorganized, and unfunny.
Every posting by Kash Hill from day-one has struck just the right tone, has been the right length, and has been spot on. In addition, no one dislikes her.
So why isn’t she taking over David’s role?
F MINUS. FOR ALL OF THEM. End this horrendous side show now.
Kash is an obvious choice, with Lat editing and adding lawyerly touches as necessary.
ZOMG you mentioned "wite out" in a story involving a black person. Racist!
Althouse imploring bloggers to be interesting? Goldstein imploring bloggers to be concise? Lithwick imploring bloggers to be funny?
How many more pots can we get in here to call kettles black?
The results of this competition should not determine the next editor of ATL. It's that simple.
Every single aspect of this contest has made me cringe. The ideas for the stories were generally poor. Execution was generally terrible. The fact that the judges chimed in with commentary ranging from the unnervingly obsessive (Ann "Nigga Please" Althouse) to the obviously out-of-touch ("Glorious Gloria" Lithwick) only puts the exclamation point in my conclusion: THIS CONTEST SUCKS!
If you can't find someone with biglaw associate experience who can actually write, give Kash the job. Seriously. As others have noted, she gets it, even though she's not in Lat's league.
Ann Althouse loses it:
http://www.crooksandliars.com/2007/03/26/ann-althouse-losses-it/
Lat-- you should have had the contestant write another post today instead of the judges comments (seriously did any of them even read yesterday's posts???) that would have been more helpful
Goldstein is Mr. super lawyer. How do you get to work for him?
The field has been absolutely unimpressive. The legal style of writing and the journalistic/blogging one are complete opposites and these fools don't know how to make that transition.
This isn't sour grapes, but I applied for the position and wasn't even a finalist, but I could prove from my past blogging experience and work in media that I could provide both cogent legal analysis, humor, and brevity. I haven't seen that from any of these finalists.
Too bad Mr. Lat seems to be so dazzled by Harvard!Stanford!BigLaw! to want to give a wide variety of options who might offer a less "prestigious" look at the law and the plight of young graduates. Rather than laid off attorneys at AMLAW who have already banked their million, there are many more in a less enviable position.
This competition is a farce.
Having previously ranted at 64, I should note that the judges were generally correct in noting the obvious defects in the contestants' posts.
And I will continue to refer to Ms. Lithwick as "Gloria Lithwick." Forever.
Official ATL-Idol Judges ranking:
1.) Goldstein
2.) Lithwick
3.) Althouse
Lithwick would be first except she fails at "getting" ATL because GULC bashing is a commenter pastime and she likes Marin. Cardinal sin, that is.
68:
"both cogent legal analysis, humor, and brevity"
Or maybe -- just maybe -- Mr. Lat wasn't too impressed by someone who could provide both of three things.
Pics of Dahlia and Kash in bikinis, please.
1) two female judges when the majority of both biglaw and ATL's readership is crass male is a bad idea - many ATL readers enjoy a little titilation at work and so do not mind photos like the ones they criticize.
2) happy that the judges said what we've all been thinking - none of these hacks is good enough to take over this blog. Declare a mulligan and open the hiring process back up.
I wonder if Loyola2L applied for the job.
I love that this thread turned into "attack the judges." ATL commenters are my favorites.
Guys in my high school used to do Althouse all the time, it was no big deal.
Kashmir > Marin > Edelman > Alex > Asia Chronicles > Sophist > Exley > Frolic & Detour
Taking up the role of Simon Cowell, I'll be blunt. The contestants have big blogging shoes to fill - and so far, they don't measure up.
================
Taking up the role of role of a moron who thinks he can write, you'll mix metaphors. Then you'll proceed to obsess about using too many words while at the same time using the throat-clearing "I mean" to start one of your paragraphs. Will someone please put this tool back in his box?
As for Althouse, the only insight in her ramblings is the admission that "I hate everything." Including yourself, no doubt.
73: go back to your cave.
Why did Prof. Outhouse respond to all the other judge's entries? And why was her response to Goldstein's comments so bat-shit crazy?
Ann Althouse - methinks the lady doth protest too much. YOU are the racist.
Ann Althouse - methinks the lady doth protest too much. YOU are the racist.
16: "All that time in Wisconsin must have given the Professor a chance to become well-versed in the race relations of America."
Um, I know you're a knee-jerk liberal coastie who thinks that the sun rises and sets on Obama's say so, but really, do you not know about the large black population of Milwaukee???
And, of course, no white person EVER can figure out non-whites. we're stupid, privileged idiots. of course. can't do crap.
When reading the original posting, I didn't pick up any racial tie-in at all wrt needling a black person about using Wite-Out. Upon review, there *is* no hint of any racial slur there at all.
Althouse even admits that she is "obsessed with the racial angle." Except there *was* no racial angle! She created it. Althouse is the racist here, not Marin! Sad.
The voting is now up for who the next editor will be. Go directly to the Vizu site to vote and you can see where the votes are coming from and how many total votes there are. Plus you can vote for Kash or None of the above if you want.
http://www.vizu.com/poll-vote.html?n=109902
My vote is Kash all the way!
Althouse needs to actually read the blogs AND the links before commenting. In the Garrett Lee case, the Board of Responsibility's charges against Lee specifically said that he used Wite-Out to redact the judge's order. I am only a casual reader and even I saw that.
Lat, she clearly could not be bothered with fulfilling her duties as a judge.
#65 Thanks for the video.
Outhouse is clearly delusional and completely paranoid. She loves playing the victim.
Let's see how well they model a pearl necklace - then I will vote.
Not impressed with any of them.
Alhouse = Outhouse. She sucks hard. Darn, what a worthless person.
Lat, can we vote a judge off each week, too?
If SEN isn't a secret contestant she'd be a good celebrity judge, since she understands ATL and has shown she can take the heat in the kitchen.
Kash would be best but she's trying to go full time to NYU next year so she'll be too busy.
Kash, trade up from the journo degree to the JD and then keep the site.
In the beginning I was upset that Lat decided to leave. We trust him and his judgment (to not sell us) and we enjoy his writing.
Then I was happy because I thought that the contest would be a fun, and perhaps would help to transition a new EIC (and maybe to get me to buy into the change).
After trying to read some of these posts, however, I am back to being sad. I'm not liking what I am seeing and I can't figure out who I like most or least of this bunch. Lat, please don't go! Stay the EIC and your new fancy job. It would still be <50% of the hours you worked at Wachtell.
No. 6, Dahlia Lithwick is one of the best legal bloggers out there, bar none. That you haven't heard of her says more about you (and nothing about her).
Signed,
a DL reader since her early days on Slate
I want Laurie Lin to do this. Why can't she be the new EIC?
Dahlia Lithwick writes nothing but fluff and poorly-reasoned nonsense. Is she famous? Yes. Is she worth reading? Absolutely not.
If _Althouse_ was the new EIC she'd just put up a 1-liner in the morning telling us she was too busy to post or to read any of the tips we sent her.