Law Firm Olympics

Jingoistic competition is fun, but why should handing out medals be the sole province of the IOC? Athletes and David Rivkin should not be the only ones getting a taste of Olympic glory.
Here at ATL, we’ve put law firms on the (imaginary) field of competition and are now ready to reveal the gold medal winners in a number of sports.
After the jump, see the winners, and weigh in on which firms would be champions in sports we did not pick for prime time.


Archery: Sullivan & Cromwell
They can never quite knock off the top two, but they keep shooting and shooting anyway.
Beach Volleyball: Davis Polk & Wardwell
Is there a minimum hotness requirement for getting an offer at DPW? How cool would it be if DPW litigators had to wear the official Beach Volleyball pasties uniforms to court?
Cycling: Quinn Emanuel Urquhart Oliver and Hedges
Like all cyclists, the Quinn Emmanuel guys are on something.
Diving: Cadwalader Wickersham & Taft
Next time they might want to make sure there’s actually water in the pool before they jump off the platform.
Gymnastics: Cleary Gottlieb Steen & Hamilton
Top ten on Vault, Top ten on the A-List. Clearly Cleary is an all-around champion.
Swimming: Cravath, Swaine & Moore
There is no shame in losing to Michael Phelps, or Wachtell.
100-Yard Dash: Dewey & LeBoeuf
Are we even sure that they are done expanding? Look for Dewey & Leboeuf to merge with Wal-Mart next. Bulk legal services at everyday low prices.
Weightlifting: Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz
You have to be pretty strong to lift those paychecks, in a slightly grotesque, frightening way.

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