Life for KFC and Pizza
Tremayne Durham has some serious food issues. In 2006, he decided he wanted to enter the ice cream business, so he ordered an $18,000 ice cream truck from a company in Oregon.
When he changed his mind about selling popsicles, the company refused to give him a refund. Durham traveled from New York to Oregon to confront the company. Apparently, he has anger issues as well — he shot and killed an employee.
Now he’s making headlines for his unusual plea bargain. From the Guardian:
His craving for a decent bit of nosh was so intense that he agreed to pay a high price - a life sentence.Durham, 33, struck a plea bargain last month in which he was guaranteed a meal of KFC chicken, Popeye’s chicken, mashed potato, coleslaw, carrot cake and ice cream - in return for pleading guilty to murder.
As part of the deal, and after receiving a life sentence this week in court in Portland, Oregon, Durham will also get a second feast, this time on an Italian theme, with calzone, lasagne, pizza and ice cream.
The judge, Eric Bergstrom, is understood to have accepted the bargain because it would save the state of Oregon thousands of dollars in hosting a trial and possible subsequent appeals.
One of the tipsters who sent this story our way was inspired:
The next plea deal I negotiate will contain a heart wrenching narrative about my client’s woeful circumstances, a ยง 3553 analysis, and a demand for a footlong sub, a sack of White Castle, and a Fudgie the Whale cake. I can’t wait for Durham’s habeas petition, based on the Government’s impermissible substitution of pizza bagels and chicken fingers, in violation of the plea agreement.
New Yorker agrees to life sentence in exchange for fast food feast [The Guardian]
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Comments
First!!! I am the greatest!
FIRST. I DID IT MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2, you did it: You came in 2nd. Congrats.
Sincerely yours,
#1
Really, really old news. Fark had this story a while ago.
Judge Halverson has agreed to a plea with the Nevada ARDC. In return for her accepting of tough sanctions, the State has promised her a free meal at the Golden Nugget All You Can Eat Buffet
Old News! Toolbaggery!
Simpson ditches dead weight
http://www.thelawyer.com/cgi-bin/item.cgi?id=134149&d=415&h=417&f=416
http://www.thelawyer.com/cgi-bin/item.cgi?id=134146&d=415&h=417&f=416
This story is as pathetic as the typical last meals requested by death row inmates (e.g., 4 Eskimo pies, a cherry Coke and a cheese burger).
Screw that.
I am holding out for a kilo of Beluga and at least three bottles of vintage Krug.
I'd kill for some ice cream, but I would die for some tasty KFC. Finger lickin' good...
Let's hear more about Simpson Thacher layoffs (a.k.a. "mid-year reviews").
This Popeye Chicken is freakin awesome!
Sincerely yours,
Little Nicky
He should've at least demanded a feast once a month for the rest of his sentence or at a very minimum once a year.
Family Guy did this already:
http://www.quahog5news.com/downloads/quotes/season1/FG102/kwondike%20bar.mp3
And with that Simpson joins the ranks of TTTs populated by CWT, McKee, SNT, OMM. Once the economy turns around, these firms are going to get SLAMMED in recruiting top students. Way to think ahead, RETARDS...
These facts are racist.
12 - agreed, what a fool!
Now Simpson associates can fight CWT associates to wipe my ass.
Sincerely,
The Ass of Cravath Material
14's totally right. Those guys are going to have real trouble finding anyone to take $175K as a first year associate coming out of law school when even they know that they don't know anything. Once that economy turns around, they may just fold because nobody's going to want to work there. Not for that kind of money....in CHARLOTTE. Please.
Props to Kash on the snappy graphic job.
(Just thought that was overlooked in the rush to pretend that hours-strapped junior associates have any leverage over their Biglaw firms through the threat of negative comments on ATL.)
Since it was a negotiation, why not start with an annual 2 week furlough at Marin's resort of choice in Aruba.
On second thought, take the KFC.
Um, he pleaded guilty for TWO meals???
Some people have no standards. First, at the very least he should have insisted on Trotter's, Puck, Nobu, whatever.
Second, TWO meals? As in, total? Like, ever?
His lawyer should have tried to parlay this into an insanity plea.
KFC? Isn't that cruel & unusual punishment?
SIMPSONS DID IT!
Kevin Malone unavailable for comment.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/26945/the-office-kevins-loan-malones-cones