Jingoistic competition is fun, but why should handing out medals be the sole province of the IOC? Athletes and David Rivkin should not be the only ones getting a taste of Olympic glory.
Here at ATL, we’ve put law firms on the (imaginary) field of competition and are now ready to reveal the gold medal winners in a number of sports.
After the jump, see the winners, and weigh in on which firms would be champions in sports we did not pick for prime time.
Archery: Sullivan & Cromwell
They can never quite knock off the top two, but they keep shooting and shooting anyway.
Beach Volleyball: Davis Polk & Wardwell
Is there a minimum hotness requirement for getting an offer at DPW? How cool would it be if DPW litigators had to wear the official Beach Volleyball
pasties uniforms to court?
Cycling: Quinn Emanuel Urquhart Oliver and Hedges
Like all cyclists, the Quinn Emmanuel guys are on something.
Diving: Cadwalader Wickersham & Taft
Next time they might want to make sure there’s actually water in the pool before they jump off the platform.
Gymnastics: Cleary Gottlieb Steen & Hamilton
Top ten on Vault, Top ten on the A-List. Clearly Cleary is an all-around champion.
Swimming: Cravath, Swaine & Moore
There is no shame in losing to Michael Phelps, or Wachtell.
100-Yard Dash: Dewey & LeBoeuf
Are we even sure that they are done expanding? Look for Dewey & Leboeuf to merge with Wal-Mart next. Bulk legal services at everyday low prices.
Weightlifting: Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz
You have to be pretty strong to lift those paychecks, in a slightly grotesque, frightening way.